前情提要 Previously on...
布里的丈夫有了挫败感 Bree's husband felt rejected.
看到自己的太太以"范德坎普夫人"的称号公著于世 I think it's strange to see my wife billed
我觉得很不舒服 我是以此而出名的 as "Mrs. Van De Kamp." It's how I'm known.
谈谈范德坎普先生吧 Is there a Mr. Van De Kamp?
很抱歉 范德坎普先生已经过世了 No, uh, Mr. Van De Kamp is deceased.
要你提一下我 就这么难吗 Would it have killed you to have mentioned me?
因为我进过监狱 是吗 It's because I went to jail, isn't it?
勒奈特的丈夫非常兴奋 Lynette's husband was excited.
我们要成立一个车库乐队啦 We're gonna start a garage band!
你不是曾说过 I thought you were the one who said you wanted
要把更多的时间放在家庭吗 男人们需要释放一下激情 to spend more time with your family. Guys need to blow off steam.
伊迪的新丈夫有一段往事 你来这里已经6周了 Edie's new husband had a past... You've been here six weeks,
我没发现 你的易怒情绪有所缓解 我的情绪问题早已解决 and you don't seem any closer to coming to terms with your rage. I've come to terms with it,
现在感觉很良好 往事充满着悬疑 and I like it just the way it is. ...Which remained a mystery.
我觉得跟一个你完全不了解的男人结婚 I just think it's odd that you're married to some guy.
是件很奇怪的事情 她不停地询问我关于你的背景 You don't know anything about him. Well, she kept asking me all this stuff about your background.
苏珊开始新的生活 And Susan tried to move on.
我开始与人约会了 不错啊 Well, I sort of started seeing someone. Good for you.
爱伦诺拉.巴特老师每年 Every year, Ms. Elenora butters
都会要求幼儿园的孩子们 would ask her kindergarten class
画一张全家福 to draw a picture of their families
然后在家长会上把画展示出来 which she would then display on "meet the teacher" night.
因此瑞奇曼的父母在画作上 That's how Ty Richmond's parents
看到他们吵架的情景 saw his depiction of their fighting...
而爱米.海因斯的父母 And Amy hines' parents
则看到了他们酗酒的样貌 saw her portrayal of their drinking.
杰森.蒙特的父母 And Jason monte's parents
见到了家里脏乱的情形 saw his illustration of their hygiene.
很显然 巴特老师认为通过孩子的视角 You see, Ms. Butters felt it was important
让家长了解其自己 是相当重要的 for parents to see themselves through their children's eyes.
她见怪不怪了 She knew the experience...
艾德 画里我只戴着胸罩在吸尘 Ed, he's got me vacuuming in my bra.
我有这么做过吗 Do I do that?
这相当有教育意义 Could be very educational.
我知道 对不起 I know, I know.
我难道没说是7点吗 你错过了精彩的表演 Did I not say 7:00? You missed their little show.
M.j.很不高兴 镇上大塞车 M.j. Was tooth decay. Well, crosstown traffic killed me.
我告诉你把它录下来 And I told you to videotape it.
但你没告诉我要把镜头盖取下 Well, did you tell me to take off the lens cap?
拜托下次教详细点 德尔非诺先生 很高兴你来了 Next time, be more specific. Mr. Delfino, glad you made it.
你看了m.j.的画作了吗 Uh, did you get to see M.J.'S artwork?
还没呢 都等不及了 No, not yet. Can't wait. Oh.
哦 你看啊这里 这就是我们 Oh, hey, look at that.
站在我们家门前 There we are, standing in front of the house.
他把我头发画成什么了 Look what he did with my hair.
有所改变也不错 你瞧 我口袋里还有一个扳手 I kind of like the bangs. Yeah, look, he put a wrench in my pocket.
看看我肌肉多丰满 对啊 因为有个小偷正想闯入 And see how big my muscles are? Which is a good thing, 'cause there's a shark attacking the house.
爸爸 Hey, daddy.
儿子 我和你妈妈 Hey, buddy. Your mommy and I
正在欣赏你优秀的作品 were just looking at your wonderful painting.
你喜欢吗 You like it?
很喜欢 尤其把我画得这么壮实 I love it, especially how big and strong you made me look.
那不是你 那是杰克逊 That's not you. That's Jackson.
看到口袋里的油漆刷了吗 See the paintbrush in his pocket?
谁是杰克逊 Oh, who's Jackson?
在我妈妈把他灌醉 He paints our house...
并和他上床之前 他是我们家的油漆工 Until my mom makes him drink wine and have a sleepover.
因为... Uh... Uh... Because...
我和麦克离婚了 因此... Mike and I are divorced, so that's why...
按理这应该是一张全家福的 It was supposed to be a picture of the family,
你应当把你爸爸画进去 so you should've put your daddy in it.
我画了 I did.
哦 是那个...戴着帽子的小人吗 Oh, the... The bug with the little hat?
那就是你 That's you,
因为你总是不在家 'cause you're always so far away.
是的 看来... Oh, yeah, that's, um...
我终于找到我了 Now I see me.
是的...每一年 Yes... every year,
爱伦诺拉.巴特老师每年仍要求学生们 Ms. Elenora butters would ask her class
画一张全家福 to draw a picture of their families,
她知道肖像中的人物 even though she knew the portraits...
是现实生活的真实写照 Might not be that flattering.
如果你仔细观察一下你朋友的面容 If you look closely into the faces of your friends,
你会看到 you'll see it.
嗨 嗨 Hey! Hi!
恭喜你啊 大家好 Congratulations! Hi!
进来吧 Come on in!
在她们的笑容背后 Right behind their smiles,
隐藏着充满嫉妒的神情 you will see a certain green-eyed monster,
然后你会明白 and then you'll understand
对于你的持家有道 她们有多么忌妒 how envious they are of your well-kept home...
你那美味的菜式 Your delicious recipes...
和令人垂涎的财富 And your tasteful possessions.
这是我的烹饪书 Here's my cookbook.
但你必须仔细观察 才能察觉嫉妒 But you'll have to work hard to see the jealousy,
因为好朋友总是努力把嫉妒心隐藏起来 because good friends always work hard to hide it.
你看呀 简直就是封面女郎 Look at you, right on the cover!
这几本是精装版 These are advanced copies.
我要让你们成为第一批读者 I wanted you to be the first to have them.
哦 看哪 你还签上了"致勒奈特 Oh, and look, you signed it... "to Lynette,
我最可爱 最亲密的伙伴" the sweetest, most wonderful friend I've ever known."
"致苏珊 我最可爱 最..." Aw. "To Susan, the sweetest, most..."
我们不用念得这么响 We don't have to read them out loud.
别介意 女士们 Don't mind me, ladies.
我要去岩盐坑上班了 来个告别之吻 祝你工作愉快 I'm just grabbing a kiss on my way to the salt mines. Mmm. Oh. Mmm. You have a good day.
谢谢 宝贝 你把广告给她们看了吗 我差点忘了 Thanks, babe. Oh, did you show them the ad? Yeah. Oh, I almost forgot. Uh, bye.
是不是很棒 Isn't this nice?
他们要在下月的刊登 They're running it next month in "woman's day."
你会出现在杂志上吗 You're gonna be in magazines, too?
他们已经拿出了整套市场开拓计划 They've come up with this whole marketing plan...
广播 出版 签名售书 Radio, print, book signings.
那真是太美妙了 不 这一点都不好玩 Wow! Isn't it fantastic? No, it's horrible!
她将成为著名的作家 She's gonna become this famous author
没空陪我们了 and have no time at all for us.
不会的 加布 布里永远是布里 No, come on, Gaby. You know that Bree will never change.
谢谢 凯瑟琳 Thank you, Katherine.
我绝对不会高傲自满的 I will never become stuck-up and full of myself.
我没那么说 我是指你不会改变的 I didn't say that. I said you'd never change.
真有意思 Very funny.
我觉得你们不用担心我出名的事情 I hardly think you have to worry about me becoming famous.
你都有市场计划了 You have a marketing plan.
想要看看我的卖场计划吗 You wanna see my marketing plan?
"牛奶 面包 伏特加 避孕套" "Milk, bread, vodka, condoms..."
我能看看吗 很想看一下 为什么 Could I see that? I'd love to read it. Why?
我当年做意大利干酪的销售 Well, back before I consecrated my life to mozzarella,
也有整套的市场推广计划 marketing was sort of what I did.
哦 当然 Oh, right! Of course.
我很乐意听取你的意见 I would, uh, love to hear your thoughts.
那么即使你名声远扬 So you're still gonna
依然还会和我们一起聚会的吧 wanna hang out with us, even when you're totally fabulous,
我们还是自己人吧 and we're still nobodies?
女生们 你们说过头了 Girls, you are making way too much of this.
我不见得比你们厉害多少 I am not a bit more fabulous than any one of you.
稍等 Excuse me.
怎么了 安德鲁 What is it, Andrew?
我希望你12号午餐时间暂无安排 I hope you're free for lunch on the 12th,
因为商委会刚提名你 'cause the chamber of commerce
为今年的"年度商业女性" just named you businesswoman of the year.
哦 我的天哪 真是太棒了 Oh, my god! That is so amazing!
干洗店终于找到我的毛衣了 The, uh, dry cleaner just, um... Found my sweater.
姑娘们，晚点再找你们 Girls, catch up with you later!
喂 Hi.
我有个惊人的消息 Orson, I have amazing news.
商委会刚刚打电话来了 哦 说什么了 The chamber of commerce just called. Oh? What about?
我和你一起吃午饭 我们面谈 I wanna buy you lunch and tell you in person.
我2分钟内就到你办公室 I will be at your office in two minutes.
别 别 别来我办公室 Uh, no! No, don't come to my office.
我现在不能吃午饭 我在开会 You know, I can't have lunch now. Um, I'm in a meeting.
那我到前台等你好了 Well, I'll wait in reception until it's over.
不 可能要好几个小时 No, it'll take hours.
是个紧急会议 事关重要 It's a very urgent, high-level stuff.
到底是什么会啊 What kind of meeting is it?
乔治 搞什么啊 George, hey!
把收音机调小一点 Turn that radio down!
你在哪啊 不是告诉你了 我在开会 Where are you? I told you, I'm in a meeting.
我要挂了 I gotta go.
我尽快来见你 I'll see you soon.
是的 的确很快 Yes, you will.
麦克 怎么了 Mike! What's going on?
爸爸给我买了辆自行车 Daddy got me a bike.
是的 我看到了 就在这里 Yes, I see. And here,
我们不是说好了 到过生日才买吗 mommy thought we'd agreed to wait till your birthday.
你能教我怎样骑吗 Crazy mommy. Can you teach me to ride it?
今天不行 我要去修理热水器 No, not today. I gotta go install a water heater.
不过 你可以先练练 But, uh, you keep practicing,
明天下午我有空 and the next afternoon I have free,
我们一起学骑车 轮子飞转 尘土飘扬 如何 好吧 we'll bust off those training wheels and go kick up some dirt. Okay? Okay.
去吧 All right.
哦 我的天哪 Oh, my god.
这都是因为m.j.的画 是不是 This is about M.J.'S drawing, isn't it?
什么 What?
比起杰克逊 他肯定更爱你 He does not love Jackson more than you.
他知道谁才是他父亲 这我知道 He knows who his father is. I know that.
难道给自己孩子买辆小车 就代表心存嫉妒吗 Can't a guy get his kid a bike without being psychoanalyzed?
那对于那幅画 你没事了吧 So you're totally fine with that drawing?
虽然我不会高调地把它贴到冰箱上去 Well, I won't go sticking it on my fridge anytime soon,
但我没事 but yeah.
我很高兴你能和一个好男人约会 Look, I'm glad you're dating a nice guy.
孩子与他彼此能合得来 这点我也很高兴 I'm glad he likes my kid, and my kid likes him.
这只是一辆自行车而已 别无他意 Here's a bike. That's all it is.
你们好啊 Hey, guys.
杰克逊 看看我的新车 Jackson, look at my new bike!
真酷啊 Pretty cool.
这是由钛合金定做的 Uh, that's a custom titanium frame.
让m.j.了解一下 Make sure M.J. Knows that.
温迪，我得知道天气情况 So, Wendy, I gotta know about the weather.
妈妈 贝瑟妮可以回家了吗 Mommy, can Bethany go home now?
宝贝 她才来玩了20分钟而已 Honey, she's only been here 20 minutes.
我们本来就是邀请她来玩的 好好玩去 We invited her over to play, so go play.
但她只会玩转圈 But all she does is spin.
...在这个州范围内 ...Somewhat across the reach of the state,
温度会降下来几度 knocking temperatures down I would say a few degrees...
宝贝 我们要让贝瑟妮成为我们的朋友 Honey, we want Bethany to be our friend,
要是她喜欢转圈 那就跟她学学一起转 so if she wants to spin, just suck it up and spin.
你干嘛非要让胡安妮塔跟这个小怪人一起玩 Why are you shoving that little weirdo down Juanita's throat?
这个小怪人是能否让你我做爱的关键所在 That little weirdo is the key to you and I having more sex.
这点我喜欢 但到底是为什么 I know I should ask a few questions, but I'm in.
贝瑟妮的妈妈每周都会举行小朋友聚会 Bethany's mom hosts a weekly playdate.
我要试着让胡安妮塔也获得邀请 I'm trying to get Juanita an invitation.
这和我跟你做爱又有什么关系 How does that lead to quality time with your boobs?
卡洛斯 我和你只有晚间有时间 Carlos, the only time you and I have to ourselves
但那时候 你我都精疲力竭了 is late at night, but by that time, we're too exhausted.
现在每天下午都有未上学的西利娅要照顾 And now that we have Celia in afternoon preschool,
所以我们必须这样做才能摆脱胡安妮塔 all we have to do is unload Juanita,
这样才能回来好好做爱 and then we can get back to doing the nasty.
这样会不会不太好 This doesn't seem right.
把我们自己的孩子扔给别的女人 I mean, dumping our kid off on some unsuspecting woman
这样我们才能做爱 so that we can have sex?
你醒醒吧 妈妈们发明儿童聚会 Wake up! Playdates were invented by mothers
目的就是为了这个 for this exact purpose.
购物 做爱 在下午喝酒 Shopping, sex, drinking in the afternoon...
只有儿童聚会才能实现这些 Playdates make all these things possible.
我...不知道 I-I don't know.
强迫我们孩子跟她不喜欢的人一起玩 I feel bad making my kid play with someone
让我觉得很糟糕 that she obviously doesn't like.
贝瑟妮的妈妈可以每周把胡安妮塔带走2个小时 Bethany's mom will take Juanita once a week for two whole hours.
正好可以做爱加小睡 That is sex and a nap.
胡安妮塔 Juanita!
我听不到你转圈的声音 I don't hear you spinning!
我不明白 你说过你的工作一帆风顺 I don't understand. You said the job was going so well.
本来是很顺利 三周前 It was. Then three weeks ago,
我的假释官在我工作时留了个口信 my parole officer left me a message at work.
就在那时他们发现我申请工作时撒了谎 That's when they found out I lied on my application
我申请时说我没有案底 when I said I didn't have a criminal record.
所以你这三周都在假装工作 So you've been pretending to go to work for three weeks?
我知道你怒火中烧 I know you're angry.
亲爱的 我没有动怒 Honey... I'm not angry.
你不想把这些告诉我 我很难受 I'm hurt that you didn't feel like you could tell me.
我感觉很困窘 I was embarrassed.
布里 我们结婚时 是我养家糊口 Bree, when we married, I was the breadwinner.
现在你开了自己的公司 也出了书 Now you... you have your company and you have your book.
我是个连饭碗也保不住的重罪犯 I-I'm a felon who can't hold on to a job.
奥森 我们是伙伴 我们共有一切 Orson, we're partners. We share everything.
我所取得的任何成就 Any success I have
和你的分量相同 is just as much yours as it is mine.
谢谢你 亲爱的 Thank you, darling.
那么 So...
商会打电话来干什么 Why did the chamber of commerce call?
很明显 我们被提名为今年的商界女强人 Apparently, we've been named businesswoman of the year.
是不是很棒 Is that good enough?!
你会成为我们乐队的杀手锏 Yah! Whoo! Wow! You'd be killer in our band.
他肯定会成为杀手锏 不是吗 大卫 I mean, wouldn't he be killer, Dave?
唐纳德 何不让我们商量一下呢 Uh, Donald, why don't you let us talk it over,
我们回头会找你 没问题 and we'll get back to you? No problem.
反正我要去上班 I have to get back to the office anyway.
每季度一到交税 我就忙得不可开交 我们今天肯定会给你打电话 Quarterly tax time has got me swamped. Well, we'll... we'll definitely call you today.
谢谢 先生们 Thanks, gentlemen.
你不觉得他棒极了吗 Don't you think he crushed it?
技术上讲 他表现得不错 He was good... You know, technically.
他没有用心投入 什么意思 He didn't really have heart. What do you mean?
他演奏巫毒小子时 就像是亨德里克斯附身 When he played "voodoo child," it was like Hendrix has risen.
迈克怎么样 他才是我们要找的人 Hey, what about Mike? I thought that's who we were gonna get.
我问过他 但他说他最近很忙 Well, I asked, but he said he's too busy.
忙得不会生活了吗 这可不是借口 Too busy to live a little? Not gonna fly.
打电话给他 把我号码给他 我来说 好吧 当然 Call him. Give him my number. I'll talk to him. Okay, sure. But...
可唐纳德怎么样 but what about Donald?
我是说 要是迈克来不了 我想确保 I mean, 'cause if we don't get Mike, I wanna make s...
汤姆 唐纳德出局了 好吗 Tom, Donald's out, all right?
让麦克给我打电话 Have Mike call me.
好一场排练啊 Whoo! What a rehearsal.
大卫和我都冒烟了 Dave and I were smokin'.
你听到我们的声音了吗 Did you hear us?
勒奈特 Lynette?
勒奈特 Lynette.
很抱歉 你说什么 I'm sorry. What?
没事了 Never mind.
你在干嘛 这是布里的广告吗 What are you working on? What, is this Bree's ad stuff?
不 帮她办事的人实在太逊了 Oh, god, no. Her agency really whiffed... Hmm?
所以我在策划一个新的推广计划 So I'm coming up with a whole new campaign.
我在查一些我以前的资料 I was looking through my old portfolio
找点灵感 for inspiration. Mm-hmm.
我记得这个 Oh! I remember this one.
脚 见见你最好的新朋友吧 真是经典啊 "Feet? Meet your new best friends." It was a classic.
我已经好几年没有翻阅这些东西了 You know, it's been years since I looked through this stuff.
我都忘了我曾如此辉煌 I'd forgotten I was... Kinda great.
你当时棒极了 You were awesome!
拜托 布里多幸运啊 I mean, come on. How lucky is Bree
能有个前广告巨头当邻居 to have a neighbor that used to be a big advertising hotshot?
或许我才是那个幸运儿 Well, maybe I'm the lucky one.
可能这是个绝好的机会 This could be a perfect way for me
让我能重操旧业 to stick my toe back in the business.
没什么大不了 可能只从事些自由职业的工作 Nothing big, maybe just pick up some freelance work.
亲爱的 你要这样 哪有时间 But, honey, if you do that, where you gonna find the time
照顾家庭和餐馆呢 天 我不知道 for the family and the restaurant? Well, gee, I don't know.
你不也有时间组建车库乐队吗 I guess the same place that you find time for your garage band.
勒奈特 我只是说你要是 Lynette, I'm just saying that if... if you...
好啦 我把西利娅送去幼儿园了 Okay, I dropped off Celia at preschool,
胡安妮塔在她玩伴家里 and Juanita's at her playdate.
脱裤子 Drop trou.
你何不穿上那条性感的红色连衣裤呢 Why don't you put on that sexy red Teddy?
我能问为什么吗 你根本看不见 Can I ask why? I mean, you can't see it.
是啊 可我感觉得到 Yeah, but I can feel it,
我喜欢丝绸从你身上滑落下来的感觉 and I love the sensation of sliding silk off your body.
感觉怎么样 卡洛斯 Oh. What's it like, Carlos?
什么 What?
作为一个盲人的性爱 Sex as a blind man.
我是说 你以前能看得见 I mean, you used to be so visual.
感觉还像以前那么好吗 Is it still as good?
更胜一筹 Oh, it's better.
我是说 不得不依靠 I mean, having to rely on
你的触觉 味觉 和嗅觉 your senses of touch and taste and smell...
实际上更激情四射 It's actually way more intense.
真的吗 你真幸运 Really? You're so lucky.
什么 你想体会盲人性爱吗 What, you want blind sex?
我可以给你安排啊 I think I can arrange that.
你在啊 Hey there.
看起来某人的面试很成功啊 Looks like somebody's job interview went well.
错啦 他们直截了当拒绝了我 Nope. They turned me down flat.
但我开车回家时 突然灵机一动 Aw. But as I was driving home, it suddenly hit me.
可能这镇上的每家公司都不欢迎我 I may be persona non grata at every company in this town,
但至少有一个雇主 but there's at least one employer I know
愿意雇用我 who would love to hire me.
谁啊 Oh. Who?
你 You.
你想在这里工作吗 You wanna work here?
为什么不 Why not?
我对食物很在行 了解商业运作方式 I'm great with food. I understand business.
而且也不计较酬劳 I can't beat the commute.
这个想法看似很有意思 Well, that's certainly an intriguing notion.
但我做你的上司不是很尴尬吗 But wouldn't it be awkward having me as your boss?
当然 Absolutely.
但你在公园也说了 But as you said in the park,
我们共享一切 we share everything.
所以我不仅仅是个搭档 So I would be more of a... partner.
搭档 Partners? Oh.
布里 你过来帮忙一下好吗 Well... Bree, would you give me a hand with this arrangement?
等我一会儿 Just give me a sec.
百合花需要用自己的花瓶装 I think the lilies need their own vase.
如果你雇他 我会把你剪成破布的 If you hire him, I will cut you with these scissors!
我们不需要这么做 I don't think we need to do that.
他们要把鸢尾花挤出去 I think they're crowding the irises out.
就像他在把我排挤出去一样 Just like he's trying to crowd me out.
你已经有个搭档了 记得吗 You already have a partner, remember?
鸢尾花和百合花 Oh, well, I think the irises and the lilies
可以一起工作 不 必须放弃一个 could work together. Nope. One of them has to go.
如果我能给点意见 现在不是时候 奥森 If I may offer an opinion... Not a good time, Orson.
马上告诉他 Tell him now,
要不我走 or I will walk.
奥森 你实在不会想和我共事 Orson, you really don't wanna work with me.
你只看得见我在家的样子 I mean, you only see me at home.
但是工作时 我在压力下难以控制自己情绪 But at work, when the pressure's on, I can be a bit of a handful.
凯瑟琳知道我的德行 泼辣 暴躁 恼人 Katherine's seen how I get. Oh, yes. Bitchy, tyrannical, shrill...
够了 亲爱的 He gets it, dear.
亲爱的 你是我一生的伙伴 Honey, you're my partner in life.
但我们要保持美满的婚姻 But if we want to keep it that way,
我们不该混淆婚姻和事业 we shouldn't mix marriage and business.
但没人肯聘用我 But no one else will hire me.
你找工作才花了几周时间而已 Well, you've only been looking for a few weeks.
再花些时间 比方说 一两个月 I mean, give it another... Say, month or two,
如果你还一无所获 and if you still haven't found anything,
我们一定会从新考虑 好吗 then we'll revisit the idea. Okay?
好吧 Okay.
我只是想想而已 It was just a thought.
你觉得怎样 Oh! Oh, so what'd you think?
我的天 你说的没错 Oh, my god, you were right.
盲人性爱太不可思议了 Blind sex is incredible.
再给我十分钟和一个能量条 Ahh, give me ten more minutes and an energy bar,
我们还能再干一场 and we can go one more time.
不 到此为止 No, I think we're done. What?
亲爱的 Honey!
你在家里干什么 我以为你在贝瑟妮家呢 What are you doing home? I thought you were at Bethany's.
我胃疼 她妈妈就把我送回来了 I got a tummyache. Her mom brought me back.
你站在那里多久了 Oh. Well, how long have you been standing there?
不知道 你们俩刚才在干嘛 I don't know. What were you two doing?
我们在 Um, we were, uh...
我们在扭打 扭打 We were wrestling. Wrestling.
爸爸弄疼你了吗 你刚才叫得好大声 Did daddy hurt you? You were making loud noises.
不 不 那不是真的 No! No, that wasn't real.
有时我和你爸爸扭打的时候就这么装 Sometimes I fake it when I wrestle with daddy.
请别和妈妈扭打 Please don't wrestle with mommy.
你块头太大了 会弄疼她 You're too big. You could hurt her.
是的 卡洛斯 别再那样了 Yeah, Carlos, stop that.
好的 回你房间去 Okay, go to your room,
我去给你拿点胃药 and I'm gonna bring you something for your tummy.
她应该当真了 I think she bought it.
你是说爸爸毒打妈妈的谎话吗 You mean the story of how daddy beats up mommy?
别紧张 我说了我没事 我听得出她很担心 Relax. I told her I was fine. Look, I could hear the worry in her voice.
我们为什么不干脆告诉她真相 Why don't we just tell her the truth?
什么 有时妈妈骑在爸爸身上 What, that sometimes mommy rides daddy
就像骑着机器牛去抢珠宝吗 like a mechanical bull to get jewelry?
她才5岁 根本不可能明白 这是性的基本知识 She's 5. She's too young to understand either half of that. It's the facts of life.
她终究会了解 She's gonna learn 'em eventually,
这是世上最自然而然的事 and it's the most natural thing in the world.
卡洛斯 要是她刚才多站5分钟 Carlos, if she was standing there any longer than five minutes,
她看到的就不仅仅是自然了 there was nothing natural about what she saw.
此外 谢谢你那样 By the way, thank you for that.
喂 Hello?
是我 听着 Hey, it's me. Listen,
我正好有时间 I've got some free time,
我想过去 so I thought I'd come over
教M.J.骑他的新车 太棒了 他迫不及待呢 and teach M.J. How to ride his new bike. Great. He's so excited to learn.
你确定他不需要护轮就能骑了吗 Are you sure he's ready to go without training wheels?
他可能还得要摔上几跤呢 Oh, he'll probably have to take a few spills,
幸运的是 他有老爸扶他起来 but luckily, he'll have his old man there to pick him up.
是的 他一直在问你什么时候来 Yeah. He's been asking when you're coming.
我等不及要告诉他 我知道他会... I can't wait to tell him. I know he'll be just...
好吧 All right!
怎么了 Aah! What's the matter?
蜘蛛 好大一只 我得走了 Spider. Big one. Gotta go!
妈妈 看 没有用护轮 Mommy, look, no training wheels.
我知道 做得好 I know! You did great!
杰克逊 借一步说话 Jackson, can I see you a sec?
真是不可思议 他学车突飞猛进 That was amazing! He learned so fast.
这我看出来了 但问题是迈克正赶过来 Yeah. You know what I learned? Mike is on his way over here
教他儿子怎样骑他买的车 to teach his son how to ride the bike he bought...
他期盼已久的事被你毁于一旦 Something he was looking forward to until you ruined it.
你为什么没告诉我 W-Why didn't you tell me that?
我怎么知道我还有义务告诉你 别抢走一个爸爸的宝贵时光 I didn't know I had to tell you not to steal a father's precious moment.
M.J. 他不停地求我 一定要我教他 M.j... he just kept asking me. He... he made me do it.
你可以置之不理啊 You could've walked away.
不 我不能 No, I couldn't!
他说 "求你了" He said, "pwease!"
该死 Damn it.
很明显 这幅图画好象 As you can see, the graphic works just as well
在一个独立的版面上 很优雅 on a free-standing display unit. Neat, huh?
天呐 勒奈特 Goodness, Lynette.
当时你提出要对我的推广活动出点主意 When you offered to share your thoughts on my campaign,
我没有想到会制作得如此...精美 I wasn't expecting anything quite so... elaborate.
谁知道你的推销员都那么差劲 Well, who knew your marketing guys were such lame-os?
他们的想法都太...无趣了 What they came up with is so... Tepid.
我想他们是在追求"朴素" Um, I think "understated" was what they were going for.
但朴素过头 就会造成"乏味" Well, they overshot and wound up in "bland,"
近乎濒临"烂" right on the border of "sucky."
你要抓住你的受众 要夺人眼球 You need to grab your audience, just grab 'em.
我使用的颜色相当"奔放" I've gone for jazzier colors,
你看这加粗的字 bolder fonts.
我的宣传卖点就是"怀旧" Oh, I have really played up the whole nostalgia angle.
让范德坎普太太 "Let Mrs. Van De Kamp
带你进入时间机器 turn your oven into a time machine."
我想只要是女性肯定会赞同 I see women really responding to that.
能么 Do you?
可我看到孩子们 Because I see children
爬到炉子里 希望能看到恐龙 crawling into ovens, hoping to see dinosaurs.
我预备了很多备用方案 Oh. Okay. Well... I've got a whole bunch of alternatives.
勒奈特 你做的每件事我都很欣赏 Oh, Lynette, I appreciate everything you've done.
但我必须要让这次活动被公众认可 But I've actually approved the old campaign,
我不能告诉他们我改主意了 and I can't just tell them I've changed my mind.
你没必要 我才是那个坏事的人 You don't have to. I'll be the bad guy.
告诉他们你雇了我 Just tell 'em you've hired me,
我会去那 跟他们理论 and I'll go in there, six-guns ablazing.
那么 咱们达成一致了么 So... do we have a deal?
说一声就行 Just give me the word.
没有 No.
没有 No?
对不起 我更喜欢他们构思的计划 Sorry, but I prefer their campaign.
但是我的更好 But mine is better.
你的... 貌似还不错 但我觉得不行 Well, you're... entitled to think so, but I don't.
布里... Look, Bree...
我认为我在营销上比你略胜一筹 I think I know a little more about marketing than you do.
我刚进这行的时候 整个镇都惟我所属 When I was in it, I owned this town.
各大帐目都是我管理的 I had every big account.
我甚至是"年度商业女性" Hell, I was even named businesswoman of the year.
我很熟悉那个奖 Oh. Well, I'm familiar with that award.
事实上 我是今年的获奖者 In fact, I'm this year's recipient.
真的 是的 Really? Yes.
12号有一个午宴 你一定要过来 There's a luncheon on the 12th. I do hope you can make it. Oh.
顺便说一下 Mwah! By the way,
你选的那些颜色很棒 you're right about those colors.
非常..."奔放" Very... jazzy.
来吧 m.j. 你爸爸等你呢 Come on, M.J. Your daddy's waiting.
妈妈 我不想摔倒 Mommy, I don't wanna fall.
宝贝儿 Oh, honey.
你记得每次坐电梯 You know how you like to push the button
你总爱玩按钮吗 when we go on the elevator,
如果有人先按下 你就会难过 但是 我不想摔倒 and if somebody else pushes it first, it makes you sad? But I don't wanna fall.
听着 爸爸特别想 Just listen. Daddy really wanted to be the one
亲自教你骑车 如果你会骑了 to teach you to ride your bike, and if you can already do it,
这才会让他难过呢 it's gonna make him sad.
就让爸爸去按那个按钮吧 明白么 So just let daddy push the button. Understand? Oh, man.
他骑的真快啊 Wow, he's really picking it up fast.
我想是初学者有好运 Yeah. I think it's just beginner's luck. Uh-huh.
你确定他没练习过么 没 他真的是在等你 Are you sure he hasn't been practicing? No. He was absolutely waiting for you.
我得去检查下他的头盔 You know, I think I'm gonna go check his helmet.
你在干什么 我们说好的 What are you doing? We talked about this.
你本该像个新手的 我不想摔倒 我害怕 You're supposed to be new at it. I don't want to fall. I'm scared.
怕什么 你离地才3英寸 Oh! Of what? You're 3 inches off the ground.
而且全身都是护垫 就照我说的做 You're completely padded. So just do what I say...
先假装摇晃 ""爸爸 看我" 然后摔倒 Wobble, wobble. "Daddy, look at me!" Crash.
他刚跟我说 爸爸在这看他真开心 Boy... He was just telling me how glad he is to have his dad here.
真的么 我觉得他根本不需要我 你别犯傻 Really? 'Cause I almost feel like he doesn't even need me. Oh, that's just silly.
哎呦 怎么啦 幸好你爸爸在这 Oh! Whoops-a-Daisy! Oh, it's a good thing your dad's here
教你怎么骑 to teach you how to do it right.
看着还不错 但是记住 Oh, looking good, buddy, but remember,
当你要停的时候 先把脚放下来 when you stop, you gotta put your foot down first.
是伤在这里了吗 他没事 Okay? Ow! Oh, what, does that hurt right there, buddy? Oh, he's fine.
不 妈妈 我伤着了 No, mommy. It hurts.
这都是我的错 你别这么说了 This is all my fault. Oh, will you stop?
医生说只是扭伤 The doctor said it was just a sprain.
我知道 我不该让他自己骑的 I know, but still, I shouldn't have pushed it.
为什么要自责呢 小孩经常摔交 You know, why look for blame? Kids fall.
非要怪罪 就怪人行道好了 别怪你自己 If you have to find fault, blame the pavement, not yourself...
或者是我 Or me.
妈妈 Mommy!
他扭伤的胳膊很快就会好 He should have his pitching arm back in no time.
谢谢 但我仍要问一下 m.j.说他故意摔的 Oh, thank you. But I did wanna ask... M.J. Said that he fell on purpose,
是关于你们跟他说的 something about you telling him
让爸爸去按那个电梯的按钮 to "let daddy push the elevator button"?
你让他故意摔倒 You told him to fall?
记着 你该冲人行道发火 Remember, it's the pavement you're mad at.
怎么回事 苏珊 你为什么要那么做 What the hell, Susan? Why would you do something like that?
是杰克逊教他骑的车 Jackson taught him to ride the bike.
杰克逊 Jackson.
谁是杰克逊 Who's Jackson?
他和妈妈过夜 He does sleepovers with mommy.
他们喝了好多酒 They drink lots of wine.
医生 你是不是该拿棒棒糖 去哄哄小孩 Hey, doc. Uh, don't you hand out lollipops to brave little boys?
抱歉 m.j.看到自行车太兴奋了 I'm sorry. M.J. Was excited about the bike,
所以杰克逊卸下了护轮 so Jackson took off the training wheels
就教他了 他不知道 and taught him. He didn't know.
他不知道我才是那个 He didn't know I'd wanna be the one
该教我儿子骑车的人吧 我跟你讲 to teach my own kid how to ride a bike? Okay, you know what?
这不是杰克逊的错 This is not Jackson's fault.
你不该给一个5岁的孩子自行车 You can't give a 5-year-old a bike
然后期望他等你有时间再骑 and expect him to wait to ride it until you have time.
离婚就是这样 You know, this is what it means to be divorced.
有时候你不能到场 It means that sometimes you won't be there.
我知道 I know. It's...
太难了 Just harder
比我预料的更难 than I thought it would be.
对我来说也很难 Well, it's hard for me, too.
我怀念他和你在一起的时光 I miss things when he's with you.
而且我 And I...
努力去面对我的过错 因为 Am trying to come to terms with my guilt, because...
我必须这么做 I have to.
你也一样 So do you.
除此之外 你什么都做不了 There's nothing else you can do.
麦克打电话来了么 Has Mike called?
亲爱的 你回来啦 Hi, honey. You're home.
对不起 亲爱的 Sorry, hon.
他打过电话么 Hi. So did he call?
没有 No.
看看这个 Hey, listen to this.
哈德孙太太出售她家的房子 Mrs. Hudson's putting her house up for sale.
我想我们应该买下来 I think we should buy it.
为什么 Why?
作为一种投资 这很不错 As an investment. I-I mean, it's fantastic.
我朋友玛丽·艾莉丝在这里饮弹自尽 My friend Mary Alice blew her brains out in this house,
我可以无意地说出那个秘密 and all I'd have to do is let that slip,
那多好玩啊 我不这么想 and we'd get it for a song. Yeah. I don't think so.
为什么不 我们把它租出去 Well, why not? We'll rent it out.
我们可以正经地赚钱 我可不想做房主 We could make some serious money. Last thing I wanna be is a landlord,
每次厕所进水 电话吵个不停 get a phone call every time a toilet overflows.
所以我们才雇佣物业公司 该死 伊迪 我说了不行 That's why we hire a management company... damn it, Edie, I said no!
你冲我喊什么 Why are you yelling at me?
我不知道 I don't know.
抱歉 我最近太心烦了 I'm sorry. I just got a lot on my mind.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
贝瑟妮 Hi, Bethany.
我来接胡安妮塔的 她在吗 I'm here to pick up Juanita. Is she around?
男孩子有精液 Boys have sperm.
你说什么 Excuse me?
我们需要谈谈 We need to talk.
很显然 在我们和胡安妮塔谈过之后 So apparently, after we had our little chat with Juanita,
她直接去贝瑟妮家了 she went straight to Bethany
转述了生活上那些痛苦的细节 and passed on the facts of life in excruciating detail.
你向佩吉解释我们那个谈话了么 Well, did you explain to Peggy why we had the little chat?
她不想听 She didn't wanna hear it,
而且还不止 贝瑟妮满屋子跑 not with Bethany running around the house,
嘶声裂肺的大喊 "性交" screaming "intercourse!" At the top of her lungs.
小孩的聚会没戏了 是的 出局了 So we're out of the playdate? Oh, yeah. Way out.
我觉得该执行老计划了 Well, I guess it's back to the old schedule
在午夜打鼾的时候10分钟搞定 of ten minutes of grope 'n snore at midnight.
我不想回到以前 卡洛斯 我办不到 I'm not going back, Carlos. I can't.
如果胡安妮塔找不回她的玩伴 If Juanita doesn't get her playdate,
你也别想有欢娱 好吧 我知道了 you're not getting yours. Fine. I will fix it.
我不知道为什么 I just don't know why.
佩吉要对此事大动干戈 Peggy's making such a big deal out of this.
精液 Sperm!
胡安妮塔 不许跟你妹妹说 Juanita! Stop talking to your sister!
奥森 你在客房干吗呢 Orson, what are you doing in the guest bedroom?
我睡不着 Oh, I couldn't sleep.
你打鼾声音太响了 You were snoring too loudly.
我 打鼾 Me? Snoring?
像一只伤风了的猴子 Mm, like a donkey with a head cold.
亲爱的 我不打鼾的 Honey, I don't snore.
你自己也听不到 Oh, you can't always hear yourself.
但是我能听到 But I hear you...
很大声 很清晰 Loud and clear.
我的天 回去睡觉吧 Oh, for heaven sakes, come back to bed.
不 No.
我在这挺好 I'm good here.
大卫.威廉姆斯 Hey, Mike. Dave Williams.
很抱歉打扰你 Look, hate to bother you,
我房子外面的管道裂了 but I got a busted pipe outside the house.
可能是小孩子搞得恶作剧 没问题 Probably some kids playing a prank. No problem.
我正在别的镇工作 I'm across town finishing up on another job.
看交通情况吧 给我一个小时 谢谢 So depending on traffic, give me... say an hour? Oh, thanks.
不胜感激 I really appreciate it.
当胡安妮塔觉得我是在伤害她妈妈时 So when Juanita thought that I might be hurting her mother,
我们决定最好让她知道真相 we decided it was best that she knew the truth.
就像在那个时候刚好做了那事 It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
看到没 亲爱的 See, honey?
我就知道他们有合理解释的 I-I knew there had to be a rational explanation.
我猜在那种情况下 Well... I guess under the circumstances,
你们没有别的选择 you didn't have any other choice.
那胡安妮塔有没有机会 So... do you think there's any chance
再加入聚会呢 我们已经跟她说了 Juanita could rejoin your playdate? We've talked to her.
她以后再也不会讨论性了 She will never discuss sex ever again.
不然她最喜欢的娃娃肯定会遭殃 Not if she wants to see her favorite Dolly alive.
加布 我们不必让他们知道 Gaby, we don't need to let them know
我们夫妻间的所有秘密 all of our parenting secrets.
我想没事了 I... think that'd be okay.
我可能是反应过激了 I probably overreacted.
我们只想尽可能地维持贝瑟妮的天真 We just wanna keep Bethany's innocence as long as we can.
我们完全同意 Oh, we totally agree.
孩子们最近成熟得太快了 没错 Kids are forced to grow up way too fast these days. No kidding.
我尽可能让我女儿相信圣诞老人 I want my girls to believe in Santa claus as long as possible.
她们很快会发现这是个十足的谎言 They're gonna find out soon enough that it's all a lie.
什么 What?
没有圣诞老人 There's no Santa claus?!
下次聚会是定在周一1:00吗 So... Next playdate's Monday at 1:00?
谁干的 都能出名了 Wow, whoever did this really went to town.
是啊 我也知道 该死的孩子 Yeah, I know. Damn kids.
顺便说一句 By the way,
有没有再考虑一下 加入乐队 did you put any more thought into joining the band?
抱歉 我很想加入 Oh, man. I'm sorry. I've been meaning to get back to you.
真的很感激你们找我 I appreciate the offer,
但最近真的忙坏了 but I'm really stretched thin these days.
好吧 谁都有听听小曲的时间的 Oh, come on. Every man's got time for a little music.
相信我 我很乐意跟你们一起玩玩 Believe me, I'd love to play with you guys,
但是 我在路上就能耽误1小时 but, uh, I live 30 minutes away... an hour in traffic.
留给我儿子的就没多长时间了 我理解 Whatever time I've got left's for my son. Yeah, I hear ya.
你想过搬到近一点的地方住吗 Hey, you ever look into living a little closer by?
但附近的租金太贵了 With the rent prices in this neighborhood?
我吉他是弹得像个明星 I might play guitar like a rock star,
但没有明星那么有钱 对不起 but I don't earn like one. Yeah. Sorry.
我说话不经大脑 没关系 I wasn't thinking. Oh, it's all right.
谢谢你 你有心了 Uh, appreciate you trying to help.
相信我 我希望我能帮忙 Believe me, I wish I could do more.
从没见过布里那么高兴 闪闪发光 I've never seen Bree so happy. She's glowing.
等广告商糟蹋了她的书 她就不发光 勒奈特 She won't be glowing when that agency sinks her book. Lynette...
告诉你 那个广告宣传糟糕透顶 I'm telling you, the only thing staler than that ad campaign
这面包圈和宣传一样糟 宣传做得和水一样平淡无奇 is this dinner roll. Yeah, and the water was as flat as the ad campaign.
和你的马蒂尼酒一样枯燥乏味 看开点 Your Martini was as dry as the ad campaign. Let it go.
大家好 开心吗 你好 Hi, everybody! You having a good time? Hi!
你好 美人 Hey, beautiful!
这是斯图 Um, this is... stu!
勒奈特·斯加沃 我就猜是你 你好 Lynette Scavo. I thought that might be you. Hey!
你好 Hey.
大家 这是我以前的助理 Everyone, this is my old assistant,
斯图 呃 都伯 stu, um... durber. Durber.
他人非常的好 Hey! Well, this was one great guy.
以前会跑遍整个镇 He would schlep all the way across town
帮我买中国菜 just to get me my Chinese food.
那么 你现在做什么 So... What are you up to?
事实上 斯图的公司负责我的宣传 Actually, stu's company is doing all my advertising.
你的公司 你开了家公司 Your company? You have a company?
已经三年了 Three years now. Huh.
你呢 你还在波特&摩非公司吗 How about you? Are you still at, uh, parcher & Murphy?
不 我 现在也是自己创业 No, I... also went into business for myself.
她店里的披萨是镇上一流的 Her place makes the best pizza in town.
你开了披萨店 You own a pizzeria?
应该说是我丈夫开的 Well, it's really my husband's.
我算是自由职业者 And I'm still doing some freelance stuff.
太棒了 我们总是要加班 Well, that's great. You know, we're always working late. Mm-hmm. Oh.
给我你的名片 我们可以向你们定披萨 Give me your card. We'll order from you some night. Oh.
你知道 我们在镇的另一边 You know, of course, we're across town,
所以可能要跑跑腿 so it may be a bit of a schlep. Oh!
很高兴能叙叙旧 勒奈特 当然 It was great catching up, Lynette. Yeah.
布里 我介绍你认识一些人 Bree, let me introduce you to some people. Yeah, mm. Great.
我美丽的老婆在这里 There's my beautiful wife.
你在忙什么 What are you up to?
为什么问我 想找理由吼我吗 Why? Looking for a reason to scream at me?
你说的对 我那天太过分了 You're right. I was awful the other day.
为了补偿你 How about I make it up to you
我买下哈德森太太的房子怎么样 by buying you Mrs. Hudson's house?
真的吗 我考虑过了 我觉得 Seriously? Well, I thought about it, and I agree.
这的确是个好的投资机会 It's a good investment opportunity.
谢谢你 Oh! Thank you!
谢谢你 谢谢你 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Thank you. Thank you.
我保证 我们会收到很高的租金 And I promise that we'll rent that place out for top dollar.
我倒不担心这个 Oh, I'm not worried about that.
但是我想帮别人一个忙 But first... I want to do someone a favor.
你好 Hi.
你在哪 都两点多了 Where are you? It's after 2:00.
我在准备面试 I'm getting ready for my job interview.
面试4点才开始 Oh, that's not until 4:00.
我在看公司的年度报告 I'm reading the company's annual reports.
需要充分准备 I want to be prepared.
亲爱的 很多人都问起你 Oh, honey. Everybody's asking about you.
我想你在这 今天对我很重要 I want you to be here. It's my big day.
好好享受 你应得的 Well... Enjoy it. You've earned it.
知道这东西多好吃吗 再来点 Ooh! You know what this tastes like? More.
似乎 It would seem
有人对自己的旧部下爬到自己头上来 somebody's taking their designated driver position...
过于在意 斯图 A little lightly. Stu?
斯图负责布里的宣传 Stu is doing Bree's ad campaign?
我坐过他的车 I rode in his hatchback once.
车里味道烂透了 It smelled like mu sh...
我必须警告她 等等 亲爱的 I gotta warn her. Oh, wait! No, honey.
庆功宴结束再说吧 Why don't you wait till after the ceremony?
是呀 等到你酒醒了以后 Yeah, just until you can blink both eyes at the same time.
朋友们 我只是给她提点意见 Guys, I am just gonna offer her a little advice. Geesh.
还在等你上菜呢 Oh! Whoop. Still waiting.
网络的最大优点就是 The great thing about the Internet is that
用最小的投资 你能向固定的目标群体 with a minimal investment, you actually can reach
做宣传 优惠券 all your specific target audience... coupons.
优惠券 Coupons?
和一些大型食物公司 Do a cross-promotion with some of the major food companies.
合作促销 降低20%的售价 Knock off 20%
销售你书上的美食 on some of the items featured in your recipes,
如果购买你的书 then they do the same
也降低20%的售价 towards the purchase of your cookbook.
根据我们最近的调查报告 Yeah, our research shows, you know,
人们对这些噱头并不感兴趣 住嘴 斯图 people aren't so hot on gimmicks... zip it, stewie.
我们走开一下 Would you excuse us, please?
勒奈特 你醉了 Lynette, you're drunk.
那不重要 Yeah, that's immaterial.
你觉得优惠券怎么样 What do you think of the coupons?
勒奈特 我现在不想讨论这个 Lynette, I am really not able to deal with that right now.
我知道 Oh. I know.
你出了书 还得了奖 You've got your book and... and your big fancy award,
我只是个家庭主妇 and I'm just a housewife.
我没这么想 I never said that.
当我叱咤风云 You know, when I had a high-powered career,
而你只是家庭主妇的时候 我没小看过你 and you were just a housewife, I never looked down on you.
大家请就座 If you could all please take your seats,
颁奖时间到了 it's time to present our award.
你现在得走了 You need to leave now.
好 别担心 Fine. And don't worry.
不管我多想 我都不会闹场的 Even though I'd like to, I'm not gonna make some big, ugly scene.
你好 Hi.
我给MJ买了自行车 Hey. I, um, I bought M.J. Some stilts,
我现在准备教他骑 thought I'd teach him how to use 'em.
事实上 他和胡安妮塔在看DVD Har har. Uh, actually, he's at Juanita's watching a DVD.
我去叫他吧 不 不用了 Do you want me to call him?
我只是想告诉他我搬家了 No. No, it's cool. I just wanted to tell him about my new place.
你又搬家了 You're moving again?
这次搬多远 How far are you gonna be away now?
哈德森的房子 是的 她卖掉了 The Hudson house? Yeah, she sold it.
伊迪说新房东要出租 And Edie told me the new owner wants to rent it,
现在我有机会 so now I'll have a fighting chance
在MJ身边 看着他成长 of being around when M.J. Hits his milestones.
你没意见吧 Is this okay with you?
这太棒了 Yeah. It's great.
我们就像一个离了婚大家庭 Uh, we'll be like... One big, happy, divorced family.
你确定 You sure?
有点奇怪 It's a little weird.
但是MJ会很开心 I... I but, you know, M.J. Will be thrilled, and...
所以我也没问题 Yeah, I'm fine with it.
好 Good.
那么 回头见 邻居 So, um... I'll see you around, neighbor.
我还是觉得很奇怪 I still think it's strange
为什么不告诉迈克 我们是新房东 you won't let me tell Mike that we're the new owners.
他是个自尊心很强的人 Well, the man's got a lot of pride.
我想让他把我当成邻居 而不是房东 I want him to feel like I'm his neighbor, not his landlord.
房东 见鬼 那么点房租 Landlord? Hell, with the rent we're charging him,
你简直就是他的神仙教母 you're his fairy godmother.
你可以想想好人有好报 见它的鬼去 All right, consider it an investment in good Karma. Screw Karma.
我好不容易做了件好事 I finally do something nice in this neighborhood,
却不能告诉别人 and I can't even brag about it?
做了好事而不张扬的人 The man who is silent in his good deeds
才是最大的赢家 is the man who reaps the greatest reward.
你好 你好 Hey. Hi.
给我点提示 So... Give me some guidance.
我要不要跪下 送花 还是该搬家 Do I grovel, send flowers, or... Just move?
我没有生你的气 I'm not angry with you.
我只是很抱歉让你 I'm just sorry that you felt so...
喝醉 妒忌 Drunk? Jealous?
我没什么值得你妒忌的 You have nothing to be jealous of.
别这么说 Don't give me that.
你目前的成功 You are having the kind of success
是我做广告的时候梦寐以求的 I only dreamed of back in my ad days.
但这不代表我小看你 But that doesn't mean I look down on you.
不 但你的成功 让我自形惭愧 No. But watching you, I look down on me.
当我拿着你的书 When I held your book in my hands,
我妒忌到胃绞痛 I felt so jealous my stomach hurt.
然后我就想 如果我能搭下顺风车 And I thought, if I could just hitch a ride,
分享一下成功 have a piece of it,
也许我就不会那么妒忌 I wouldn't feel so bad about your success.
看在上帝的份上 勒奈特 别再说我成功 For god sakes, Lynette, stop calling me a success.
我根本就一事无成 There's nothing successful about me.
我的朋友觉怀疑我抛弃她们 My friends think I'm gonna drop them,
我的搭档嘲笑我 my partner resents me,
我的丈夫 and my husband...
已搬去客房睡了 Has moved into the guest bedroom.
成功的代价太沉重了 Everything I gain comes at some horrible price,
我甚至想 是不是值得 and I'm starting to wonder if any of it's even worth it.
当然值得 It is.
你正踏上这不可思议的旅程 You're at the start of an incredible journey,
我会一直在沿途 and I am going to be there every step of the way,
帮你打气加油 cheering you on,
告诉每一个人 telling anyone who will listen
那个布里·范德坎普是我的朋友 that the Bree Van De Kamp is my friend.
谢谢 Thanks.
至于其他的事情 And the rest of the stuff...
会有办法解决的 You'll find a way to fix it.
要知道你所有的朋友都以你为傲 Just know that all your friends are very proud of you.
一点点妒忌 但是更骄傲 Bitterly jealous, but proud.
如果你细心地观察 周围朋友的面孔 If you look closely into the faces of those around you,
你会看到她们 you will catch a glimpse
内心深处的红眼之魔 of a certain green-eyed monster.
妒忌你的事业 And then you'll see they envy your career...
你的爱情 Your love life...
你和他们的孩子共度的时光 The time you spend with their child...
如何应付这些妒忌 How do you deal with such jealousy?
有许多的方式 There are many ways.
但最好的 But the best...
就是分享你的成功 Is to simply share what you have.
谢谢 Thank you.
嗯 Mmm.
答应我 别再到别的地方去睡了 Promise me you'll never leave our bed again.
我答应你 I promise...
搭档 Partner.