好吧 让我们做一个练习 All right, let's do an exercise.
你可以在压缩的世界里构建任何你想要的东西 You can build anything in the world you want with your compression.
那会是什么 What's it gonna be?
三 二 一 快说 Three, two, one, go.
一个全新的互联网 A-- A new internet.
什么 为什么 What? Why?
《硅谷》前情提要
我是你的主要投资人 你必须给我相应的尊重 I am your lead investor. You will respect me as such.
我不尊重你 因为你又肥又没钱 I do not respect you because you are fat and poor.
你的意思是说 我的算法最完美的用途 So, you're telling me that the perfect application of my algorithm
竟然他妈的属于盖文·贝尔森 belongs to Gavin fucking Belson?
我们需要他的专利 他的资金 We need his patent and his funding.
最终 这个会使每一台服务器都过时 Eventually, this will render every server obsolete.
我去 Holy shit.
欢迎来到未来 盖文 Welcome to the future, Gavin.
-不 不 -你这个混蛋 - Oh, no. - Son of a bitch!
我已经和主要出资人谈过成立新基金公司了 I have spoken to our top LPs to start a new firm.
你乐意和我一起跳槽吗 Would you care to jump ship with me?
毕竟你也算是 我最好的朋友了 You are, after all, my best friend.
什么 What?
天知道盖文浪到哪里去寻找自我了 Gavin just fucked off to go find himself, who knows where.
-是什么 -是专利 - What is it? - It's the patent.
他签字把专利全部转给了我 He just signed over full ownership to me.
外面有人吵着见你 There's a loud man here to see you.
-到昌都啦 -你他妈在逗我吗 - Qamdo in the house! - Are you fucking kidding me?
我朋友想在这里待一会儿
这笔钱能让他待多久
欢迎回家 恭喜你夺回了自己的公司 Welcome home and congratulations on getting your business back.
谢谢 我也想恭喜你 你做出了重大突破 Thank you, and I should congratulate you on your breakthrough.
我能帮你取得你想要的未来 I can help you get where you wanna go.
我很清楚我的理想和实现途径 I'm pretty sure I know where I wanna go, and how to get there.
我很期待以后的对抗 I shall look forward to the fight.
我的天 他点的金子吗 Jesus, what the hell did he order?
不 不 不 不 停下来 停下来 No! No, no, no, no. Stop! Stop it, stop it.
办公室出租
我的天 Oh my God.
这就是我们的新办公室 These are our new offices?
对 这只是大厅 Yeah. Well, this is just the lobby.
我们在二楼 但没错 We're up there on the second floor, but yup.
这太棒了 These are so nice.
那还有壁炉 There's a fireplace.
我就是沉迷于直观厨房布局的傻瓜 I am a sucker for an intuitive kitchen layout.
跟我来在楼上 相信我 你们一定会喜欢 Follow me, right up here. Trust me, you're gonna love it.
很难相信你那病态般的犹豫不决 It's hard to believe your pathological inability
竟然歪打正着了 to make a decision finally paid off.
理查德 干得好 Richard, well done.
老兄 看看这地方 Dude! Look at this place, huh?
我喜欢这儿 Oh, I love it.
那这些人什么时候搬出去 So, when do these guys move out?
哦不 这不是我们的办公区 Oh, no, this isn't our space.
我们续租的地方要穿过这里 Our sublease is straight through here.
好的 Okay.
欢迎大家来打'魔笛手'的新家 I welcome you to Pied Piper's new home.
这里 这里好白 It's-- it's very white.
对 极简主义 对吧 Yeah, it's minimalist, you know?
锋利而简洁的线条 Sharp, clean lines.
我在想把我的桌子摆在这个角落 I was thinking about maybe putting my desk here in this corner.
贾里德 你坐在这 怎么样 Jared, you over here, right?
迪尼希 吉尔弗约尔靠墙坐 或是坐那边 Dinesh, Gilfoyle, maybe up against this wall or over there.
你知道 就在这里走走 You know, just take a minute, walk around the space,
看看哪里最对你们胃口 see where the mojo takes you.
这里的风水很好 I mean, we've got some good feng shui in here.
可是相当不错 Really good.
理查德 现计划是再雇佣十五名程序员 Richard, the plan was to hire 15 coders
还有几名助理 还有其他员工 and some assistants and-- and other staff.
他们到时候要坐哪 Where exactly would we put them?
简单 就坐这儿 Easy. Right around here.
听着大家 这价格 Look, guys... the price
真是低到不合理 is unbelievable.
我很高兴我们抢在别人前面租下了它 I'm just happy that we got to it when we did before anyone else.
我郑重提议 I-- I emphatically vote
我们现在就把这事定了 如果我们都同意 that we move on this now, if we all agree.
我们确实都同意 对吧 I mean, we do agree, right?
我不知道怎么委婉地告诉你 所以 I cannot put this delicately, so--
你他妈跟我开玩笑吗 Are you fucking kidding me, dude?
你想让我们在这里工作 You want us to work in here?
这他妈就是小黑屋啊 理查德 This is a fucking black site, Richard!
小黑屋其实更好 A black site would actually be better,
这样至少我们就受《日内瓦公约》保护了 because at least we'd be protected by the Geneva Convention.
我他妈眼睛受不了了 我能出去吗 This is fucking with my eyes. Can I get outta here?
好吧 等下 Okay, ha-- hang on.
理查德 我能跟你谈谈吗 Richard, can I talk to you for one second,
-拜托了 私下谈 -好啊 - please, privately? - Sure.
看到没 超多插座 See? Plenty of outlets.
理查德 你在做什么 Richard... what are you doing?
我们可以轻松负担起带窗子的地方 We can easily afford a place with windows
有空气流通 and... air
这样你起码能保持时间和空间的感觉 where you can maintain a connection to time and space.
如果我们把那钱投进去 就没了 If-- if we spend all that money, it's gone.
好吧 你不记得杰克·巴克 Okay, don't you remember Jack Barker
把我们所有的钱都浪费在租豪华办公室上 squandering all our runway for those fancy offices
或是罗斯·汉纳曼把我们的每一分钱都他妈 or Russ Hanneman spending nearly every cent we had
用来出周边了 on fucking swag?
抱歉伙计 我们不会有第二次机会 I'm sorry, man, we do not get another chance.
仅此一博 This is it.
你们没必要说悄悄话 There is no point whispering.
在这牢房里你们说的每一句我们都他妈能听见 We can hear every fucking word you say in this sweatbox.
我能听到你咽口水 理查德 I can hear you gulping, Richard.
你才听不到 No, you can't.
理查德 我相信 Richard, it is my firm opinion
如果我们租下这地方 that if we were to take this space,
我们的新员工将不会在编程 our new hires wouldn't be coding,
而是会恐慌发作 they would be having panic attacks.
-不 别这么说 -我一直努力压抑自己 - No, come on. - I'm doing a really good job of hiding it,
但我现在其实正在发作 but I'm having one right now.
我他妈得离开这里 I gotta get the fuck outta here.
-贾里德 你没事吧 -我不会回来的 - Jared, you okay? - I will not be back.
等下伙计们 贾里德 我去给你拿点水 Wait, guys, hold on. Jared, I'm gonna get you some water, okay?
硅谷 第五季第一集
好吧 那这个人呢 克里斯·伯杰 Okay, what about this guy, Chris Berger?
他是个技术很棒得工程师 He's a very skilled engineer.
我们面试他时他很风趣 我觉得他很合适 He was very funny when we met with him. I think he'd be great.
他有点高得离谱了 你觉得呢 He was oddly tall, don't you think?
没错 拒了 Yeah, pass.
好吧 那布雷克·姜呢 Alright, what about Blake Kang?
他的胡子长得像头发 His beard hair looked like head hair.
他的头发又长得像胡子 And his head hair looked like beard hair.
拜托 这他妈都一个月了 Come on! It's been a fucking month.
我给大家租了这贵到炸得办公室 I got us these expensive-ass offices
就因为你们喜欢 because you wanted them,
而现在却一直闲置着 没人用 and now they're just sitting here, empty,
就因为你们谁都不喜欢 because you guys won't agree on anyone.
听着 我今晚在那傻逼创新名人堂的活动上 Look, I'm going to be seeing Laurie Bream
会见到劳里·布里姆 at this stupid Innovation Hall of Fame event tonight,
而她会问起我们雇人的情况 and she's gonna ask how hiring is going.
她怀孕十一个月了 脾气超级大 She's 11 months pregnant and highly irritable.
我要告诉她什么 What am I going to tell her?
我们一直在游手好闲吗 That we've just been dicking around the whole time?
-我们没游手好闲 -是吗 - We're not dicking around. - Really?
这是什么 What about this?
太有创意了 Touché.
他发给了我们专业头像 我们别无选择 He sent in a professional headshot. We had no choice.
而且他的脸看起来像感染了 Plus his face looks like a taint.
好吧 那行 Okay, yeah, fair.
但听着 But look,
我给你们发了63个不错的人选 I sent you 63 good people.
我听你们的 不要穿苏格兰短裙的人 I spared you kilt guy,
公开秀白皮优越感的人 openly alt-right guy,
明显是隐藏白皮优越感的人 obviously closeted alt-right guy,
还有那个做蠢爆了的比萨应用程序的人 and the guy with the stupid fucking pizza app.
太逊了 不知怎么地会让你恨比萨 It was so lame, it would somehow make you hate pizza.
-你们必须得选 -老兄 你说起来容易 - You have to choose. - Dude, it's easy for you to say.
你就要享受CEO的待遇了 参加豪华晚宴 You're gonna be off CEO'ing, going to fancy galas.
我们才是不得不 We're the ones who have to like
跟这些小丑们一起待在在机房里的人 be in the engine room with these clowns.
他们必须满足我们严格的标准 They have to meet our rigorous standards.
我是说 看看我们已经聘用了的那三个人 I mean, look at the three we've already hired.
-就看看他们 -他们就在那 - Just look at them. - There they are.
仙人下凡 Stallions.
每个人都青出于蓝而胜于蓝 Each one more magnificent than the last.
完美 Perfect.
是 显然他们好极了 Yeah, they're glorious, obviously,
但只有三个人 but that's only three of them,
他们正在这儿奢侈地享受这个巨他妈大的宫殿 and they're luxuriating here in this huge fucking palace
这个地方我们花了一大笔钱租的 that is costing us a fortune,
所以赶紧的 好好看看这些程序员的资料 so hurry up and pick these fucking coders,
别再表现得像个宠坏了的百万富翁 and stop acting like a couple of spoiled millionaires.
好吧 理查德 Alright, Richard,
你去晚宴穿的燕尾服熨好了 your tuxedo is pressed and ready for the gala.
我在熨斗的蒸汽里加了一点薄荷 I put a touch of mint in the steamer.
你看起来会像是《风月俏佳人》的理查·基尔 You're gonna look like Richard Gere from "Pretty Woman."
或许今晚你会爱上一个光芒四射的性工作者 Maybe tonight you'll fall for a radiant sex worker.
创新名人堂授予盖文·贝尔森荣誉
在我从'互利'离职休假期间 During my sabbatical from Hooli,
我游览世界奇迹 从人类最伟大的成就中 I toured the wonders of the world, seeking inspiration
寻找灵感 from mankind's greatest achievements--
帕台农神殿 吴哥窟 the Parthenon, Angkor Wat,
吉萨大金字塔 the Great Pyramid of Giza.
但是直到我飞回家的航班上 But it wasn't until my flight home
我才顿悟 that I had my epiphany.
是的 每年有成千上万的人参观这些奇迹 Yes, those wonders are visited by thousands of people every year,
但是每分钟有两百四十万人 but 2.4 million people
访问互利搜索 visit HooliSearch every minute.
天啊 真他妈是个混蛋 God, what a fucking douchebag.
然后我就想到了 And then it occurred to me.
我所建造的东西是远比任何一个古代世界 What I have built is a far greater achievement,
都更伟大的成就 than any of the ancient world.
理想中的我自己 And the ideal version of myself
正是我已经成为的那个人 was the man I already was.
谢谢 Thank you.
理查德 理查德·亨德里克斯 Richard? Richard Hendricks.
对 你好 邓肯 Okay. Yeah, hi, Duncan. Yeah.
我跟我的小伙伴们还讨论起你和你的比萨程序 Me and my guys were just talking about you and your pizza app.
是嘛 我信 Oh yeah. I bet.
我们的算法帮你找到最便宜最快速的比萨 Our algorithm finds you the cheapest, fastest pizza,
它棒极了 and it's-- it's awesome.
-它真的棒极了 -肯定是 - Yeah. It's actually so awesome... - Definitely.
天啊 我得 得撤回我的简历了 that-- oh man, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna have to pull my resume.
你要撤回你的 Oh, you're pulling your--
-不会吧 -我就是觉得它不像牙价网那样 - Oh no. - Yeah, I just don't feel as psyched about it
-让我感到兴奋 -牙价网 - as I do about Sliceline. - Sliceline?
那是你应用程序的名字 That's the name of your app?
-是啊 -我的天 - Yeah. - Oh God.
-很好 -一语双关 - Great. - Yeah, it's a pun.
-是吗 -是啊 像比价网一样押韵 - Is it? - Yeah. It rhymes with Priceline.
好吧 就只是押韵 好吧 Okay. Just-- so, it rhymes? Okay.
是的 是个押韵的双关语 Yeah. It's a rhyming pun.
不管怎样 这儿可能有一些 Anyway, there might be some
大的风投 我得去混个脸熟了 major VCs around here, so I gotta go mingle.
-好的 -这是这工作最糟的部分 对吧 - Okay. - It's the-- it's the worst part of this job. Am I right?
我开玩笑呢 这是这工作最棒的部分 I'm kidding. It's the best part of the job.
好吧 Okay.
真是个傻逼 What an asshole.
-理查德 -盖文 你好 - Richard. - Gavin, hello.
你穿着你最好的衣服看起来真可爱 Don't you look cute in your Sunday best?
那个小兔子互联网的事怎么样了 How's that little bunny Internet going?
新互联网 新的 New Internet. New.
不像你那旧互联网 Unlike your old Internet.
我很高兴碰到你了 理查德 You know, I'm glad I ran into you, Richard.
事实上我对我今天做的事开始觉得不好了 I was actually starting to feel bad about what I did today.
那是什么事 Oh? And what was that?
发明金属氧化物半导体场效应晶体管 Invent the MOSFET transistor?
那是一项古老的技术 跟你一样非常古老 It's old technology. It's very old, like you.
不是 我听说你在试着招人 No. I've heard that you're trying to staff up.
在过去几个月中 Over the past few months,
你差不多跟硅谷每一个分布式系统 you've met with just about every distributed systems
开发员都见过了 developer in the Valley.
好吧 不是每一个人 Okay, well, not everyone.
他们中的63人 到今天下午四点半为止 63 of them, and as of 4:30 p.m. this afternoon,
我聘用了他们 所有63人 I hired them, all 63 of them.
是 我不得不多花钱 但你知道吗 Yeah, I had to pay through the nose, but you know what?
那副表情 就你脸上的那副表情 That look, right there, on your face
让每一分钱都花得值了 It makes it worth every penny.
好好享受晚宴 理查德 You know what? Enjoy the reception, Richard.
你也是 You too.
他不是在虚张声势 Yeah, he wasn't bluffing.
他聘用了他们所有人 He hired all of them.
甚至是我的宝贝布雷克·姜 Even my boy Blake Kang?
他挺不错的 He was a good one.
不好意思 你的宝贝 I'm sorry, uh, your boy?
我以为他的头发长反了 I thought his hair was backwards?
你们对他不冷不热的 You guys were lukewarm on him
其他人你们不喜欢也都是因为各种愚蠢的原因 and everybody else for all kinds of stupid reasons.
现在他们都来不了了 Well, now that they're unavailable,
他们的长处更显而易见了 their strengths are more readily apparent.
我不想指责谁 And I don't want to point fingers,
但如果你没让吉尔弗约尔和我 but we wouldn't be here
浪费这么多时间挑三拣四 我们不至于如此 if you hadn't let Gilfoyle and me waste so much time being picky.
什么 我等不及想要加快进程 What? I was dying to move faster.
我只是尊重你们的流程 I was just respecting your process.
我们的流程烂爆了 Our process sucks.
你放任我们堕落 Your inability to stop us from sucking
正是你作为领导者无能的表现 is a failure of leadership.
至少我们还有好似仙人下凡的小哥哥小姐姐们 At least we still have the stallions.
对 那些只有天上有的人们 Ah. Those stallions.
看看他们 太仙了 Look at 'em. Magnificent.
坐下吧 回到座位上去 Sit back down. Just sit in your chairs.
贾里德 Jared, um...
打给白皮优越男古龙香水男还有其他拒掉的人 call alt-right guy and cologne boy and all the other rejects,
叫他们再来面个试 and... set meetings.
我稍微深入了解了下白皮优越男 Well, I did a little digging on the alt-right guy,
他比较积极地参与了消除黑人表情包的活动 and he's pretty involved in a campaign to eliminate black emojis,
但我们应该有其他的选择 but there might be another option.
你还记得吉拉·皮克福德吗 Do you remember Kira Pickford?
对 记得 很棒的程序员 Yes, actually. Yeah, good coder,
但她有自己的公司了 but she had her own company.
没错 只是她的公司爆绘文字 Well, that's true, except that her company, Optimoji,
刚刚丢掉了第二轮投资 just lost their second round of funding,
所以他们基本上只是勉强度日 so they're basically on life support.
所以呢 So?
所以 如果我们不组建新的团队 So, what if, instead of building a team,
而是收购一支团队呢 we acquired one?
但爆绘文字有三十名员工 我们只要十二个 But Optimoji has 30 people. We only need 12.
我们只需要让她炒掉另外十八个 Well, we'll just insist that she let the other 18 go.
我们筹码很多 理查德是个精明的谈判家 We have a lot of leverage. Richard is a shrewd negotiator,
而我 你懂的 非常生猛 and I'm, you know, spirited.
听着 吉拉 我们的条件很合理 Look, Kira, this is a fair offer.
但 我手下有三十名出色的员工 But... I've got 30 great guys.
我们就像个大家庭 We're like family,
而你只想要我带十二个人 and you only wanna bring along 12?
我必须做出对我的团队最有利的选择 I have to do what's right by my guys.
我明白这种感觉 Look, I know what it's like
觉得你只能拯救你一半的家人 to only be able to rescue half your family,
这感觉糟透了 但你有什么办法呢 and it's awful, but what can you do? Shh, shh.
-有时你只能 -贾里德 好了别说了 - Sometimes there's only one... - Jared, okay, stop.
听着吉拉 不会有人提出比我们更好的条款 Um, look, Kira, you're not gonna find a better deal than that.
你的公司几乎要破产 Your company is close to bankruptcy
我们都知道这城里最不缺的 and we all know that there are a lotta coders out there
就是程序员 in this old town,
我们可以招任何人 and we could go to any of 'em,
但我们更看重你们 所以... but we wanna go to you, so...
好像筹码都在我们手上 对吗 kinda feels like we've got all the cards here, huh?
理查德 你一直在跟踪我 Richard. You keep following me,
我要报警了 I'm gonna call the cops.
开个玩笑 I'm just kidding.
-你好 我叫邓肯 -我叫吉拉 - Hey, I'm Duncan. - Hey. Kira.
猜猜哪家公司刚拿到A轮投资意向书 Hey, guess what company just got his Series "A" Term Sheet? Huh?
是牙价网 Oh, the Sliceline.
-恭喜你们 -我们正在疯狂招人 - Congrats, yeah. - Yeah, we're staffing up like crazy.
说到招人 你丢掉的那些程序员怎么样了 Speaking of staffing, how about all those coders you lost, man?
抱歉 那肯定对你们打击很大 I'm sorry. That must've been a real blow.
什么程序员 What coders?
不好意思 我不想无礼 但这话有点无聊 Um, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but this is boring.
感谢上帝我没有接受你们的条件 Thank God I didn't accept your offer.
不然我就是你唯一的员工了 I'd be the only guy working for you
现在盖文·贝尔森强势插入 now that Gavin Belson swooped in
并且很有手腕地大规模雇佣了 and tactically mass-hired every single
你们感兴趣的所有分布式系统工程师 distributed systems engineer you were looking at.
盖文雇了理查德所有的程序员 Gavin hired all of Richard's coders?
不是每个人 不是每个人 Not everyone. Not everyone.
没错 那家伙就是这么凶残 Yup. The guy is savage,
要是我的人喝不到咖啡他们也要去了 and so are my guys if they don't get their caffeine,
很高兴见到你 吉拉 很好 so nice meeting you, Kira. Cool. Cool, cool.
你刚才说什么筹码来着 What were you saying about holding all the cards?
要么接受所有人 要么一个都没有 All of my coders or none of them.
要不要随你 Take it or leave it.
什么 What?
什么鬼 What the fuck?
-你是不是... -你也... - Do you have-- - Do you--
杨建 Jian-Yang!
杨建 你能解释一下为什么 Jian-Yang... would you please explain
我们的床上都睡着个陌生的中国佬吗 why we each found some random Chinese guy asleep in our beds?
是啊 你们整天都要工作 Yes, you work all day.
你们的房间总是空的 所以他们在用 Your rooms are always empty, so they use.
他们当然他妈在用 The fuck they do.
没错 这房子不是你们的 Yes, it's not your house.
这房子也不是你的 杨建 This is not your house either, Jian-Yang.
这是埃利希的房子 This is Erlich's house.
你认为埃利希会让你这帮人来住吗 Do you think Erlich would want your guys here?
不 所以我才请他们来 因为我恨埃利希 No. That's why I invite them, because I hate Erlich.
我们不是埃利希 你们跟埃利希都是一伙的 We are not Erlich. You are from Erlich's administration.
我们才不是 埃利希几个月没消息了 No, we are not. Nobody has heard from Erlich in months.
这样可不行 This isn't working.
我他妈要把你表弟从我床上拽下来 I'm gonna drag your cousin the fuck outta my lair.
不 这个才是我表弟 No, this is my cousin.
工程师们 欢迎 Engineers, welcome.
你们是硅谷最顶尖的 You are 63 of the top
六十三位分布式系统开发者 distributed systems developers in the Valley,
我们非常期待与你们合作 and we're looking forward to working with you.
互利代表未来 而你们的未来是... Hooli is the future, and your future is...
盒子二 the Box Two.
你们有什么问题吗 So, are there any questions?
请说 Yes?
不好意思 但如果我们不想做那个呢 I'm sorry, but what if we don't wanna work on that?
奇怪 这可是我们的旗舰产品 Weird. This is our flagship product,
但我相信我们都想听听 but I'm sure we'd all like to hear
你想做什么产品的开发 what you would like to work on.
去中心化的互联网 A decentralized Internet,
就像我们本来想跟 like we were going to build
理查德·亨德里克斯一起搞的那种 with Richard Hendricks.
事实上 我们'互利'不能做那个 请说 Actually, that's the one thing we can't do here at Hooli. Yes?
抱歉 你雇佣了我们 Sorry. You only hired us
只是因为'魔笛手'想要我们 对吗 because Pied Piper wanted us, right?
不是这样的 继续 Untrue. Go on.
而'魔笛手'想要我们 And Pied Piper only wanted us
是因为我们能帮他们建一个去中心化的互联网 because of our ability to help build a decentralized Internet.
我不能对此发表意见 继续 Can't speak to that. Continue.
而你却告诉我们 就算我们想 And you're telling us that even if we want to,
也不能在这家公司建立去中心化的互联网 we can't build a decentralized Internet here.
可以问问原因吗 May I ask why not?
因为理查德有那项技术的专利 Because Richard owns the patent for it.
请讲 第三排穿红卫衣那位 Yes, third row, red hoodie.
他怎么得到专利的 How did he get it?
我给他的 I gave it to him.
后面那位 You in the back?
你为什么那么做 Why did you do that?
那是出于佛家的慈悲心肠 It was a Buddhist act of selflessness.
我也信佛 Well, I'm also a Buddhist,
要是我就绝不会给他这项专利 and I would never give him the patent.
一旦他建立起这个互联网 I mean, once he builds that Internet,
就会让'互利'整个基于网络的系统 he's gonna render Hooli's entire web-based ecosystem
被完全淘汰 completely obsolete.
你在这里做的一切都会变成老掉牙 I mean, everything you're doing here is antiquated.
你不是在问我问题 你是在发表意见 That's not a question. That's a statement.
这么着吧 You know what?
操你妈的 我才不想让你们来做我的盒子 Fuck you guys. I don't want you working on my box.
你们配不上 还"老掉牙"呢 It's too good for you. "Antiquated"?
那你们当时为什么还跟我签约那我的工资 Why did you all take my money then,
你们这群小混蛋 you entitled little pricks?
你们都以为自己清高如列侬 You all think you're John Lennon
直到有人拿钱砸你们的脸 until someone waves a dollar in your face!
都给我滚出去 You know what? Get outta here!
去公司园区里浪上四年直到你们合同到期 Go on, just wander the campus for four years until you vest.
看我还想不想的起你们 See what I care.
我说真的 滚吧 再见 我谢谢你们 I'm serious! Go! Goodbye! Thank you very much!
一群混蛋 说我"老掉牙" Assholes. "Antiquated"?
他们他妈的以为自己是谁啊 Fuck do they think they are?
创新名人堂里有我的大名 他们呢 I'm in the Innovation Hall of Fame. Are they?
说到照片 正式的入选者肖像画已经送来了 Speaking of, they sent over the official inductees portrait.
你和其他大师们 都帅呆了 You and your peers. Handsome bunch.
操 Fuck.
我操你妈 Fuck!
-杨先生... -该叫建先生 - So, Mr. Yang-- - It's Mr. Jian.
在中国 姓写在名前面 In China, last name comes first.
好吧 建先生 Okay. Mr. Jian,
你说这封信是埃利希·巴赫曼 you say that Erlich Bachman wrote this letter...
-写给你的 -是的 - to you? - Yes.
"我是埃利希 你好 "This is Erlich. Hello.
"我走了 但杨建是个很好的朋友 "I am gone, but Jian-Yang is a very good friend
"也很聪明 "and very smart.
"我想让他成为房子的领导者 "I want him to be the leader of the house
"管理所有的朋友 "And control all of the friends.
"再见 巴赫曼埃利希" "Goodbye. Bachman Erlich."
是的 我想要他的房子 谢谢 Yes. I want his house. Thank you.
好吧 严格意义上我并不代表巴赫曼先生 Okay, I don't technically represent Mr. Bachman.
我是'魔笛手'的公司法律顾问 I'm Pied Piper's corporate counsel,
所以只有在涉及他所拥有的10%公司股份时 so my exposure to Bachman pertains
我才能代表他处理文件 only to his 10% ownership of the business.
埃利希有'魔笛手'10%的股份 Errich owns 10% of Pied Piper?
你不是在骗我 This was not a lie?
很不幸还真不是 真的不能再真了 Sadly, no, that's very, very real.
这可值不少钱呢 That's worth a lot of money.
这技术很有前途 将来能值一座金山呢 It's promising tech. One day it could be worth a shit-ton.
金山 是啊 Shit-ton. Yes.
建先生 你看着像个好人 Mr. Jian, you seem like a good guy.
这封信不是法律文书 this letter is not a legal document.
或许有本事的律师能在 I mean, maybe a skilled attorney could make a case
缺乏现有遗嘱的情况下采取法律手段 that in the absence of an existing will,
让这封信在巴赫曼死亡的情况下被作为遗嘱 this would serve as one in the case of Bachman's death,
-但据我所知 这人还没 -死了 - but as far as I can tell, the guy is not... - Dead.
是的 埃利希死了 Yes. Errich is dead.
你有没有 死亡证明 Do you happen to have... a death certificate
-或是任何形式的证据呢 -有的 - or any-- any form of proof of... - Yes.
我这就拿给你 I can get it now.
我们和吉拉谈好的是三十名程序员 Our deal with Kira is for 30 fucking coders.
我们哪有地方给他们坐啊 Where in the hell are we gonna put them?
我觉得这里还能放三个工位 Well, I suppose we could put three more workstations here,
那里还能加两个 and then two more over there.
会很挤 但也贴心不寂寞 It'd be crowded but cozy.
他们能像大卫教派那样紧密团结在一起 They'll be all holed up together like the Branch Davidians.
好吧 但我们确定这是正确的选择吗 Yeah, but, I mean, are we sure this is the right thing to do?
我可不想挤到下凡的这几位 I mean, I don't want to crowd the stallions.
你确定全盘接收三十人是正确的抉择吗 Are we sure taking on all 30 of Kira's guys is the right move?
我们就能运作起来了 他们互相都认识 We can get up and running. They all know each other,
所以也就省去了破冰游戏 so we won't have to play the name game.
也是 Yeah.
罗恩 你好 Ron, hello.
哥们 稍微等一下 Hey, buddy. Hang on just a second.
不对 出口在 出口在反方向 No, the-- the exit is-- the exit is the other way.
苍天啊 理奇你认识一个叫基安的人吗 God damn it. Um, Richie, you know a guy named "Jee-Ann"?
简吗 不认识 Jan? Uh, no.
我认识个"简犀利" 但她是个女的 Well, I know a "Jan the Man," but she's a woman.
听着 你有没有和爆绘文字的董事会谈过 Look, did you-- did you talk to the Optimoji board yet?
我们拿下合同了吗 Uh, did we close the deal?
合同是拿下了 Uh, well, a deal closed.
另一个投标人给出了更高的出价 Another bidder came in with a better offer,
-所以他们签了另一家 -什么 - so they went with them. - What?
又他妈的是盖文·贝尔森吗 Was it Gavin fucking Belson again?
不是 是一家新公司 No, it was a new company.
名字起得非常有意思 Real smart, clever name.
类似于押韵的双关语 Sort of a pun that rhymes.
牙价网
你好 二位混蛋 Oh, hello, dickheads.
希望我没有打扰你们密谋大事 I hope I'm not interrupting your plotting,
你们这两个狡猾的小骗子 you sneaky little dinks.
吉拉 咱们俩说好的是不是 Kira, you and I had a deal, okay?
操你妈 操你妈 操你们全家 So fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you!
他说什么 What did he say?
不是说你 是所有人 Not you. Just e-- everyone.
操你们所有人 没有特指 I meant fuck all of you. No one specific.
理查德 你故意压低给我的报价 Richard, you low-balled me. Mmm?
记得吗 邓肯想让公司快速发展 Remember? Well, Duncan here said he wanted to grow fast as balls.
-他对此很激动 -对 我超激动 - He said he was psyched. - Yeah, I am psyched.
如果可以 我想把全硅谷的程序员都招来 I'd hire a million people if I could.
你想 如果我必须卖掉我的公司 我也会 See, if I have to sell my company, I might as well sell it
卖给一个真心想要我们所有人的CEO to the CEO who actually wants all of us.
这就是个披萨应用 吉拉 It's pizza, Kira.
理查德 我们只是三个 Richard, we're just three CEOs
都为自己公司着想的CEO trying to do right by our companies.
好吧 我很高兴你拒绝了我们 Okay, you know what? I'm glad you turned us down,
因为任何愿意跟这个蠢货合作的人 because I don't want to work with anyone
在我公司都不受欢迎 who wants to work with this... meathead.
我要拿走这些 全都拿走 I'm taking these. I'm taking all of them.
也许一个就够了 反正你只有四名员工 Maybe just take one. You have like four employees.
该死 Ah, shit.
把它扔了 Throw it away.
帕特莉斯 欢迎你回到'互利'大家庭 Patrice, I'd like to welcome you back to the Hooli family.
能回来真是太棒了 盖文 It's wonderful to be back, Gavin.
现在我们处于艰难时期 Sadly, the timing couldn't be worse.
我雇的那些程序猿说对了一件事 Those code-monkeys I just hired were right about one thing:
把杰克开发的盒子作为公司的旗舰产品 Making Jack's box the flagship product of this company
会让我们走上一条与主流技术脱节的 will send us down a path to technological irrelevance
不归路 from which we will never return.
但考虑到我们已经对这个产品 But in light of the time and resources
投入了时间和资源 we've invested in this product,
说服董事会和股东 convincing the board and our shareholders
马上放弃它几乎不可能 to simply scrap it will be nearly impossible.
公司太大 难以迅速做出改变 Our company is too big to turn around that quickly.
盖文 也许你可以启动一个新产品开发项目 Gavin, what if you launched a new product
帮我们重回正轨 to help us correct course?
没错 看看这些年 Absolutely. Look at all the products
你成功推出的所有产品 you've brought to market over the years.
这倒是 True.
我确实创造了互利播放器 I did invent the HooliPod
互利平板和互利平板专业版 and the HooliPad and the HooliPad Pro,
但一个人推出跨时代产品的能力是有限的 but a man only has so many game-changing inventions in him.
确切地说 所有这些 And technically, all the products
他说的产品都亏了本 he just named were money-losers.
可以说如果他没有推出这些产品 I mean, you could argue we'd have been better off
我们的情况可能更好 if he'd never invented any of that stuff.
-胡佛 -在 - Hoover. - Sir.
帕特莉斯 我能跟你单独说两句吗 Patrice, can I talk to you outside for a second?
如果杰克·巴克这个毒瘤盒子 Anyway, if Jack Barker's insidious box
最终进入市场 is allowed to go to market,
我们可能都会丢掉工作 we may all lose our jobs.
我们都会像帕特莉斯一样走人 We may all go the way of Patrice.
我们必须想出对策 But we must fight it.
我们不能为了短期利润 We cannot sacrifice our long-term wellbeing
牺牲掉长期收益 in the interest of paltry, short-term profits.
确切地说 它们不是短期利润 Well, they're not paltry, exactly.
你没有看到盒子二代的预购统计吗 Did you not see the preorder figures for the Box Two?
今早刚出来的 They came in this morning.
我的天 Holy shit.
这数据对吗 这是几个季度的 Are these right? How many quarters is this?
就一个 盒子二代会是有史以来 Just one. The Box Two will be by far
我们发布的最赚钱的新产品 the most lucrative new product we've ever released.
该死的牙价网 Fucking Sliceline.
而且他这高科技披萨吃起来跟达美乐的一样 Plus his fancy, hi-tech pizza tastes just like Domino's.
这是有原因的 看这底下的衬纸 There's a reason for that. Check out the liner.
-确实 -我看就是达美乐的 - Oh yeah. - I guess that's Domino's.
我们从没吃过披萨 因为我继母说 We never had pizza 'cause my step-mom said
意大利人并不是真正的白人 Italians aren't real white people.
等等 邓肯不自己做披萨吗 Hold on. Duncan doesn't even make his own pizza?
他只是从达美乐那里订 He just orders it from Domino's
然后换个包装 and switches the boxes?
他真是狡猾 He really is sneaky.
这不是狡猾 这是蠢 It's not sneaky. It's stupid.
换包装要花很多钱 Switching boxes costs a lot of money.
好吧 你怎么知道 Okay. How do you know?
我需要证明埃利希已经死了 I need to prove Errich's dead,
所以我想从中国运一具尸体过来 so I want to ship a dead body from China,
但要在中国找到一具白人尸体很难 but it's hard to find a white body in China,
特别是像埃利希这么胖的 especially fat like Errich,
所以我从辛辛那提医学院 so I buy a fat, white cadaver
买了一具胖白人尸体 from Cincinnati medical school.
但要运到中国 掉包 But to ship to China, then switch box,
再运回来 这太花钱了 then ship back, it's way too much money.
谁来复述一下 Say that again.
每个字根本都串不起来 Like, not one word of that made sense.
等等 我 想想 Hold on. Just-- ju-- what-- uh...
有人 有人知道达美乐披萨的价格吗 does anyone-- does anyone know the price of a Domino's pizza?
大号的十美元 A large, 10 bucks.
牙价网的披萨卖九美元 Okay, well, Sliceline sells theirs for nine.
-所以 -所以我们还没彻底玩完 - So? - So, we're not fucked yet.
你之前真的好吓人 理查德 真的是 That was kinda crazy, Richard. That was--
你真是好一顿撒泼啊 I mean, you threw a full-on tantrum.
我知道 我很抱歉 I know, I know. I am so sorry.
只是 我想我只是个 It's just-- I guess I'm just a CEO
为自己公司着想的CEO trying to do right by my company.
像你们一样 Like you guys.
说到工作 我们今晚超火爆 Speaking of business, wow, we're having a hell of a night.
是啊 我知道 Yeah, well, I would know.
大搞有五百个订单是我下的 About 500 of those orders tonight are me.
理查德 你没必要这样的 Richard, you really didn't have to do that.
但也非常感谢你送给我们的和解补偿 But the peace offering is super appreciated.
我可不会把这叫做和解补偿 Yeah, well, I wouldn't really call it a peace offering.
邓肯 你拿到了八百万投资 对吧 You see, Duncan, you took eight mil in funding, right?
然后你提出高于我的报价 And then you matched my offer
从吉拉那收购了爆绘文字 to acquire Optimoji here from Kira,
但问题是 你的披萨标价是九美元 but the thing is, you can't sell your pizzas
想要不亏本根本不可能 对吧 for nine bucks a pop without taking a bath, can you?
重新包装 二次送餐 The reboxing, the double delivery, ugh.
每一份订单你亏了 四美元吗 You lose, what, four bucks an order?
其实是五美元 Five, actually.
-我们每份比萨订单亏损五美元吗 -对 - We're losing five bucks a pizza? - Yeah.
只是暂时的 她的团队将会优化 Only temporarily. So, her team is gonna optimize
我们的下单路径和配置 our order routing and allocation,
之后我们就有利润了 and then we'll be cash-flow positive.
在花光投资之前 We can easily turn it around
-我们会很快扭转局面 -也是 - before we run out of money. - Right.
-对 -除非很多人 - Yeah. - Unless a lot of people
突然一起集中下单 buy your pizza very quickly.
你在 你在做什么 What are-- what are you doing?
邓肯 我也会出阴招 Well, Duncan, I can be a dickhead too.
你看 我银行账户里有一千三百万 You see, I have $13 million in my bank account
缺没多少员工需要发工资 and a very low payroll,
这样我就有闲钱买很多好吃的比萨 which affords me to buy a lot of tasty 'za
让你没时间扭转局面 before you can turn it around.
你是要让我们破产吗 You're trying to bankrupt us?
不 吉拉 我只是想让你们的公司贬值 No, Kira. I'm simply trying to devalue your company,
这样我就能压低我的收购价 so that I can make a low-ball acquisition offer
而你们还没法说不 which you cannot refuse.
理查德 我把你的账户删掉就行了 Richard, I'm just gonna delete your account.
你看 我的工程师们早就想到了这一点 You see, my engineers already thought of that,
而他们搞了一个小僵尸网络程序 and they worked up a little botnet program.
上万个以假乱真的假用户跟真用户混杂在一起 Thousands of fake users indistinguishable from real ones
完美定位在同一地点以最大化我们的行动时间 geolocated perfectly to maximize drive time
这样就能让你这小破公司血本无归 and bleed your little greasebag operation dry.
我可能没雇多少程序员 You know, I may not have that many coders,
但我现有的员工可是天上有地下无 but the ones I do are stallions,
每一位都是那么超凡脱俗 each one more magnificent than the last.
你花了一万九美元买比萨 You spent $19,000 on pizza?
不 一万九千美元用来复仇 No, $19,000 on vengeance.
你要收购那个已经收购了爆绘文字的牙价网 You're acquiring Sliceline who already acquired Optimoji?
理查德 这可意味着新增五十名员工 Richard, you're talking about absorbing a staff of 50.
这你要怎么说服劳里 How are you gonna spin this to Laurie?
你说过你会在劳里面前保护我 Well, you said you'd protect me from Laurie.
她是你的合伙人 难道你害怕她 I mean, she's your partner. Are you afraid of her?
我当然害怕她 Of course I'm afraid of her.
那个女人怀孕就是为了向我证明 The woman got pregnant just to prove to me
她可以一天假都不请得把孩子生下来 that she could do it without missing a day of work.
好吧 我理解 Okay, fair enough,
但也许这次你可以支持我 but maybe this one time you could take my side.
我没法支持你 你想要雇五十位员工 I cannot take your side. You're asking for 50 employees.
-想想看 -抱歉我迟到了 - Think of the... - Sorry I am late.
劳里 你不是 Hey, Laurie. Did you, uh--
催产了 对 就今早 Induce? Yes, this morning...
而我已经回来上班了 and here I am.
那么 理查德 So, Richard,
我收到了你的邮件 I received your email.
我明白你想要收购一家公司叫做牙价网 I understand you wish to acquire a company called... Sliceline,
他们最近刚收购了一家公司叫爆绘文字 which themselves recently acquired a company called Optimoji.
对 而且我会开除两家公司得CEO Yes, and I will be firing both companies' CEOs
接管所有的工程师团队 大概五十人 and taking on a total engineering team of about, uh, 50.
五十 Fifty?
莫妮卡 你对此无异议吗 Monica, you are okay with this?
这确实发展太快 让他们有点措不及防 Well, it shortens their runway significantly,
但你也说过希望他们扩大规模 劳里 but you did say that you want them to grow, Laurie.
但这件事感觉有点 Yes, but in this case it seems...
草率 reckless.
但如果你对这事有把握 莫妮卡 那么 However, if you are on top of it, Monica, then...
批准了 approved.
恭喜你 Congratulations.
太好了 谢谢 也恭喜你 Great. Thanks. And congratulations to you too.
因为 On?
因为孩子出生了 On the-- on your-- on your baby.
互利大规模向买家推销盖文·贝尔森的标志性盒子
棒极了 看起来盖文把精力全放在了 This is awesome. Gavin is essentially doubling-down
我们将要摧毁的领域 on the very thing we are destroying.
就好像他放弃了 It's like he's giving up.
也许我该买那辆更好的特斯拉 Maybe I should've ordered the nicer Tesla.
老天 所有人都来了 Oh gosh. Everyone's here.
-理查德 -好多人 - Richard. - So many people.
理查德 Richard.
我想你不如给大家开场致个词 I thought you'd want to give some opening remarks,
你知道毕竟是第一天开始工作 you know, it being the first day and all,
就给公司设个基调 just to set the tone.
女士们先生们 理查德·亨德里克斯 Ladies and gentlemen, Richard Hendricks!
很高兴能跟大家合作 Well, it's great to have everybody
好多新鲜的面孔 and... so many... f-- faces.
我们这有很多男男女女一起工作 We've got a lot of... men and women here.
还有 And...
我们得谨记这一点 we should remember that.
大家要注意卫生 So, let's keep it clean.
总是很难 It's always a challenge...
要保持 to get it--
我得 我可能 等下会再讲几句 I've got-- I should probably-- more to say in a minute.
我得先走了 稍微去下 我办公室 I just have to go, one-- one second, in my office...
然后我再做个结束语 and then we'll conclude.
他就需要稍微回下他办公室 Uh, he just needs a second in his office,
之后很快回来 then he's gonna come back.
老天 Oh God.
别告诉任何人 好吗 Don't tell anyone, okay?
理查德 我知道我们经费紧张 Richard, I know-- I know money's tight,
但我想我应该给你的桌子加块遮脚板 but I think I might invest in a modesty panel for your desk.
什么 What?