进来 Come in.
我等你很久了 I've been waiting for you.
我只是… Hi, I just...
天啊 摩妮卡 Ah! Oh, my God! Monica!
天啊 Oh, my God!
抱歉抱歉 我… I'm sorry! I was...
我正在睡午觉 I was taking a nap.
你从何时开始用那种怪姿势睡觉？ Since when do you take naps in that position?
摩妮卡 你是在等男人吧？拜托你说是在等男人 Tell me you were waiting for a guy. Please tell me.
没错 我在等男人 Yes, I was. A guy.
餐厅同事 From work.
我最近跟同事约会 I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha!
那个长得像雷李欧塔… That cute waiter guy from your restaurant.
亲切版帅哥服务生？ The one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
就是他 Aha. That one!
我 马上闪人 我只是回来拿件外套 Give me a second. I'll be out of your hair. I'm just going to grab a jacket.
等我回来可要告诉我详情 When I get back, I want every little detail.
他可能来了 Maybe that's him.
好的 好的 Okay, um... Okay, um...
只是乔伊跟罗斯 It's just Joey and Ross.
你们不是去看电影吗？ Why aren't you at the movie?
对啊 可是罗斯讲电话太吵 才被电影院轰出来 We were, but Ross was talking so loud on his phone, they threw us out.
电影太吵 我当然得大声讲 I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!
- 他打电话去伦敦 - 他找到艾蜜莉了？ - He's talking to London. - Did he get in touch with Emily?
还没 但是他打给女方亲戚 No. He's calling everyone on her side of the family...
希望有人愿意帮他 ...hoping someone will help him get in touch with her.
就算我说错名字又如何 你这大惊小怪的笨蛋 I don't care if I said some other girl's name, you prissy old twit!
罗斯 Ross.
你巴结亲戚真有一套 Way to suck up to the family!
真高兴大家都在 我们公司终于买免皱传真纸了 I'm so glad you're all here. My office finally got wrinkle-free fax paper!
- 嘿 - 别过来 那是呕吐西装 - Hey - Oh, no, no! Vomit tux! No, no! Vomit tux!
放心 我送去干洗过了 Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned.
呕吐西装？ Vomit tux?
谁会吐在… Who vomited on...
算了 乔伊 你为何穿成这样？ You know what? What you up to, Joe?
我要上马拉松式电视节目 They're doing this telethon thing on TV.
我的经纪人帮我争取当主持人 And my agent got me a job as co-host!
太棒了 That's great!
帮公视做好事能增加曝光率 A little good deed for PBS, plus some TV exposure.
我乔伊最爱做这种事了 That's the kind of math Joey likes to do.
公视啊 Oh, PBS!
- 公视哪里不对了？ - 他们哪里对？ - What's wrong with PBS? - What's right with them?
你为何不喜欢公视？ Why don't you like PBS?
因为我妈自杀之后 我个人非常难过 Right after my Mom killed herself, I was in this bad place, you know, personally.
所以我想写信给《芝麻街》心情应该会好一点 So I just thought it would make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street.
因为我小时候 总觉得他们很亲切 Because they were so nice when I was a little kid.
结果根本没人回信 No one ever wrote back.
那些布偶根本没有手指 A lot of those Muppets don't have thumbs.
我只收到一个破烂钥匙环 拜托 我那时住在纸箱里耶 All I got was a lousy keychain, and by that time, I was living in a box.
连钥匙都没有 I didn't have keys!
我很遗憾 菲比 I'm sorry, Pheebs.
我只是想做好事 就像你帮忙生小孩 I just wanted to do a good deed, like you did with the babies.
你才不是做善事 只是想上电视 根本就很自私 This isn't a good deed. You just want to get on TV. This is totally selfish.
哇 哇 哇 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
你帮弟弟生小孩又怎么说？ What about you having those babies for your brother?
自私的不是只有我 Talk about selfish!
你胡说什么？ What are you talking about?
你的确是帮忙他们 不过自己心情也很好吧？ It was a nice thing, but it made you feel good, right?
那又如何？ Yeah, so?
因为你做善事心情好 也算是自私的一种 It made you feel good so that makes it selfish.
世界上根本就没有无私的好事 Look, there's no unselfish good deeds. Sorry.
明明就有 有很多行善的人都没有私心 Yes, there are totally good deeds that are selfless!
请你举出一个例子 May I ask for one example?
就是有 例如… Yeah, it's... You know, there's...
我不想说 No, you may not!
因为所有人都很自私 That's because all people are selfish.
你说我自私？ Are you calling me selfish?
你难道不是人？ Are you calling you people?
菲比 很抱歉打破你的美梦 世界上没有无私的善事 Sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist.
好吧？ Okay?
你也知道圣诞老人吧？ And you know the deal on Santa Claus, right?
我一定会找到一件无私的善事 打败你这个邪恶博士 I'm gonna find a selfless good deed. I'm going to beat you, you evil genius!
- 喂 - 罗斯吗？ - Hello? - Hello, Ross?
艾蜜莉 Emily?
天啊 是艾蜜莉 Oh, my God! It's Emily!
大家 是艾蜜莉 It's Emily, everyone! Shh! Shh! Shh!
嗨 Hi.
我打来只是要告诉你 别再骚扰我家人了 再见 I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives. Goodbye.
等一下 就算你挂断 我也会继续打 如果要打给所有英国人 Wait! Okay, okay, you can hang up, but I'll keep calling everyone in England...
才能逼你跟我说话 我也办得到 ...if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me.
真的？你想谈什么？ Really? About what?
你是我太太 我们已经结婚 Look, you're my wife. We're married.
而且我爱你 You know, I love you.
我很想你 I really miss you.
我也很想你 I miss you too.
至少我认为如此 Well, at least I think I do.
她肯跟我说话了 She's talking.
你刚刚 为何提到"圣诞老人"？ When you said "the deal with Santa Claus," you meant?
根本没有这号人物 That he doesn't exist.
这样啊 Right.
钱德 你听说 摩妮卡的地下情人了吗？ Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
知道 她是提起过 Yeah, she might have mentioned him.
我们到底何时 才能认识这个服务生？ So, Mon, when are we going to meet this new, secret waiter man?
他很害羞 现在还没准备认识大家 He's really shy. I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
我想他还没准备好 Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
我不管 我想见他 她说对方床上一级棒 I don't care, I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had.
真的？ Really?
她说过？你说过？ That's what you heard? You said that?
大概吧 I might have said that.
这有什么好笑？ Why is that funny?
因为我很为他高兴 Because I'm very happy for him.
你真是走狗屎运 And you! You lucky dog!
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
艾蜜莉愿意跟我复合 Well, Emily's willing to work on the relationship.
- 太好了 - 好耶 - That's great! - Yes!
她要我去伦敦 In London.
- 什么？ - 她要我搬到伦敦去 - What? - She wants me to move to London.
可是你住在这里 But you live here.
我这是废话 You know that.
你打算怎么办？ What are you gonna do?
只要跟卡萝 苏珊谈谈 I bet if I talked to Carol and Susan...
一定能说服她们带小班搬到伦敦 ...I could convince them to move to London with Ben.
想必你前妻一定乐意搬到国外 I'm sure your ex-wife would be more than happy to move to another country...
帮你挽回新太太 ...so you can patch things up with your new wife.
不是不可能啊 It could happen.
你好 欢迎 幸会 How you doing? Welcome. Good to see you.
这就是你的电话 This'll be your phone.
真好 That's great.
不过应该没有人会打来找我 But I'm not really expecting a lot of calls.
你负责接电话接受捐款 No, you answer it and take pledges.
我是主持人 But I'm the host.
盖瑞卡林才是主持人 你负责接电话 No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phone.
你恐怕搞不清楚状况 我是雷莫瑞医生 You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Ramoray.
你负责这支电话 医生 Well, here's your phone, doctor.
我竟然找不到一件无私的善行 I can't believe I can't find a selfless good deed.
以前我家隔壁有个老头 You know that really old guy that lives next door to me?
我偷溜到他家 帮他打扫前廊的落叶 I snuck over there and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop.
他捉到我之后 强迫我喝西打 吃饼干 But he caught me, and he force-fed me cider and cookies.
可是我却很开心 那个呆子 Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!
或许乔伊说得对 所有好事的出发点都有私心 Maybe Joey's right. Maybe all good deeds are selfish.
我一定要找到一件无私的善行 毕竟我才刚生出三个宝宝 I will find a selfless good deed. Because I just gave birth to three children...
不能让他们在 乔伊有理的世界里长大 ...and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey's right!
摩妮卡 可以问你有关烹饪的问题吗？ Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?
- 当然 - 如果你用炉子烹饪 - Sure. - If you're cooking on the stove...
是否代表你新男友在床上 比理查还厉害？ ...does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
钱德 Chandler.
有吗？ Is he?
我要尊重秘密新男友的隐私 I think I'm going to respect the privacy of my new, secret boyfriend.
为什么？ Why?
如果我是他 If this guy was me...
又知道 自己是你遇到过最棒的情人 ...and it's me who'd learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had...
我一定乐歪了 ...I'd be going like this
好吧 艾蜜莉 All right, Emily.
虽然我很爱你 As much as I love you...
但是我不能丢下小班去伦敦 ...I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.
我知道这很为难你 I understand that would be difficult.
请你考虑搬过来好吗？你本来就打算搬来 Would you consider moving here? You were moving here anyway.
为何不现在就来呢？ Why can't you just do that?
我不知道 只是… I don't know. It's just...
好 好 我知道自己到目前为止 都蠢头蠢脑 Okay, okay, but I know that even though I've been a complete idiot up till now...
但是你还是应该过来 ...you have to come here.
过来嘛 我们才能继续走下去 You have to, so we can work this out together.
好吧 All right.
你刚说好？ All right? Did you just say "all right"?
没错 现在换我是白痴 I did. Now I'm the idiot.
艾蜜莉 太棒了 Emily, that is so great!
会很棒的 It'll be great!
我们就像坠入爱河的白痴 We're going to be like two idiots in love!
罗斯 有件事还是让我很担心 Ross, there's one thing that really scares me still.
- 你尽管说 - 你要知道 - Yes, tell me. - You have to understand...
当天婚礼我在… ...how humiliating it was for me up on that altar...
亲朋好友面前有多丢脸 ...in front of my entire family, all my friends.
我知道 我非常抱歉 I know. I am so sorry.
当我决定原谅你 And then, after deciding to forgive you...
却看到你跟她赶着上飞机 ...seeing you at the airport, catching our plane with her.
这也是我的错 Again, very sorry.
我根本无法与她共处一室 I mean, I can't be in the same room as her.
我光想到你跟她共处一室 就快气坏了 It drives me mad thinking of you being in the same room as her.
艾蜜莉 我跟瑞秋根本没什么 Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me.
好吗？ Okay?
我爱的是你 I love you.
好吧 All right.
我去纽约 我们再试试看 I'll come to New York and we'll try to make this work.
太好了 That is so great!
只要你答应不再见瑞秋 As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.
我就问艾蜜莉愿不愿意来纽约 I asked Emily if she would come to New York.
她答应了 And she said yes.
- 太好了 - 不不不 - Great! - No, no, no.
条件是我不准再见瑞秋 Only if I promise never to see Rachel again.
什么？不成啦 What? You can't...
你怎么说？ What did you tell her?
我说在考虑 I told her I'd have to think about it.
我到底该怎么决定？ I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision?
我这是在问你们 I'm actually asking you!
你不能就此不见瑞秋 Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore.
她是你的好朋友 She's one of your best friends.
但是他也不能不见艾蜜莉 她可是他老婆 But he can't not see Emily, I mean that's his wife!
- 也是 - 对 - That's true! - Yeah, right?
你跟瑞秋从高中就认识 But you've known Rachel since high school and...
不能说不见就不见 you cannot just cut her out of your life.
- 你说得也对 - 的确不行 - That's true! - No, you cannot.
谢谢你们的帮忙 问题一点也没解决 Thanks for the help. Problem solved!
- 喂 - 摩妮卡 - Hello? - Hey, Mon.
乔伊 我们看了一整天电视 你到底何时才会出现？ Oh, hey, Joey. We've been watching all day. When are you gonna be on TV?
我经纪人搞错了 There was kind of a mix-up in my agent's office...
反正我上了电视就有曝光率 ...but I'm still on TV, and that's good exposure.
你没上电视啊 You're not on TV.
好吧 现在呢？ Oh, okay. How about now?
有了 看到他了 Yeah! There he is! There he is!
嗨 纽约 Hello, New York!
问题是这里有整只鸭 不过管他的 Maybe just put the whole duck right in there. Who cares?
- 我先处理鸭腿 - 嗷 嗷 - Now I got the legs. - Aw! Aw!
我说过多少次 不准看烹饪频道 How many times have I told you guys to never watch the cooking channel?
- 嗨 钱德 - 嘿 - Hi, Chandler. - Hey.
我来要回乔伊上次借的烤盘 Listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day.
那是你的？ That was yours?
我们上次用来盛小甲鸟吐出来的虫子 We used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.
威廉索诺玛牌 秋季刊第27页 Williams-Sonoma, fall catalog, page 27.
4到6周后送货到家 Expect it in 4 to 6 weeks.
乔伊今天一整天都不在 Hey. Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day.
整个家里就只有我们两个 We have the whole place to ourselves.
那又如何？ Yeah, so?
或许你想跟最佳情人预约时间约会 Just thought maybe you'd want to book some time with "the best you've ever had."
你知道吗 冠军先生？ You know what, champ?
我自愿放弃 I think I'll pass.
- 为什么？ - 为什么？ - Why? - Why?
什么意思？ What's your point?
公视电视募捐 PBS Telethon.
嗨 乔伊 Hey, Joey.
告诉你 我找到无私的善行了 I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed.
我刚去公园让蜜峰叮我 I went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
什么？这对谁有好处？ What good is that going to do anybody?
这只蜜峰在同伴面前 脸上有光 It helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends.
蜜峰很开心 我却很痛 The bee is happy, and I am definitely not.
蜜峰叮了你它就死了 You know, the bee probably died after he stung you.
可恶 Damn it!
各位 30秒后开始录影 Back on in 30 seconds, people!
抱歉 可以跟你换位子吗？ Excuse me, would you mind switching with me?
甭想 我刚好在镜头里 No way. I'm in the shot, man.
- 拜托 你已经占这位子半天了 - 我在接受捐款 - You've been here all day! - I'm taking pledges.
倒数计时3 2… And we're on three, two...
欢迎收看电视募捐 Welcome back to our fall telethon.
如果各位喜欢《太阳马戏团》 If you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque du Soleil...
以后还想收看同类型节目 方法很简单 ...and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple.
只要打电话捐款 All you have to do is call in and pledge...
并告诉我们的义工 阁下喜欢收看哪类型节目 ...and at that time tell one of our volunteers what type of programming you...
好 Okay.
够了 我无法做决定 这实在太难了 That's it. I cannot make this decision. It is too difficult.
我决定交给命运之神 So I'm just going leave it entirely up to the gods of fate.
神奇8号球？ A Magic 8 Ball?
你开玩笑吧？怎么可以用玩具决定命运？ You can't make this decision with a toy!
这可不是玩具 It's not a toy.
我别无选择 I don't know what else to do!
不是追回老婆 失去好朋友 I either keep my wife and lose one of my best friends...
就是留下朋友 在30岁前离婚两次 ...or I keep my friend and get divorced for the second time before I'm 30.
要是有人有更好的建议 现在就说出来 So if anyone else has a better suggestion, let's hear it.
否则我真的没有办法 大家别害羞 Because I got nothing! Don't be shy.
各种建议都可以 Any suggestion will do.
好吧 Okay, then.
开始了 Here we go.
神奇8号球 Magic 8 Ball...
我是不是不该再见瑞秋？ ...should I never see Rachel again?
"待会再问" "Ask Again Later."
这个答案不够好 Later is not good enough!
"待会再问" "Ask Again Later."
搞屁啊 What the hell?
这东西坏掉了 This is broken! It is broken!
我来看看 Let me see.
钱德今晚会跟女人上床吗？ Will Chandler have sex tonight?
"别太笃定" "Don't Count On lt."
我倒觉得没坏掉 Seems like it works to me.
公视电视募款 PBS Telethon.
嗨 乔伊 Hi, Joey.
嗨 菲比 Hey, Pheebs.
我要捐钱 I'd like to make a pledge.
我想捐200元 I would like to donate $200.
200元？ Two hundred dollars?
你确定？《芝麻街》可是伤你不浅 You sure? After what Sesame Street did to you?
我还是很生气 不过我也知道很多妈妈… I'm still mad at them, but I also know that they bring happiness...
没自杀的小孩很爱看 ...to lots of kids whose moms didn't kill themselves.
你知道的 所以… You know, so...
为了支持这节目 我决定做件好事 不过我自己可不开心 ...by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it.
你看 这就是无私的善行 So there! A selfless good deed.
难道你捐钱没有一点开心？ And you don't feel a little good about donating the money?
难过死了 我本想用那笔钱买只黄金鼠 No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster.
黄金鼠？那种宠物10元就买得到 A hamster? Those things are, like, 10 bucks.
我喜欢那只可没那么便宜 Not the one I had my eye on.
看来今年的募款 已经超过去年总额 It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total.
谢谢各位 Thank you!
打破纪录的捐款是由 我们的义工募捐得 And the pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers.
而且这位还穿得很体面 Oh, boy! And may I say, one of our sharpest dressed volunteers.
这位就是乔伊崔比亚尼 Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
你看 Oh, look!
乔伊上电视了 Joey's on TV!
太棒了 Isn't that great?
我的捐款让乔伊上了电视 这真是让我… My pledge got Joey on TV! That makes me feel so...
糟糕 Oh, no!
好的 Look...
或许我先前太得意了 不过有件事要告诉你 ...maybe I got carried away before, but there's something you gotta know.
如果我表现得很好也是因为你 If I'm the best, it's only because you made me the best.
说下去 Keep talking.
跟你在一起之前 我根本表现平平 I was nothing before you.
你可以打去问我以前那些女友 Call the other girls and ask.
你一定很快就问完了 Which wouldn't take long.
但是我跟你在一起时… But when I'm with you, and we're together...
我的天啊 ...oh, my God!
- 真的？ - 天啊 - Really? - Oh, my God!
如果你不想再跟我上床 我也能体谅 Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again.
不过这决定就不对了 But that would be wrong.
我们太厉害了 We're too good.
不上床实在太可惜 We owe it to sex!
如果真是这样… Well, if we owe it!
天啊 Oh, my!
乔伊何时回来？ When is Joey gonna be home?
我们应该不需要等他 I was kind of hoping we could do this without him.
没关系 手套不用脱 No, no, no! Leave the gloves on.
可是我刚才在清厕所 But I just cleaned the bathroom.
- 那就脱掉吧 - 好 - Yeah, why don't we lose the gloves? - Yeah.
让大家看看谁才是高手 All right. Let's show them how it's done.
好 Okay. Ow!
- 这不包括在内 - 我知道 - That wasn't part of it. - I know.
嗨 你准备好没？我们要迟到了 Hi. You ready? We're going to be late.
- 迟到什么？ - 看电影啊 你没忘吧？ - For what? - For Stella, remember?
史黛扛都快把到男人了 She's getting her groove back in 20 minutes.
我完全忘记了 Yeah, I totally forgot about that.
你不介意我爽约一次吧？我正在等艾蜜莉的电话 Mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily.
没关系 Sure, I guess.
听说你不用去伦敦了 Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay.
事情没那么简单 我们还有很多问题 It's not that easy. There's still a lot of relationship stuff.
例如？ Like what?
就是一些问题 Just stuff.
艾蜜莉对我有些要求 You know, kind of what Emily wants.
你可以告诉我 或许我帮得上忙 Why don't you talk to me about it? Maybe I can help.
不行 你帮不上忙 No, no, you can't help.
我的意思是 这件事你帮不上忙 I mean, I kind of have to do this without your help.
那我… Well, I...
我知道你自己办得到 但是如果你想找人谈谈… I know you can do that too. I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to...
嗨 Hi.
谢了 Thanks.
罗斯 无论艾蜜莉有何要求 Ross, look, whatever this relationship stuff is that Emily wants...
你答应就是了 ...just give it to her.
最重要的是你爱她 The bottom line is that you love her.
她怎么要求 你就怎么做 So just fix whatever she wants fixed.
答应就对了 Just do it.
你总得试试看 不试试以后一定会后悔 You're going to have to try. You'll just hate yourself if you don't.
快接电话啊 我都快被逼疯了 Come on, answer it! It's driving me crazy.
喂 Hello?
亲爱的 Hi, sweetie.
我很好 Good.
对 我有考虑过… Look. Yes, I've been thinking...
你的要求 ...about that thing you wanted me to do...
我办得到 ...and I can do it.
你愿意来纽约吗？ So will you come to New York?
怎么样？ What?
- 以前没试过这招 - 我也没 - Never done that before. - Nope.