我刚被炒了 I just got fired.
那我呢 And what about me?
关你什么事 What about you?
我可怎么办啊 What about me?
好吧 就这样吧 Okay. That's it.
我他妈的现在就出门 I'm going over there right fucking now,
他们走之前到 before they leave.
埃利希 我得开你的车 Erlich, I'm gonna use your car.
贾里德 给罗恩·拉弗兰梅打电话让他在那见我 Jared, you call Ron LaFlamme, tell him to meet me there.
这帮狗娘养的混蛋 Fuck these assholes!
等下 理查德 我跟你一起去 Wait. Richard, I'm coming with you.
来 贾里德 收拾收拾 Here. Jared, clear this.
把烟都搞出去 Get all the smoke out of it.
不然该把仪器弄坏了 Otherwise, it damages the device.
别跟个娘们似的 Don't be a pussy.
他们怎么能这样呢 How could they do this?
怎么能把我从我自己的公司炒了呢 How could they fire me from my own company?
冷静点 我们会反抗的 Just stay calm. We're gonna fight this.
神啊 理查德 慢点 Jesus, Richard, slow down.
停停停 Stop, stop, stop!
我撞到鹿了吗 Did I just hit a deer?
没有 偶滴神 No, goddamn it!
是杀千刀的斯坦福机器人队 Fucking Stanford Robotics.
操 那我们是不是要迟到了 Shit. Is this gonna make us late?
他们把公鹿机器人撞死了 They killed the Bam-bot.
去你妈的公鹿机器人 Fuck your Bam-bot!
你们这群斯坦福小婊子把老子的格栅给弄坏了 You little Stanford cunts fucked up my grille!
真他妈不是好货 等等 Fucking piece of shit! Wait.
你个小贱人 You little cunt!
卧槽 Fuck!
这是送你老娘的 This one's for your mama.
埃利希别说了 埃利希 我们得赶去"拉维加" Erlich, stop. Come on. Erlich, we've got to get to Raviga.
别这样 Hey, no, no.
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本蓝光版外挂字幕由 风吹来的那片云 用HDTV版调轴
谢谢你能来 罗恩 Thanks for coming, Ron.
我随时可以为你逃掉动感单车课 理奇 I'd bail on spin class any day for you, Richie.
原创翻译 双语字幕
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理查德 理查德 Richard. Richard.
我一直给你打电话你都没接 I kept calling, you weren't answering.
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翻译: 笨熊猫 elflife 圈圈 江湖人称王姑娘
跟爪子解释吧 莫妮卡 Talk to the hand, Monica.
理查德 你能停下吗 我能解释 Richard, can you stop? I can explain, okay?
翻译: 西之 不高兴童鞋 蓝光章鱼X
不言自明 莫妮卡 你投票同意炒了我 It's pretty self-explanatory, Monica. You voted to fire me.
校对: 呆熊猫 somehacker
搞什么啊 What the fuck?
我才不会让你们把我赶出去呢 I mean, there is no way I'm letting you push me out of this.
时间轴: 姜姜 纸袋
我们的本意不是把你赶出去 Our intention is not to push you out.
我们希望能让你转入一个 We wish rather to transition you
更适合你的角色 to a more appropriate role within the company.
后期: 污里海海 总监： 没用的傻熊猫
一个新的首席执行官回来负责公司的运行 A new CEO will be brought in to manage day-to-day operations
而你则是首席技术官 while you assume the role of Chief Technology Officer.
特别鸣谢: 互利科技 hoolix.com
恭喜你 Congratulations.
-首席技术官 -对 - CTO? - Yes.
你打算让我给我自己的公司打工 You want me to be an employee at my own company?
依然由你负责工程部分 You would still be in charge of the engineering,
你可以保留你的期权 继续留在董事会 and you'd continue vesting your shares, and keep your board seat.
你是说那个一小时前投票解雇我的董事会吗 The same seat I had an hour ago when you voted to fire me as CEO?
-还真方便啊 -理查德 别这样 - That came in handy. - Richard, please.
我知道这事苦甜掺半 但今早 I realize this may be bittersweet, but earlier this evening
"拉维加"决定出资五百万投资魔笛手系列A期 Raviga decided to officially fund Pied Piper Series A Round
价值五千万 at $5 million at a $50 million valuation.
中心思想就是 你创建的公司 Essentially, you have created
对于你来说太有价值了你管不了了 a company that is too valuable for you to run.
你应该为自己自豪才对 You should feel good about that.
你是在搞笑吗 是我创建了这个公司 Are you kidding me? I made the company, okay?
是我想到了魔笛手这个名字 I'm the one who came up with the name "Pied Piper."
对 Yeah.
罗恩 我能私下跟你说句话吗 Ron, can I have a word please?
他们不能这样对我吧 They can't really do this, can they?
他们已经这样对你了 I think they just did.
你还记得你跟汉纳曼搞的那个烂买卖吗 You remember that shit deal you brought me from Hanneman,
我跟你说"理奇 这可是个烂买卖" and I said, "Hey, Richie, this is a shit deal,"
但你还是干了 but you took it anyway
因为你想在有限人生中疯狂一次 because you wanted to do something crazy for once in your life?
对 我记得 Yes, I remember.
你基本上就是给枪上了膛递给了汉纳曼 Well, you basically just loaded a gun and handed it to Hanneman,
汉纳曼转身又把枪卖给了拉维加 and Hanneman sold that gun to Raviga,
然后拉维加用枪杆子揍了你一顿 and then Raviga just fucking pistol-whipped you.
但至少他们让你保期权 But hey, at least they're letting you keep your shares
还让你留在董事会 and your board seat.
你可能会损失点期权给新的首席执行官 You lose a little blood with the dilution
但我见过更惨的 for the new CEO, but I've seen worse.
比如你跟汉纳曼搞的那破买卖 Like that shit deal you brought me from Hanneman.
只要给理查德一点空间 If we give Richard a little bit of space,
他是可以逐渐接受现实的 he'll be able to wrap his head around this,
这样新首席执行官就能平稳上任 and a smooth transition to a new CEO will be possible.
我曾担任'亚威亚托'首席执行官... To wit, I served as the CEO of Aviat--
巴赫曼先生 Mr. Bachman.
在我参与投资的'魔笛手'公司里 In the version of Pied Piper in which I am invested,
你现在不会是首席执行官 永远也不会 you will not be CEO. Not now. Not ever.
女士 您可真是顶级悍妇啊 Well, you, madam, are a shrew of the first order.
听着 我不会坐以待毙的 Okay. I'm not gonna let you do this.
我要反抗 I'm gonna fight it.
我理解你很生气 I understand you're upset.
大家也看得出 我的情绪也很激动 As you can see, this is a very emotional time for me as well,
但参与竞争首席执行官席位的候选人 but we have some very strong candidates
不少都非常有竞争力 coming in for the CEO position,
我们很期待能听到你的意见 and we would so appreciate your input.
我的意见 My input?
你想让我帮你们挑人来顶替我吗 You want me to help you pick my new replacement?
那我还不如辞职算了 I'd rather quit.
损失多少钱我都不在乎了 And I don't care how much money I lose,
反正等我告你们个底朝天 because I am gonna get it all back
我都能赚回来 when I sue the living shit out of you!
好吧 算了 算了 Okay. All right. All right.
罗恩 走了 Ron, let's go.
抱歉 我必须告知您 Sorry, I'm forced to inform you
我将无法继续为您提供法律咨询服务 that I can no longer provide you with legal counsel.
你这是什么意思 你是我的律师 What are you talking about? You're my attorney.
不 理论上讲 我是'魔笛手'的企业律师 No. Technically, I'm Pied Piper's corporate counsel,
而你刚宣布了辞职意向 and you just declared your intention to walk.
所以实质上 你算是威胁要起诉我了 So, in effect, you kind of just threatened to sue me,
而我不怎么喜欢被威胁 亨德里克斯先生 and I don't take kindly to threats, Mr. Hendricks.
亨德里克斯先生 "Mr. Hendricks"?
不叫我'理奇'了 What happened to "Richie"?
抱歉 我也不能与你 Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to discuss him
谈论他 亨德里克斯先生 with you either, Mr. Hendricks.
理查德 如果我不投票开除你 Richard, if I didn't vote to remove you,
劳里只会暂停会议 then Laurie would've adjourned the meeting,
在'拉维加'随便找个人替我当董事 replaced my seat on the board with someone else at Raviga,
然后他们一样会投票开除你 and then they would've voted to remove you.
至少这样我还在内部 At least this way, I'm still in the game.
你是想说 这样你还有工作吧 No. You mean, at least this way, you kept your job.
犹太背叛自己领导 背叛耶稣的时候 At least the actual Judas had the courtesy to kill himself
至少他还懂得自杀 after betraying his leader, Jesus Christ.
全世界的首席执行官 听说过吗 He's the CEO of the world. Ever heard of him?
懂 我读的天主教学校 Yeah. Got it. Went to Catholic school.
是吗 读了多久 Really? How long?
听我说 我还是公司的董事 Look, I'm still on the board of this company.
我还会参加全部会议 I'll be in all of the meetings.
也许什么时候就能帮上忙 Maybe I can be helpful at some point.
想帮忙吗 莫妮卡 You wanna be helpful, Monica?
说服劳里让我继续做首席执行官 Convince Laurie to keep me on as CEO.
我知道我犯过错 人无完人 Look, I know I made some mistakes. I wasn't perfect,
但我会改进的 哪怕像'推特'那家伙一样 but I'll get better. I'll even go to one of those CEO coaches,
找个什么首席执行官教练 like that guy at fucking Twitter.
理查德 没用的 Richard, it's done.
劳里已经找到新首席执行官了 Laurie already found a new CEO.
什么 这么快 What? Already?
你说你不想参与面试 You said that you didn't want to be part of the interview process,
所以他们今早就定了人选 so they picked someone this morning.
杰克·巴克 是位极老练的顶级首席执行官 Jack Barker. He's an incredibly skilled, top-notch CEO.
我才不管他是谁 没人在乎 I don't care who he is, okay? None of us do.
杰克·巴克 行动者杰克·巴克 杰克·巴克净身价 杰克·巴克抗癌基金 杰克·巴克'企融系统' 杰克·巴克'转角遇到线'
行动者杰克·巴克 "Action" Jack Barker?
开玩笑吗 居然不要我要那个白毛老骨头 Seriously? They picked that gray-haired fossil over me?
不是说你拒了他们吗 You said you turned the job down.
我说的是 我们互相没看上 I said it was mutual.
怎么了 这形容挺准确的 What? That's accurate.
他管理过'企融系统' He ran Entercross Systems.
1998年首次公开募股超过十亿美元 They IPO'ed in 1998 for more than a billion dollars.
是吗 那他妈都20年前了 Yeah, 20 fucking years ago.
那是科技圈1.0 最近呢 Tech 1.0. What has he done lately?
之后管理'转角遇到线'四年 After that, he ran Turnwire for four years
直到公司以20亿被微软收购 until it was acquired by Microsoft for $2 billion.
老天爷 这家伙了不得 Holy shit. This guy's a hitter.
那也是20世纪前十年 中期他做什么去了 He was, in the oughts. What's he done in the 20-teens?
看起来他以他母亲的名义 Looks like he started a foundation
发起了一个基金会 目的是治疗癌症 in his mother's name to cure cancer.
后来情况如何 Yeah, how's that going?
他妈肯定死了 Yeah. I bet his mother's dead.
是 正因此他才成立基金会的吧 Yeah, that's probably why he started the foundation.
理查德 劳里明天就跟他见面了 Richard, Laurie's meeting with him tomorrow.
你应该一起去跟他谈谈 You should come in and talk with him.
门都没有 No fucking way.
你好好想想 你要知道 Think this through. I mean, you have to know
你无法再创建一家压缩算法公司了 that you can't start another compression company.
不会有风投人冒着被起诉风险去投资 No VC will fund that out of fear of being sued,
除非你想到了完全与众不同 and unless you have some totally different,
扭转乾坤的点子 game-changing idea lying around--
你是说如果我走我就完蛋了吗 So you're saying that I'm fucked if I leave?
不 我是说... No, I'm saying that--
好吧 那我就算完蛋了 Okay. Well, then I guess I'm fucked,
因为我走定了 because I'm out.
我走的话贾里德也走 迪尼希和吉尔弗约尔都走 And when I leave, Jared's out, Dinesh is out, Gilfoyle is out.
所有人都走了 Everybody's out.
所以祝你在公司里好运 莫妮卡 So good luck with the company there, Monica.
就只剩下你 劳里·布里姆 It'll just be you, Laurie Bream,
还有个癌症都治不好的混蛋了 and some fucking asshole who can't even cure cancer.
他说得对 He's right.
理查德去哪里我就去哪里 Where Richard goes, I go.
莫妮卡 原谅我现在有点嗨 Monica, excuse how high I am,
但天主教学校里的人 but are the uniforms in
跟他们在网上一样那么低级趣味吗 Catholic schools as low-cut as they are online?
滚 Fuck off.
你告诉理查德你走了吗 Did you tell Richard you were out?
没有 你呢 No. Did you?
没有 No.
我们走吗 Are we out?
盖文告诉你是什么事了吗 Did Gavin tell you what this is about?
我们很久没说话了 We haven't spoken in some time.
事出紧急 感谢大家前来 Thank you all for coming on such short notice.
我要发表一个艰难的声明 I have a difficult announcement to make.
我们做技术的通常认为失败是好事 We, in the tech business, often refer to failure as a good thing.
失败是成长 Failure is growth.
失败是学习 Failure is learning.
但有时失败就是失败 But sometimes failure is just failure.
我认为... I think...
抱歉 I'm sorry.
我没想到会这么难 I didn't think it would be this hard.
但是再见总是很难 But goodbyes are always hard,
尤其说再见的那个人是我 especially when I am the one saying goodbye.
今天 立即生效 Today, effective immediately,
我盖文·贝尔森 互利的创始人兼首席执行官 I, Gavin Belson, founder and CEO of Hooli,
被迫跟纽核力部门的所有人再见 am forced to officially say goodbye to the entire Nucleus division.
纽核力所有员工都会收到正式解约通知 All Nucleus personnel will be given proper notice and terminated.
但大家不要搞错了 But make no mistake.
尽管走的是他们 Though they're the ones leaving,
但是我必须 it is I who must remain
承受他们失败的重担 and bear the heavy burden of their failure.
是我的错 It is my fault.
我信任了他们能完成工作 I trusted them to get the job done.
但这就是领导的代价 But that is the price of leadership.
谢谢 Thank you.
我第一次见这么勇敢的行为 That was the gutsiest thing I've ever seen.
令人惊叹 Amazing.
慢着 这是说... So, wait, does that mean...
丹波克 Uh... Denpok?
我能喝你的大杯饮料吗 Can I have your Big Gulp?
我知道我们一直这么说 I know we keep saying this,
但即便理查德是个好人 but even though Richard is a great guy...
才华横溢的码农 And a brilliant coder.
他很厉害 He's wonderful.
但是 他有点缺乏... Nevertheless, he is lacking in certain...
管理能力 managerial capacities.
-说得对 -对吧 - Totally fair. - It's fair, right?
他仍然是个很棒的码农 He's still a great coder.
而且是个很棒的人 And an amazing human being.
-好了 听着 -真的... - Okay, look. - Such...
我们有很多关于他的话想说 We have a lot of shit we want to say about him.
但是非得这么冠冕堂皇地夸他吗 Do we have to keep prefacing it with all this nice-guy stuff?
如果要这样 我们要在这里待一整晚了 I mean, if so, we're gonna be here all night.
其实是要夸夸他的 Yeah, we kind of do, though,
这样才能抵消他做的那些破事 just to offset the shittiness of all the shitty stuff.
我们用字典补丁式方法来说怎么样 What if we use like a dictionary patch?
把这些夸他的话压缩起来 To compress all the nice-guy stuff.
变成缩写那样 Like an acronym.
没错 Exactly.
理查德人很好 但是 "Richard is great, but you know"...
理-人-好-但 R-I-g-b-y.
理人好但 Rigby.
理人好但就代表了所有夸他的话 Rigby is all the nice-guy stuff.
好 理人好但 Okay. Rigby.
他就假定我们会跟他一起走 But he just assumed we were gonna leave with him,
这根本就是扯淡啊 which is kind of total bullshit, right?
太目中无人了 That's really arrogant.
理人好但 我们放弃了自己的应用 Rigby. We gave up our own apps...
就为了能为他赴汤蹈火 so that we could bust our asses for him.
我们凭啥要在被风投看上的关口 Why the fuck should we give up our Pied Piper shares
放弃自己在魔笛手的期权 right when we get funded
全怪他自己脑子进水 because he's too much of a prima donna
不想让个更有经验的人 to let someone experienced come in
来正确地管理公司 and run the company the way its supposed to be run.
理人好但 理人好但 Rigby. Rigby.
我现在真的是要气疯了 Now I'm actually getting kind of fucking angry!
我们一分钱不拿地拼命 I mean, we put in so much work for no pay,
他现在以为可以一走了之吗 and now he thinks he's gonna walk out on us?
说真的 让他自己玩蛋去吧 I mean, seriously, fuck that guy.
去他妈的 理人好但 Fuck him. Rigby.
我们要怎么办 What are we gonna do?
理人好但 理人好但 Rigby. Rigby.
理查德 我给你带了个逗你开心的东西 Richard, I have something that might cheer you up.
这是啥 What is this?
来 郁闷小哥 打开看看 Go on, Gloomy Gus, open it.
好 Okay.
这是一箱子各种公司的信息文件吗 So this is a box of files with companies' information on it?
不 这是所有 No. These are all companies
我自作主张联系过的 that I took the liberty of reaching out to
并愿意请你出任首席技术官的公司 that are actually offering you the job of CTO.
真的吗 Really?
其中有些还不错 Some of these companies are pretty good.
“震颤光线”是真心不错 Flutterbeam's like... really good.
当然了 他们都很好 Of course it is. They all are.
你可是个大人物 You're the belle of the ball,
这些都是你的追随者 and these are all your swains,
希望能得到你的垂青 hoping for a glimpse of ankle.
字幕 The nest wherein the asp doth coil.
理查德人呢 他来吗 Where's Richard? Is he coming?
不来 Nope.
恭喜你 你成功打垮了一个好人 Congratulations, you've successfully broken a good man.
那就是巴克吗 Is that Barker?
对 Uh... yeah.
你打算怎么办 What are you gonna do?
《修士调侃》: 以善意调侃一位名人为表演形式的喜剧演出
我刚刚花了十六个小时在《修士调侃》上 I just spent the last 16 hours cherry-picking Friars Roasts
搜索顶级老人笑话 for the premium old-man jokes.
说到底 我想用他的钛合金假髋骨 Essentially, I'm going to beat him to death
把他打死 with his own titanium hips.
不光是为了我 也是为了理查德 Not just for me, but for Richard.
杰克·巴克 又叫行动者巴克 Jack Barker, aka Action Jack.
我们终于见面了 We meet at last.
埃利希·巴赫曼 Erlich Bachman.
巴赫曼先生 Mr. Bachman.
很高兴终于见到你了 Pleasure to finally meet you.
我是大粉丝 I'm a big fan.
真的吗 是啥的粉丝 美达施保健品的粉 Oh, really? Of what? Metamucil?
小儿麻痹还是留声机的粉 Polio? The phonograph?
一条好鱼的粉丝 A nice piece of fish?
隔离饮水机的粉丝 Segregated water fountains?
珀金斯家庭餐厅老年折扣的粉丝 Senior citizen discounts at Perkins Family restaurants?
睾丸动脉萎缩导致的阳痿的粉丝 Erectile dysfunction because of corroded penile arteries?
用魔鬼蛋做正餐的粉丝 Deviled eggs as an entree?
还是《喜欢艾克》的粉丝 Liking Ike?
不 No.
都不是 巴赫曼先生 None of those, Mr. Bachman.
我是你的粉丝 I am a fan of yours.
自你掌管亚威亚托起就是了 Have been ever since you were at the helm of Aviato.
你知道亚威亚托 You know Aviato?
对 亚威亚托 Yes. Aviato.
我的亚威亚托 My Aviato?
还有别的公司叫亚威亚托吗 Is there any other Aviato?
法律上来讲 不可能有 Well, legally, there cannot be.
巴克先生 很高兴认识你 Mr. Barker, pleasure to meet you.
-那是亚麻籽松饼吗 -是的 - Is that a poppy seed muffin? - Yes, sir.
妈妈吃过了 老爹也想来一个 Well, Poppy wants one 'cause Mommy already got hers.
互利股价大涨7%
消息称盖文·贝尔森减记了 Hooli stock jumped seven percent today
整个'纽核力'项目资产账面价值 on this news that Gavin Belson is writing down
互利股价今日因此大涨7% the entire Nucleus project.
究竟发生了什么 What's happening here?
这是个大胆的举动 It was a courageous move.
他是个直肠子 He's a straight shooter,
很显然 华尔街也对此做出了回应 and obviously Wall Street is responding to that.
你还有什么想法 So, what else do you think--
根据我们的统计 So, by our account,
互利近半数的聘用协议 just under 50 percent of Hooli employment agreements
包含竞业禁止条款 include a non-compete clause.
员工任职时与离职后一定时间内不得供职于竞争对手
正因为这项条款 The same clause that caused us
我们才在仲裁中输掉了'魔笛手'的诉讼 to lose the Pied Piper lawsuit in arbitration
因此没有法律效力 and are thus legally invalid,
我们的一些知识产权也遭到了质疑 calling into question some of our IP ownership.
该死 我就怕这个 Shit. I was afraid of that.
但假设一下 这里面也蕴藏着机遇 But hypothetically, this also presents an opportunity.
我们可辞退其中任何人且无需支付遣散费 Any of those people could be dismissed with no severance.
未行权的股票将重新回到公司的期权池中 Any unvested stock would return to the company option pool.
换句话说 我们有权 So, in other words, we have the right
和其中任何人终止协议 to terminate any of those people
不仅没有任何不良后果 with no repercussions whatsoever,
还能从中获利 and we'd actually make money?
没错 Correct.
我们的年度个人绩效评估显示 You know, our annual individual performance reviews
20%的员工工作不达标 showed a 20 percent incidence of sub-standard work.
基本上每五个互利员工中就有一个 So essentially, one out of every five Hooli team members
应该被裁掉 deserve to be fired.
不好意思 您说什么 Oh, I'm sorry. What?
你紧张吗 So, are you nervous?
没有 我感觉还挺好 No, actually. I feel pretty good.
'震颤光线'是我们看过的最好的公司 Flutterbeam was the best company we looked at.
他们技术很棒 待遇也很诱人 Their tech is great. Their offer is amazing.
我其实已经有点激动了 Actually, I'm kind of pumped.
你这一激动搞得我也激动了 Well, your pumpedness makes me pumped.
你这儿 好了 You just got-- okay.
-我来 -好的 - I'll do it. - Yeah.
好 贾里德 All right. Well, Jared...
我们有一天的时间来想明白 we gotta one day figure out
你做什么工作 what we're gonna do for you for a job.
理查德 你先去 站稳脚跟 Richard, you'll go. You'll establish yourself,
等有合适的时机 再回来请我 and when the time is right, you'll send for me.
理查德 你必须和这个人聊聊 Richard, you have to talk to this man.
谁啊 巴克 算了 Who, Barker? Pass.
理查德 这家伙真有来头啊 This guy is real, okay, Richard?
有了他的管理技能 With his managerial skills
再加上你的工程师才能 and your talent as an engineer,
我们现在聊的也许就是D开头的那个词啊 we could be talking about the D-word here.
-丁丁 -不 十角兽 - Dick? - No. Decacorn.
一个在首次公开募股前 A company that's valued over $10 billion
估值就突破100亿美元的公司 before its initial public offering. All right?
他还会在'拉维加'待一个小时 He's still at Raviga for another hour.
你就去和他谈谈吧 Please go talk to him.
抱歉 我不能去了 Sorry, I can't do that.
我决定了去'震颤光线' I'm already set up at Flutterbeam.
那家公司的首席执行官自己说 Whose CEO, unprompted, said,
理查德这样的头脑百年一遇 "A brain like Richard's comes along once in a generation."
不好意思 我就是想得瑟一下 Sorry. I'm just proud.
理查德 我不是要你和他抱抱 Richard, I'm not asking you to spoon with the guy
或者插他 or even fork him.
-我只是要你 -那是什么 - What I'm asking for-- - What is that?
"插"就是用你的丁丁和两腿 Forking is when you use your dick and your two legs
戳他的下半身 to stab him in the lower torso.
我只是要你在抛弃我们的成果之前 I'm asking for you to take 10 minutes and talk to him
花十分钟时间和他谈谈 before you throw everything that we built away.
没错 我说的是"我们"的成果 And yes, I did say "we."
如果你想去'拉维加'的话 I mean, if you want to stop by Raviga,
去'震颤光线'时顺路拜访就是 it's on the way to Flutterbeam.
我给他丢了重磅炸弹 I mean, I threw some Tyson-level haymakers at this guy.
理查德 他闪都没闪 Richard, he didn't flinch.
他就像蝴蝶一样优雅从容 He floats like a butterfly.
理查德 Hey, Richard.
怎么了 What's going on?
-我们刚才在聊天 -好的 - We've been talking. - Okay.
现在真的不合适 理查德 Guys, this isn't really a great time. Richard.
我们想告诉你点事儿 We wanna tell you something. Right?
重要的事情 Yeah, it's something important.
还是迟点说吧 理查德 Maybe later. So, Richard?
你们说吧 Guys, come on.
我们知道你要离开... We know you're leaving...
-没错 我们很清楚 -但是 - Yep. Well aware. - ...but...
-我们不走 -对 我们打算留在"魔笛手" We're not. Yeah. ...we're gonna stay at Pied Piper.
真的吗 Really?
你笑什么 Why are you laughing?
抱歉 I'm sorry. Wow.
你们真觉得 Well, it's just that you really think
没有我你们能够拓展平台吗 that you're gonna be able to scale the platform without me?
见鬼 Goddamn it!
-对 -你觉得我们做不到吗 - Yeah. - You don't think we can?
我知道你们做不到 Well, I know you can't.
真敢说 That's a bold statement.
-理查德 -我们有很多技术负债 - Richard. - We have massive tech debt.
你们真觉得没有我 你们可以 You really think that you can scale and deploy my library
拓展使用我的库吗 without any input from me?
你们是认真的吗 Are you serious here?
-当然是 -是的 - Yes, we do. - Yeah.
你们可真是痴心妄想 Then I guess you are truly delusional.
你可真是自大狂 Well, I think you're an arrogant prick.
我自大狂 I'm the arrogant prick.
好吧 公司的代码代码都不是你们写的 Okay. This is coming from two people
还自以为很了解 还说我自大 who think they know everything about code they didn't even write.
我们写了很多代码 We wrote a lot of the code.
-只有一点而已 -你猜怎么着 我们就要留下来 - You wrote some of it. - You know what? We're gonna stay,
我们要把'魔笛手'打造好 证明你错了 and we're gonna build Pied Piper just to prove you wrong.
好吧 谢谢你们的团结 Okay. Thank you for the solidarity by the way,
一丘之貉 and sticking with your friend.
埃利希 告诉巴克让他去死 You know what, Erlich? You can tell Barker to go fuck himself,
这样我就能去"震颤光线" so I can go to Flutterbeam
看着这俩混蛋自生自灭了 and then watch these two assholes crash and burn
他们自以为能打造好'魔笛手'呢 trying to build out Pied Piper by themselves.
真是太棒了 This'll be great.
挑得真是时候啊 伙计们 我谢谢你们 Great timing, guys. Thank you so much.
你厉害 迪尼希 Premium stuff, Dinesh.
理查德 理查德 Richard. Richard?
现在我们这里是后理格比时代了 Well, we are now living in a post-Rigby world.
这地方好棒 Man, this place is amazing.
是啊 我们筹了一大笔钱 Yeah. We raised a shit ton of money.
发展速度要上天了 We're growing fast as balls.
但我们的工程质量 But we're not exactly super psyched
还不是太强 with the quality of our engineering.
所以我来了就好了 对吧 Well, it's a good thing I'm here then, right?
说真的 对于你们的视频平台 All joking aside, I actually have a few thoughts
我有几个想法 如果你... on your video platform if you--
我们很满意我们的基础平台 We're pretty happy with the basic platform.
我们要把更赞的任务交给你 We want to hand you something way cooler.
算是一个秘密项目吧 It's kind of like a secret project.
我可得提醒你 真的太赞了 I got to warn you, though. It's pretty rad.
坐吧 Sit right here.
好 你好 All right. Oh. Hello.
这是现在 This is the present.
准备好进入未来了吗 You ready to go to the future?
当然 Sure.
三 二 一 Three, two, one.
看 Bam!
我长胡子了 Oh. I-- I have a mustache.
没错 的确是 Fuck yeah, you do.
看看这个 And check this out.
把头侧一点 看到了吗 Turn your head. See that?
完美的3D全息合成影像胡 Compositing perfect 3-D holographic mustaches
在视频聊天中使用距离感应摄像头 using depth-sensing cameras in a live video chat.
-还没人做这个呢 -史无前例 - And no one's doing it. - Nobody.
抱歉 这就是你们说的很赞的东西吗 Sorry. This is the-- this is the rad thing?
理查德 我们承认 Look, Richard, we agree, okay?
的确还不够好 We're not there yet.
插件不咋地 所以延迟太高 We're using a crappy plug-in, so the latency is bad.
头转得太快的话 胡子会挂到耳朵上 You turn too fast, that mustache is on your ear.
但有你的帮忙 我们认为我们可以将延时时间 But with your help, we think we can cut our 'stache lag
缩短到... 20毫秒 变成光速 to just... 20 milliseconds motion-to-photon
在九个月之内可以吗 in... nine months?
刚好能赶上胡子节 Just in time for Movember.
你员工牌上的照片想用哪种胡子呢 So, which one do you want on your employee badge?
-汤姆·赛立克 -你好 - Tom Selleck? - Aloha.
傅满楚 Ooh, Fu Manchu.
-约翰·沃特斯 -不错 - John Waters. - Not bad.
埃里克斯·催柏克 希特勒 Alex Trebek. Hitler.
希特勒还是不要了吧 Probably not Hitler. Skip him. Oh yeah.
-看 萨姆·艾利奥特 -你好啊 - Bam. Sam Elliot. - Howdy.
好吧 Sure.
我们得去接个电话 Okay, so we've got to hop on a call with biz dev...
你可以继续玩胡子 Okay. ...but feel free to keep on 'staching. Okay?
-给你 -走了 - There you go. - All right.
对了 如果你想 Hey, if you want to have
让你律师来看看雇佣合同 your attorney look over the employment agreement
和股票期权协议 都没有问题的 and the stock option grant, it's cool by us, all right?
签下合同 就是我们的一员了 Just sign it. You're in.
周一见咯 我们很激动呢 We'll see you Monday, man. We're pumped.
你们这么激动搞得我都激动了 Okay. Well, your pumpedness makes me pumped.
我想找皮特·莫纳汉 我是理查德·亨德里克斯 Pete Monahan, please. It's Richard Hendricks.
我需要他帮我看份合同 I just need him to go over a contract for me.
什么 What?
你是来见客户的律师吗 Are you an attorney here to see a client?
不 我是来见我的律师的 No, actually, I'm a client here to see my attorney.
好吧 跟我来 Okay. Follow me.
一开始只是无伤大雅地在庆祝仲裁胜利 It began as a innocent celebration of our arbitration victory.
我点了杯康普茶 却没想到里面有酒精 I ordered a kombucha, which I did not realize contained alcohol.
他们告诉我那是一种健康有机茶 It was described to me as a healthy, organic tea.
结果等我醒过来 我已经跑出70英里了 Next thing I knew, I was 70 miles away,
全身赤裸 只裹着一条毯子 wrapped naked in a blanket,
药劲还没过去 shaking off a meth high,
还因为拿铁锹袭击警用马而被指控 and facing charges for attacking a police horse with a shovel.
我操 Oh. Holy shit.
从法律角度上 我违反了假释条例 From a legal standpoint, it was a clear violation of my parole,
必须要服全刑 and I must now serve my entire sentence...
好吧 Okay.
再加上新的罪名 ...and any additional time stemming from the new charges,
都加在了我的刑期里 which continue to accrue.
但我会为自己的错误负责 But I'm owning my mistakes.
我要保持乐观 I am staying positive.
我的事就是这些 Enough about me.
给我看看你的合同 Let's take a look at that contract.
好 Okay.
我是想拿红笔标记一下 可是 I would red-line it, but...
我不能拿铅笔 I'm not allowed to have a pencil.
这程序越看越不对劲啊 This makes less sense the more I look at it.
这个数字是什么 Okay. What's this number over here?
我不知道 I don't know.
压缩库不是我负责的 I didn't handle the compression library.
也不是我啊 Neither did I.
你是说这些都是理查德自己做的 You're telling me Richard did this all on his own?
靠 我以为是你做的呢 Shit. I thought you did it.
现在我更看不起你了 Now I respect you even less.
我们每个人对这平台都有90%的理解 We each know 90 percent of the platform...
可是却是同样的90% but it's the same 90 percent.
或许那个自大狂是对的 Maybe that arrogant prick was right.
没有他 我们扩展不了 We can't scale it without him.
我们完蛋了 We are so fucked.
等等 Wait.
-怎么了 -我懂了 - Yeah? - I got it.
我们可以跟理查德一起退出 We quit out of solidarity with Richard.
真有意思 That's interesting.
尽管他对咱俩说了那些屁话 So even though he said all that horrible shit to us,
我们还是不计较 we take the high road
继续支持他 and we get his back.
或许他还会让新公司雇佣我们呢 Maybe he'll even hire us at his new company.
震颤光线 Flutterbeam.
-胡子 -没错 - Mustaches? - Yes.
不止是可以给人加胡子 Doesn't necessarily have to stop at people.
他们还可以给宠物也加上胡子 They can put mustaches on their pets, too.
真的挺好玩的 It's actually pretty fun.
所以 不久之后你就能给猫猫狗狗 还有蛇 So, soon you'll be putting mustaches on cats and dogs and...
-加胡子了 -蛇啊 好吧好吧 - snakes. - Snakes, yeah, yeah.
不过蛇比较麻烦 因为它们没有人中 I mean, it's a little tricky because they don't have a philtrum,
所以要给胡子找个定位点会比较... so finding an anchor point for that mustache is actually...
会是一个技术性挑战 gonna be quite of a technological challenge.
-真挺有意思的 真的 -理查德 - It's exciting stuff. It really is. - Richard.
理查德 Richard.
我问你件事 Let me ask you something.
你为什么离开魔笛手 Why are you leaving Pied Piper?
他们把我踢出来了 They pushed me out.
他们不是给了你另一个职位吗 I thought they offered you another position.
对 首席技术官 他们给我降职了 Yeah, CTO. It's a demotion.
但你在震颤光线不也是首席技术官吗 Well, wouldn't you be CTO at Flutterbeam?
是 但至少那样 我不用看他们的脸色 Yes, but at least this way, I don't have to eat shit.
理查德 我跟你分享我在这里的一点心得 Richard, let me tell you something I learned here on the inside.
收起你的自尊 Swallow your pride,
不然就远不止是看脸色了 or soon you'll be eating something far worse than shit.
相信我 Believe me.
难道你不该至少见一见这个巴克吗 Don't you think you should at least meet this Barker fellow?
进行得怎么样了 So where are we?
已经辞掉了一千七百多人 Seventeen hundred people slated for exiting.
他们的无效期权总计达到了78万股 Their negated options total 780,000 shares.
您可以随意调拨这笔钱 That money can be allocated anyway you see fit.
员工福利 日托中心翻修 Employee bonuses, renovations to the day-care center.
什么都行 先从哪一项开始 What have you. What should we prioritize?
'互利'高层真的要给尼尔森·达头蒂一个"大头衔"吗
抱歉 我不明白 Sorry, I don't understand.
协议里都写了 It's all in the document.
你接受这个解雇补偿协议 You take that severance package,
然后立即从'互利'离职 and you leave Hooli immediately.
不过最重要的条款 But the most important aspect
就是保密和禁止恶言条款 is the non-disclosure, non-disparagement clause,
你同意不得在媒体上 公共或私人场合发表 in which you agree not to say anything negative in the press,
有关'互利'或盖文·贝尔森的 in public, or in private
任何负面言论 about Hooli or Gavin Belson.
好 我不说 Okay, I won't.
你也不能在全宇宙任何地方发表任何涉及你 You will not discuss anything you did at Hooli
在'互利'的工作内容的言论 at all, in perpetuity,
永远不能 throughout the universe.
我在'互利'本来也没做什么 所以 I didn't really do anything at Hooli, so...
那就好 看来你已经明白啦 Good. You're getting the hang of it already.
不过我能留着我的'互利'员工卡吗 So, can I keep my Hooli ID, though,
我想照常来上班 去屋顶跟我的朋友玩 so I can still come and hang out with my friends on the roof?
不可以 You cannot.
其实 你在'互利'的朋友们都走了 Officially, you will no longer have any friends here.
该死 Shoot.
那我就得考虑考虑了 I have to think about this then.
这份协议条款已经很慷慨了 This settlement offer is quite generous.
我知道我知道 二百万已经很多了 I know, I know. I mean, $2 million is a lot of money.
二百万 不对 Two? No. It's...
那是两千万 It's $20 million.
两千万 Twenty?
他们在雇你之前就赶走了我 So they fired me before they hired you,
因此也不能怨你 我只是 so it's not your fault. I just--
我只是觉得这样不行 I feel like this... can't really work.
-你明白吗 -我明白 理查德 - Do you understand? - I do, Richard.
就好像 It's like...
如果我在我自己亲手创办的公司里 can I really be expected to do my best work
始终觉得自己的价值被忽视低估 when I am constantly feeling undervalued
我还怎么能全身心工作呢 at the company that I started?
这样说你能明白吗 Does that make sense?
明白 理查德 太明白了 It does, Richard. Absolutely.
你的这些担忧和顾虑我都知道 都明白 I hear each and every one of your concerns loud and clear,
而且我也尊重你的立场 and I appreciate your position.
所以我们干脆都不干了 So, I guess we just won't do it.
来吧 我送你出去 Come on, I'll walk you out.
慢着 什么 Wait. What?
等等 你刚才说什么 杰克 Sorry. You what? Jack?
我没明白 Sorry, I don't understand.
你不打算接下这份工作吗 You're not gonna take the job?
你不在我就不接 Not if you're not.
没有你负责技术 Without you handling the tech,
这个公司不会有前途 I don't see how this company works.
我是说我也这么想 I mean, yeah, I agree.
理查德 在大家意见一致的情况下管理企业 Richard, it's hard enough running a business
已经非常难了 when everyone is on the same page.
而显然 你我意见不同 And clearly, we are not.
-这个 是 -没事没事 这很正常 - Well... yeah. - No, no, it's fine,
我很感谢你对我如此开诚布公 and I appreciate you being so honest with me.
现在说清楚总比日后要好吧 I mean, better we find out now, right?
总之我希望咱俩都能找到合适的工作 Anyway, I hope we each find a good fit somewhere.
多谢来访 Thanks for coming up.
你的头脑实在难得 理查德·亨德里克斯 You got a hell of a brain there, Richard Hendricks.
路上小心 You drive safe.