这里还有 "科技信息汇"写 Okay, here's another one.
有人在黄檀餐厅看到劳里·布里姆 TechCrunch says, "Laurie Bream spotted lunching at the Rosewood
和又一位科技新星共进午餐 "With yet another rising tech star, Sam Herron.
山姆·赫伦会是'魔笛手'的新吗 Could this finally be the new CEO of Pied Piper?"
也没准她就是涮他们的 Maybe she's just fucking them all.
都十天了 你知道我想要什么吗 It's been ten days. You know what would be nice?
我想听劳里告诉我对公司有什么打算 If I found out what Laurie wanted to do with my company from her
而不是从网上看 instead of the fucking Internet.
理查德 会计刚公开了账目 Richard, the accountants finally agreed to release our books.
好吧 Okay.
理查德 我们没什么事要做吗 Hey, Richard. Is there anything we should be doing?
不知道 问我干什么 I don't know. Why are you asking me?
我又不是 没有 I'm not the CEO. There is no CEO.
显然跟我比起来 Because, apparently, Jack's
杰克那破空椅子都比我强 empty fucking chair is a better choice than I am.
所以你不如问问那椅子 你该做什么 So, maybe-- maybe ask the chair, see what it thinks.
随你怎么说那椅子 Say what you will about the chair,
但至少那椅子没叫我做什么破盒子 but at least it never told me to build a fucking box.
的确 比起理查德 椅子稳重多了 True. Compared to Richard, it's a lot sturdier.
而且也不要听巴克的狗屁 And it has a lot less of Barker's ass rubbed all over it.
第
三
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第
五
集
硅
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本蓝光版外挂字幕由 风吹来的那片云 用HDTV版调轴
你逗我吗 Are you serious?
除了给杰克的那笔超大额解约费 On top of Jack's ridiculous severance package,
原创翻译 双语字幕
■
仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆www.ZiMuZu.tv
你们俩的显示器居然一千块一个 we spent a thousand dollars on each one of your fucking monitors?
■
翻译: elflife 木浅 西之 milkon
真的吗 那是挺贵的 We did? Huh. That's very pricey.
那又怎样 '拉维加'投了五百万呢 So what? Raviga funded us for $5 million.
翻译: 江湖人称王姑娘 蓝光章鱼X
不可能那么快就花完 There's no way we burned through all that.
校对: 呆熊猫 somehacker
你完全就是投资小白吧 钱是分阶的 Do you have any idea how these deals work? That money's tranched.
什么意思 What's that?
来自古法语的 切片 Well, from the Old French for "Slice."
时间轴: 纸袋PPPPP 西查
就是 听仔细了 迪尼希 Yeah, try to keep up, Dinesh.
钱是分段给的 We get our money in stages.
后期: 找工作上100offer打杂海
懂吗 先一次性给两百万 Right? We get $2 million upfront
起步阶段 用于设计制造产品 to get us going, to design and build the product,
但直到产品上市 but we don't get the next
总监： 没用的傻熊猫
我们都拿不到剩下的三百万 three million until we take a product to market.
杰克那么大出血地花钱他不在乎 And Jack was okay with hemorrhaging money,
因为他以为我们要推出盒子上市 because he thought we were launching the box
那样过不了几周就能拿到剩下三百万了 and then getting the next three million in the next few weeks.
但平台发布远没有那么快 But the platform will take way longer to launch than that.
没错 所以我们就是家估值25千万的公司 Yes. So we are effectively a $250 million company
刚拿了五百万投资 who just took $5 million in funding
然后现在快破产了 and now we're dead-ass broke.
我们的资金消耗率的确非常高 Our burn rate is astronomical,
而我们每闲耗一天… and every day we sit in limbo like this...
如果不呢 What if we don't?
如果我们不闲耗呢 What if we don't sit in limbo?
去他妈的闲耗 Like fuck limbo, right?
就说现在 I mean, right now,
可以把那些狗屁销售都开除了 let's-- let's fire all these fucking sales assholes,
消了租约 直接拍屁股走人 and break the lease on this place and get the fuck out of here.
可以这样吗 现在也没有批准 Can we do that? There's no CEO here to approve any of that.
是 但现在也没有阻止我啊 Yeah. There's also no CEO here to tell me not to do it, right?
没错 你是首席技术官 That's right. You're the CTO.
理论上讲 你是顺位掌权人 Technically, you're the ranking officer.
牛逼 Fucking A.
如果有新 等他接管那天 Look, when, or if, a new CEO comes to take over the company,
我们会尽力照他说的做 we will do what they say to the best of our abilities.
但如果我们不立马行动 But there is a very real possibility
很可能等找到新接管那天 that there won't be a company for them to take over
这公司都不存在了 if we don't do something about it now.
-所以取消惊喜华夫饼 -什么 - So, no more surprise waffles. - What?
-没艾米大厨了 -别啊 - No more Chef Amy. - No!
也不要什么破办公室了 好吗 And no more of these stupid offices, okay?
我们搬回招待所了 We're going to move back to the hostel.
该死 Fuck.
迪尼希 我们得去繁就简 勒紧裤腰 Dinesh, we need to cut every corner, save every penny,
省钱雇工程师搭建平台 好吗 and plow it into engineers to build the platform. Okay?
这样才能回到正轨 Then we will be back on track.
吉尔弗约尔 迪尼希 包好你们那镀金显示器 So Gilfoyle, Dinesh, pack up those gold-plated monitors
因为要卖掉了 because we are selling them.
贾里德 走了 早死早超生 Jared, come on. Let's do this.
真不爽 Well, that sucks.
老天 Jesus.
各位 可以暂停下吗 谢谢 Okay, guys. Can I have your attention, please!
马上决胜球了 Yeah, next goal wins.
不是... 我是说现在 就现在 No. Uh, not-- Now. Sorry, it's got to be now.
都过来一下 当 你也是 And so, bring it in, Dang,
艾米大厨 简犀利 东北区基斯 Chef Amy, Jan the Man, Keith, Northeast regional.
你的见习生还在吗 And do you still have your shadow?
-这儿 -就是你 - Yo! - Hey, there he is.
好的 围过来 Okay, uh... circle up.
我有点事要跟你们讲 All right, I have some news for you.
是关于新的吗 Is this about the new CEO?
"新编码"上写可能是雷德·霍夫曼 Re/Code is saying it could be Reid Hoffman.
不是 我不知道那是怎么回事 No. I... don't know anything about that.
不是 不是关于新 没有任何新员工 No, no. There's no new CEO. There's no new employees of any kind.
其实… There's actually-- It's
是你们要成为前员工了 more about you guys becoming former employees.
所以就是... So, look...
我们要转型了 We're heading in a different direction.
意思就是说 只要你还没有 And what that means is, if I haven't taken you aside
被我找去单谈 说你可以留下 and spoken to you privately about staying on,
那就是被解雇了 立马生效 that does mean that you are... terminated, immediately.
包括当 艾米大厨 简犀利 全体销售 So, Dang, Chef Amy, Jan the Man, all of Sales,
我很抱歉 I am, uh, really sorry about all this.
你确定你可以合法解雇我们吗 Are you sure that you can fire us, like, legally?
是 我确定 Yeah. Yes, absolutely.
我是首席技术官 我职位最高 所以是的 I'm CTO. I'm the highest ranking officer, so yes, answer.
首席技术官还是你吗 劳里还没解雇你吗 You're-- you're still CTO? Laurie hasn't fired you yet?
没有 她还...她为什么要解雇我 No, she has-- Why would she fire me?
"戏说编码"说你的技术太普通 Well, Code/Rag said that your tech is mediocre
所以才没人来当总裁 and that's why no one will take the CEO job.
-什么 -真的 - What? - Yeah.
所以我才以为你已经被开除了 That's why I assumed that you'd been fired.
也许她是想等周五再开除他 Uh, maybe she's waiting till Friday to fire him.
有道理 Oh, that makes sense.
一点都没道理 不是这样的 好吗 No, it doesn't make sense. That's not what's happening, okay?
我不会被开除的 胡说八道 I'm not getting fired. That's crazy.
文章我还没看 也许是因为我忙着 I haven't read this article. Okay, maybe I'm too busy
做超棒的技术 因为它不普通 making the tech awesome, because it's not mediocre.
它其实 说实话 有革命性意义 It's actually-- turns out, it's fucking revolutionary.
我想这才是事实 So, I guess that's the truth.
还有 我没有被解雇 And also, I'm not fired,
他们也没被解雇 是你们被解雇了 these guys aren't fired, you all are fired.
墙那边的所有人 所以 失业愉快 Everyone from this wall is fired. So, enjoy being fired.
天哪 这个苹果真好吃 Jesus! This is a good apple.
你从哪买的 Where did you get this?
我有个专门送水果的人 Oh, I have a fruit guy.
真棒 把我们写好的东西给我念一遍 Fantastic. Read me back what we have so far.
巴赫曼和达头蒂每人在本次投资中 Uh, "Bachman and Bighetti shall each include in this venture
投入个人所有一切公司股份 "Any and all portfolio companies.
"魔笛手"例外 The exception shall be for Pied Piper."
为什么没有"魔笛手" Hey, how-- how come Pied Piper is not a part of it?
因为我其实 'Cause, you know, I actually
还在那里工作过 所以也许应该加上它 used to work there, so maybe it should be?
大头 "魔笛手"已经不是个孕育中的公司了 Big Head, Pied Piper is no longer an incubating entity.
我抛售他们公司的股份 It would be unfair to you and to me and to them for me
对我对你对他们都不公平 to relinquish any of my shares in their company.
再说 跟你一样 And besides, like you,
我放弃了其他一切有价值的东西 I'm giving up everything else I have of value--
股份 选择余地 金钱 流动资产 shares, options, cash, liquid assets.
等等 也就是我的所有资产吗 Wait. So all my assets?
这好像多了点 That seems like kind of a lot.
确实很多 大头 我们都放弃了许多 It is a lot, Big Head. We're both giving up a lot.
但我们也将得到许多 And we're both gaining a lot also.
每个成功的合作关系都是如此 And that's what every successful partnership is about.
完全地 盲目地投入 Committing fully, blindly,
不计后果 and without concern of the consequences,
-和婚姻一样 -对 - like marriage. - Right.
还有 把这句写下来 Oh, here. Get this down.
遇到投票平局时 In the event of a tie vote,
所有分歧 需以投掷 any disagreement shall be settled
巴赫曼先生的硬币决定 with a toss of a coin of Mr. Bachman's choosing.
你进来干什么 What the fuck are you doing in here?
没看到我们在开会吗 Can't you see we're having a meeting?
来吧 大头 给我念一遍 Go ahead, Big Head, read that back to me.
遇到投票平局时 "In the event of a tie--"
傻逼的榨汁机又坏了 The fucking juicer's broken!
两天都坏了两个了 This is he second one in two days!
CJ·坎特维尔在"戏说编码上"写道 原文哦 CJ Cantwell of Code/Rag writes, and I quote,
甄选过这么多候选人却仍无结果 "Having met this many candidates without closing one,
让人不禁去想为什么"魔笛手"选不出人 "One can't help wonder why Pied Piper can't land a man.
是不是自吹自擂的创始人 曾经还被我称为 "Could the vaunted tech of founder Richard Hendricks,
第二个马克·扎克伯格的理查德·亨德里克斯 "Whom I once called 'the next Mark Zuckerberg,'
把"魔笛手"从一只 be turning Pied Piper from
优美的独角兽变成了带派对帽的驴子 a unicorn into a donkey wearing a party hat?"
然后呢 And?
然后 她还诽谤我的技术 And, she's slandering my tech.
诽谤这儿现在唯一还能用的东西 It's the one thing that's working around here.
听着 我觉得如果我和她谈谈 Look, I think if I just talk to her,
应该能让她收回这些话 I can get her to change it.
不 我不希望你就为了你的面子 No. I do not want you to engage with a muckraker like CJ Cantwell
就去招惹CJ·坎特维尔这种狗仔队 simply to salve your male ego.
这跟我的面子无关 劳里 My male ego has nothing to do with this, Laurie.
好的程序员都不会愿意 Look, good coders won't want to work
为一个他们觉得编码很烂的公司工作 for a company they think has shitty tech.
我得把这事压下来 I need to get ahead of this now.
要是没法弥补我们就完了 And if I don't, we're done.
理查德 不管你喜不喜欢 Richard, whether you appreciate this or not,
我是有个全盘计划的 I do actually have a plan here.
你可以把帕洛阿尔托所有人都做次总裁面试 You can meet with everyone in Palo Alto to replace me as CEO.
我不会干预你如何做好你的工作 I'm not going to tell you how to do your job.
好吗 但这件事我不能置之不理 Okay, but I need to do something about this, now.
她管我们叫第二个"点支付" She-she-- she's calling us the next Clinkle.
"点支付" 劳里 "点支付" Clinkle, Laurie. Clinkle.
你知道"点支付"怎么了吧 You-- you do know what happened to Clinkle, right?
你想让我们变成"点支付"吗 Do you want us to be Clinkle?
拜托别再说这名字了 Please, just stop saying "Clinkle."
听着耳朵疼 好吧 It jars the ear. Fine.
我让我办公室安排面试 I will have my office set up an interview.
但我希望你能展现出好的形象 理查德 But I want you to present yourself well, Richard.
洗个澡 梳梳头 穿的利索点 Be showered, groomed, well-dressed.
而且你需要 And you will need to sit down with
跟人力资源部长先演练一遍 our head of PR beforehand to go over talking points.
为什么 Why?
因为你现在情绪不稳定 Because you are in an emotional state,
你情绪不稳定的时候 and when you are emotional,
就会口齿不清 you become highly inarticulate.
我怎么不脚得 Well, I don't say that's true.
好吧 有道理 好的 Okay. Yes. Fine. Sure.
谢谢你 劳里 And thank you, Laurie.
不用问了 答案是是的 Before you ask, the answer is yes.
我把所有这些硬盘都清空了 I did blow all these hard drives clean.
-所以 -那你确实是个白痴 - So... - You really are a moron.
真正清空硬盘的唯一方式 The only way to really blow the hard drives clean
就是拿电钻打个洞 is to take a drill and punch a hole through it.
冷静点 斯诺登 我都初始化了 没事的 All right, calm down, Snowden. I zeroed them all out, we're fine.
欢迎 Welcome, welcome.
我们租期到了 所以啥都得卖了 we have lost our lease, so everything must go.
椅子是按对脊柱的支撑程度从低到高排的 The chairs are arranged in ascending order of lumbar support.
看看吧 So, have a gander.
偷偷告诉你 Oh, uh, word to the wise:
坐海沃氏天天都像在给臀部按摩 the Haworths are like a spa day for the buttocks.
真的 而且我臀部还很脆弱 Yeah, and I have a fragile posterior.
我阿姨以前都叫我"玻璃屁股" My aunt used to call me "Glasshole."
所以你听我的没错 So, you can take it from me.
看看这些蛆虫 Look at these fucking maggots.
爬满了我们的垃圾桶 Crawling all over our garbage,
留下了他们的蠢笨的粘液 leaving their slime of mediocrity.
我以为你会很适应市场呢 I thought you'd feel right at home in a marketplace,
讨价还价 卖你的猴爪 haggling, selling your monkey paws,
在柳条篮里找印第安纳·琼斯 looking for Indiana Jones in a wicker basket.
在篮子里的是马丽恩好吗 Okay. Marion was in the wicker basket,
印第安纳·琼斯是掀翻篮子的 你个白痴 Indiana Jones was tipping them over, you fucking idiot.
你好 Hi.
有问题可以找我 Let me know if you have any questions.
和你们说 我做成了第一单生意 Well, how about that? I made my first sale.
我干过房地产的 I've organized a lot of estate sales,
所以我信手拈来啊 so this is kind of my wheelhouse.
-什么 -我有很多忘年交 - What? - I have a lot of elderly friends.
那个东西很有意思 Oh, that is a fun item.
是个硬件风扇 That's a hardware fan.
你今天穿黄色哟 You've got the yellow hoodie on today.
对 Oh, yeah.
等等 Wait a second.
这些都没有签名 None of these are signed.
对 我的业务经理觉得 Oh yeah. Um, it's just my business manager had some questions
这些文件有点问题 about the way some of this stuff was being arranged.
他好像说这不是公司 Like he said something about how it's not a corporation.
更像一般合伙什么的 It's just a general partnership or something.
他说我不懂 我也确实不懂 I mean, he told me I didn't understand, which is true,
所以他想和你谈谈 so he wanted to maybe talk to you about it.
你想找律师吗 是吗 So you want to lawyer up, huh? Is that what we're doing?
他应该没学过法律 I don't think he has a law degree.
大头 我希望 Big Head, I would hope that
握手协议对你来说就够了 a handshake deal would be good enough for you.
因为我们还有很长的路要走 Because we're headed down a long road,
而那需要我们彼此信任 盲目信任 and that road must be paved with trust. Blind trust.
而你这些所谓的"专家" And you bringing in these so-called "Experts..."
真的让我很失望 ...really gives me pause,
羞辱了我 and it insults my honor.
抱歉 我得接个电话 马上回来 Sorry, hold on. I got to take this. I'll be right back.
抱歉 你好 Sorry. Hello?
我看起来如何 Hey. Uh, how do I look?
实话说 像演口技用的偶人 If I'm being honest, like a ventriloquist dummy.
好吧 挺合适的 Okay. Well, you know, that's actually kind of fitting,
因为我要去"拉维加" because I'm on my way to Raviga right now
去见一个公关 去学学 to meet with a PR person to tell me exactly what to say
跟记者说什么 怎么说 to a reporter and how to say it.
那就说得通了 Well, that does make sense.
你有压力的时候都很啰嗦 You do tend to babble on when you're under pressure.
为什么总要这样呢 Why does this thing people say?
你真想知道吗 Why indeed?
真奇怪 That was weird.
刚刚"拉维加"的劳里·布里姆给我打电话 I just got a call from Laurie Bream's office, at Raviga,
问我是否想应聘"魔笛手"的首席执行官 asking if I'd want to interview for the job of CEO at Pied Piper.
什么 你开什么玩笑 What? Are you fucking kidding me?
我也是这么说的 That's exactly what I said.
然后我说不想 我们就都挂电话了 Then I said no, and then we both hung up.
我想那边应该挂了吧 因为我已经挂了 I mean, I assume they hung up. I had already hung up, so...
好吧 Wow. Wow. Okay.
好吧 很好 大头 Okay. Yeah, great. Big Head.
大头 开什么狗屁玩笑 Big Head! Fucking kidding me?
搞什么鬼 What the fuck is going on?
大头 你想带着你那帮人 Big Head, you can insult me all you want
怎么羞辱我都行 by involving your self-described shylocks,
但羞辱理查德 but to insult Richard and humiliate him,
就像揍了一个无辜的孩子一样 that's like kicking a child who's done nothing to deserve it.
我拉面都吃不下了 I may not be able to finish my ramen.
我拒绝了啊 I told them no.
我是理查德·亨德里克斯 来见公关道恩·西蒙 Hi there. Richard Hendricks here to see Dawn Simon, PR.
好的 她会在小会议室见你 Sure, she'll be meeting you in the small conference room.
-需要我... -不用不用 我... - Do you need me-- - No, no. I, uh--
我知道在哪 也是有我知道的事情的 I know where it is. It turns out, I actually know something.
我不是白痴 I'm not a fucking idiot.
-理查德·亨德里克斯 -在我们谈之前 - Richard Hendricks. - Hi. Before we get any further,
我想让你知道 I just want you to know that,
我不想吼你 I'm not going to be yelling at you,
但我可能会吼 but I probably am going to yell.
-好的 -好的 - Okay. - Okay.
因为这简直是狗屁 Because this is bullshit.
我知道 这是你的工作 你是公关 Honestly, I mean, I get it. This is your job. You're in PR.
你的工作是告诉我什么话不该说 Your job is to pretty much tell me what I can't say.
我面对记者的时候 我可能不能说 I mean, when I talk to this reporter, I probably can't say
劳里·布里姆炒了我是有多操蛋 how fucked up it is that, um, Laurie Bream fired me,
而且还让"行动者"杰克·巴克顶替我 and then replaced me with Action Jack Barker.
我可能也不能说他做出的唯一行动 I probably can't say how the only action he took was
就是选错了产品 to essentially pick the wrong product
把公司榨干了 and then bleed the company dry.
我也不能说我有多生气 And I probably can't say how fucking pissed off I am
因为劳里·布里姆在硅谷乱晃 that Laurie Bream is out there gallivanting around the Valley,
面试每一个地球上的白痴来顶替我的工作 interviewing every dickhole on Earth for my job,
包括大头 including Big Head--
曾经被我炒掉的人 无意冒犯 我挺喜欢他的 a man that I fired by the way, and no offense, I like him.
我真挺喜欢他的 他是我的好朋友 I do actually, he's a close friend of mine,
好多年了 been that way for years.
他有点缺心眼 他的名字就是大头 He is a bit of a simpleton, his name's fucking Big Head.
但是 听着 But, okay, look.
我想当魔笛手的首席执行官 好吗 I want to be CEO of Pied Piper, okay?
这是我的公司 我一把屎一把尿拉扯大的公司 It is my company. I worked my ass off to build this company, okay?
那就是我的位子 是我应得的 That's my job. I deserve it.
而让我抓狂的是 劳里在那 And it fucking kills me that Laurie is out there
想把这位子给别人 就是不给我 trying to give it to someone else, anyone but me.
但我八成是不能说那种话的 对吧 But I probably can't say that, can I?
你想说什么都可以跟我说 You can say anything you want to say to me.
那敢情好 All right.
谢谢你能来见我 莫妮卡 Thank you for meeting me, Monica.
你家是... You are from...?
巴尔的摩 Baltimore.
HL·门肯 出生于巴尔的摩 HL Mencken hails from Baltimore.
谁 Who?
普遍都说他是个种族主义者 但是 Widely perceived as a racist, but...
他在英语这门语言上的影响是广泛的 his work on the English language is comprehensive,
对福音派简单明了颇有见地的观点是值得赞赏的 and his perspicuous skewering of evangelicals is laudable.
莫妮卡 我到这儿来不仅仅是为了玩 Monica, my mission here is not merely to have fun.
没关系 That's-- that's okay.
我当时在董事会上投反对票 我只是想 When I voted against you, at the board meeting, I just want--
莫妮卡 这不怪你 就这一次 Monica, this is not about you, for once.
我带你到这儿来是想说 I brought you here to say...
抱歉 I am sorry.
因为 For...?
对 当然了 你会非逼着我说出来的 Yes, of course. You are going to make me say it.
我怎么不惊讶呢 Why am I not surprised?
我在理查德·亨德里克斯的事上做错了 I made a mistake with Richard Hendricks.
我就出去了 立马走人 And out I went, right on my ass.
然后劳里就把那个 And then Laurie put that
混蛋巴克弄进来把公司搞破产 jackhole Barker in to bankrupt the company.
但她会承认吗 不不不 But does she cop to that? No, no, no.
因为劳里牛逼6000系列 Because the Laurie-tron 6,000
没有编写承认犯错的程序 isn't programmed to admit when she's made a mistake.
我犯了个错 I made an error.
你能承认错误真的很了不起 That's really big of you to admit.
我不该把他从位子上赶下来 I should not have removed him as CEO,
然后让杰克·巴克 and installing Jack Barker
接替他的位子 加重了错误 in his place only compounded that error.
可如果你说的是真的 But if that's true,
那为什么你还和这么多别的候选人见面 then why are you meeting with so many other CEO candidates?
我是公开地跟一些我知道 I am meeting publically with a number of
挖不过来的高价值的候选人见面 high-value candidates I know to be unavailable,
也跟一些跟理查德相比 as well as with a number of less-qualified candidates
不太合格的候选人见面 with whom Richard compares favorably.
所以你才给大头打电话 That's why you called Big Head.
是的 你看 理查德一定不是 Yes. You see, Richard must not be perceived
最有利的候选人 as being the most expedient candidate.
他一定是正确的候选人 He must be seen as the correct candidate.
理查德听到该激动坏了 This is very exciting for Richard.
他在困境时的举动给我留下了印象 I have been impressed by his conduct in a tough situation.
-他展现出了勇气 -这没得说 - He's shown mettle. - Definitely.
因此 我会在下次董事会上提议投票 Therefore, I will call for a vote at the next board meeting
把这个位子给他 to offer him the job.
那当然是假设他能 That is of course assuming he
继续展示出一种职业精神才行 continues to demonstrate an air of professionalism.
你好 道恩 你在等谁吗 Hi, Dawn. Are you waiting for someone?
是的 我本该在理查德·亨德里克斯见 Yes. I'm supposed to be meeting with Richard Hendricks
《戏说编码》家的记者之前跟他见面的 before he sits down with a Code/Rag reporter.
那就奇怪了 我刚还见他了 Oh, that's weird. I saw him earlier.
所以 And that is why...
我老实跟你说吧 I'm just being honest here.
我觉得彼得·格里高利现在过得更舒坦 I think that Peter Gregory is better off where he is.
就是说 因为如果他知道 Just saying, because if he knew
劳里对他的公司做的那些事 what Laurie was doing to his company,
他可能想拿起一把枪崩了自己 he probably would want to take a gun and blow his brains out.
好吧 Uh, okay.
我们大概应该开始说点我能说的事了 We should probably start talking about the things that I can say.
理查德 理查德·亨德里克斯 Richard. Richard Hendricks?
对 你是谁 Yes. Who are you?
道恩·西蒙 "拉维加"的公关主管 Dawn Simon, Raviga's publicity director.
那这么说你就是 So that would make you...?
"戏说编码"的CT·坎特维尔 CJ Cantwell, Code/Rag.
谢了 我觉得该听的都听了 Thank you, I think I have everything I need.
请告诉我你们谈得很好 Please tell me that went well.
好 好 谈 谈得好很 Yep. No, yeah. It, uh-- it-it was gone great.
对 谈好 Yep. It had gone.
谈得好 It was great.
她是个 是个好小伙 Uh, she's a-- she's a great guy.
真的 姑娘 她很棒 很棒 Really. Gir-- girl. She's-- she's cool. She's a cool one.
棒 我能 我能离开了吗 Cool. Um, so I can just-- I can get out here?
-因为我刚想起还有别的事 -可以 - Just 'cause I got another thing. - Yeah.
慢点走 听我说 为我自己说句话 Slow down. Listen to me. Look, in my defense,
我说的那些都是我不能说的 I said those were all the things I can't say, okay.
所以差不多相当于我没说过那些话 So it's kind of like I didn't even say them.
但你确实说了 在你安排和一个记者见面时说的 But you did say them, at a meeting you scheduled with a reporter.
记者 得了吧 你就是个科技博主 Reporter? Come on, you're a tech blogger.
是吗 真不懂为什么劳里非让你见个公关代表 Really. Hard to see why Laurie insisted on a PR rep for you.
听我说 告诉我该怎么做才能把这个一笔勾销 Look, uh, just... tell me what I can do to kill this?
-你想让我别写那稿子吗 -对 求你了 - You want me to spike the story? - Yes, please.
给我来点更猛的 我说不好 Give me something better. I don't know,
喝多了发歧视其他种族的推特 go on a drunken racist Twitter rant,
或者开着车碾过伊隆·马斯克[特斯拉] or, uh, get in your car, run over Elon Musk,
在监狱里给我来个独家专访 and give me an exclusive from jail. Yeah.
不然的话 我会在明天中午发稿 Otherwise, I'm posting this at noon tomorrow, so...
别 别别别 听我说 No, no, no, no. Look. Look.
你要是想走 先碾过我吧 If you want to leave, you're going to have to run me over!
这几间办公室真好 These offices were nice.
现在一切看起来都好荒芜 Now everything looks so bare.
是啊 有种悲凉的脆弱感 Yeah. There is a certain sad vulnerability to it.
你见过裸尸吗 Have you ever seen a naked dead person?
没有 没有 No. No. No.
好消息是 我们卖这堆东西 Well, the good news is, we cleared almost...
赚了将近七万美元 $70,000 from selling all this stuff.
那也不够雇我们需要的程序员 That's not enough to afford all the coders we need.
我们至少需要一打 We need at least a dozen.
这下让他们在哪办公呢 Where would we even put them now?
走吧 Shall we?
等等 我的硬盘呢 Wait. Where's my hard drive?
你的硬盘长什么样 What did it look like?
就是普通硬盘的样子啊 It just looked like a normal standard hard drive.
你确定不在你包里 You sure it was in your bag?
刚才还在我包里 Yeah, it was in my bag.
会不会滑出来了 掉到了包旁边 Could it maybe have slid out and was next to your bag,
和要卖的硬盘混在一起了 which was next to all the hard drives we got rid of?
你把我的个人硬盘卖了 Did you sell my personal hard drive?
你不会碰巧把那个也删干净了吧 You didn't happen to wipe that one clean, too, did you?
-我的个人硬盘 -对 - My personal hard drive? - Yeah.
当然没有 No!
操 Fuck!
里面有我们的机密知识产权了 So it had our confidential IP on it?
对 平台 盒子 全部工作 Yes. All the work we did on the platform, the box, everything.
不见了不一定就是丢了 Well, what's gone is not necessarily lost.
我们得找到它 Okay, we just need to find it.
我在学校垃圾桶里找到了我的牙套 I found my retainer in the school dumpster.
在欧扎克的民兵组织找到了我的生父 I found my biological father in a militia up in the Ozarks.
这应该不成问题 This should be no problem.
别担心 迪尼希 会找到的 Don't worry, Dinesh, we'll find it.
我是魔笛手
他不知道我们要搬走吗 Uh, does he not know we're moving out?
要告诉他吗 Should we tell him?
不用 杰克预付了他全部工资 而且 No. Jack paid him in full up front, and...
他看起来好平静 he seems so at peace.
那好吧 All right. All right.
我真是个白痴 I am such an idiot.
你没的选 理查德 You've got no choice, Richard.
你得去找劳里 告诉她事情的经过 You need to go in to Laurie and just tell her what happened.
什么 劳里会在网上看到我说的那些话 What? It's bad enough she's going to find out
这已经够糟了 what I said after this piece posts online.
你还要我去找她 当面告诉她 You want me to go in and tell her right to her face?
门都没有 No fucking way.
你能搞定的 和她道歉 You could spin it. Tell her you're sorry.
我做到了 我拿回了原来的职位 I had it. I had my old CEO job back,
但是我搞砸了 and I fucked it up.
魔笛手
我来开 I'll get it.
超级天使
"超级天使"豪华版 The Super Angel Premium Deluxe.
真身啊 In the flesh.
对 我得开车去 Yeah, I had to drive to
圣马特奥才买到能自动翻带的 San Mateo to get one that has auto-reverse.
让你助理去不就行了 Why didn't you send your assistant?
她在打电话 所以 She was on the phone, so...
好吧 大头 Well, Big Head,
真正的勇者 敢于承认错误 it takes a brave man to admit his mistakes,
既然你已经表示道歉 and with this token of apology,
你已正式改正了自己的错误 you've officially righted your wrong.
权当此事已解决了 Consider the matter resolved.
好 Cool.
按照传统 冒犯者应与被冒犯者握手 Traditionally the offender shakes the offendee's hand,
你来握我的手 so you would come to me.
真是诚实的托马斯 That's an honest Thomas.
耶稣十二门徒之一 常心存疑虑但为人诚实衷心
先生们 莫妮卡 在此处的灰烬之中 Gentlemen, Monica, from the ashes of whatever happens here
凤凰将涅磐重生 名为巴赫头 will rise the Phoenix that shall be known as Bachmanity.
你的公司就叫这名字啊 That's what you're going to call your company?
对 之前准备叫巴赫曼资本 Yeah, well, before it was going to be Bachman Capital.
因为我提供巴赫曼 他提供资本 Because I provide the Bachman, and he provides the capital.
对 但后来我们妥协了 改叫巴赫头 Yeah, but then, we compromised, and made it Bachmanity,
取了他的巴赫曼 'cause it's Bachman from him,
和我的"头" 一人两个音节 and then the "Etti" from me. So it's two syllables each.
这家伙很热衷于计分 请坐 Very much into keeping score, this one. Have a seat.
我去拿文件和我的万宝龙笔 I'll go fetch the documents and my Montblanc.
费了点周折 我找到了买硬盘的女人 So, slight hiccup. I tracked down the woman who bought the drive,
但她不愿意再卖了 but she wasn't interested in selling it back.
显然 她已经把硬盘给了她年迈的父亲 Apparently, she's already given it to her elderly father
而且已经约了极客军团下午去安装 and booked the Geek Squad to set it up for him this afternoon.
那我的硬盘怎么办 What about my drive?
我们所有的东西都在里面 All our stuff is on there.
应该没事 她说他平时只用电脑 I think we're fine. She said he mostly uses the computer
下载旧船的图片 to download photos of old ships.
即使他想找我们的文件 I don't think he'll be able to find our files
估计都找不到 even if he wanted to.
希望如此 但是 Well, I mean, hopefully. But still...
迪尼希说得对 这么做太草率 Dinesh is right, this is sloppy.
那人住哪儿 Where does this guy live?
理查德 抱歉 Oh shit, Richard, I'm sorry, man.
在这里和这里签首字母 Initial here and here.
没关系 我活该 是我自己的错 No. It's okay. I-- I deserve it. It's my own fault.
然后在这里签字 And you're going to want to sign here.
这事真是糟透了 Still man, that just really sucks.
我估计 You know, I bet-- I bet you
你希望自己能像盖文·贝尔森一样 wish you could just scrub the whole Internet,
把网上相关信息都删干净 like Gavin Belson does, right?
好奇怪 Whoa, weird.
我签的字每个看起来都完全不同 Every single one of my signatures looks totally different.
-等等 什么 -你看 - Wait. What? - Yeah, look.
这个是手写体 这个是印上去的 然后我 This one's in cursive, this one's just printed, and then I,
刚刚签了个"大头"上去 肯定不算数的 one I just wrote "Big Head," But that's not going to hold up.
不是不是 No, no, no.
你刚才说盖文·贝尔森把网上的信息删了 Did you just say Gavin Belson scrubbed the Internet?
是啊 Oh, yeah.
没错 然后他们当着我的面说 Yeah, and then they told me to my face,
在'纽核力'被关闭之后 that after Nucleus was shut down,
盖文让高管下令叫他们删除'互利搜索'上 Gavin had one of his execs order them to scrub
所有关于'纽核力'的负面评论 all negative mentions of Nucleus off of Hooli Search.
很好 具体是什么时候的事 Okay, when exactly did this happen?
不行 不行 其实吧 No, no. Actually, uh...
你说好了只要我能提供更猛的料 you told me that you would spike my story
你就叫停我的报道 if I give you something better.
这个更猛 对吧 This is better, right?
千万倍的猛 你的报道我不写了 Yeah. Light-years better, actually. Your story's spiked.
很好 继续 Great, okay.
既然我们要从两个苹果里挑不那么烂的 As long as we're trading apples for comparable apples,
我这里倒是有一个新鲜多汁的红苹果 I've got a fresh and juicy that's ripe for the picking.
坎特维尔女士 你想不想要一个 Ms. Cantwell, what say you to an exclusive
冉冉升起的未来金融巨擘的独家采访权 on the launch of a future financial behemoth?
我看还是专心写盖文的事吧 How about we just stick with Gavin?
盖文的报道换理查德的 成交吗 Gavin for Richard? Deal?
成交 Done.
莫妮卡 你非在这添什么乱 Monica, do you really need to be here?
-极客军团的 -电脑在那边 - Geek Squad. - The computer's right here.
你怎么没穿工作衬衫 You're not wearing the shirt.
洒了咖啡脏了 I spilled coffee on it.
我是个电脑呆子 I'm a nerd.
好了 都修好了 All right. We're all set here.
太好了 Yes!
把我的硬盘还给我吧 Can I have my hard drive?
不 你丫混蛋 Oh, no. You fucking dick.
我去 Shit.
修不好就换新
准备好换新吧 You're gonna be replacing it.
你回来了 董事会开的如何 You're back. How did the board meeting go?
你面前这位过去曾是 现在是 You're looking at the past, present,
将来可能继续是'魔笛手'的首席执行官 and possibly future CEO of Pied Piper.
真是太好了 That is fab-
-恭喜 -贾里德 - Congratulations! - Jared--
我的领袖 My captain!
"船长 我的船长 起来吧 倾听钟声 "O captain! My captain! Rise up and hear the bells.
起来吧 号角为你长鸣 旌旗为你招展" Rise up-- for you the flag is flung-- for you the bugle trills."
好了 解散 All right. Dismissed.
不过还是得跟你说 Well, uh, just to remind you,
'魔笛手'还是一艘快沉的船 Pied Piper is still a sinking ship, so...
航海比喻差不多就得了 Enough with the maritime metaphors.
这简直就可以说是我这辈子 This is honestly like the best birthday gift
最好的生日礼物了 that I ever could've asked for.
-今天是你生日 -我不知道 - It's your birthday? - Oh, I don't know.
儿童保护系统的工作人员找不到我的出生证明 The CPS worker couldn't find my birth certificate,
不过 没准就是现在呢 but... maybe now it is.
而且还有别的好消息 And in other good news,
我们终于补齐了工程师团队 we've managed to fill out our engineering team.
你警告过他们不得偷吃我的费奇酸奶吗 Did you tell them that my Fage's off-limits?
这个 你绝对不用担心 Oh, that-- that won't be a worry.
来见见他们吧 Come meet them.
好了几位 你们谁想 All right, guys, who wants
开始做片段上传部分 to start work on the fragment uploader?
格列布 你和桑贾伊来做吧 Uh, Gleb, why don't you and Sanjay take it?
理查德 来打个招呼 Richard, say hi.
啊好 你们好 我是理查德·亨德里克斯 Yes, uh, hello. I am, uh, Richard Hendricks,
是'魔笛手'的首席执行官 欢迎加入 the CEO of Pied Piper. Welcome aboard.
这是在作什么鬼 What the fuck is going on here?
我们发挥了一点创造力 We got a little creative.
我曾读到过'快约'的创始人 I read that the woman who started Pegg'd
雇用了一支远在印度的编程队伍 built her entire app using a team
来制作应用 她和他们从没见过面 of coders from India, she never met in person.
而且只花了一万五 And it only cost $15,000.
没错 所以我们就想 为什么要局限于 So, yeah, so we figured why limit ourselves
硅谷里价高质低的那几块料 to a few expensive people in the Valley,
而不是外包出去 雇一支完整的队伍呢 when we could afford a full complement if we outsourced?
理查德 我之前汇报过所有的办公设备 Richard, I know we said that we sold everything in the offices
都卖了钱雇来这几位 但也没有全卖 to pay for these guys, but that was not exactly true.
我们留了一件东西 we kept one thing.
好吧 Okay.
是那个首席办公椅 It's the CEO chair.
请上位 Have a seat.
好 Okay.
那好 Okay, uh...
我们不如先 Well, uh, why don't we, uh,
让屋里 或者屏幕上的所有人 go around the room or screens or whatever,
都自我介绍一下吧 and, uh, introduce ourselves?
你好 我是格列布 我在保加利亚 Hello, my name is Gleb. I am in Bulgaria.
你们好 我是桑贾伊 我在印度孟买 Hello, I am Sanjay. I am here in Mumbai, India.
-哪儿不舒服吗 -没 - You having trouble? - No.
我是伊丽莎白 我现在在爱沙尼亚 I am Elisabet. I am speaking to you from Estonia.
多谢你们给我... Uh, thank you for the--
我没事 我没事 我没事 It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.
我自己来 我没事 I got it. I got it.
好个惊艳的亮相啊 You're making a great first impression.
不好意思 能再重新介绍一遍吗 Sorry. Can we go to the-- do the names one more time?