这种事他妈怎么可能发生 How the fuck does something like this happen?
大象怎么就挂了 How does an elephant just die?
它年纪大了而且心情一直不好 He was very old and depressed.
它最近刚被人从马戏团解救出来 He'd recently been rescued from the circus,
但结果发现它其实挺爱表演的 but as it turns out, he actually really loved performing.
谁他妈在乎大象啊 Who gives a fuck about the elephant?
我说我自己呢 What about me?
现在形势不妙啊 This does not look good.
我想不出来什么好办法把它挪走 I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out how to remove him.
它有四吨重 He weighs 9,000 pounds.
把它切碎 Cut it up.
然后一点一点运走 Take it out in pieces.
我并不想打断你们 I-- I don't mean to interrupt,
但我可以找朋友帮忙 but-- but I could call in a personal favor
从特拉维斯空军基地调支直升机小队 and get a helo crew out of Travis AFB
用一架西科斯基空中起重机把它吊起来 with a Sikorsky Skycrane to airlift it out
然后等天黑之后把它丢进海里 and drop it in the ocean right after dark.
绝对干净 不留踪迹 No muss, no fuss.
就这么办 There.
你看有那么难办吗 帕特莉斯 Was that so hard, Patrice?
因为对胡佛而言很简单嘛 Because Hoover sure didn't think so.
我才刚刚重新站稳脚跟 I mean, I just found my footing again,
而你差点害我丢了这一切 and you put me in danger of losing it all
就他妈因为一头大象 over some fucking elephant?
盖文 你总是说 Gavin, you always said that
在'互利' 要想创造奇迹 here at Hooli, "In order to achieve greatness,
必须先造福人类 we must first achieve goodness."
对 Right.
所以呢 So?
所以 So...
我是肖恩·帕克婚礼上的伴娘 I was a bridesmaid at Sean Parker's wedding
他当时把活兔子当做毛绒玩具送给宾客 when he handed out live bunnies as plush toys.
那不是造福人类 That wasn't goodness.
那是危害生命 It was badness.
这也一样 And so is this.
你利用濒危生物 You're using endangered animals
只为了在董事会议上表达自己的观点 just to make points at board meetings.
我那是仔细推敲后 用动物做的比较 I'm drawing thoughtful, zoological comparisons.
但你就不能给他们看动物的图片吗 But couldn't you just show them a picture of these animals?
用互利引擎随便搜一下就有成千上万的结果 A simple Hooli search would yield thousands of choices.
帕特莉斯 多谢你对我这么坦诚 Patrice, I thank you for your honesty,
那我也对你毫无保留 and I will repay you with my own.
我真心希望再也不要在我办公室里见到你 I honestly never want to see you in my offices again.
你被解雇了 You're fired.
胡佛 Hoover?
-去把那空中起重机搞来 -是 先生 - Scramble that Skycrane. - Yes, sir.
第
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第
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硅
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本蓝光版外挂字幕由 风吹来的那片云 用HDTV版调轴
来吧 请进 Please, uh, come in.
原创翻译 双语字幕
■
仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆www.ZiMuZu.tv
进来吧 坐 Come in. Have a seat.
我不会占用你太多时间 I won't take a lot of your time.
我保证 I promise.
■
翻译: 我要吃包子 elflife 江湖人称王姑娘
好吧 Okay.
你想喝点茶吗 Would you like some tea?
我可以用电热板烧壶水 I can put a kettle on the hot plate.
翻译: 西之 王二川 蓝光章鱼X
不用 我没事 谢谢 Oh, no, I'm fine. Thank you.
一点不麻烦 There's no trouble.
刚想起来 我有盒 You know what? I have a box of--
罗塞尔巧克力 如果蜘蛛还没爬进去的话 of Russell Stover's if the spiders didn't get into 'em.
校对: 熊猫 somehacker
贾里德 你是想说虚假用户的事吗 Jared, is this about the fake users?
时间轴: 纸袋PPPPP 姜姜
你知道了 You know?
两周前 我想看看用户行为 搞清楚 Two days ago, I wanted to look at user behavior to figure out
后期: 污里海海
是什么刺激了用户数量突然增长 what spurred the sudden uptick,
然后 我发现了一些事 and, uh, well, I noticed something.
几乎我们所有的新用户 Almost all of our new users
总监： 没用的傻熊猫
都只是上传一张照片 were just uploading a single photo
放到一个共享文件夹里 然后第二天 into a shared folder, and then the next day,
他们会把照片拷出来 然后第三天 they would take the photo out and then put it back in
再把它放回去 就干了这些 the day after that and that's it.
刚好达到了当前活跃用户的最低标准 You know, just enough to qualify as a daily active user.
典型的水军行为 Classic click-farm behavior.
然后我想起在浴缸里跟你说的那些话 And then I remembered our conversation in the bathtub,
那就 就只可能是你 and it just-- it had to be you.
理查德 我真的很抱歉 Richard, I am so sorry.
没关系 It's okay.
-你打我一下会让你好受点吗 -不会 - Would it make you feel better to-- to strike me? - No.
你是出于好心 贾里德 You-- you had good intentions, Jared.
说实话 你别想太多 Honestly, don't give it another thought.
就只是 Just, you know...
这事现在就只是你知我知 you and I right now are the only ones that know about it.
好吗 Okay?
几周之后 等我们花光了钱 And in a few weeks, when we run out of money,
一切总会结束 this will all be over anyway.
-理查德 -怎么了 - Richard? - Yes?
只属于我们的小秘密 We have a secret.
对 Yeah.
我发誓 I mean, I swear to God,
要是你们当时在场 your dicks would have blown
你们的屌都得从你们的屁眼里 out of the back of your assholes
被喷出来 我对天发誓 if you had been there, hand to God.
伙计们 出什么事了 Hey, guys. What's going on?
理查德 你坐 我做到了 Richard, sit down. I did it.
我拯救了公司 I saved the company.
你做了 什么 怎么办到的 What do you-- What? How?
贾里德 你哭过吗 Jared, have you been crying?
对 但只是平常原因 Yes, but for ordinary reasons.
请继续 Please, go on.
好的 我当时在罗斯伍德吃午饭 Okay. I was at The Rosewood for lunch.
我是说当时是午餐时间 I mean, it was the lunch hour.
我人在那 但没吃饭 跟往常一样 I was there, I wasn't eating, the usual.
我走到安德森[投资者]旁边说了个笑话 So, I walk over to Andreessen and I say something funny,
但他给我玩面无表情 but he stone-faces me.
你说了什么 What did you say?
这不重要 重点是那笑话超好笑 It doesn't matter. The point is, it was hilarious,
但他什么反应都没有 他的朋友们也是 but he gave me nothing and neither did his friends.
然后我意识到了原因 Then I realized why.
你没那么好笑吗 You're not funny?
不 吉尔弗约尔 但我意识到了原因 No, Gilfoyle, but that is.
不 那是因为所有人都认为 No, it's that everybody thinks
魔笛手肯定死定了 Pied Piper is in this death spiral,
所以被我超好笑的笑话逗笑并不合适 so it would be inappropriate to laugh at my hysterical joke.
然后我灵光一闪 And it hits me.
我有他们并不知情的情报 I know something that they don't.
我知道用户数增加了 I know about the uptick.
用户数增加 The uptick?
对 用户数增加 Yes, the uptick!
最近突然间用户数大幅上涨 The recent sudden surge in users.
是啊 那个啊 Yeah. That.
没错 所以我们正峰回路转的时候 Yes, that. So, while our fortune is rising,
其他人却都觉得我们要完蛋了 everybody else thinks that it's plummeting,
而我可以像弹弓一样 and I can use these opposing forces
利用这两个矛盾势力 推波助澜 to a multiplying effect like a slingshot,
我决定了 and then I make a decision.
我要出手了 I'm gonna make a move.
我神秘兮兮地提了下用户量激增 So, I say something cryptic about the uptick,
然后转身就走 and I walk away.
-你怎么提的 -不知道 忘了 - What did you say? - I don't know. I can't remember.
我走开 看到麦克纳米在吃牛小排 But I walk over and I see McNamee's having the short rib,
听说挺好吃的 但不会腻 which I hear is delicious but not too heavy,
我就跟他讲 and then I say to him,
你要是想在这里吃饭 "You're gonna have to tuck in your tie-dye
可不能穿扎染衣服 if you want to eat here."
-这和公司有什么关系 -没关系 - How's that relevant? - It's not.
但我刚刚离开的那桌人可不知道 But the people that I just walked away from don't know that.
他们看到的是 我走开之后 All they know is that I'm over there
和麦克纳米开起了玩笑 exchanging witty banter with McNamee,
开的什么玩笑 他们不知道 and about what, they don't know.
但他们现在心急如焚了 It's all that they do want to know.
过不了多久就能反应过来 And then, it settles in.
怕错良机 F.O.M.O.
害怕错失交易良机 The fear of missing out.
突然 时间仿佛都变慢了 Suddenly, it feels like time is slowing down.
我能清楚地看到未来要做的12个步骤 I could see every move I was going to make 12 steps ahead.
如果鲍比·菲舍尔会打炮 那就是我了 It was like I was Bobby Fischer if he could really fuck.
我走出去 过街到葛瑞洛克风投 I go outside, I walk across the street to Graylock,
在图享上签了个到 I check in on Instagram,
维诺德·柯斯拉就来电了 问我去干嘛 Vinod Khosla calls me, asks me what I doing there.
我说现在不方便 打给木蛋白风投找我吧 I say, "I can't talk right now. Call me at Wood Opal."
他就打了 然后木蛋白就开始想 Well, he does, and then suddenly Wood Opal is going,
柯斯拉和巴赫曼在干什么 "What's Khosla got going on with Bachman?"
与此同时 我在复新五金店小便呢 Meanwhile, I'm taking a leak at a Restoration Hardware.
我略撸了一把 不射 I jack off a little bit. I don't cum.
然后事情越闹越大 And then it snowballs.
我微妙地挑拨了罗斯洛马和索引风投 I deftly played Ross Loma against Index Ventures.
然后这一手 让大鱼上钩了 And because of that, the big kahuna bites.
红杉风投 Sequoia.
之后20分钟 我反复拒接了杰姆·戈兹 I spend the next 20 minutes denying calls from Jim Goetz,
所有的电话 over and over.
我的确还在撸管 但我不需要射 And yes, I'm jacking off, but I don't need to ejaculate
因为等我听了语音留言 because by the time I listen to the messages,
我就手握报价 手握还价 I've got offers, I've got counters,
手握再报价了 I've got counter-counters.
我射了 I cum.
当一切尘埃落定 When the dust settled...
败者打道回府 剩下的就是这个 and the losers went home, all that was left was this.
你好 巴赫曼先生 "Hello, Mr. Bachman.
科尔曼布莱尔风投想给'魔笛手' "Coleman Blair Partners would like to offer Pied Piper
B轮投资 报价六百万 "a Series B round of $6 million
估值6千万 on a $60 million valuation."
太棒了 Yeah!
老天 Holy shit.
而这混蛋之前还想转去做视频聊天 And this asshole wanted to pivot to video chat.
还是可行的 Still valid.
但我承认 现在那想法没那么有趣了 Although less sexy now. I'll concede that.
这是我的《蒙娜·丽莎》 It's my Mona Lisa.
我竖起的这座大教堂 And the entire cornerstone
将让我名垂青史 upon which I built this motherfucking cathedral
而这一切的关键 that I will forever be remembered for,
就是这小小的用户量激增 was this beautiful little uptick.
我记得保鲜格里还有瓶科达克酒 I think I have a bottle of Cold Duck in the crisper.
谁想喝酒 来吧 Who's drinking? Come on!
我还有瓶马丁南尼酒庄的给你 贾里德 I got a bottle of Martinelli's for you, Jared.
今儿可是好日子 This is a big day!
我们成功了 We did it! Yes!
我跟他说 I'll talk to him.
我会跟他谈的 I-- I'll talk to him.
这是我的'互利'胸牌 Here's my Hooli badge.
我后视镜上 And I have a hanging tag
还挂了一个停车场用的标签 on my rear-view mirror for the parking structure.
日后寄来可以吗 Can I just mail that in?
不行 现在去取 No, you need to go get that now.
好吧 Okay.
有科技圈黑幕吗
立马给CJ·坎特维尔发邮件
你好 迪尼希 Hey, Dinesh.
我在找埃利希 看到他了吗 I'm just, um, looking for Erlich. Have you seen him?
他去买酒了 Oh, he went to the liquor store.
派对不能停 你懂得 Gotta keep the party going, you know?
是啊 B轮了 太神奇了 Oh yeah. Yeah, Series B. Crazy, right?
没错 太离谱了 Oh, it's unreal. Yeah.
就好像我们有些用户一样 Almost like some of our users.
什么 What?
什么 这是什么意思 What-- what does that mean?
离谱可以有好多意思 Oh, "Unreal" has so many meanings.
比如 假的 买来的 "Fake," "Paid for,"
孟加拉国一个人冒充6000人 "One person in Bangladesh pretending to be 6,000."
这样 Okay.
好吧 迪尼希 All right, Dinesh, um--
别 Oh, no.
我什么都不想知道 I don't want to know a fucking thing.
好吧 好的 Okay then. Great.
我不告诉你 因为什么都没发生 I won't tell you anything because nothing happened.
棒极了 Great.
好的 Okay.
但如果的确发生了什么 But if something did happen,
不是说真的发生了 and we're not saying it did,
但事实是 the fact remains
这下形势对我们非常有利 that leaves us in a very advantageous position.
事关一大笔钱 There's a lot of money on the table.
要是错失了 就太可惜了 And it would be a shame if that went away.
你知道还有什么会挺可惜的吗 You know what else would be a shame...
比如 如果我弄丢了我的闪存 is if I couldn't find my flash drive.
吉尔弗约尔 你看到了吗 Gilfoyle, have you seen my flash drive?
对啊 那个存了僵尸进程的闪存 Right, the one with the zombie script on it?
是哦 那僵尸进程可以随机化'魔笛手' Why yes, the zombie script that randomizes user action
这种平台上的用户行为 in platforms such as Pied Piper.
你的意思是 You mean so that
这样一来 从流量公司买的假用户 fake users and click farms would be
就和真用户完全没有区别了吗 absolutely indistinguishable from real users?
大概吧 Oh, I suppose.
尤其针对风投会做的那种 I mean, especially during due diligence,
尽职调查 或日后某些监察部门 like the kind done by VCs or possible future reviews
做的平台评估 done by certain regulatory bodies.
那里还有我姑姑的照片呢 It also had photos of my auntie.
话说回来 吉尔弗约尔你到底看到没 Anyway, Gilfoyle, have you seen it?
我没有 I have not.
理查德 那留意一下 好吗 Mm, well, Richard, keep an eye out for it, will ya?
吉尔弗约尔 你愿意进屋 Hey, Gilfoyle, you wanna come inside and help me
帮我在史泰博官网上选个新U盘吗 get a new flash drive on www.staples.com?
办公用品网站
好啊 我们的计谋也实施得差不多了 Yeah, I think we're sort of done with the ruse.
好 好 不论你做还是不做 Okay. Okay, fine. Well, whatever you did
那都是连环杀手级的招数 or didn't do, that was serial-killer-level shit.
同意 Agreed.
我觉得我终于尊重你这个首席执行官了 I think I finally respect you as a CEO.
靠 Fuck.
这是诈骗 This is fraud.
是吗 Is it?
我们平台的功能与描述的完全相符 I mean, our-- our platform does exactly what we say it does.
我们又没有像'治诊'那样 Okay? It's not like we're lying about it
硅谷一血液检测技术公司 涉嫌虚假宣传
去搞欺诈 like fucking Theranos.
如果平台运行良好 这一定没问题 And if our platform works, which we know it will,
我们能给他们带来几十亿美元收益 we will make them billions of dollars.
人人都是赢家 贾里德 Everybody wins, Jared.
你还相信吧 You still believe that, right?
只要有足够的时间 平台能被广泛接受 That, if given enough time, the platform will catch on?
理查德 别拿我对你的信任来对付我 Richard, don't weaponize my faith in you against me.
正是你的信任才让这一切有可能 Your faith made all this possible.
这么做不对 It's wrong.
每次我努力做正确的事 我都一败涂地 Well, every time I try to do the right thing, I get fucked.
如果我现在做正确的事 And if I do the right thing here,
我们就完蛋了 就是这样 we're done. That's it.
我们别无选择 对吧 Doesn't seem like much of an option, does it?
当 这些都太棒了 Dang, they're all just so good.
盖文 CJ·坎特维尔在线路一 Gavin, CJ Cantwell, line one.
当 我们明天继续 Dang, let's pick this up tomorrow.
CJ CJ.
我有篇文章快写完了想让你评论下 I'm finishing a story I'd love a comment on.
是讲你司雕塑公园里 It's about the death of an unpermitted Indian elephant
一头名为莫里斯的非法印度象之死 named Maurice in your sculpture garden and its subsequent
及其被非法抛尸于旧金山湾的事 illegal dumping in the San Francisco Bay.
一派胡言 That's preposterous.
消息来源非常可靠 Mm, I have a very good source.
你想怎样 What do you propose we do here?
我有个想法 Well, I have one idea.
那请你告诉我是什么呢 And what, pray tell, might that be?
CJ把博客卖了200万 CJ sold the blog for $2 million.
不可能吧 No shit.
巴赫头又占上风了 Bachmanity rides again.
也不是 我给大头打了电话 Well, not exactly. Uh, I called Big Head
告诉他我们每人持股价值50万美元 to tell him that our share was worth half a mil each,
结果才过了五分钟 and, uh, not five minutes later,
他爸 老尼尔森·达头蒂 his father, one Nelson Bighetti, Sr.,
给我打电话 告诉我别再想 called me and explained that I was never to
和他儿子做任何金钱交易 have any financial dealings with his son
永远别想 in perpetuity, uh, ever
否则他就要让我瞧瞧意大利人的颜色了 or he would get very Italian on me.
我也没兴趣弄清那是什么意思 And I'm not interested to find out what that means.
好了 走吧 Okay. Shall we?
致科尔曼·布莱尔 我们来把这事定了吧 To Coleman Blair! Let's close this fucker.
兄弟们 祝你们好运 Good luck, fellas.
记住 你只要坐那当个安静的美男子就好 Remember, you just sit there and look pretty.
我来负责说话 Leave all the talking to me.
如果你要提到我的万宝龙 And if you mention my Mont Blanc,
别说得太明显 按我说的做 then, uh, don't make it overt, like I told you to.
但是要说 But do.
怎么了 Hey, what's up?
你们在从别处筹资吗 Are you guys out raising money from someone else?
莫妮卡 这事说来话长 Uh, Monica, it's, uh-- it's kind of a long story.
你为什么这么小声 Why are you whispering?
我天 你们就在那 是吧 Oh, my god, you're there right now, aren't you?
天呐 你到底知不知道 Jesus! Do you have any idea
你这样让我多难堪 how big of an asshole you're making me look here?
劳里刚大骂我一顿 Laurie just lost her shit at me, okay?
你现在立刻马上掉头走人 So, you need to turn around and walk the hell out of there.
埃利希促成的事儿 和我没关系 Erlich put all this together. I really had nothing to do with it.
全部都和你有关好吗 You have everything to do with it.
你他妈可是首席执行官啊 理查德 You're the fucking CEO, Richard!
不论公司做什么 你要负全责 Whatever your company does is 100% on you!
先生们 Gentlemen.
他们准备好见你们了 They're ready for you.
好 我得挂了 Yes. I-- I gotta go.
别挂我电话 Do not hang up on me.
理查德 别 Richard, do not--
各位 我们很激动 So listen, we're pumped, guys.
我们对将在此刻成为'魔笛手'的股东 We're thrilled to be getting into Pied Piper
无比兴奋 right at this inflection point.
太激动人心了 It's very exciting.
我们也很激动 是吧 理查德 We are pumped as well. Aren't we, Richard?
-理查德 激动 -激动 - Richard. Pumped. - Pumped!
-我们超激动 -超激动 - We are pumped up. - Pumped up.
请你在此签名 So we'll just need your John Hancock right here.
没问题 理查德 Oh, sure, Richard.
你可以用我的万宝龙签 Uh, you can use my Montblanc.
这是真的条款书啊 This is an actual term sheet.
一旦我签了 就敲定了 对吧 And once I sign this-- this, that's it, right?
对 没有回头路了 Yup. No turning back.
你可以让律师详细审查 You can have your lawyers vet
具体的股权收购协议 the actual stock purchase agreement
只要我们现在确定下来 once we close here just to make sure
保证双方都是真心做生意的 no one is pulling any funny business.
不 不 我的律师还在监狱里 No, no. No, my lawyer is in jail, so.
所以 So.
天呐 我 Oh, my god. I, uh...
真不敢相信我居然没考虑到这个 Wow, I can't believe I didn't think of this
之前居然没想到 因为 before, um, because,
这么说吧 well, let me put it to you this way.
如果我告诉你你们所熟知喜爱的压缩算法 What would you say if I told you that
已被用于一流的 the same compression that you know and love
具有颠覆性的 is being used in a world-beating,
别急听我说完 game-changing-- wait for it--
视频会议应用 你们怎么看 video conferencing application?
有意思吧 Wouldn't that be interesting?
什么 你是指互利聊天吗 What? You mean like Hooli-Chat?
远比互利聊天高端 This will be far superior to Hooli-Chat.
你也许会希望转而为它投资 You may want to fund that instead.
其实 我还是 In fact, why don't I, um--
我还是回趟家 取一下我的笔记本 why don't I just go home, I'll grab my laptop,
然后回来向你们展示 I'll come back here, I'll show it to you guys.
-我住得不远 我不介意 -理查德 - It's not that far. I don't mind. -Richard, what--
这样吧 我打个优步 I'll tell you what, I'll grab an Uber.
不不不 没事的 No, no, no, no. It's no problem.
-理查德 你他妈的干吗 -叫好了 - Richard, what the fuck are you doing? There. - I've ordered it.
开起亚狮跑的尼尔就在街角 Neal is in a blue Kia Sportage and he's right around the corner.
好了好了 听着 All right, all right. Look, look, look.
我不知道你还和谁说了平台 I don't know who else you're talking to about the platform,
但我愿意加到700万 估值7000万 but I'm willing to go up to seven million on 70.
好吗 但就这么多了 Okay? But that's it.
现在就得签 You sign this thing right here and right now.
太棒了 理查德 打压得好 Bravo, Richard. Nice neg.
签吧 Now sign it.
谢谢 你太大方了 Thank you. Very generous of you.
我只想确认一下 I just-- I just want to make sure
你是否知道所有的反馈 that you're aware of all the feedback
因为我们开了几次讨论会 还存在一些问题 'cause we had some focus groups and there were some issues.
你们要知道 Just so you're clear,
大家都在疑惑"我的文件都哪去了 people have been wondering, "Eh! Where are my files?
-一点体积都没有 下载键在哪" -理查德 - "Zero K used? Where's the download button?" - Richard, Richard--
-"终端..." -好了 我来 - The terminator--" - All right, all right, you know what?
-因为... -我签 我来可以吧 - 'Cause it-- - I'm gonna sign it. Can I sign it? I'll sign it.
你想签也可以 但还是需要他的签名 You can if you want, but we still need his signature.
理查德 签 Richard, sign it.
两年的经费呢 That's two years of runway.
-快签 -我不能签 - Sign it now! - I can't.
为什么不能 Why the fuck not?
因为数据是假的 Because the numbers are fake.
什么 What?
什么 你什么意思 What? What do you mean?
-你说什么... -我们买了... - What do you-- - We bought...
从孟加拉的点击农场买了虚假用户数量 fake users from a Bangladeshi click farm.
用户量上涨都是假的 The uptick was fake.
但视频聊天... But the-- the vid chat...
是真的 is real.
埃利希 买假用户只是想要激励大家 Erlich, the fake users were just meant to cheer the guys up.
我不知道你会用那些数据... I had no idea you were gonna take those numbers--
要不然还要怎样 And what, and go do my fucking job?
付出一切去为'魔笛手'争取最好的交易 Pour everything I had into getting the best possible deal
因为我相信它 for Pied Piper because I believe in them?
现在都结束了 Well, that's all over now.
理查德 我们完蛋了 Richard, we are fucked!
在我们从办公室 In the amount of time that it took for us to get
走到这里的时间内 from that office to right here,
硅谷所有的风投公司都知道这件事了 every VC in the Valley knows about this.
如果我刚刚签了合同 我就犯欺诈罪了 If I signed those term sheets, I would be committing fraud.
那可是犯罪啊 That's a fucking crime!
你的意思是想让我... You're saying you wanted me to--
不 我想让你在带着我 No, I wanted you to fucking think about that
在硅谷推销的你的谎言的时候 before you paraded me around the whole fucking valley
能够三思 to sell your lie!
然后你又突然长出了一颗巨大的良心 And then suddenly grew a thick, girthy conscience
让我颜面扫地 and fucked me with it.
你是理查德吗 Are you Richard?
-你叫车了吗 -没有 - Did you order an Uber? - Oh. No.
你本来只要闭上嘴 All you had to do was keep your fucking mouth shut
签个字就万事大吉了 and sign that piece of paper.
有问题回头都能处理 We would have fixed it afterwards.
但你没有 你怂了 But you didn't. You caked your pants.
不 还有更棒的 你把我也拖下水了 No, better yet, you caked my pants.
去你的 理查德·亨德里克斯 Fuck you, Richard Hendricks.
去你的 Fuck you.
理查德·亨德里克斯是吗 Richard Hendricks, huh?
蠢货 Prick.
莫妮卡 Oh, hey, Monica.
理查德在这吗 我听说了 Is Richard here? I heard what happened,
但他不接我电话 but he's not answering any of my calls.
我们想让你知道 We just wanted you to know for the record
我们根本不知道他干了这事 that we had no idea any of that stuff was going on.
还在努力接受当中 Still trying to wrap our heads around it.
关键是你别因此而沮丧 Point is, don't beat yourself up about not seeing it.
我没有沮丧... I'm not beating myself up--
希望你没有认为我们是同谋 I hope you don't think we're guilty by association,
要不然我们就会 because then we would have to
觉得你是同谋 而我们都不是同谋 think you're guilty by association, which we don't.
我们只想让你知道 今后我们 Just want to let you know that we would definitely work
都很乐意和你再次共事 with you again in the future.
真好 谢谢你们 It's good to know. Guys, thanks.
他在屋里吗 Um... is he in his room?
他之前是说过 I mean, he said he was.
但... But...
我去他房间好了 I'm gonna go to his room.
怎么了 格列布 Uh, what's up, Gleb?
我听说理查德搞诈骗啊 I hear, uh, Richard shit bed, huh?
所以平台不好... So, the platform is no goo-oo-oo-oo...
视频聊天出问题了 Fuck, now the vid chat's fucking up.
真奇怪 也不知道是谁写的代码 Odd, considering who wrote the code for it.
不是代码的问题 服务器超载了 Not the code. The server is overloaded.
怎么可能 知道它的只有12个人吧 How is that possible? We only gave it to like 12 people.
现在使用的人可多了 Well, there's a few more than that using it now.
见鬼 Holy shit.
就这事来说 理查德 For what it's worth, Richard,
我认为你做得对 I think you did the right thing.
我理解你为什么不找我们拿钱 And I can see now why you didn't want to come to us for funding.
你是想保护我们 You were trying to protect us.
是啊 Yeah.
这我很感激 Well, I really appreciate it.
劳里想退出 Uh, Laurie wants out.
就算是一点欺诈行为 风投公司都认为是死罪 Even a whiff of fraud is a mortal sin for VCs.
她想把'魔笛手'撇得一干二净 She needs to wash her hands of any Pied Piper business.
她要强行卖出 She's forcing a sale.
见鬼 Fuck.
太讨厌了 Yeah, frick.
是啊 Yeah.
但这是开放式拍卖 But it is an open auction,
而且对比虚假数据 and, you know, between the fraudulent numbers
和真实数据 and the real numbers,
你们还没做得很过分 you guys aren't exactly killing it out there.
所以还是有可能没人竞标 So, there is a chance that no one will bid
也许你们还能买回自己的公司 and you might be able to buy back your own company
总比没了好 for next to nothing.
这行不通 That will have to be for literally nothing
因为我们没钱了 because we're out of money.
老天 你们没事吧 Jesus! Are you okay?
没事 Yeah, we're fine.
好了 我把几个服务器都连起来了 All right, I spun together a few more servers.
这样应该能承受得住流量 That should handle the traffic.
看这个 在格列布附近 Look at this. There are 157 people
有157个人在使用 using it near Gleb.
在波士顿的塔拉附近有400个人在使用 And 400 people using it near Tara in Boston.
是啊 我告诉她要介绍给她的教会朋友 Yeah, I told her to give it to her Satanist friends out there.
看来她真的做了 Looks like she did.
她在波士顿认识四百个教徒 She knows 400 Satanists in Boston?
那个天主教教堂确实人数众多 The Catholic church really did a number on that town.
埃利希 记得吉尔弗约尔说过 Hey, Erlich, remember when Gilfoyle said that
我的视频聊天应用软件就是一坨屎 my video chat app was a piece of shit
根本不会有人用吗 and that nobody would ever use it?
他错了 已经有四千次的使用量了 Well, he was wrong. Over 4,000 times.
你是用'魔笛手'的知识产权做的开发对吧 Wow, and you developed that with the Pied Piper IP, right?
那你可以和它说再见了 Well, then you can kiss that goodbye.
操 Oh, fuck.
说到这个 我现在花的是 Speaking of, I'm actually using
我博客的第一笔意外之财 the first dollars of my blog windfall
去卡尼奇达姆静修地旅行 on a trip to Kainchi Dham Ashram
一个现代朝圣中心
在印度的奈尼塔尔 in Nainital, India,
斯蒂芬·乔布斯在那寻求过安宁 非常出名 where Steve Jobs famously sought peace
然后想出了'丽萨'这一产品项目 and came up with the idea for a little product called the Lisa.
1983年苹果推出的第一台个人电脑
祝你好运 Good luck.
理查德 我希望今天之内 Richard, I'll expect you off the premises
你能搬离这栋房子 by end of day.
莫妮卡 Monica.
-回见 -好的 - I'll see you later. - Okay.
你可以在这住上一整年 还不用交房租 You know, you can stay here for one year. Free rent.
杨靖 Jian-Yang!
劳里 Laurie!
盖文 Gavin.
你一定认识杰克 You know Jack, of course.
是的 That is correct.
盖文 我们打开天窗说亮话吧[屋里的大象] Um, Gavin, can we address the elephant in the room?
-什么大象 -'魔笛手' - Sorry? - Pied Piper.
对 是的 Right. Yes, of course.
我被迫卖出 I am forcing a sale.
你的'蚁穴'显示 Your Maleant dealings demonstrate
你还在做发散法 that you're still pursuing a middle-out.
你有兴趣出个价吗 Might you be interested in placing a bid?
他为什么要救'拉维加' Why would he want to bail out Raviga?
你亲口说过 You said it yourself,
我们的压缩算法很有希望 our compression play is thriving.
有道理 Fair enough.
知道吗 我是个完美主义者 You know what? I'm a completionist.
即使我买下来也只是丢进垃圾堆 Even if I buy it just to throw it in the garbage,
我也要成为给亨德里克斯的棺材 I'd like to be the one to drive the final nail
钉上钉子的那个人 in the Hendricks coffin.
我给你出价 I'll give you...
九百美金 $900 for it?
我相信你这是在讲笑话 I believe that is a joke.
知道吗 我喜欢漂亮的整数 You know what? I like nice, round numbers.
那就... Make it...
一百万 a million?
一百万美元 A million dollars?
盖文·贝尔森以一百万收购'魔笛手' Gavin Belson gets to buy Pied Piper for $1 million
'拉维加'以清算优先权获得全部款项 and Raviga gets all of it because of their liquidation preference
而我什么都没有 and I get jack shit?
你说的是这个意思吗 天哪 Is that what you're telling me? Goddamn it.
我知道你最不希望以这种方式收场 I know this is the last way that you wanted it to end.
真的很抱歉 I'm really sorry.
那我们董事会上见 Yeah, well, I-- I'll see you at the meeting.
用的是互利聊天吗 Is that Hooli-Chat?
他们是维护了还是做了什么 They fix it or something?
看起来高大上了不少 That didn't look shitty at all.
其实 这是我们的软件 Actually, it's-- it's ours.
大家一起弄好了 Um, the guys hacked it together.
如果你要 我可以邀请你 I can send you an invite if you want.
好啊 谢谢 Yeah. Cool. Thanks.
我们总共获得了四千用户 We got up to 4K users totally organically.
天哪 现在是七千了 Oh, shit! 7K now.
我们早应该关注这个了 Wow, we should have been focusing on this instead.
那不重要了 Not that it matters.
一个小时之后 这些都将会成为 I mean, it's all gonna be property of Gavin Belson
盖文·贝尔森的财产了 in an hour, so.
挺讽刺的 That's ironic, huh?
不 真的 我是问你 是吗 N-- no, for real, I'm asking. Is it?
不知道 我只是微笑而已 I don't know. I was just smiling.
感觉挺讽刺的 Feels ironic.
谢谢你 Hey, uh, so thank you for, uh...
-让我留在这 -没事 - letting me stay here. - No worries.
斯蒂夫说你可以顶替我睡这边的沙发上 Steve says you're welcome to take my spot on the couch
直到你找到新工作 找到新房子 until you can find a job and get your own place.
谢谢 Thanks.
那你爸什么时候来接你 So, uh, when's your dad coming to pick you up?
大概几个小时后吧 Uh, a couple of hours I guess.
然后我们就掉头回菲尼克斯 Then we're turning right around and going back to Phoenix.
他说他希望 You know, he said he wants to be able to
我和我的钱能在他看得到的地方 keep an eye on me and my money
然后我得去找一份真正的工作 and that I need to get a real job
了解辛劳工作一整天的价值 to learn the value of a-- of a hard day's night
或者诸如此类的东西 or something like that.
我差不多要去参加董事会了 Well, um, I should probably get going to this board meeting.
等我回来你可能也走了 所以... Um, and you're probably gonna be gone when I'm back, so...
-大概就这样了吧 -是吧 - guess this is it. - Yeah, I guess so.
再见 See ya.
-好的 -好 - Okay. - Okay.
-好了 哥们 -就这样吧 - All right. Cool, man. - There we go.
理查德 即使这是最后一次董事会议 Richard, e-- even though it's the last board meeting
而且根本没有意义 and-- and essentially meaningless,
谢谢你让我参加会议 thank you for letting me be a part of it.
我深感荣幸 It's an honor.
好了 你不用一直这么说 Okay, you don't have to keep saying that.
你们好 各位 这次会议会很简短 Good day, all. This should be brief.
议程表上的唯一项目就是 The only item on the agenda is,
当然就是 批准 of course, the authorization
将'魔笛手'出售给目前出价最高者 of the sale of Pied Piper to the current high bidder.
三张赞成票算通过 Three "Yes" votes will approve the sale.
由于'拉维加'有董事会的三个名额 And as Raviga controls three of the board seats,
-看来 -抱歉 我... - it seems-- - I'm sorry. I--
我不会同意 I'm not doing it.
莫妮卡 再给你一次机会 Oh, Monica, not again.
对不起 但是理查德已经很努力了 I'm sorry, but look, Richard has worked too hard
我知道我阻止不了 但是我不会投赞同票 and I know that I can't stop it, but I'm not gonna vote
让'魔笛手'变成那个混蛋的财产 to let Pied Piper become the property of that asshole.
莫妮卡 我刚好也发现他挺卑鄙的 Monica, I also happen to find him contemptible.
但是'魔笛手'将卖给出价最高者 就这样 But Pied Piper will be sold to the high bidder, period.
知道吗 我不在乎 You know what? I don't care.
你要炒了我 那就炒了我吧 You want to fire me, fire me.
如果我们不能坚持彼得·格里高利宣导的 If we're not gonna adhere to the values
价值观 那我觉得我不属于这里 that Peter Gregory instilled, then I don't think I belong here.
莫妮卡 你没必要做到这个份上 Monica, you don't have to do this.
-我不投赞同票 -很好 开你出董事会 - I'm not voting yes. - Very well. You're off the board.
不好意思 先生 Excuse me! Man!
你在这上班吗 Do you work here?
这其实是我第一天入职 Well, it was my first day actually.
-大家都非常善... -坐 - Everybody's been super ni-- - Sit.
你现在正式成为'魔笛手'董事会成员了 You are now officially on the board of directors of Pied Piper.
啊好 那好吧 Oh, okay. That's fine I guess.
等我点到你 你就投赞成票 When I point to you, you will vote yes.
现在我提议就出售'魔笛手'发起投票 Now, I move to vote on the sale of Pied Piper.
我投赞成 I vote yes.
以及埃文 And Evan.
埃文 Evan?
我做不到 I can't do it.
什么 为什么 What? Why?
因为 Because...
莫妮卡 Monica?
我爱你 I love you.
就这样 我说了 There. I said it.
我绝对不会做让你伤心的事 And I could never do anything to make you sad.
娘了个蛋蛋 Oh, for fuck's sake!
非得要我把前台招待叫进来吗 Do I have to pull the receptionist in here?
这跟正常的董事会会议有法比吗 How does this compare with a typical board meeting?
好了停下 大家 别吵了 All right, stop. Everybody, just stop.
我们都知道结果会怎样 We all know how this is gonna go,
所以早死早超生 好吗 so let's just get it over with. All right?
那我投赞成 就这样 Um, I vote yes. There.
好了吧 我批准出售了 Okay? I approve the sale.
三票赞成 可以散会了吧 Three "Yes" Votes. Can this please just be done?
很好 Very well.
-我也投赞成 -无所谓了 - I vote yes also. - Irrelevant.
不过还是多谢 But thank you.
出售决议通过 The sale is approved.
'魔笛手'品牌及其名下的所有资产 Pied Piper, its IP, and all of its assets
现在正式属于'巴赫头有限责任公司'了 are now officially the property of Bachmanity, LLC.
等等 慢着 你 Wait, sorry, did--
你刚才说'巴赫头' did you just say "Bachmanity"?
是指埃利希·巴赫曼和尼尔森·达头蒂吗 As in Erlich Bachman and Nelson Bighetti?
是的 你认识他们 Yes, you know them.
他们 等等 他们出价最高 They-- wait, they-- they had the highest bid?
我在大约30分钟前接到了电话 I received a telephone call approximately 30 minutes ago
对方出价一百万零一美元 entering a bid of one million and one dollars
并附加禁止出售条款 with a firm no-shop clause.
所以当你说出价购买'魔笛手'的人 So when you were referring to the person who bought Pied Piper
是个可耻的混蛋的时候 你指的是埃利希 as a contemptible asshole, you were talking about Erlich?
不然你们以为我指的是哪个可耻的混蛋 To which contemptible asshole did you think I was referring?
盖文·贝尔森 Gavin Belson.
这样啊 并不是 I see. No.
本次会议到此结束 This meeting is adjourned.
多谢各位拨冗出席 I thank you all for your time.
那么 就卖给巴赫头了 So... Bachmanity it is.
太好了 That's good.
那么 我们俩要不要正经谈谈 So... should we give this thing a shot?
你和大头是吧 You and Big Head, huh?
抱歉你不得不取消行程 sorry you had to cancel your trip.
我真的非常感激这一切 And look, I-- I really appreciate all this.
我真的认为这个视频聊天 I really think this video chat thing is gonna
真的会成功的 对不对 be something, you know?
-我不知道你看没看数字 -你想看数字 - I don't know if you've seen the numbers. - You want a number?
我他妈在乎你的百分比是零 The percentage I give a fuck about you, zero.
稳定走低 It's trending steady.
而且我当然看了用户数 And of course I've seen the numbers.
真的有商机 This is a business opportunity.
仅此而已 大头是你的朋友 Nothing more. Big Head was your friend.
其实是他 说服我加入的 He was the one that, uh, talked me into it.
我不信任你 理查德·亨德里克斯 I don't trust you, Richard Hendricks.
而且要过很久 很久 很久 And it's gonna take a long, long, long time
这份信任才会恢复 to regain my trust.
我说明白了吗 Are we clear?
我说得十分明白了吗 Are we absolutely clear?
一直蓝色 一直蓝色 Always blue! Always blue!
一直蓝色 一直... Always blue! Alway-- Aah!
你真差劲 You suck.
糟了 又是我老爸 Oh, fuck, it's my dad again.
他肯定要气死了 He's gotta be so pissed.
我真的不相信会这样 哥几个 I can't believe this is happening, you guys.
看来我们成了一家视频聊天公司了 I mean, I guess now we're a video chat company,
但最棒的是我们说了算 but the best part of it is it's us, you know?
我们完全掌握了自己的命运 Just us controlling our own destiny.
不 最棒的是我拥有一半股权 No, the best part of it is I own 50%.
的确 Well, yes,
你和大头确实拥有整个公司 um, you and Big Head do own the entire company,
但我是创始人 是我的算法 but I am the founder, it's my algorithm,
所以我应该能拿回我的原始股权吧 so I'm assuming I'm getting my original shares back, right?
你为什么会这么想 Why would you assume that?
当一家技术公司重组的时候 Well, when a tech company reboots,
一般来说会组织一次会议 it's normal to have a-- a conversation
来确定股权分配的结构 about restructuring the cap table.
好 因为是我一手制作了这个视频聊天应用 Good, 'cause I'm the guy that hacked together the video chat app
来看妹子漂不漂亮 所以 to see if that woman was hot, so...
是 但是你的版本反响平平 Yeah, but it's not gonna scale
直到我出手把你差劲的代码都替换掉 until I get in there and scrape all the Dinesh off.
劳里还没把我召回去 Well, Laurie still hasn't called me back,
所以我可能也需要一份新工作 so I may need a new job.
而且我估计'魔笛手'付不起我的薪水 And I'm assuming Pied Piper can't afford my salary,
所以我也要股权 so I'll need stock.
我们真的还要沿用'魔笛手'这个名字吗 Do we really want it to be called Pied Piper anymore?
当然 当然要 我们当然要 No, yes. Of cour-- of-- of course we want--
我们为什么要改名字 多大气啊 Why do we want to change the name? It's great.
是啊 我们连周边外套都制作好了 Yeah, and we do already have the jackets.
大头啊 Big. Head.
大头 Big Head.
我是埃利希 Go for Erlich.
埃利希·巴赫曼 我是变老的你 Erlich Bachman, this is you as an old man.
我丑得快死了 没人陪着我 I'm ugly and I'm dead. Alone.
这次我就让他得逞了吧 I'm gonna let him have this one.
那好吧 All right, uh...
我真的为你难过 未来的我 well, I'm sorry to hear that, Future Me.
你命真的好苦 What a terrible thing.
我过几年再跟你聊 I'll talk to you in several years.
该你了 You're up.
一直蓝色 一直蓝色 Always blue! Always blue!
一直蓝色 Always blue!