嘿 你们明天晚上有事吗？ Hey, you guys? What are you doing tomorrow night?
嗯 让我看看 我想我… Oh, well, let me see. I believe I'm...
是的 会在电视机前面睡着 Yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.
我经纪人给我六张票 去看一出很棒的舞台剧 Well, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.
我也可以在那出舞台剧演出时睡觉 I could fall asleep at a play.
- 是什么样的舞台剧？ - 是一个女人的独场戏叫做… - What is it? - It's a one-woman play called:
《你为什么不喜欢我？ 一个悲惨女人的生命历程》 Why Don't You Like Me? A Bitter Woman's Journey Through Life.
噢 Ooh.
- 听起来挺有趣的 - 是听起来挺有趣的 - That sounds interesting. - That does sound interesting.
听一个女人抱怨两个小时 我不认为那会再更… To listen to a woman complain for two hours. I don't think it gets bet...
我知道 我们可以开车 可以投票 可以工作 I know! I know. We can drive. We can vote. We can work.
那些女人还想要什么呢？ What more do these broads want?
你们会喜欢的 我保证 Well, you guys will have a great time. I promise.
什么？为什么你不去呢？ What? How come you don't have to go?
我希望我可以 但是我发现… I wish I could, but I found out...
我隔天要很早就起来工作 所以我不能去 that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go.
但是你们可以用剩下的那张票 邀请任何人去都可以 But take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
让我瞧瞧我最恨谁呢？ Ooh. Let's see. Who do I hate?
对不起 Oh, sorry.
- 哦 对不起 - 好的 - Oops, sorry. - Okay.
- 好的 - 好的 抬起来 - Okay. - Okay. Up you 90-
- 天啊 好的 - 好了 - Oh, gosh, okay! - All right.
- 我可以问你一个问题吗？ - 什么 - Can I ask you a question? - Yeah.
你觉得有没有可能两个朋友… Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around...
打情骂俏后不会有事情发生？ and not have it be a big deal?
不可能 为什么？ No, I don't think that ever works. Why?
- 没事 - 等一等 瑞秋？ - No reason. - No, no. Rachel?
- 你想要跟谁打情骂俏呢？ - 没有人 别想太多 - Who do you want to fool around with? - Nobody! Forget it.
乔伊吗？ Joey?
或许吧 Maybe.
- 不行 - 为什么？ - You can't. - Why?
因为 Because.
说真的 你说什么 我一点都不了解 Okay, seriously, did not understand a word you just said.
- 到走廊去 - 好 - In the hall. - Okay.
- 你想要跟乔伊打情骂俏？ - 是啊 - You wanna fool around with Joey? - Yeah.
自从我做过那个梦之后 我就一直忘不了 Ever since I had that dream about him, I can't get it out of my head.
我是说那又会怎样？很多人都是那样做的 I mean, what's the big deal? People do it all the time.
谁？你认识谁只在打情骂俏的？ Who do you know that are friends that just fool around?
好的 随便想想… 唐跟珍娜 Okay. Off the top of my head... Don and Janet.
- 他们是谁？ - 工作上认识的人 - Who are they? - I know them from work.
- 两个都是吗？ - 不 只有其中一个 - Both of them? - No, just one of them.
哪一个？ Which one?
我不知道 我刚才说了哪些名字呢？ I don't know. What were the names I just said?
瑞秋 事情会变得很复杂的 No, Rachel, things could get incredibly complicated.
好吧 你说的对 我不会对乔伊怎样的 我只是以为… You're right. I won't do anything with Joey. I just thought it...
好的 那就两杯的龙蒿 一磅的苏打粉 还有红洋葱 Okay, so that's two cups of tarragon, a pound of baking soda and a red onion?
你是想要煮什么呢？ What the hell are you cooking?
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
你们不会相信 我今天要做什么样的工作 You guys won't believe what I have to do for work today.
但是罗斯 是你自己选择 要谈论恐龙的工作的 Yes, but, Ross, you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.
有两个教授要加入我的部门 There are these two professors who are joining my department...
而我要在这里跟他们碰面 然后带他们到校园看看 and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.
那怎么会糟糕呢？ What's bad about that?
我只知道他们会是那种老盖仙 I just know they'll be a couple of old windbags...
穿着在手肘的地方 缝上仿尘皮的花呢外套 wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.
罗斯？ Ross?
怎样？这些不是仿麂皮 What? These aren't suede.
不好意思 我在找人 Excuse me. I'm looking for someone.
你认不认识 一个叫做罗斯盖勒的？ You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?
不认识 No.
嗨 我是罗斯盖勒 Hi. Hi, I'm Ross Geller.
- 嗨 我是魏勒教授 - 噢 - Oh, hi. I'm Professor Wheeler. - Oh.
喔 这…这太好了 Oh, that's... That's... That's nice.
很高兴见到你 It's good to meet you.
谢谢你愿意花时间帮我介绍环境 Thank you so much for taking the time to show me around.
不 这一点也不麻烦的 No, it's no big deal.
如果我没有这样做 反正我也只是 在健身房健身而已 If I weren't doing this, I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.
他会介绍我们吗？ Is he gonna introduce us?
我想他现在跟本就看不到我们 I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.
对了 我真的很喜欢你写的… By the way, I really enjoyed your paper...
地域隔绝与快速突变之关系的论文 on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
我一个晚上就写完了 I wrote that in one night.
我赌二十块钱 他们一个月内就会结婚 Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.
那么我们最好走吧 Well, we should probably get going.
我们有很多地方要去 We've got a lot of ground to cover.
不是有另外一位教授要加入我们吗？ Isn't another professor supposed to come with us?
我想应该没有 I don't think so.
我非常确定 是从康乃尔来的史伯夫教授 I'm pretty sure. A Professor Spafford from Cornell?
他可能是迟到了 而我上课的规矩就是 Well, he's obviously late, and the rule in my class is:
如果你不能准时到 那就干脆不要到 If you can't come on time, then don't come at all.
我很多学生 最后都选择后者 An option that many of my students use.
- 我们要走了吗？ - 我们不用等他吗？ - Shall we? - We shouldn't wait for him?
你知道吗？他是个大男孩了 我确定他可以找到我们的 好吗？ You know what, he's a big boy. I'm sure he'll find us, okay?
- 盖勒教授吗？ - 喔 妈的 - Professor Geller? - Oh, damn it!
嗨 乔伊 我是珍罗杰 等不及要参加你今晚的派对了 Hi, it's Jan Rogers. Can't wait for your party tonight.
我忘记你的地址了 可以回电给我吗？谢谢 拜 Listen, I forgot your address. Can you give me a call? Thanks. Bye.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hey! - Hey!
怎么了？ What's happening?
真可惜你没有办法参加 今晚的女人独角戏 It's a real shame you can't make it to that one-woman show tonight.
我也想去 但是我隔天要好早起来 I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day.
- 你知道我的 工作最重要 - 是啊 是啊 - You know me, work comes first. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
嗨 乔伊 我是珍罗杰 等不及参加你今晚的派对了 Hi, it's Jan Rogers. Can't wait for your party tonight.
珍罗杰 你还真蠢 Stupid Jan Rogers!
你今晚要开派对？ You are having a party tonight?
我帮《我们的日子》的人员 办了一个聚会 I'm kind of having a thing for the Days of our Lives people.
而你却不告诉我们？ You weren't gonna tell us?
你以为你可以逃得掉吗？ How did you think you'd get away with that?
我每年都这样做啊 I do it every year.
你每年都这样做？ You do that every year?!
我不需要告诉你的 I didn't have to tell you that!
天啊 我比珍罗杰还愚蠢 God, I'm stupider than Jan Rogers!
所以你就给我们去看舞台剧的票 甩掉我们 That's why you got us tickets to that play, to get rid of us!
是啊 Yeah.
去年你就送我们去那间中古世纪餐厅？ Last year is that why you sent us to that Medieval Times restaurant?
是啊 Yeah.
而前年 你帮我们安排晚上去钮扣工厂之旅？ The year before that, you set up that nighttime tour of that button factory?
我不敢相信那个你们也会去 I can't believe you guys went for that one.
乔伊 你为什么不邀请我们参加你的派对呢？ Why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?
你还好 但是其他人在名人面前 都表现的像傻瓜一样 You're fine, okay? But everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people.
那么 就只邀请我就好了啊 Well, then, so just invite me.
拜托 我只是在说好听话 你是最糟糕的 Please, I was trying to be nice. You're the worst one.
乔伊 别这样 拜托啦 让我参加 我会克制自己 我保证 Joey, come on! Please, please? Let me come. I will behave. I promise.
- 我会克制自己 拜托 - 好啦 你可以参加 - I will behave. Please, please, please. - Okay, fine. You can come.
但是不要告诉其他人 八点钟在屋顶上面 But don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
肥皂剧屋顶派对 A soap-opera roof party?!
我要参加肥皂剧屋顶派对 喔 我的天啊 … I'm going to a soap-opera roof party! Uh, my God! Oh, my God!
好了 发泄完了 And it's out of my system.
然后我老婆跟我搭游轮到加扛巴哥 And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galépagos.
你们不会相信他们的 吃到饱海鲜餐厅有多棒 There was a seafood buffet you wouldn't believe.
有蛤蜊 河蚌还有生蚝 There were clams and mussels and oysters...
还有螃蟹… and cracked crab...
还有花蟹… and snow crab...
还有帝王蟹 and king crab.
真可惜我对带壳类海鲜过敏 It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.
你大学是在哪念的呢？ So where did you get your undergraduate degree?
- 而且我不只对那些过敏 - 喔 还没有结束啊 - And that's not all I'm allergic to. - Oh, it's not over.
我还有对花生跟腰果过敏 I'm also allergic to peanuts and cashews...
还有杏仁果跟榛果… and almonds and filberts...
所以基本上是所有的坚果类 So basically all nuts!
有趣的是 并不尽然 Interestingly, no.
你在说"有趣的是"时说的挺慢的 让人以为就是如此 You're kind of playing it fast and loose with the word "interesting."
不好意思失陪一下 我要去洗手间 If you'll excuse me, I'm going to use the restroom.
喔 我的天啊 Qh, my God!
我已经丧失活下去的意志力了 I've lost the will to live.
- 我们甩了他 - 什么？ - Let's ditch him. - What?
快点 在他还在洗手间的时候 我求求你 While he's still in the bathroom. I am begging you.
好的 但是我有个问题要先问你 Okay. Okay, fine, but I just have one question for you.
我们出去的时候 应该是用走的 跑的… When we exit, should we walk or run...
跳的还是散步出去？ or prance or stroll...?
别说了 他的话说得漫 搞不好尿得很快 我们快走 Stop it! Stop it! He talks slow, but he might pee fast. Okay, let's move!
你们好 这位是查莉 Oh, hey, you guys, this is Charlie.
查莉 这是菲比 还有我妹妹摩妮卡 Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
- 嗨 - 查莉将要加入我们系上 - Hi. - Charlie will be joining my department.
- 你也是古生物学家吗？ - 是的 - You're a paleontologist too? - Yeah.
那好 你对于… Oh, okay. Now, what do you think...
雷诺的分割类人猿物种多样性的新理论 有何评价？ of Renyard's new theory of species variegation in segmented arthropods?
我觉得他有点太前卫了 但是他是有些有趣的观点 I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas.
很抱歉 我要接一下电话 不好意思 Oh, I'm sorry. I have to take this. Excuse me.
雷诺的物种多样性？ Renyard's theory of species variegation?
我在你的咖啡桌上看到一篇文章 我背下了标题想要来吓你 I saw the article on your coffee table. I memorized the title to freak you out.
你们俩个相处的愉快吗？ So did you two have fun?
天啊 她真的是太棒了 Oh, my God. She's great.
我们有许多共同点 她真是太酷了 你知道吗？还很风趣 We have so much in common, and she's just cool, you know? And funny.
而且我不知道你有没有注意到 她还真辣 And I don't know if you've noticed, but she's a hottie!
嘿 Hi!
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
大家听着 我觉得不太舒服… Hi, you guys. Listen, you know what, I'm not feeling really well...
我想我可能不能去看舞台剧表演了 and I don't think I'm gonna get to go to the play.
真的吗？怎么了？ Really? What's wrong?
我不知道 好像蛮严重的 I don't know. I think it's kind of serious.
我今天早上在电视上有看到… You know, I was watching this thing on TV this morning...
什么关于新堡疾病的 我想我可能感染到了 about Newcastle disease, and I think I might have it.
新堡疾病是跟分泌物有关的病毒 Newcastle disease is a secretion-borne virus...
只有鸡或是其他家禽才会被传染到 that only affects chickens and other poultry.
好的 这是谁呢？ Okay, who's this?
抱歉 瑞秋 这位是查莉魏勒 她是我同事 I'm sorry. Rachel, this is Charlie Wheeler. She's a colleague.
嗨 我应该要跟你握手的… Hi. Well, I would shake your hand...
但是我想你不会想要 被传染到我的鸡病 but I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease.
- 瑞秋 我可以跟你谈一下吗？ - 当然 - Rachel, can I see you for a second? - Sure.
你没有生病 You're not sick.
什么？我当然有 What? Yes, I am!
那么为什么你要穿成这样呢？ Okay, then why are you all dressed up?
当你生病的时候 你会做任何事情 来让自己觉得好过一些 When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better.
你只是想要持在家里 对乔伊采取行动 You just want to stay home so you can make a move on Joey.
不是 我听进去了你之前说的话 事情不是这样的 No, I heard you before. That is so not what this is.
好的 那是怎么回事呢？ Okay, then what is this?
好的 Okay.
乔伊帮《我们的日子》在屋顶举行 秘密派对 Joey is having a secret Days of our Lives party up on the roof.
他送你们去看舞台剧来甩掉你们 And he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you.
什么？ What?!
什么？这是怎么回事？ What? What's going on?
乔伊帮《我们的日子》 在屋顶举行秘密派对 Joey is having a secret Days of our Lives party up on the roof!
他不想要让你们知道 但是我还是过来告诉你们了 He didn't want you to know about it, but I came over here to tell you.
- 我以为你是来说你生病的 - 你到底是教授还是侦探 - You came to say you were sick. - All right, professor or detective?
等等 乔伊要开派对 但不邀请我们？ Wait, Joey's having a party, and he wasn't gonna invite us?
他每年都那样做的 这就是为什么他要请我们去看舞台剧 He does it every year. That's why he's sending you to the play.
这就是为什么他请我们去中古世纪餐厅 还有钮扣工厂 That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory.
而有那次糟糕的博物馆之旅吗？ And that horrible museum tour?
不是 那是我安排的 No, I arranged that.
你们好 我要睡了 祝你们玩的愉快 Hey, you guys, I'm turning in. Have fun.
我们知道你的派对了 乔伊 We know about your party, Joey.
- 什么派对？ - 游戏结束了 把睡袍脱掉吧 - What party? - The game's over. Take off your robe.
好的 我是说… Okay, I mean...
不 No!
穿起来 穿起来 Close it up! Close it up!
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you.
嘿 你来了 太好了 Hey, you made it! All right!
很高兴你来了 谢谢你参加 Glad you could make it. Thanks for coming.
- 我的天啊 凯尔罗德 - 嗨 - Oh, my God. Kyle Lowder! - Hi.
我爱你 I love you!
喂 这就是我为什么不想邀请你 你要冷静点 好吗？ Hey. That's why I didn't invite you. You have to calm down, all right?
去喝点饮料什么的 Just get yourself a drink or something.
是啊 你就是要让我的自制力溃堤 Oh, yeah, that's what you want. My inhibitions lowered.
嗨 Hey.
我的天啊 你敢相信我们 被这些人包围着吗？ My God, can you believe we're surrounded by all this?
我几乎控制不了自己 I can barely control myself.
摩妮卡 你该了解到你已经结婚了 You might want to remember that you're married.
钱德呢？ Where is Chandler anyway?
我的天啊 钱德 Oh, my God! Chandler!
大家死哪去了？ Where the hell is everybody?
你为什么不喜欢我？ Why Don '2' You Like Me?
第一章 我的第一次生理期 Chapter 1: My First Period.
嘿 乔伊说不能要签名的 Hey, Joey said no autographs.
但是如果她有 那我也要 But if she's getting one, I want one too!
"给摩妮卡" 而且别写什么 "祝福"之类的 要写"爱" "To Monica." And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love."
事实上 摩妮卡 马修只是给我他的电话 Okay, actually, Mon, Matthew was giving me his phone number.
天啊 如果我知道 我要参加这个派对… Oh, man! lfl had known I was coming to this party...
我就一定不会结婚 I never would've gotten married!
- 很高兴认识你 瑞秋 - 很高兴认识你 - It was nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
- 打电话给我 - 我们会的 - Call me. - We will!
- 瞧瞧你周旋在众多男生之间 - 嗯 - Look at you with all the guys! - Yeah.
我猜你把乔伊都忘光了 I guess you've forgotten Joey.
是的 我想我是忘了乔伊 Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten aboutJoey.
而很明显地 你也忘了钱德 And clearly, you've forgotten about Chandler.
拜托 钱德是我的挚爱 Please. Chandler's the love of my life.
皮裤耶 不会吧 Oh, leather pants! Have mercy!
离开波士顿对你而官 一定很困难吧？ So it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
事实上我很高兴离开那里 我刚分手 Actually, I'm kind of happy to be leaving. I just broke up with someone.
喔 真令人伤心 Oh, so sad.
但是离开哈佛 一定也是不容易 Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard.
尤其是跟诺贝尔得主 亚伯特温麦尔共事过 Especially after working with a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer.
事实上 阿亚就是我分手的人 Actually, Albie is the guy I broke up with.
- 你跟亚伯特温麦尔交征过？ - 是的 - You dated Albert Wintermeyer? - Yeah.
而你叫他"阿亚"？ And you called him "Albie"?
我是说 这就像是叫 亚伯特爱因斯坦… I mean, that's like calling Albert Einstein...
阿亚一样 Albie.
对 他是个很聪明的男人 Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man.
你认为吗？我是说 你跟一个… You think? I mean, you dated the guy...
提升了碳十四的精准测定法的 男人交往 who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10!
是的 而那正是每个人 对男朋友的需求 Yes, and while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend...
他有很多问题 he had a lot of issues.
像是什么呢？ Oh, like what?
很抱歉 我不是要刺探隐私 只是跟… I'm sorry. I don't mean to pry. It's just that this must be...
一般人看《娱乐新闱》 有一样的反应 what regular people experience when they watch Access Hollywood.
好的 你想要知道内慕吗？ Okay, you want the dirt?
阿亚有很严重的没安全感 Albie was seriously insecure.
他对我之前男朋友感到非常地不安 He was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
谁能够威胁到诺贝尔奖得主呢？ Who's intimidating to a guy who won the Nobel Prize?
得过两掴诺贝尔奖的人 A guy who won two.
两个？什么？ Two? What...?
别告诉我你跟班杰明赫伯交拄过？ Don't tell me you dated Benjamin Hobart?
是的 交往了三年 Yeah, for three years.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
你有没有跟没得过 诺贝尔奖的人交往过呢？ Have you ever dated someone who hasn't won the Nobel Prize?
没有 No.
但我的第一个男朋友比利没有 But there was my first boyfriend, Billy.
是吗？他没有得诺贝尔吗？ Oh, yeah? No Nobel Prizes for him?
没有 但是他倒是得过麦克阿瑟的 "天才奖学金" No, but he did just win a MacArthur "genius grant."
真是个窝囊废 What a loser.
要再喝点酒吗？ Some more wine?
嘿 罗斯 跟查莉进行的如何呢？ Hey, Ross. How's it going with Charlie?
很好 在我喝完酒之后… Oh, great. After I finish my wine...
我正常的脑袋会爆炸 I'm gonna blow my average-sized brains out.
怎么了？ What's the matter?
她只跟天才还有诺贝尔奖得主交往 She only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners.
我的天啊 今天稍早在中国餐厅… Oh, my God, at the Chinese restaurant earlier today...
我把筷子放在嘴中假装是长毛象 I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretended to be a woolly mammoth.
我很喜欢那样耶 I always loved that.
当然你会喜欢 你的大脑比我的小 Of course you would! Your brains are smaller than mine!
我不能跟她交往的男人相比 I can't compete with the guys she goes out with.
他们比我好太多了 They're so out of my league.
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
- 还有更糟的吗？ - 比那还糟 - Worse? - Oh, much, much worse.
我还模仿琼瑞薇演出最早的两栖人 I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians.
"我们可以去散步吗？" "Can we walk?"
- 你喜欢吗？ - 不 - Oh, you like that? - No.
怎样？ What?
来吧 我觉得这样很好笑啊 Come on! I think that's funny!
长毛象 Woolly mammoth.
很好笑耶 It's good!
我想你们一定在想现在该中场休息了 是吗？ I bet you're thinking that now would be a great time for an intermission, huh?
是的 上帝 拜托 Oh, yes. God, yes.
你们不会休息的 Well, you're not gonna get one!
因为现实生活是没有中场休息的 Because in life, there are no intermissions, people!
现在开始第七章 离婚是四个字 Now, Chapter 7: Divorce is a Four-Letter Word!
他怎么可以离开我呢？ How could he leave me?!
我不知道 你看起来挺可爱的 I don't know. You seem lovely.
罗斯 这是我同事登克 登克 这是我好朋友罗斯 Ross, this is one of my costars, Dirk. Dirk, this is my good friend Ross.
- 很高兴认识你 - 你是哪出戏的呢？ - Nice to meet you. - So, what show are you on?
我不是演员 我是古生物学教授 I'm not an actor. I'm a professor of paleontology.
- 科学的东东 - 喔 - That's science. - Oh.
嘿 听着 我在 《我们的日子》袒面演的是科学家 Hey, well, listen, I play a scientist on Days.
我的角色刚刚赢得诺贝尔奖 Yeah, my character just won a Nobel Prize.
罗斯 登克想问你带来的那个女生 是不是你的女朋友 Dirk was wondering about the woman you brought and if you two are together?
嗯 不是 不过… Oh. Well, no, but...
她只跟非常 非常聪明的男生交往 I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
嘿 我大学入学考考了六百九十分 Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs.
真是高分啊 I'd lead with that.
好了 就签在胸罩上面就可以了 That's it. Just sign right on the bra.
摩妮卡 Monica!
别担心乔伊 我明年不会来了 Don't worry, Joe. I won't come next year!
是怎样？ What the...?
你那是什么呢？ What do you got there?
只是一些男生给我的电话 Just some boys gave me their phone numbers.
- 真的吗？ - 让我看看 - Oh, really? Let me see. - Oh.
该死 还真多男生呢 Damn, that's a lot of guys.
你是不是有点骚呢？ Are you a little slutty?
没错 I think I am.
让我看看有哪些小丑是够格的 Let me see if I approve of any of these clowns.
- 这个男的戴假发 - 喔… - This guy wears a rug. - Well...
这个男的是加拿大人 This guy's Canadian.
这个男的参加秘密教派 Oh, and this guy is in a cult, okay?
你得花五千块才能升到第三级 但我也没有感觉到有什么不同 It'll cost you $5000 to get to level three, and I don't feel any different.
跳过 哈…喔 跳过 跳过 Pass. Pa... Oh, pass. Pass.
- 为什么？这些男生有什么不好的？ - 没什么特别不好 - Why? What's wrong with these guys? - Well, nothing major.
只是他们全都配不上你 It's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you...
而你应该跟最好的人在一起 and you deserve the best.
乔伊 你真是贴心 Joey, you're so sweet.
那倒是 不过没关系 我已经知道你会跟谁回家了 It's true, but it doesn't matter. I already know who you're going home with.
谁？ Who?
我 Me.
什么？ What?
真的？ Really?
是啊 因为我们住在一起 开玩笑的 开玩笑的 Yeah, because we live together. It's a joke! It's a joke.
是啊 真好笑 我听懂了 Right! That's funny! I get it!
- 吓到你了 - 你真好笑 乔伊 - Got you! - You're funny, Joey.
喔 我的天 Oh, my God.
你喜欢那场舞台剧表演吗？ So how did you enjoy the play?
我的天 亲爱的 我真是抱歉 Oh, my God. Honey, I am so, so, so, so sorry.
没错 You should be.
你错失了戏剧史上最强劲的三个小时 You missed the most powerful three hours in the history of the theater.
- 你真的喜欢吗？ - 对 一开始我是很讨厌的 - You really liked it? - Oh, yeah. I mean, at first I hated it.
我一定会的啊 因为身为男人 我就是被训练成不要聆听的 But why wouldn't I? Because as a man, I've been trained not to listen!
但是在第十六章之后 《肥胖 单身而且准备好要乱搞》 But after Chapter 16: Fat, Single and Ready to Mingle...
我就被鼓舞起来了 I was uplifted.
- 真的吗？ - 是的 - Oh, really? - Oh, yeah.
我根本不晓得 女人的经历过程是这样的神奇 I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman.
告诉我 跟我说你的第一次生理期 Tell me... Tell me about your first period.
不要 No!
有人在你的胸罩上签名吗？ Did somebody sign your bra?
我是十三岁的时候来的 非常难过 So I got it when I was 13. Very difficult.
罗斯 听着 关于你跟那国恐龙女生的事 Hey, Ross? So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl?
你真的就要让几个诺贝尔奖 把你吓走吗？ Are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel Prizes scare you off?
那是怎样？不过是几张论文不是吗？ What is that? Come on, a piece of paper?
事实上是一百万的奖金 It's actually a million-dollar prize.
查莉你真行 Go, Charlie!
但是我的重点是… But my point is...
她是跟他们交往过 不过都分手了啊 okay, so she dated them, but she also broke up with them.
或许她正在寻找一般平凡的博士而已 Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Ph.D.
或许吧 而我的事业正在发展中 Yeah, maybe, and I do have my whole career in front of me.
我是说… I mean...
我还是有可能赢得诺贝尔奖的 I could still win a Nobel Prize.
虽然我上两份论文被广泛地批评过 Although the last two papers I've written were widely discredited.
你不只是聪明而已 你很贴心 很仁慈又很风趣 You're so much more than just brains. You are sweet and kind and funny.
还有性感 And sexy.
好的 给她一个机会见识这全部 Okay, well, give her a chance to see all that.
对 你说的没错 Yeah. Yeah. You're right.
- 谢谢 菲比 我要去找她了 - 太好了 - Thanks. I'm gonna go find her. - Good for you.
还有你关于泥盆纪时期突显均势的论文 是有很精辟见解的 Your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian Era was topnotch.
不要再翻我的东西了 Stop going through my stuff!
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
我只想让你知道 我改变主意了 I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind.
我要做了 我要去亲乔伊 I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna kiss Joey.
不 你不行 朋友乱搞是件坏事 No! You can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea.
拜托 那你跟钱德呢？ Please! What about you and Chandler?
那是不一样的 我喝醉了而且很蠢 That's different. I was drunk and stupid.
那我现在呢？ Well, hello?
那些给你电话的男生呢？ What about all the guys that you got the phone numbers from?
- 你为什么不去亲其中一个 - 我是可以… - Why don't you just kiss one of them. - I could...
但是我不想 我想要亲乔伊 but I don't want to. I want to kiss Joey.
好吧 我认为这样是不对的 但那是你自己的决定 All right. I think it's a big mistake, but it's your decision.
我要去了 I'm gonna do it.
- 而我无法阻止你吗？ - 对 - And I can't stop you? - No.
嘿 瑞秋 你有看到查莉吗？ Hey, Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?
我比他聪明多了 I'm smarter than him!
嘿 谢谢你送我们票 钱德 Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler.
这对我是很重要的经历 而我想跟你们分享 This was a really important experience for me. I wanted to share it with you.
你真是个好人 You're so wonderful.
你为什么不喜欢我？ Why Don '2' You Like Me?
第一章 我的第一次生理期 Chapter 1: My First Period.
我不敢相信你们竟然这么好骗 慢慢享受死刑吧 I can't believe you guys bought that. Enjoy your slow death.