看 Here it is.
这就是你们的未来 This is your future.
你们的一个魔笛手盒子 One of your Pied Piper boxes
就会被放在这里 would go right here in this rack.
好吧 Okay.
好了 Okay.
我再带你们去看看 Let me show you the next location
即将用来安置你们的盒子的下一个地方 in which we would install one of your boxes.
理查德 我们到底特么在这里干什么 Richard. What the fuck are we doing here?
我心里也不好过 I don't like it any more than you do.
我跟杰克说了会先来看看 I told Jack we'd come check this place out
然后回去和他再做讨论 and then we'd have a discussion.
你特么竟然提出建议 I can't believe you suggested the idea
要做这么个破玩意 of building a fucking appliance.
我没有 I didn't, okay?
我提这个是为了做反例 I pitched it as an example of what not to do
结果那群傻逼销售人员却选了这个方案 and the fucking sales guys ran with it.
我一直不想把公司企业化的 I didn't want to go to enterprise.
是你们非说这样挺好的 You were the ones who said it would be fine.
-我们可没那么说 -你们明明一直在说 - No, we didn't say that. - You said it all the time.
我们可不是那么说的 我们... That's not what we said. That is not...
到了 这就是另一个用于放置 Here it is. This is where another one
你们的魔笛手盒子的地方 of your Pied Piper boxes would go.
哦 很好 Okay. Good.
好了 我再带你们去看下一个 Okay. Let me show you the next location
- 用于安置... -等一下 - in which we would install-- - Actually, you know what?
不好意思 这些空位长得都一样 Sorry. No offense, but once you see one space in a rack,
没必要挨个看一遍 you've kind of seen them all.
我以前也是这么想的 That's what I used to think...
但看完之后就改变想法了 until I saw them all.
想不想看看你们的书桌 Would you like to see your desks?
-什么书桌 -你说啥 - Our desks? - What?
这是我们用于安置 This is where we would install
魔笛手工程师的地方 a Pied Piper engineer.
不好意思 我们为什么要待在这里 Sorry. Why, exactly, would we need to be here?
你们的销售代表 Your sales representative
保证会有全天24小时 现场维护 promised 24-hour-a-day, on-site maintenance...
至少第一年是这样的 at least for the first year.
所以我们中的一个人必须要在这里 So, one of us would have to be down here
待一整年 for a year?
晚上也要在这里 Even at night?
在这里其实白天黑夜并没有分别的 There's really no difference between day and night down here,
所以也不会那么难过 so it makes things easy.
好吧 我们也该走了 立刻马上 Okay, well, we should probably get going. Now.
-差不多就现在吧 -嗯 现在就该走了 - Almost right now. - Yeah, right now even.
好的 这里有16个楼梯井 Okay. There are 16 stairwells.
你们想先看哪个 Which one would you like to see first?
哪个最近去哪个吧 Just whatever's as fast as possible.
你最喜欢的那个吧 Your favorite one.
好 Okay.
你看到那些获得跟鼹鼠似的人了吗 Oh! You see these fucking mole people?
约翰去哪儿了 Hey, where did John go?
我擦 他是不是拐进哪个房间了 Oh shit. Did he go in a room?
没有吧 应该就在这附近吧 No. Uh... probably around here.
约翰 Hey, John?
-约翰 -约翰 - John? - Oh. Uh... John?
-约翰 -糟了 - John! - Oh shit.
约翰 John!
-他去哪儿了 约翰 -约翰 - Where is he? John! - John!
《硅谷》 第三季 第三集
第
三
季
第
三
集
硅
谷
本蓝光版外挂字幕由 风吹来的那片云 用HDTV版调轴
我们不能就这样把我的算法 We can't take my algorithm
锁进一个盒子里 就此掩埋在蚁穴啊 and put it in a box and bury it at Maleant.
原创翻译 双语字幕
■
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-不能这样啊 -它好像死了 - We just can't. - I think this thing is dead.
■
翻译: 不高兴同学 elflife milkon
杰克 听着 我知道 Jack, look, I have no doubt
那些销售人员很会卖盒子 that your guys can sell a box
翻译: 江湖人称王姑娘 西之 章鱼
这样可能短期是能赚很多钱 and an appliance may be a good short-term play,
但长期来讲 我们需要建立一个 but in the long term, we need to be building
校对: 呆熊猫 somehacker
-自己的全职平台 -格洛丽亚 - our full-time platform. - Gloria!
麻烦你联系一下卖鱼的 看看这玩意 Could you call the fish guy and see what kind of warranty
时间轴: 姜姜 纸袋PPPPP
有什么担保没 有一条鱼好像死了 we have one these things? I think one of them is dead.
后期: 污里吉吉 总监： 没用的傻熊猫
杰克 算我求你了 Jack, please.
你说过等我从蚁穴回来之后 You said that when we got back from Maleant
-就跟我谈谈的 -好啊 那就谈啊 - we would discuss this. - Okay, let's discuss it.
特别鸣谢: 互利科技 hoolix.com
来看看成功三角定律 Take a look at the Conjoined Triangles of Success.
这两个三角形合起来是什么 Now, what do those two triangles make together?
-正方形 -一个盒子 合一起是个盒子 - A square? - A box. They make a box.
-这种事情是编不出来的 -可这就是你编的啊 - You can't make that shit up. - But you literally did make it up.
没错 但现在这是商学院的授课教材 Yes, I did. And now they teach it at business schools.
我只是想让你知道这有多巧合 But I was only referring to the serendipity of the coincidence.
这样吧 如果我们做出这个盒子来 Look, if we build you the box,
你能保证完成之后让我们建立平台吗 will you promise to let us build the platform when it's done?
以后的事情以后再说 We'll think about then then.
我们现在要担心的就是现在 Now we need to worry about now.
现在就去把盒子给我做出来 Build me a box... now.
谈得怎么样 How'd it go?
不怎么样 Not well.
好吧 All right, then.
你这是什么意思 你在干什么 What do you-- What do you mean? What are you doing?
首先 我要把领英求职网上的状态 Well, first, I'm changing my LinkedIn status...
改成"求职" to "Looking for work."
那个盒子就是个劣质商品 我才不要参与 That box is artless commerce. I won't be a party to it.
那你是打算就这样辞职 So, you're just gonna quit?
就这样 你怎么能这样 Just like that? How-- How can you do that?
就说两个词 我 辞职 By saying the words "I" And "Quit"
把它们放在一起 也就是 我辞职 in conjunction together-- i.e., I quit.
可你还是得办点离职手续的 Well, there's actually some paperwork involved.
那个USB导弹发射器可以给我吗 Hey, can I have that USB missile launcher?
一会从垃圾桶里捡就好了 I'll just fish it out of the trash later.
吉尔弗约尔 拜托 Gilfoyle, come on.
让我先想想办法 Give me some time to figure a way out of this,
你要是现在辞职 'cause if you quit now,
你的股份就都没了 you're gonna lose all your shares.
万一巴克改主意 And what if Barker changes
又准许我们建平台了呢 his mind and lets us build the platform?
你有多大把握他改主意 And the odds of that are?
这么快 现在的猎头真迅速 Already? Recruiters move fast these days.
我是吉尔弗约尔 你有什么好东西 This is Gilfoyle. Dazzle me.
猎头又送东西吗 More recruiter swag?
还有3D眼镜 You got an Oculus?
-没错 -那是悬浮滑板吗 - Yup. - That's a hoverboard?
你答应了几场面谈 How many meetings are you taking?
一场都没答应 讽刺吧 None. That's the irony.
拒的越多 猎头越给我送礼 The more meetings I turn down, the more these recruiters send me.
-你干什么呢 -吃爆米花 - What are you doing? - Eating popcorn.
-那是我的 -你有七大桶呢 - That's my popcorn. - You have seven tubs of it.
你都能当爆米花城的市长了 You could be the mayor of Popcornopolis.
吃芝士和原味的 不准吃焦糖的 Don't eat the caramel. You can have the cheese or the plain.
-只给我车达芝士味的吗 -没错 混蛋 - You're leaving me with the cheddar? - That's right. Dick.
这能借我用用吗 就一会儿 Hey, can I borrow this? Just for a little bit?
不行 等等 No. Whoa, whoa, hold on.
你是戴了条金链子吗 You're wearing a gold chain?
哦 这个啊 好早以前的东西了 Oh, right. Yeah, I've had it for a while.
我就偶尔戴戴 Just kind of throw it on every now and then.
你就胡扯 None of that is true.
-你要是戴过 我一定有印象 -是这样 - I definitely would've noticed. - Okay, listen.
我一直努力工作 现在终于开始赚钱了 I've been working hard. I'm making money for the first time.
我就想 给自己买点好东西呗 I was like... buy myself something nice, you know?
结果你反倒买了条链子吗 But instead of that, you bought a chain?
你个半途而废的 就是嫉妒我有工资 You're just jealous I have a salary, quitter.
而你这么正经的人就不会辞职 And you are too legit to quit,
是吧 MC哈马斯 eh, MC Hamas?
-去你的 -回见 链子处女情缘 - Fuck off. - Later, Chain the Virgin.
好了 吉尔弗约尔 看来那些猎头 Well, Gilfoyle, looks like your recruiters
得把礼物收回去了 are gonna have to take back their gift baskets,
我刚给莫妮卡打完电话 because I just got off the phone with Monica
她安排我明早去见劳里 and she's getting me in to see Laurie this morning
就能告诉她怎么回事了 so I can tell her what's going on.
你这是 越了CEO的职权 But you're-- you're going over your CEO's head?
严重违反职场常规 That is a serious breach of protocol.
杰克发现了 要大发雷霆的 I mean, if Jack finds out, he'll be furious.
你要是拼命欺负谁 总有一天 Hey, when you push a man so far,
他会出去买把枪 杀了银行里所有人 he goes out, buys a gun, and shoots everyone in a bank.
-老天 -不 我不会 不会 - Whoa. - No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't.
我不会那么做 I'm not-- I'm not going to.
我就是说 Just-- The point is,
我还有什么别的路可走吗 what other option do I have, anyway?
你问还有什么选择 理查德 What other option do you have, Richard?
可以和你单独聊两句吗 Can I speak with you alone, please? Hmm?
你是对我有意见吗 理查德 Are you angry with me, Richard?
我哪里惹到你了吗 Have I done something to offend you?
没有 什么意思 No. What are you talking about?
你们几个拿到投资 You know, when you and the boys picked up
搬去新办公室时 and went to the new offices,
也没邀请我 and didn't invite me along...
我什么都没说 I didn't say anything.
是 可你也不在'魔笛手'工作 Yeah, because you don't work at Pied Piper.
你就得无时不刻地 And you haven't let me forget that
提醒我这一点 是吗 理查德 for even one moment, have you, Richard?
我有点没听懂 I-I-I-- I'm having trouble tracking this.
你到底在生气什么 I don't know what you're mad about.
你刚公然宣布 得瞒着巴克越俎代庖 You publicly proclaimed, "I have to go over Barker's head
因为别无他法 because what other option do I have?"
想想你还有什么选择 理查德 What other option do you have, Richard?
因为你的另一个选择 'Cause there is another option,
就站在你面前 看着你 and he's standing here, looking you in the face,
而你看着他 就好像他不存在一样 and you're staring back like he don't even exist.
我就是澄清一下 Just to be... as clear as I possibly can be here,
你的意思是 你想去和巴克谈吗 are you trying to tell me that you want to talk to Barker?
不 理查德 我不想和巴克谈 No, Richard, I don't want to talk to Barker.
但我希望你想让我和他谈 I want you to want me to talk to Barker.
反正都闹成这样了 你要是愿意 At this point, if it'll make you feel better,
行 你去和巴克谈 sure, you can go talk to Barker.
你看 See?
有那么难吗 Was that so hard?
其实挺让人不舒服的 Actually, yes, that was painfully difficult.
没错 这只绝对死了 Yeah, she's definitely dead.
我很遗憾 格洛丽亚 I'm sorry for your loss. Gloria!
格洛丽亚 Gloria! Gl-- Oh!
烦请你把这只海王星的女儿 Would you... take this daughter of Neptune
送回故土好吗 back from whence she came?
就是马桶 亲爱的 没事 The toilet, dear. That's okay.
有什么要帮忙的吗 巴赫曼先生 What can I do for you, Mr. Bachman?
对 要紧的事 Ah yes, to the matter at hand.
我和理查德谈了你们的盒子项目 I spoke with Richard about the box project, and...
我就随意说说我的想法 Well, here are some of my thoughts in no particular order.
-为什么要做盒子呢 -你要说的 - Why a box? - What information
-有什么是我还不知道的吗 -什么 - do I not already have? - I'm sorry?
我说 有什么是我还不知道的吗 I said, "What information do I not already have?"
我的设备已规划好 I already have a five-year run rate
五年营业额和全市场预测 plus a full market forecast for my appliance.
理查德的平台也一样 I have the same for Richard's platform.
我听了他工程师团队的全部意见 I've heard all of his engineering team's complaints.
所以在你浪费时间 So, before you waste time
长篇大论胡扯些什么废话前 with some freeform jazz odyssey of masturbatory bullshit,
告诉我你有什么我还不知道的 just tell me what concrete information you have for me
实质消息 that I do not already possess!
理查德 Richard.
依我看 你有两个选择 The way I see it, you've got about two options.
一 给他做个箱子 One, you build yourself the box.
二 马上给劳里·布里姆打电话 Two, you get Laurie Bream on the phone ASAP.
好 回家见 All right, I'll see you back at the house.
好 Okay.
弘树先生 Ah. Hiroki-san.
那是啥 What is that one?
一个用头发做的问号 It is a question mark made of human hair,
显然是印度死人的头发做的 harvested, apparently, from dead people in India.
是个双关语 说明了 It's a pun. It signifies that
'拉维加'的人要提出宏大而大胆的问题 at Raviga, we ask the big, hairy questions.
对 说到问题 Right. Speaking of questions...
我们该拿杰克怎么办 What should we do about Jack?
我认同你的评估 Well, I concur with your assessment
为数据中心做备份 that a backup appliance for data centers seems
有点大材小用了 an uninspired application of your technology.
我会联系他 I will contact him and we'll have
然后开诚布公地讨论一下 a frank discussion about this.
太棒了 很感谢你听取我的意见 Great. I really appreciate you hearing me out on this.
不言而喻 我从没来找过你 And it goes without saying, I was never here.
什么 What?
你现在就在这儿啊 You are here. Now.
理查德的意思是 What Richard means is he would prefer
他希望你最好不要告诉杰克 if you didn't tell Jack
他来找你谈过这件事 that he came here to talk to you about this.
好 因为别的解释也说不通 Yes, because the other interpretation makes no sense.
杰克 劳里·布里姆来电 在线路一 Jack, Laurie Bream on line one.
同志们 好戏上演了 Guys. Guys, it's happening. It's happening.
你好 Hello.
好了 放大招吧 劳里·布里姆 Okay. Drop the hammer, Laurie Bream.
你干吗呢 他会看见你偷看的 What are you doing? He's going to see you looking.
傻逼显示器挡住了 我看不见 I can't see 'cause of these fucking monitors.
这是谁的错 不是我 嘘 Whose fucking fault is that, okay? It's not my-- Shh!
出事了 Something's happening.
什么 What?
怎么了 怎么了 What's happening? What's happening?
巴克怒了 Oh, man. Barker's pissed.
愤怒程度从1到10 他有多怒 How pissed? Scale of one to ten.
天呐 得有7分 Oh my God. Seven. Fuck.
不不不 有9分 9.5分 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Like a nine, nine and a half.
该死 我全都错过了 Fuck! I'm missing everything.
我要去厨房 I'm going to go to the kitchen.
他又不知道 我兴许饿了呢 He doesn't know. I could be hungry.
结束了 It's over. It's over.
因为这些破烂显示器 I missed the whole fucking thing
我他妈错过了整场好戏 because of these fucking monitors.
理查德 杰克叫你去他办公室 Richard? Jack would like to see you in his office.
好的 Okay.
失陪了 先生们 If you'll excuse me, gentlemen,
我要去问杰克劳里的鸡巴味道如何了 I'm gonna go ask Action Jack how Laurie's dick tastes.
鸡 不对 D-- No. Yeah.
老大 你找我 You wanted to see me, chief?
对 进来 理查德 请坐 Sure, come on in, Richard. Grab a seat.
好 Sure.
你猜刚才谁给我打电话了 So, guess who I just got off the phone with.
不知道 谁 I have no idea. Who?
-劳里·布里姆 -'拉维加'的那个吗 - Laurie Bream. - Laurie... Bream. From Raviga?
对 她坚定决绝地跟我说 Exactly. She was pretty adamant
'魔笛手'的箱子计划 that the whole box project here at Pied Piper was...
错得可悲 woefully misguided.
哇 说得好狠 哇 Whoa. Strong words. Wow.
实际上 她认为 In fact, it was her opinion
我们应该立刻摒弃这个计划 that we should immediately abandon the box
让'魔笛手'转做用户平台 in favor of the consumer platform version of Pied Piper
这也是你们求之不得的吧 which I believe you and your guys were bucking for.
"求之不得"倒不至于 Oh, I don't know about "bucking,"
但是的 你看 but yeah. Yeah, well, hey, look,
劳里·布里姆是投资方 Laurie Bream is the investor.
对 她是投资方 Yeah. She is the investor.
总之 她想在48小时内 Anyway, she wanted a comprehensive,
让我们拿出一份完整的 go-to-market strategy
如何让平台进入市场的策略 for the platform version within 48 hours.
那好吧 劳里要怎样就怎样咯 Wow. Well, what Laurie wants, Laurie gets.
那我们赶紧开始吧 So... yeah. We should probably get started on that.
不 我们不这么干 理查德 No, we shouldn't, Richard.
我们不做平台 We're not building the platform.
我们要做箱子 We're building a box.
好 但是 Okay, but...
劳里不是说要我们做平台吗 didn't Laurie say that she wanted the platform?
对 她是那么说的 然后我说 Yes, she said that, and then I said
如果'魔笛手'要做平台的话 that if Pied Piper was going to build a platform,
她就得先炒了我 she would have to fire me.
那她怎么说的呢 Uh, what did she say?
她说目前她对此并无兴趣 She said she was not interested in doing that at this time.
然后她还说了什么吗 And did she say anything after that?
我们要做那个箱子 理查德 We're building the box, Richard.
从今天开始 12个星期的时间 Twelve weeks from today,
我们要向她提交一台样机 we're going to present her a prototype of that box.
所以 务必完成 So, let's get it done.
好的 Okay.
好 Yup.
还有一件事 理查德 One more thing, Richard.
如果你想刺杀国王 If you're going to shoot the king,
一定要确保下了死手 you better be goddamn sure you kill him.
你明白我的意思吗 You understand what that means?
明吧 Yeah-ar.
你刚说了"明吧"吗 Did you just say... "Yar"?
没有 No.
看看咱们 Look at us.
在大道上游手好闲 Two rogues on the King's Highway.
让鼠辈们在迷宫里兜兜转转吧 Let the rats run in their maze.
这是我们的选择 这就是我们的归宿 We chose this. This is our destiny.
自由 我说的对不 吉尔弗约尔 Freedom. Isn't that right, Gilfoyle?
-你刚说话了吗 -当然 - Did you say something? - Of course.
如果还是爆米花 告诉他们吃不了了 If it's more popcorn, tell 'em we're at capacity.
是《黑衣人》里面的家伙 It's a guy from "Men in Black."
-伯特伦·吉尔弗约尔吗 -对 - Bertram Gilfoyle? - Yeah.
我代表'二十几'招聘方前来 I'm here on behalf of Twen-X recruiting,
-把这个交给你 -派比·范温克 - I'm supposed to give you this. - Pappy Van Winkle.
经典波本威士忌
这才像话 酒我收下了 Now we're talking. I'll take it.
他们跟我说你参加会议后才能把酒给你 They told me not to give it to you until after the meeting.
你的谈判技巧我很欣赏 I respect your skills.
等我穿上外套 Let me get my jacket.
她应该说服巴克断了打造盒子的念头 She was supposed to talk Barker out of making the box.
这他妈怎么回事 What the fuck happened?
-理查德 -干啥 - Richard. - What?
那电话我听了 她努力了 但他说不行 I was on the call, okay? She tried, he said no.
-那她就应该炒了他 -她不能炒了他 - Well, then she should fire him. - She can't fire him.
为什么不能 她就把我给炒了 Why not? She fired me.
就是说 因为她炒了你所以不能炒了他 Exactly. She can't fire him because she fired you.
炒一个年轻CEO 再任命一个经验丰富的 Firing a young CEO and installing a much more experienced one
这叫领导力 looks like leadership.
一个月内连炒两个CEO叫管理混乱 Firing two CEOs in a month looks like chaos.
理查德 听着 我很遗憾 Richard, look, I'm sorry,
但我觉得盒子是板上钉钉的事了 but I think the box is here to stay.
劳里会假装支持这个事 Okay? Laurie's gonna have to pretend to be in favor of it.
她八成会发新闻稿 She'll probably issue press releases
说一下为什么 talking about how it's the
这是对你们高新技术的最完美应用 best application of your visionary technology.
真的没别的办法能让她改主意了吗 Is there nothing that we can say to Laurie to change her mind?
如果劳里能听我的话 If I could control Laurie,
你觉得我还可能看到 do you really think I'd be looking
办公室外面挂着个怪物吗 out my office door at that monstrosity?
天 莫妮卡 他也没那么差劲 Jeez, Monica, he's not that bad.
我是说他可能是有点丑 I mean, he's a little ugly, I guess.
你说的是那个问号 抱歉 Oh, the question mark. Sorry.
吉尔弗约尔先生 我们这边好了 Mr. Gilfoyle. We're ready for you.
大家迫不及待要再次跟你见面了 The guys cannot wait to see you again.
再见面 Again?
-吉尔弗约尔 -这他妈什么情况 - Gilfoyle. - What the fuck?
哥们 再见到你真好 干嘛不坐下呢 Good to see you again, buddy. Why don't you have a seat?
你把我们一半的算法偷走了 You stole half of our algorithm.
你以为你能约我到这儿来 You think you can bring me in here
给我钱让我把剩下的一半卖给你吗 and pay me to give you the rest?
不 我们想让你来 No. We want you
是因为你是全栈工程师 because you're a full-stack engineer.
算法缺失的部分我们已经花钱买来了 We already paid someone else for the missing piece of middle-out.
-放屁 -你认识内维和埃里克吗 - Bullshit. - Do you know Naveen and Eric,
他们前几天还是'纽核力'的技术带头人 who, until very recently, headed up engineering at Nucleus?
-你好 -最近怎么样 - Hey, man. - What's up?
-不好 -那我相信你起码认得出 - Nope. - Well, I'm sure you at least recognize
他们带来的代码 the code they brought us.
预测模块
这就是他们的方法 That's exactly how they had it.
好吧 '尾帧'抄了我们整套的预测环路 Okay. So, Endframe has our entire prediction loop,
一直抄到代码的最后一个分号 down to the last fucking semicolon.
'纽核力'偷了我们一半的知识产权 So, Nucleus stole half our IP,
'尾帧'偷了另外一半 and Endframe stole the other half.
现在他们把它们连在了一起 And now they've knitted them together.
在我们埋头苦建巴克的盒子的时候 So, while we are busy building Barker's box,
'尾帧'正在用平台抢占我们的市场 Endframe is beating us to market with a platform.
所以我们成了一家平庸的设备制造公司 So, basically, we are a fucking mediocre appliance company.
起码做这个我们还能赚点钱 At least we'll make a little money doing it.
太好了 那你就能回到洗车店 Oh, great. So, you can go back to the car wash
再买几条大金链子了 and buy some more chains.
巴基斯坦的金链男[天龙特攻队] Huh, Pakistani Mr. T?
去你妈的 Fuck you.
等等 你现在没戴吗 Wait. Are you not wearing it?
你没戴啊 你是因为我开你玩笑 You're not. Did you take it off
-所以取掉了吗 -不是 - because I was fucking with you? - No.
戴着脖子痒 所以 It was itchy on my neck, so--
放屁 Bullshit.
就不该摘下来 That was a bad decision.
你退缩了 这下就心痛到永远了 You flinched. Now the pain will never end.
抱歉说一句 吉尔弗约尔说得对 I'm sorry to say it, but Gilfoyle's right.
你这样越弄越糟 抱歉 姜戈 You're making it worse. Sorry, Django.
姜戈 Django?
没链子的姜戈 Unchained.
真好 现在连他妈贾里德都敢搞我 Great. Now even fucking Jared is busting my balls.
我是 我是在搞你 I am. I'm-- I'm busting your balls.
你们知道吗 如果你们还要笑我 You know what? If you're gonna give me shit for it anyway,
我还就戴上了 I'm just going to wear it.
好 贾里德 恭喜你扳回一局 Okay, Jared. Congratulations, by the way,
但我们还有别的要搞 好吗 but we have our own balls to worry about, all right?
听着 我们要怎么保住平台 Look, how are we going to save the platform?
我们能怎么着呢 巴克是首席执行官 What choice do we have? Barker is the CEO.
他说什么我们都得照做 We have to do what he says.
真得照做吗 Or do we?
我说不好 我不想就此倒下 I don't know. I don't want to lie down for this, okay?
我不甘心就这么轻易放弃 I don't want to just give up so easily.
理查德 不幸的是 现在这情况 Richard, unfortunately, in this case
我们不得不认命接受 I think we have to roll over and take it.
是吗 Or do we?
-埃利希 你有话说吗 -理查德 - Erlich, you have something to say? - Richard...
当年 乔治·华盛顿创造的事业 when George Washington founded a little startup
就是今天的美利坚合众国 we've come to know as these United States of America,
那时他不满他自己的首席执行官 and he was tired of getting shit from his CEO,
也就是英国国王 the King of England,
难道他认命接受了吗 did he just roll over and take it from behind?
不 他召唤了他的生死兄弟 No. He called on his ride-or-die homeboys,
汤米·杰弗逊 本尼·富兰克林 Tommy Jefferson, Benny Franklin,
还有半个黑人亚历克斯·汉密尔顿 就是迪尼希 and Alex Hamilton-- who was half-black, so that's Dinesh.
我才不是半个黑人 I'm not half-black.
他说 "停下 混蛋们 He said, "Avast, ye fellow badasses,
老子要按自己的意愿建设国家" let's build this country the way we motherfucking want to."
所以 理查德 如果我们想建这个平台 And so, Richard, if we want to build the platform,
我们只需要... all we need to do is...
建平台 build the platform.
讲得不错 That was underwhelming.
你能给我们点细节吗 Perhaps you can go into slightly more detail?
巴克想听什么我们就说什么 We tell Barker exactly what he wants to hear.
这样他就会觉得我们很乖 That way, he thinks we're being good little boys.
但实际上 But what we're actually doing
我们是在建平台 想想看 is building the platform. Think about it.
他会怎么做 What's he gonna do?
-报警吧 -不 - Call the cops. - Actually, no.
也许埃利希说对了 Erlich may be onto something.
如果我们给他的只有平台 If all we gave him was the platform,
杰克就别无选择 Jack would have no other option
只能接受 然后说这都是他的主意 than to embrace it and say it was his idea all along,
因为到那时 他不能告诉劳里真相 because at that point, he can't tell Laurie the truth.
难道他敢说他对自己公司 What? That he had absolutely no idea
所发生的事一无所知吗 what was going on inside of his own company?
那会让他看起来很傻 He'd look like an idiot.
而劳里本身也想要平台 所以... And Laurie wants the platform, anyway, so...
她不会怪罪的 she'd be good for it.
好 Okay.
我们搞一个 臭鼬工厂 We build... a skunkworks.
公司内部的秘密小公司 A secret company inside the company.
给他来一个"十一罗汉" We go all "Ocean's Eleven" on his ass.
等等 "十一罗汉" Hold on. "Ocean's Eleven"?
2001年的电影 讲赌场被劫 It's a 2001 casino heist film,
茱莉亚·罗伯茨和11个男人演的 starring Julia Roberts and 11 men.
我知道那是什么 贾里德 I know what it is, Jared.
我是说 我们不仅要构建 I'm saying not only are we going to have to engineer,
编程 完全自己建平台 code, and stand up a full platform on our own,
还要让杰克和他的人认为 we also have to make Jack and his sales weasels think
我们其实一直在造盒子 we're working on the box the entire time.
如果我们不小心搞砸被抓到 And if we fuck anything up and get caught,
他会拿走我们的股份 可能还会叫警察抓我们 he could take our stock and probably have us arrested.
-好 我加入 -你疯了 - All right, I'm in. - Well, you're insane.
不 迪尼希 你的金链子才是疯了 No, Dinesh, that chain is insane.
不是歌里的那个 And not in the membrane.
Insane In the Membrane是Cypress Hill的一首歌 而Halal是清真的意思 冷得过头的种族歧视梗
抱歉了 清真乐队 Sorry, Cypress Halal.
好了 贾里德 Okay, Jared, settle down.
但这事 真的很天才 But this? This is fucking genius.
好 我们该怎么开始 Okay, how do we even begin to pull it off?
好吧 我们来具体看看 Okay. Well, let's work through it.
我可以弄虚假数据报告 I can generate fake status reports,
假采购订单 假更新 purchase orders, deliverables updates,
我还能和销售联系来协调 and I can liaise with sales to coordinate
我们需要假建什么样的功能 what custom features we need to pretend to build.
很好 Okay, great, yeah,
假建盒子是比较简单的 but faking the box is going to be the easy part.
建平台才是真有难度 Building the platform is the real challenge.
吉尔弗约尔 服务器怎么解决 Gilfoyle, where are we on the server space?
不太好办 That's gonna be tricky.
我们开始搬家的时候 我拆了安东 When we started moving out of the house, I dismantled Anton.
所有框架 图形处理器还有电缆都在公司储藏室里 All the racks, GPUs, and cables are in storage at the office.
-要把他偷出来 -那可是一大堆硬件啊 - We're gonna have to break him out. - That's a shit-ton of hardware.
我们可以一次偷一块 Unless we do it one piece at a time,
就像"肖申克的救赎" like "Shawshank Redemption"
或者"胜利大逃亡" 明白吗 or "The Great Escape," You know?
我偷东西那天穿件更宽大的衣服 I'd have bigger clothing on the day, but--
-等等 -等等 - Wait. - Wait.
我有更好的主意 I've got a better idea.
假设这些积木是安东 Let's say these Legos are Anton,
服务器零部件都可怜地 sad stacks of server components
在储藏室里睡觉 lying dormant in storage.
全部偷运出来太难了 Sneaking all of him out would be too difficult.
但如果我们偷不出来 So, if we can't break Anton out,
也许可以我们自己进去 maybe we can break in.
就在那里把服务器组装起来 Stand the servers up right where they are.
-我们做得到吗 -简单 - Can we do that? - Easy.
我可以将电缆从天花板的托板后面 I can run cable through the drop panel in the ceiling
一直穿过去接到主电源板上 all the way to the building's main power panel.
然后我们从每个人那边 When I pull a little bit of power
都偷一点电过来 没人会知道的 from each of the other tenants, no one will know.
伙计们 我不想泼冷水 Guys, I hate to keep shitting on your campfire,
但服务器不是主要问题 but servers are not the real issue.
我们人力不足 We have a manpower problem.
建平台可是个大工程 There's a ton of engineering to be done on the platform.
没错 他说得对 但我们必须偷偷付他们钱 Yeah, he's right, but we have to pay them under the table.
我正好认识合适的人 I know just the right man for the job.
你们真是疯了 但我喜欢 You guys are fucking nuts, but I dig it.
这样吧 我之前在这干活没要钱 Here's the deal. I'm going to need the back pay you guys owe me
你们得给我补上钱 for when I was working for free,
以及我辞职损失的工资 not to mention lost wages from my old job.
以及贾里德性骚扰我 要我做那个 Oh, and damages from when Jared sexually harassed me
莫妮卡妞的闺蜜所造成的精神损失 into being friends with that Monica chick.
所以 你加入我们吗 So... all that and you're in?
加入 个鬼 In? No.
这只是不向巴克告发你们的 That's just to keep me from telling Barker
秘密行动的封口费 about your secret project.
什么 你说真的 What? Are you serious?
真真儿的 Oh yeah.
卡尔拉
我们手里的大部分现金都没了 Well, there goes most of our cash.
我们刚刚被勒索了两万块 We just got extorted for $20,000.
去他的卡尔拉 她本来也只是累赘 Fuck Carla. She was dead weight, anyway.
-有别的办法吗 -我有个点子 - What's next? - I just thought of something.
这是个大事 但我想我有办法 It's a big problem, but I think I've got a solution.
你好 我是伯特伦·吉尔弗约尔 Hello, this is Bertram Gilfoyle.
没错 我仍在求职 Yes, I'm still available,
而我愿意与你和你的客户再谈一谈 and I would reconsider sitting down with you and your clients
只要你在半小时或更短时间内 if you send four large pizzas
叫四个大号披萨 to 5230 Newell Road
送到纽维尔路5230号 in 30 minutes or less.
好了 我看差不多了 Okay. I think that covers it.
方方面面都想到了 计划想好了 We've thought of everything. We have a plan.
-大家同意吗 -同意 - Everybody in? - In.
-同意 -太他妈同意了 - In. - Fuck yes, I'm in.
我还觉得我需要 And I'm in to the idea of taking
承担更多的领导职责 a bigger leadership role in the company.
我们不会再犯同样的错误... We're not gonna make the same mistakes--
埃利希 说"同意"就好 Okay, Erlich, just-- just say, "in."
-我们都只说"同意" -我同意加入 - We're all just saying, "in." - I'm in...volved.
每次加盟都少不了同意 Hey, you can't spell "involved" without an "in."
同意就得了 迪尼希呢 Just be in. Uh, Dinesh?
好吧 去他的 我同意 不过有个条件 All right, fuck it, I'm in... but on one condition.
我要大家都庄严宣誓 I'm going to need everyone to solemnly swear,
再也不拿我的大金链子开玩笑了 that they will no longer make fun of my gold chain.
一个字都不许提 Not a word ever again.
几位 我觉得这个条件还是可以同意的 Well, guys, I think we can agree to that.
这么大的牺牲 这个计划最好管用 This plan better fucking work with a sacrifice like this.
我们要不喝杯波本来庆祝一下吧 Shall we drink from the teat of Pappy to celebrate?
我看我没准会喜欢上班了呢 I think I might actually enjoy going to work now.
等等 Wait.
我们不能喜欢上班 We can't enjoy going to work.
梅纳茨哈根的背包 Meinertzhagen's haversack.
-什么 -梅纳茨哈根的背包 - What? - Meinertzhagen's haversack.
没人知道吗 不会吧 No one? Really?
没人听说过梅纳茨哈根的背包吗 No one's heard of Meinertzhagen's haversack?
当然听说过 贾里德 快解释给他们 Of course I have, Jared. Just explain it to them.
这是一个军事欺骗的原则 Well, it's a principle of military deception.
简单来说就是戏要做足 Essentially, it means you have to continue to act the part.
在大家眼里 So, as far as anyone knows,
我们还是在造我们讨厌的盒子 we're still building a box that we hate.
我们要有这个样子 We need to act like it.
说的没错 That's exactly right.
如果我们做得不像 巴克就会怀疑我们 If we do anything differently, Barker's going to be onto us.
我们必须要向巴克不停地抱怨 We have to keep complaining about Barker.
我们必须对这个盒子絮叨个没完 We have to keep bitching about the box.
我们必须要继续取笑你的大金链子 We have to keep making fun of your gold chain.
必须如此 没有别的办法 迪尼希 We have to. We don't have any other choice, Dinesh.
-他说得对 -真抱歉 大歌星迪尼希 - He's right. - It's a shame, Bell Biv Dinesh,
另一个爱戴大金链子的组合
不过说句难听的 那金链子简直辣眼 but unfortunately, that chain is... Poison.
好了 敬臭鼬工厂 All right. To skunkworks!
那好吧 我一般不会大早上 Hey, all right. I don't usually drink
七点半就喝酒 不过 7:30 in the morning, but...
那就喝吧 All right.
哥几个 我们必须把这里涉及臭鼬工厂的 Hey, guys, look, we have to shred everything in this house
一切资料都粉碎掉 that pertains to skunkworks.
只要有任何人发现哪怕一丁点我们的计划 If anyone catches wind of anything that we've done here,
我们就死定了 we are fucked.
停车场一层
好了几位 要上战场了 Okay, you guys, this is it.
回不了头了 No turning back now.
迪尼希 我想了几个关于你大金链子的笑话 Dinesh, I have a few premium chain insults
等到了上面我就说给你听 that I'm going to lay on you when we get in there.
不是为了我自己 而是为了掩护大家 Not for myself, obviously, but for the team.
我也想了一两个 提前道个歉 I just might have one too. Sorry in advance.
好 太好了 Yeah. Great.
尽管说吧 混蛋们 Have at it, assholes.
迪尼希 好一条粗链子 你和你妈肛交的时候 Hey, Dinesh, nice chain. Do you choke your mother with it
就是拿这链子勒她脖子的吗 when you put your penis in her butthole?
你脑抽了吗 我去 What the fuck? Oh shit!
-理查德 -好了 我帮你捡 - Richard. - Here, I've got it.
不行不行 那是我的私人资料 还给我 No, no, no, that's private. Excuse me.
臭鼬工厂 Skunkworks?
那是私人信息 Private information.
基斯 你要去哪 Uh, Keith, where are you going?
理查德 你为什么要 Richard, why did you bring
把臭鼬工厂文件带到办公室来 all the skunkwork docs into the office?
你应该把这些文件碎掉 You were supposed to shred those.
没错 但我想带到这里来粉碎的 Yes, but I was gonna shred them here,
我们家里又没有粉碎机 是不是 because we don't have a shredder at the house, do we?
几位 Guys?
来我办公室 马上 My office. Now.