桌子 Tables.
人可以坐在桌旁工作 Tables are made so a person can sit down and do something.
也可以享受时光 Or nothing.
任何人都可以坐在桌旁 Any person can sit at a table,
如果桌子够大 人们可以围坐在旁 and if the table is large enough, many people.
尽情欢笑 享受美食 互相分享 To make jokes, eat a meal, tell stories.
人们可以在桌旁相聚分享 Tables are for people to be together and share.
这正如'魔笛手' And that is why tables are like Pied Piper.
西柚 明信片 拥抱 Grapefruits, postcards, hugs.
这些事物让人们通过分享而彼此接近 These are things people share to connect, to come closer.
敞开心扉 享受人生 To open up about ideas and things that make us feel alive,
正如空气 芭蕾 好发型 奇异国度 like air, ballet, amazing haircuts, weird countries,
超辣辣酱 高山 七大洲 地球 生命 three-alarm chili, mountains, continents, the Earth, life.
生命美好又忧伤 充满希望和危险 Life is beautiful and sad and hopeful and dangerous.
因为我们明白 没有分享 So maybe the reason we share so much
就无法生存 is because we understand that without sharing,
所以我们分享 we can't survive.
这正如坐在桌旁 And sharing is tables.
'魔笛手'
庆祝五十万安装
'魔笛手' Pied Piper.
桌子 我懂了 这是个隐喻 Yes. Tables. I see. It's a metaphor.
这个广告真棒 我们不过是个桌子 It's a wonderful ad spot. Yeah. We're all just tables.
我喜欢你的装潢 I love what you've done with the place.
弄得真不错 It's a really nicely done place.
那是你的狗吗 Say, is that your dog?
只是一只狗 It's a dog.
咱俩之间没啥共鸣 对吧 You and I have never really had much of a rapport, have we?
确实没有 It's... wanting.
看 Oh, look.
马上就到了 大家做好准备围过来 Well, we're almost there. Prepare to gather, everyone.
不 不是围过来 是做好准备 No, I didn't say to gather. I simply said prepare to gather.
进门脱鞋
- 莫妮卡 - 你怎么样 - Monica, hey. - Oh, hey. How's it going?
- 你没事吧 - 不完全是 - You holding up okay? - Not really.
我知道 她的趴体通常都很诡异 I know. Her parties are always deeply weird.
也没有更好的时机说这个了 Hey, um, I guess this is as good a time as any to say it,
但我很抱歉我没能理解'魔笛手' but, um, I'm really sorry for not getting Pied Piper.
说实话 我能错得这么彻底也是丢人 And to be honest, it's really embarrassing to be so fucking wrong.
问题是 你可能没错 Well, here's the thing, you, uh, you might not be.
什么 你在说什么 What? What are you talking about?
这么说吧 okay. So, well,
'魔笛手'推出后一切都不错 Pied Piper launches and everything's great,
我们刚花了一大笔钱买了这个广告 and we spent a fucking bazillion dollars, on the Tables ad
我们现在快有五十万安装量了 and now we are almost at 500,000 installs, right?
- 对 有什么问题吗 - 你也知道 - Yeah. What's the problem? - Well, as you know,
安装量并不重要 installs isn't really the metric that matters.
我们需要每日活跃用户 人们需要经常使用 We need daily active users, people who come back to the platform.
所以你们有多少活跃用户 Okay, so how many daily users do you actually have?
我说什么数会让你说 Okay, what would-- what would be a number
这还真挺糟的 that would make you say, "Ugh, oh, that's bad."
不知道 十万左右 I don't know, like, 100,000?
比这少吗 Are you less?
少多少 How much less?
- 一万九 - 比十万少一万九 19,000. - 19-- 19,000 less than a hu--
- 那是八万一 - 不 就一万九 - 81,000? - No. No, just 19,000.
-就这个数 -什么 - That's the only number. - What?
-这太糟了 -我知道 - That's-- that's terrible. - Yeah. I'm aware.
那是艺术 不是椅子 Well, yeah, that's art, not a chair.
理查德 你还没告诉劳里吧 Richard! Oh, my-- well, you haven't told Laurie yet, have you?
-没有 -还有谁知道 - No. - Okay. Well, who else knows?
-迪尼希和吉尔弗约尔 -不知道 Dinesh and Gilfoyle? - No.
埃利希 Erlich?
不知道 No.
显然贾里德知道 Well, apparently Jared knows.
第
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九
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硅
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本蓝光版外挂字幕由 风吹来的那片云 用HDTV版调轴
虽然人们是因为'魔笛手'才知道我 Yeah, Pied Piper's sort of what I'm known for,
原创翻译 双语字幕
■
仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆www.ZiMuZu.tv
但我还热爱很多其它酷的事 but I'm into a lot of cool stuff.
有很多 Like, a lot.
■
翻译: 熊猫 elflife 江湖人称王姑娘
你看着很惊讶 You seem surprised.
我给你举个例子 几个月前 I'll give you an example. A few months ago,
翻译: 王二川 西之 somehacker
我在电脑前自由编码 I'm at my computer, freestyling,
跟着灵感走 just kind of jammin' out, you know,
在我还没意识到以前 before I knew it I had thrown together
校对: 熊猫 somehacker
我做出了有史以来最伟大的视频通话软件 the greatest video-chat app the world has ever seen.
时间轴: 查滚滚 Avis
你几个月前发明了Skype So you invented Skype a few months ago?
好点子随时出现在我脑海中 Great ideas just sort of flow through me.
后期: 污里海海
平台算是团队合作的结果 The platform, you know, it's sort of a group project,
但视频通话软件是我的个人杰作 but, uh, the video-chat app, that's my solo album.
总监： 没用的傻熊猫
-我是罗伯特 -我是迪尼希 Oh, Robert. - I'm Dinesh.
你他妈怎么回事 What the fuck is going on with you?
你能说具体点吗 Hmm? Could you be more specific?
你有事瞒着我 You're hiding something.
什么 不我没有 What? No, I'm not.
啥事没有 真的 啥都没有 Everything's fine. You know, everything's fine.
你在骗人 That's a lie.
我能分辨 I can tell because you subscribe
因为你对对错的信仰建立在基督信仰上 to traditional Judeo-Christian mores of right and wrong.
你一说谎就浑身不舒服 You're made uncomfortable by untruth.
而我对恶魔的崇拜让我更随意 My commitment to LaVeyan Satanism grants me certain freedoms.
没有善恶 只有自我 There is no good and evil, there's only self.
-你要喝点啥嘛 -要 - Would you like a beverage? - Yes, I would.
骗子 你只是想让我走远点别烦你 Lie. You just want me to go to the bar and leave you alone.
吉尔弗...你逗死我了 Gil... you crack me up.
撒谎 Lie.
我吓死你了 也正应如此 I terrify you, as I should.
闹够了吧 Get out of here.
好的 多谢 Okay, thank you.
好了 我刚和朋友谈了 Okay, so, I just spoke with my friend
她有家市场调研公司 who runs a market research firm,
会帮你的平台组织焦点小组 she's gonna set up a focus group for the platform,
让普通用户试用一下 put it in the hands of some real users,
这样一来 哪里有问题应该很明显 and hopefully it'll be super obvious what's going wrong.
-好的 -不好意思 各位 围过来 - Okay, great. - Clink, clink, clink. Gather.
快一点 围起来 快到时候了 Faster, please. Gather faster. We're close.
我们得看着数字跳过去 We need to see the numbers change.
安装数
499995 499,995,
499996 499,996...
499997 499,997...
进展很好 目前为止他们 It's going great. Uh, they've been engaging
已经试用平台一小时了 with the platform for about an hour now.
-现在正准备开始问答 -太好了 - They're just starting the Q and A. - Uh, great.
针对'魔笛手'革命性的新平台 Thank you, everyone, for sharing your feelings
感谢各位与我们分享您的看法 on the revolutionary new Pied Piper platform.
好了 柏妮丝 你这里写到 Now, Bernice, you say here that you were...
你觉得这个平台让你超别扭 totally freaked out by the platform.
到底哪一处让你超别扭 What specifically totally freaked you out?
哪里都别扭 就是…每一处都很不爽 Everything. Just every single thing about it.
就是…整个运行方式 Just, like, how it worked.
还有哪位也觉得 Now, who else found themselves
这个平台让人超别扭 totally freaked out by this platform?
巴里 沃伦 娜塔莉 马提娜 Barry, Warren, Natalie, Martina,
格温 艾米 沃克 和克雷 Gwen, Amy, Walker, and Clay.
你们都觉得超别扭 You were all totally freaked out.
有哪位不觉得别扭吗 Was anyone not totally freaked out?
克拉克吗 好的 你对此什么反应 Clark? Good. What was your reaction?
这东西就…让我觉得自己很蠢 It just made me feel stupid.
搞不懂什么 文件同步 之类的 This file sync thing is confusing.
放视频到主文件夹 这上说上传了 When I put videos into my main folder, it says it uploaded them,
但我也不知道传哪里去了 but then I didn't see where they went.
这上说 资料也在我的手机和iPad上 It said stuff was on my phone and my iPad,
但我去查占用的内存 发现还是0K but when I looked at the memory, it said, zero K used,
说明东西没存过去 so stuff wasn't on there.
平台就是这样 就像他说的这样 That's the platform. He's describing the platform
他提到的都是优点 显然他没懂 and what's great about it. Well, clearly he doesn't get it.
他们都没玩懂 是这组人的问题吧 clearly none of these people get it. Maybe this is a bad group.
这是今天第五组了 This is the fifth one today
已经我们收到反应最温和的一组了 and it's the least hostile reaction we've seen.
反正我给邀请码的人都爱死测试版了 Okay, well, everyone that I showed the beta to loved it. Loved.
-该死 -怎么 - Oh, shit. - What?
你都把测试版给谁看了 Who did you give the beta to?
-你朋友 都是工程师吧 -当然 莫妮卡 - Your friends. Engineers. - Well, yeah, Monica.
我希望看测试版的人理解我 I wanted to give it to people who would understand
知道我想做什么 好得到有效反馈 what I'm trying to do, so I could get useful feedback.
而且不是我说 我也给你看了 And with all due respect, I gave it to you,
你是唯一一个没有编程背景的 the one person without a computing background,
结果你就说 觉得太机械刻板了 and you said it felt engineered.
-该死 -没错 - Oh, shit. - Yeah.
你想向普通人推广平台 You're trying to sell the platform to regular people,
但你从来没让普通人用过这个平台 but you never actually put it in the hands of regular people.
比如他们 Like them.
不该有个下载按钮吗 Shouldn't there be a download button?
他们是真忘记加下载按钮了吗 Did they honestly forget to add a download button?
其实 理查德 我们不如... You know what, Richard, why don't we just go...
说起来 到底谁设计的这玩意儿 I mean, who designed this thing?
我 我设计的 I did. I designed it.
不好意思 您哪位 Excuse me? Who are you?
我叫理查德·亨德里克斯 '魔笛手'CEO Uh, my name is Richard Hendricks, I'm the CEO of Pied Piper.
老天 Oh, my God.
是吗 就是忘记加下载按钮的那个 Oh, you're the one who forgot the download button.
没错 Yes.
不对 也不是 But no. No, actually,
其实平台没有下载按钮 there is no download button because, um, well,
因为根本不需要 那都是过去式了 you don't need a download button. We're past that.
我们现在比那先进多了 其实这个人 I mean, that's the old thing. This guy, actually,
他该告诉你们的 he should have told you that.
我就是主持人 不是宣传者 I'm a moderator, not an advocate.
总之 有了'魔笛手' Okay, well, with Pied Piper,
你再也不用下载或传送任何东西了 you don't need to download anything or send anything at all, anywhere,
当你拍下一张照片 或一段视频 because the second you take a photo or a video
或写一段短信 or compose a text message,
这些资料会即时送达你所有的设备 it's on all of your devices instantly.
-都在我手机里了吗 -没错 - So it's all on my phone? - Yes.
不对 这上显示占用0K内存 所以没在 Wrong! It says zero K used, so it's not on there.
是吧 这就是我们平台的精髓了 Yes, well, that's the best part about the platform right there.
没错 你说得对 的确没存在手机里 Yes, uh, because you're right, it's not actually on the phone.
但其实你也不需要资料实质在手机里 But you don't need it to be on the phone
只要你能在手机上浏览就好了 if you can see it on the phone,
尽管手机里什么都没存 也没关系 even though there's nothing there at all.
那…东西传哪里去了 But... where the hell is it?
到处都是 Everywhere.
但也哪儿都不在 其实 And nowhere, sort of.
不如我退一步 用个简单的方法 Let me, uh, let me just take a step back here
解释一下 and explain it in a simpler way.
-你叫什么来着 -柏妮丝 - Um, sorry, what was your name? - Bernice.
柏妮丝 你早餐吃了什么 Bernice. What did you have for breakfast today?
-炒蛋 -炒蛋 - Scrambled eggs. - Scrambled eggs.
那鸡蛋里有什么呢 And what's in the eggs?
电子 对吧 Electrons. Right?
我们都知道电子在轨道中的状态 And we all know how electrons exist in orbitals.
多价化合 不懂吗 Multivalent states? No?
没人知道 好吧 No one knows this? Okay.
没关系 例子不好 怪我 Okay, that's fine. Bad example. That's on me.
我用一下白板 I'll... I'm going to use the whiteboard here.
你们会喜欢这个的 You're gonna... you're gonna love this. Okay.
一旦我们有了海量用户 Then, once we hit a critical mass of users,
系统中海量的数据 the volume of data moving through the system
就会触发神经网络去优化系统 will enable the neural net to start optimizing the platform.
它自己就会变得更聪明 更快速 It will actually get smarter and faster all on its own.
好像我发短信时 Is that like when I'm texting
手机会猜我想说的话那样吗 and my phone starts guessing what I'm going to say?
这完全超越了自动输入补全 This goes way beyond autocomplete.
事实上 你们所有的设备都会互相帮助 Actually, all of your devices will begin helping each other
超乎我们的设计和预测 in ways that we can't even design or predict.
但问题在于 终结者 Okay, but see, the problem is... Terminator.
什么 不 不 What? No. No, no. No, no, no. No.
我保证不会出现"天网"那样的事 I can assure there is no Skynet type of situation here.
不会 '魔笛手'绝对不会 No. Pied Piper will in no way
产生知觉 试图掌控世界 become sentient and try to take over the world.
他刚说过无法预测 He just told us he couldn't predict it.
我只想说 所有人都死了 I'm just saying... everybody died.
-对 -你说得对 - Mm-hm, yeah. - You're right.
那种电影里有大量人员伤亡 In those movies, there were a lot of casualties.
想想就吓人 真是值得咀嚼 Quite scary to think. It's food for thought.
说到 Speaking of...
我们能来点披萨吗 Can we order some pizzas in here?
我们把文件放到'魔笛手'文件夹中后 So, when we put our files into a Pied Piper folder,
他们被切分成细小的碎片 they get split up into tiny bits
然后通过网络四散到其他用户的设备中去 and spread across a network of other users' devices?
对 那是端对端分布 继续 Yes, that's, uh, peer-to-peer distribution. Continue.
但压根他们看不到我们的文件 But they can't look at any of our files
因为他们只有细小混杂的碎片 because they only have tiny, scrambled pieces of them?
- 加密分片 -克拉克补充得好 - Encrypted sharding. - Clark with the assist. Great.
-继续 -但我们能随时随地调阅自己的文件 - Uh, go on. - But we can look at any of our files anytime,
哪怕它不在我们的设备上 anywhere even though they're not actually on any of our devices.
对 柏妮丝 就是这样 Yes. Yes, Bernice, that's it.
这就是'魔笛手' 这就是一切 That's Pied Piper. That's everything.
虽然它似乎不在手机上 但其实是在的 So it's all on our phones even though it sort of isn't.
天呐 太牛了 Oh, my God. That's awesome.
对吧 对吧 Isn't it? Yeah.
你们觉得怎样 现在愿意用'魔笛手'了吗 So, uh, what do you think? Will you use Pied Piper now?
-我会 -我也是 - Well, yeah, I think I will. - Me, too,
-听明白你的解释了 -这就对了 - now that you've explained how it works. - There you go.
要的就是这个效果 That's what we've been aiming for.
他们懂了 They get it!
他笑什么 What's he smiling at?
他一进这个屋子就毁掉了所有的数据 This data was corrupted the second he walked in that room.
我们不行了 因为我们太好了 So we're tanking, and it's because we're too good.
这是个角度 对 That's one way of looking at it. Uh, yes.
我们的产品领先时代太多 Yes, we have created a product so far ahead of its time,
所以人们很难理解 people are having difficulty wrapping their heads around it.
魔笛手
那我们改一下平台就好了 对吧 Well, then we just need to change the platform, right?
-简化一下 -不行 - We simplify it. - Well, we can't.
不是我们不想 It's not as if I don't want to,
只是真的不能这么做 it's just that we literally can't do it.
如果你想造一架飞机 Um, if you build an airplane
但人们害怕任何飞行的东西 and people are afraid of anything that flies,
你不能把机翼拆了 you can't just take the wings off of it,
因为那样就它就只是一辆奇慢无比 because, at that point, all you're left with is a really slow,
超级昂贵的破大巴 super expensive shitty bus.
不 我们造出来飞机 就必须飞起来 No, uh, we built an airplane, we got to fly it.
但如果连乘客都没有 还飞毛啊 What's the point of flying if it's fucking empty?
只要人们意识到平台有多酷以后 I think people will want to fly
他们会想飞的 once they realize how cool the platform is.
大家伙 我知道现在情况比较艰难 Guys, I know we're in a tough spot right now,
我也知道我们还需要25万日活跃用户 and I know we needed a quarter million DAU's
才能拿到下一轮融资 但就这样了 in order to get our next round of funding, but this is it.
我们能做到 我们要做的 I think we can do this. All we got to do
就是用尽全部资金 is just take every last dollar that we have,
也就是 贾里德 还有多少 which is, uh... Sorry, uh, Jared, what?
好吧 付了桌子广告 Well, after the Table ads,
薪酬 招聘费之后 the salaries, recruiter fees...
这样吧 我还没算数据 You know what? I haven't run the numbers.
这么估测太不负责了 It would be irresponsible to estimate.
好 不足50万吗 Okay, uh, is it less than a million dollars?
-天啊 是啊 -好 - Oh, God, yeah. - Okay.
-比50万多 是吗 -对 - It's higher than 500,000, right? - Yeah.
差不多有697,240块 I guess it's about $697,240.
但不是百分之百准确 But don't quote me on that.
我们用这些钱去做拓展 使用指导 Okay, we use that money to do outreach, tutorials,
用户会议 举办游击战式市场推广活动 user meetups, uh, create a guerrilla marketing campaign
来展示平台有多酷 that explains how cool the platform is.
我知道这并不理想 但 I know it's not ideal, but,
我真心认为我们能办到 um, I really think we can pull this off.
对 看着可行 Yeah, that seems doable.
撒谎 Lie.
我有个别的想法 我们暂停平台 Or here's another idea: We could put the platform on hold,
把剩下的钱用来建设一个 take the money we have left and pivot to something
不需要解释好久的东西 that doesn't require hours of explanation.
我一直在给别人看我写出来的 You know, I've been showing people the video-chat app
-视频聊天软件 -闭嘴 迪尼希 - that I hacked together and... - Shut up, Dinesh!
一群不知感恩的混蛋 You ungrateful pricks, all of you.
你们队我们无畏的老板漫不经心的回复 Your tepid response to our intrepid boss
真让我恶心 makes me ill.
他的计划能成吗 His plan, will it work?
几乎肯定不行 Almost certainly not.
你们所有人在回顾这一年时 All of you will likely look back at this time in your lives
应该都会意识到自己什么成果都没有 and realize you wasted a whole year with nothing to show for it.
但如果这家公司是架飞机 But if this company is a plane,
那也是理查德的飞机 then this is Richard's goddamn plane,
他想开着飞机撞山 and if he wants to fly it in the side of a fucking mountain,
那也是他的权力 我们也要跟着他 that is his prerogative and it is our duty to climb on,
系好安全带 死得轰轰烈烈 strap in and have a fiery death right behind him.
我不 我也不清楚 I don't-- I don't know about that, but--
理查德 交给你了 Richard, the floor.
不说撞山什么的 这就是我们的计划 Crashing aside, I think this is the plan and, uh,
我们还有其他选择吗 really, what other option do we have?
我知道我有什么选择 Well, I know what option I have.
我可以辞职 我辞职了 I can quit. So I quit.
好吧 还有别人吗 Okay. Any... anybody else?
大伙别这样 Guys, no.
道格拉斯 Look, Douglas,
这个计划非常需要客服人员 customer support is going to be a big part of this.
有了25万用户 我们非常需要你们的 We need you guys if we're going to get 250,000 users.
哪有什么客户需要我服务的 理查德 I barely have any customers to support, Richard.
你想得到那么多用户 And the only way you're going to get that many users
只能找个孟加拉的刷流量店 is if you go to one of those click farms in Bangladesh
掏钱买用户吧 and pay for them.
祝你好运吧 我走了 Good fuckin' luck, man. I'm out.
各位 等等 Guys, wait.
贾里德 让他们走吧 Jared, let them go.
他们离职我得跟进谈话 I have to do their exit interviews.
他们去找车的路上我也可以谈 I guess I can do them on their walk to their cars.
理查德 没了他们更好 Richard, we're better off without them.
撒谎 Lie.
真是受不了 我承受不了那么多 This is intolerable. A man can only take so much.
被赶出自己的公司 不行 Banished from my own company? No.
他们想要什么我就给什么 我辞职 I'm just going to give them what they want. I'm going to resign.
去海地 建孤儿院 We can go to Haiti, build orphanages.
海地 Haiti?
不是有句话说 要放眼天下 着手眼前 Is it not said that one should think globally and act locally?
我没着什么手 I'm not acting at all.
老子教导 最好的战士从不发火 Lao Tzu teaches the best fighter is never angry.
比出击更重要的 是出击的时机 More important than the blow is knowing when to strike.
比如我们去爱达伦 Like, perhaps, after we experience
体验过高级水上漂流之后吧 the executive white water rafting trip in Coeur D'Alene?
盖文 你有时间吗 Gavin, do you have a moment?
有 Yes.
单独聊聊 Alone?
当然 丹波克 Of course. Denpok?
怎么了 What?
我们单独聊聊可以吗 Give us a moment, please?
盖文 我真的不该跟你聊天 Gavin, I'm really not supposed to be talking to you,
但有些事我觉得你该知道 but there's something I think you should know about.
说吧 I'm listening.
'魔笛手'之前的一名客服 A customer service rep that just left Pied Piper
现在在这里面试 is on campus right now interviewing for a job.
现在怎么会有人离开'魔笛手' Why would anyone leave Pied Piper now?
你要不要亲自问一下 I thought maybe you'd want to ask him yourself.
干得漂亮 漂亮 Well done. Well done.
感谢你来面试 道格拉斯 Okay. Thank you for coming in, Douglas.
这边请 好了 Yeah. Right this way. Okay.
道格拉斯 Douglas.
想想负鼠 大自然的... Consider the possum. Nature's...
盖文 你要是再在这里提动物 Gavin, if you're bringing another animal into this board room,
我们就走 this meeting is over.
当然不会 我怎么能那样 Of course not. Don't insult me.
互利董事会的各位 Gentlemen and lady of the Hooli board,
我说的负鼠就是我 I am the possum to which I refer.
装死好骗过想害我的人 Playing dead to outwit those who wish me harm.
但我的伪装也到头了 But it's time to end the charade.
抱歉 盖文 什么伪装 I'm sorry, Gavin. What charade?
数个月以来 我让全世界都以为 For months, I've led the world to believe
我的'尾帧'部门试图建立一个 that my Endframe division was pursuing
能广泛应用的压缩平台 a broad-based compression platform
直接与'魔笛手'竞争 in direct competition with Pied Piper.
但其实暗地里 我知道这种平台肯定会失败 But secretly, I knew that any such platform was destined to fail.
可'魔笛手'没失败 But Pied Piper is not failing.
现在是互利应用商店最火的应用 It's the most popular app in the Hooli store.
安装次数最多的之一 是啊 One of the most installed, yes.
我刚好知道 因为这该是我的职责 But I happen to know, because I make it my business to know,
他们的日活非常不乐观 that their daily active user numbers are abysmal.
你就从没想开发平台 So, you were never developing a platform.
怎么不早说 Why didn't you tell us this?
您这位董事会主席 Says the chairperson of the board
最近还要我辞职来着 that recently asked for my resignation.
信任是双方的 Trust cuts both ways.
我觉得你们最好不要参与 I thought it best to leave you out of it.
抱歉 盖文 I'm sorry, Gavin.
我真是觉得难以相信 I'm just finding all of this impossible to believe.
如果你从来没打算建平台 If you were never building a platform,
那我们的七亿五千万美金花到哪儿去了 what did we just spend three-quarters of a billion dollars on?
我不告诉你们 I'm not going to tell you.
我准备让'互利'和'尾帧'的 Instead, I'm going to let the new head of product
新任产品总监来告诉你们 for Hooli/Endframe tell you.
你们好 各位 Hello, everyone.
我叫杰克·巴克 I'm Jack Barker,
我十分激动地向大家介绍 and I'm very excited to introduce
'互利'和'尾帧'最新的产品... Hooli/Endframe's newest product...
我们叫它 盒子 We call it The Box.
'魔笛手'的损失就是'互利'的获益 Pied Piper's loss is Hooli's gain.
希望最棒的产品胜出 May the best product win.
消费电子展
要我们的汗衫吗 先生 给您 Can I get you a shirt, sir? There you go.
头条新闻 安装次数超过五十万 '魔笛手'跻身'互利'商店下载最多排行榜 客户粘性低于预期但总体情况乐观
事实上 我要问你个问题 艾米丽 Actually, let me ask you a question, uh, Emily.
理查德·亨德里克斯 '魔笛手'的创始人和CEO
你今天早晨吃了什么 What did you have for breakfast today?
-酸奶 -好的 - Um, yogurt. - Okay.
我们都清楚酸奶的成分 对吧 And, uh, we all know what's in yogurt, right?
电子 多价电子 Electrons. Multivalent states.
日活跃用户
欢迎各位参加'魔笛手'信息研讨会 Welcome to the Pied Piper Informational Seminar.
什么是'魔笛手'呢 这是个非常好的问题 Now, what is Pied Piper? Excellent question.
就在这 Here it is.
你们'互利'和'尾帧'的一个盒子 One of your Hooli/Endframe boxes
就将放在这个机架上 would go right here in this rack.
好了 我带你们去看 Okay, let me show you the next location
安装你们另一个盒子的位置 in which we would install one of your boxes.
-恭喜 杰克 -也恭喜你 盖文 - Congratulations, Jack. - And congratulations to you, Gavin.
-约翰 -约翰 - Hey, John? - John?
约翰 John?
贯穿这整场研讨会 A lot of people have raised their hands, uh,
一直有人举手发问 throughout this seminar saying,
这是不是有点像终结者 hey, is thing like the Terminator?
不 完全不一样 Uh, no. Not at all.
消除恐惧
观看我们的演示将有机会赢得全新道奇挑战者
你的文件有多大 Hi, how big are your files?
道奇挑战者 卫衣 Dodge Challenger? Hoodie?
'魔笛手'
谁会掏钱给'魔笛手' 没人会
埃利希·巴赫曼 失败剖析
'无线电器材公司'
观看我们的演示有机会赢得赛百味五美金礼品卡
约翰 John?
-约翰 -约翰 - John? - John!
这就是'魔笛手' 各位 This is Pied Piper, guys. Okay?
如果能让我再解释一遍的话 If I could just explain it one more time.
两位 拜托别走 求你们了 Guys? Please don't leave. I beg you.
柏妮丝 Hi, Bernice. Yeah.
日活跃用户
微普广告
我们还以为桌子那个创意酷毙了 We kind of thought we nailed it with Tables,
但你说你想要轻松 有趣 吸引人的东西 but you say you want something light, fun, inviting.
最重要的是 要能对平台的每个细节 But most of all, you want something that delivers
都做出逐步递进指导 a step-by-step guide to all of the nuances of your platform.
-对 -同时我们还要说明 - Yeah. - All of this with the caveat
哪怕是最低档的广告价位 你也负担不起 that you don't have enough money for even a minuscule ad buy.
是的 对 Um, yes, that's right.
这个目标还是很容易实现的 That's a pretty small target to hit.
总之 这是我们能做出来的东西 Anyway, here's what we came up with.
您好 欢迎光临'魔笛手' Oh, hello, welcome to Pied Piper.
需要帮忙吗 How can I help you?
这鬼东西叫什么名字 What in the name of fuck is that?
他叫小魔笛 Well, his name is Pipey,
'魔笛手'的吹笛人 the Pied Piper Piper.
他挺有意思的 而且演示也是互动式的 He's fun. And, uh, you know, the demo's interactive.
点击这里开始
你似乎想要压缩电影文件 Looks like you want to compress a movie file!
需要帮忙吗 在'魔笛手'革命性的 Can I help? You know, with Pied Piper's revolutionary
神经网络 优化数据碎片分配系统中 neural network, optimized, sharded data distribution system,
你只要点击六下就可以了 it's just six clicks away!
跟我来 Follow me!
我喜欢它 I like it.
-这绝对是谎话 -是的 - That's a fuckin' lie. - Yeah.
理查德 我们这个最尖端的 So, Richard, you want us to take the most sophisticated
最复杂的 首创的压缩平台上 and technically complex compression based platform
-增加这玩意 -还在这呢 - ever created and add that? - Still here!
消费电子展和西南偏南音乐节的展台之后 Well, after the booths at CES and South by Southwest,
美国德克萨斯州州府奥斯汀每年春天举办的音乐节
我们所有的外展业务 道奇挑战者... all of our outreach, the Dodge Challenger...
还在这呢 Still here!
另外 在开发过程中的所有开销 Plus, all the cost of working up, you know, this,
-我们的钱差不多用光了 -跟我来 - we are pretty much all out of money. - Follow me!
好了 Okay.
似乎有人有点懵 Somebody seems confused!
让我带你梳理一遍'魔笛手'独有的 Let me walk you through Pied Piper's proprietary
点对点容量分配系统 组成分别是... peer-to-peer content distribution system, consisting of...
理查德 你不舒服吗 Richard? Are you indisposed?
理查德 我能进来吗 Richard, can I come in?
理查德 他们不喜欢小魔笛我很抱歉 Richard, I'm-- I'm sorry the guys didn't like Pipey.
都结束了 贾里德 It's over, Jared.
有很多动画角色一开始都很艰难的 Well, you know, a lot of animated characters have rough starts.
一开始兔八哥只是画来 Early Bugs Bunny cartoons were just garish displays
反映反日歇斯底里症的 of anti-Japanese hysteria,
但他现在是华纳兄弟的代表形象了 and now he's the face of Warner Bros.
我说的不是小魔笛 贾里德 是'魔笛手' I'm not talking about Pipey, Jared. I'm talking about Pied Piper.
死定了 我们打了盖文·贝尔森 罗斯 '互利' We're dead. We fought Gavin Belson, Russ, Hooli,
官司还有那个傻盒子 the lawsuit, that fucking box,
就为了按自己的想法建我们的平台 all so we could build our platform the way we wanted to.
我们成功了 但现在我们是赢不了民意的 And we did, but I guess you just can't fight public opinion,
只有一个叫柏妮丝的女人支持 except for one woman named Bernice.
面对现实吧 贾里德 太超前也是一种错误 Face it, Jared, being too early is the same as being wrong.
-我们会解决的 -我不知道 - We'll figure it out. - I don't know if we will.
我已经不想再被打击了 Besides, I think I'm getting tired of being kicked in the balls.
没事 我们还有几周展示时间呢 Come on, we have a few weeks of runway left.
我不想说到底有多少 I don't want to say exactly how much.
也不想估计 但是... Again, I'm not comfortable estimating, but...
拿走剩下的钱大家分了吧 Take what's left of it and divide it up amongst the guys.
虽然和你们应得的遣返金比 I mean, it won't be anywhere close to
还是差了不少 what you're owed in back pay,
但也好过什么都没有 but at least it's something.
别放弃 理查德 拜托 还没到那地步 Don't give up. Richard, come on, not yet.
我们要撑住 看看事情怎么发展 We've got to hang on, we've got to see what happens.
会好转的 我知道可以的 Something will turn around. I know it will.
-你真的相信吗 -当然了 - You really believe that? - Absolutely.
吉尔弗约尔是对的 你太不会撒谎了 Gilfoyle's right, you're... you're a terrible liar.
让大家明早九点来开会吧 Just, uh, set an all-hands for tomorrow at 9 A.M.
我会告诉他们的 And I'll... I'll tell the gang.
结束了 贾里德 It's over, Jared.
最后 我们装备'蚁穴数据系统解决方案' And lastly, our deal to furnish Endframe boxes
'尾帧'盒子的协议已经敲定 to Maleant Data System Solutions has officially closed,
比董事会所给出的最高目标利润 putting us far ahead of even the most
还多了许多许多 optimistic profit targets issued by this very board.
盖文 显然我们需要和你道歉 Gavin, it appears we owe you an apology.
我们想恢复你执行总裁和董事长的所有权利 We'd like to restore your full status as CEO and chair
同时弥补给你奖金和股票期权 with a significantly revised bonus and stock options package.
谢谢 Thank you.
当然 我接受你们的歉意 Of course, apology accepted.
我最希望公司能和谐地 I would like nothing more than to move forward
繁荣地发展下去 in a harmonious and productive manner.
基于这个目标 Actually, with that in mind,
我要给你们看个东西 there's something I'd like to show you.
就在外面 可以吗 It's outside. Is... is that all right?
劳烦大家走几步 可以吗 A little field trip, if you will?
在这里 Just down here.
再走几步 A little farther.
就快到了 We're almost there.
就在外面 快到了 Just out here, everyone. Almost there.
大象怎么样 Consider the elephant.
传说它的记忆力特别强大 Legend has it its memory is so robust
从来不会忘记事情 it never forgets.
我向'互利'董事会的各位保证 And I assure you, gentlemen of the Hooli board,
我的记性也很好 and lady, neither do I.
好吧 伙计们 Okay, guys, uh,
我们要就公司的未来 we need to have a serious discussion about
进行一次严肃的探讨 the future of the company.
怎么了 你们笑什么 What? Why is everyone smiling?
理查德 昨晚有事情发生了 Richard, something happened last night.
日常活跃用户数量上涨了 涨了很多 The daily active users are up, way up.
-来看看 -真的吗 - Look at it. Look. - Really?
老天 Holy shit!
日活跃用户
我们一天就涨了7000个用户吗 Did we just get 7,000 users in a day?
当然了 我们活过来了 We sure did! We're back!
不知道是宣传活动还是教程起效了 I don't know if it was the outreach or the tutorials,
但我们似乎开始有动力了 but we seem to be getting traction.
理查德 你拉了我们一把 Richard, you pulled us out of a nosedive.
当然 不可避免地 Of course, inevitably, we will
我们会耗尽燃料落回地球 run out of fuel and plummet towards the Earth,
只留下一个血肉模糊的大坑 leaving only a crater behind of torn flesh and excrement,
但现在 我们可是在高飞啊 but in the meantime, we are flying high!
对啊 我们的确是 Yeah. I guess we are.
真疯狂 就在昨晚 You know, it's crazy, just last night I was, uh,
我还在和贾里德说我们可能要关闭公司了 telling Jared that I thought we should shut down the company.
时间正好 对吧 Well, perfect timing then, huh?
不好意思 我得接一下电话 Uh, excuse me. I should get this.
贾里德 Hey, Jared.
-那些数字真实吗 -当然了 - Are those numbers legit? - Of course.
-那好吧 -我是贾里德 - All right, then. - This is Jared.
可以了吗 So, are we happy?
可以 效果很好 Yeah. Worked out great.
我买的7000用户不变 So let's keep the 7,000 users that I bought
下周每天增加1000名用户 and add another thousand a day for the next week.
没问题 You got it, buddy.
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