亚马逊出品
衣柜字幕组 诚意奉献
背景音乐：皇后乐队《You're My Best Friend》
克鲁利 堕天使
请您稍后再拨 Please hang up and try your call again.
这房产是你的吗？ Are you the owner of this establishment?
哪只眼睛看出我像卖书的了？ Do I look like I run a bookshop?
亚茨拉斐尔！ Aziraphale!
天堂恶名在上 亚茨拉斐尔你个大傻子 你死哪儿去了？ Aziraphale, where the Heaven are you, you idiot?
我找不到你啦！ I can't find you!
亚茨拉斐尔 以上帝—— Aziraphale, for God's--
以撒旦——啊！ For Satan's-- Ah!
以谁之名随他便吧 你去哪了啊？！ For somebody's sake, where are you?!
你死了 You've gone.
谁他妈害死了我最好的朋友！ Somebody killed my best friend!
都他妈混蛋！ Bastards!
一个个的！ All of you!
女巫艾格尼絲∙風子的 精良準確預言書
这个世界乱套了 但我们还能修正所有错误 It's a bad world, but we can fix it.
你们三个还是不是我朋友也不要紧了 And it doesn't matter that you three aren't my friends anymore.
我已经有了比你们更好的朋友 I've got better friends than you'll ever be.
亚当·扬 敌基督
这些新朋友们马上就到 My new friends will be together soon.
温斯利戴
佩帕
布赖恩
狗狗 恶魔地狱犬及恐猫者
他们来了以后 我们可以让世界变得更美好 They're coming here, and then we make everything better.
翻译 季叽馥疾己
翻译 堕天使雪诺
翻译 美少年兔团子
校对 北落师门
时间轴&后期 依依Eva
压制 宽油竹鼠
监制 北落师门
策划 北落师门 & 临冬城的狮子
——————————
———
原著小说作者 特里·普拉切特 & 尼尔·盖曼
原著小说译者 马骁
好兆头
衣柜字幕组
第一季第五集
末日选项 The Doomsday Option
欢迎到喜马拉雅/网易云音乐/蜻蜓FM/企鹅FM 关注我们的《右舷电台》
克鲁利失去了亚茨拉斐尔 Crowley had lost Aziraphale,
A∙Z∙菲尔与合伙人
而世界在几个小时之后就要终结 and the world was ending in a few hours.
他已被地狱记上了一笔坏账 He was in Hell's bad books.
说得好像地狱还记别的帐一样 Not that Hell has any other kind.
背景音乐：皇后乐队《Somebody to Love》
我是不是不该乱丢垃圾？ I shouldn't litter, should I?
扔我可能还是得扔的 I mean, I probably should litter.
毕竟我是个恶魔 I'm a demon, after all.
只是没人给我算绩效了 But nobody's really keeping score anymore.
沙德威尔 猎巫人中士
特蕾西夫人 放浪女人兼灵媒
沙德维尔先生？ Mr Shadwell?
唉 到底出什么事了？ Oh, what on earth happened?
如果俺说 俺这只手 What would you say if I told you
刚刚驱除了一个恶魔 净化了人间 that this hand had just exorcised a demon
侬会怎么想？ clean off the surface of the earth?
我想 某人得进屋来 I'd say somebody needs to come inside
好好喝杯茶了 and have a nice cup of tea.
可是小牛顿 他还孤身一人 But young Newt, he's still out there.
被异教狂热和诡秘阴谋折磨着 In thrall to heathen ways and lubricious occult wiles.
介要碰上啥野女人呢 There could be women there.
行啦行啦…… Oh, well...
你不要在这里休息 now you can't be in here,
一会儿奥默罗德太太他们几位客人会过来 because Mrs Ormorod and such will be arriving any minute.
你要不到里屋来 躺下歇歇 Why don't you come in here and have a nice lie down.
照片中是法国名模及演员碧姬∙芭铎，有“性感小猫”的美称。
毕竟你这会儿也帮不了小牛顿 You're no use to young Newt in this state.
中 Aye.
那俺就稍微躺会 I'll have a bit of a lie down.
俺的成就也算前无古人咯 Nobody's ever done what I've done.
霍普金斯么达成 西夫廷斯也是 Not Hopkins, not Siftings,
霍普金斯和达里波曾在第二集中提及，沙德威尔中士收藏有达里波的雷电枪。
连达里波都么有 not Dalrymple.
俺成终极武器了 I'm the ultimate weapon.
俺就是恶魔的末日 I'm the doomsday option.
介是个啥地方哟？ What kind of a place is this?
你！你迟到了 You! You're late.
到 嗯…… Yes. Um...
其实吧 我 Actually, I...
我——我没想过来的…… I-- I didn't mean to be here...
暂时不想 um, yet.
我在地球上……还有事没解决呢 Still sorting things out... on Earth.
亚茨拉斐尔 没叫错吧？ Aziraphale, isn't it?
权天使 东门守护天使 Principality, Angel of the Eastern Gate.
你这一整排就等你了 Your whole platoon is waiting for you.
亚茨拉菲尔 权天使 兼职书商
亚茨拉斐尔 Aziraphale.
亚茨拉斐尔……这名字总觉得在哪见过呢？ Aziraphale... Why is that name so familiar?
等下 Hang on.
亚茨拉斐尔 Aziraphale.
天堂给你派发过—— You were issued with--
一把炎剑 知道啦 又不能赖我 A flaming sword, I know. It's not my fault.
她当时的情况特别危急 She was having a very bad day.
给你派发过一副肉身 肉身呢？ You were issued with a body. Where is it?
我怕是完全没做好准备 I'm afraid I hadn't actually prepared
就踏进传送门了 你懂吧 to step into the transportation portal, you see.
所以肉身就……损坏了 And the body... discorporated.
损坏了？ Discorporated?
都用了六千年了嘛 It was 6,000 years old.
我一个一个派发出去的 I count them all out,
我就要一个一个都收回来 and I count them all in again.
结果你突然冒出来 And then you turn up,
末日大战迟到 late for Armageddon,
炎剑没有了 no flaming sword,
肉身也坏了 都是天使怎么会有你这样的废物！ not even a body, you pathetic excuse for an angel!
嗯 我也这么觉得 确实 Well, I suppose I am, really.
我是说 I mean...
我并不想参加任何一场战争 I have no intention of fighting in any war.
你个懦夫！ Don't be a coward!
你赶紧给我入列 You get into position right now,
我就不上报 and I won't say anything more
你肉身损坏的情况了 about the body you discorporated.
炎剑的赔偿费用就从你的圣薪里扣 We can take the sword out of your celestial wages.
我有非常棘手的事情要处理 I was in the middle of something important.
我请求回到地球上 I demand to be returned.
没了肉身还想回去？ Without a body?
可别逗我了 That's ridiculous.
- 真的？ - 还用问 -It is? -Obviously.
你还想怎么着？你又不能附身 What are you going to do? You can't possess them.
恶魔可以 Demons can.
你可不是恶魔 你是个天使 You're not a demon. You're an angel.
你要干——？ What are you--?
你过去干嘛？ Where are you going?
我要怎么定位啊？ How does one navigate?
- 诶嘿 - 把手拿开！ - Oh, well. - Get away from that thing!
我就试试…… I'll figure it out...
走你 as I go.
都看什么看呐！ What are you lot looking at?!
不知道要打仗了吗？！ Don't you know there's a war on?!
我的朋友们已经在路上了 My friends are on their way,
之后这个世界就只属于我们了 and then there'll be a world just for us.
摆脱所有愚蠢的累赘 让世界重新来过 We'll get rid of everything stupid and start all over again.
岂不是很棒？ Won't that be awesome?
说话啊 Say something.
都给我说话 You have to say something.
我命令你们都开口说话！ I'm telling you to say something!
别闹了 少跟我哭 明明很好玩 Stop it. Stop crying. This is fun.
我们应该很开心的才对 这是我有生以来最痛快的一天 We're having fun. This is the best day of all.
我命令你们笑！我可以让你笑出来！ You have to smile! I can make it happen!
笑啊！都笑啊！ Smile! Smile!
刚刚真是…… That was...
我是说…… I mean...
刚才…… that was...
牛顿·帕西法 工薪族兼职猎巫人二等兵
我跟你说 我其实从没…… You know I've never actually...
这是我人生头一回 That was my first time.
安娜丝玛·仪祁 实用神秘学家兼职业后人
真是没想到呢 I'd never have known.
反正 眼瞧着世界要完蛋了 Well, seeing as the world's ending,
要不再来一发？ can we do it again?
没这工夫了 We don't have time.
而且艾格尼丝说咱们只做了一次 And Agnes only said we did it once.
不可能 She never.
她她妈的——她怎么会预言这种事 She bloody-- She can't have predicted that.
“上吧 小子 祝你好運 "You go, boy. May fortune be with you.
安娜絲瑪 我的後人 Anathema, my descendant,
我確信他一定外表英俊 I trust he will be fine of feature
附帶巨……” and mighty of..."
- 老天呃 - 快穿衣服啦 -Oh, my dear Lord. -Get dressed.
所以 我们去找到亚当 然后…… So, we find this Adam, and then we...
- 叫他住手？ - 嗯…… -stop him? -Mmm...
后面我就不知道了 I'm not sure anymore.
艾格尼丝没交代过 Agnes doesn't tell us to.
就算有一张卡片写了她的指示 我也不知道是哪张 Because if there's a card with instructions, I don't know which one it is.
“艾格尼丝没交代过”是什么意思？ What do you mean, "Agnes doesn't tell us to"?
你就没给自己做过什么打算么？ Don't you ever just do things for yourself?
看看事态会怎么发展？ See how they turn out?
没有 至少大事都没有过 No, not important things.
而且再过一个小时左右 And we have maybe an hour or so to go
局面就无人可控了 until there's nothing anybody can do.
我才不要为别的事浪费一分一秒 赶紧走吧 I'm not going to waste a second of it, so come on.
你不能总任由一个400年前的老巫婆对你指手画脚吧 You can't let a 400-year-old witch tell you what to do.
我这辈子都力图研究出 I've spent my whole life trying to figure out
艾格尼丝到底要我做什么 what Agnes wanted me to do.
她从没说错过 And she's never failed me.
反倒是我有时候会辜负她 Sometimes I fail her.
再来一瓶 Same again.
我也不想当恶魔的 I never asked to be a demon.
我就是有一天正干着活呢 I was just minding my own business one day
突然……定睛一看 and then... oh, lookie here,
这不路西法和他手下么 it's Lucifer and the guys.
是嘿 天堂的菜肴是没以前好吃了 Oh, hey, the food hadn't been that good lately.
我寻思反正那天下午也闲得没事干 I didn't have anything on for the rest of that afternoon.
然后 我就来了个落差一百万光年的 Next thing, I'm doing a million-light-year
自由跳水 落进了一池滚烫的硫磺里 freestyle dive into a pool of boiling sulphur.
亚茨拉斐尔？ Aziraphale?
- 是你吗？ - 好问题 -Are you here? -Good question.
我说不准 没干过这种事 Not certain. Never done this before.
- 听得到我说话么？ - 我当然听得见 -Can you hear me? -Of course I can hear you.
恐怕好些事都被我演砸了 Afraid I've rather made a mess of things.
你没去半人马座阿尔法星么？ Did you go to Alpha Centauri?
没 不想去了 Nah, I changed my mind.
出了点状况 Stuff happened.
我最好的挚友走了 I lost my best friend.
真是可惜 I'm so sorry to hear it.
听我说 你去我书店里 Listen, back in my bookshop
帮我找一本书出来 there's a book I need you to get.
哦 不过 你书店已经没了 Oh, look, your bookshop isn't there anymore.
- 嗯？ - 我很抱歉 已经烧没了 -Oh? -I'm really sorry. It burned down.
全烧没了？ All of it?
是啊 哪——哪本书？ Yeah. What-- what was the book?
骑车那姑娘落在后座的那本 The one the young lady with the bicycle left behind.
- 什么什么精良准确预—— - 艾格尼丝∙风子！ -The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of-- -Agnes Nutter!
- 嘿 我带出来了！ - 在你手里？ -Yes, I took it! -You have it?
- 快看 好个纪念！ - 你快翻翻 我做笔记了 -Look, souvenir! -Look inside. I made notes.
全都有记录 男孩的名字 地址 It's all in there. The boy's name, address.
其他所有信息 我都研究出来了 Everything else. I worked it all out.
哎 你在哪儿啊 我找你去 你到底在哪？ Look, wherever you are, I'll come to you. Where are you?
我——我——我其实哪里都不在 I-I-I'm not really anywhere yet.
- 我的肉身坏掉了 - 喔 -I've been discorporated. -Oh.
你得去塔德菲尔德空军基地 You need to get to Tadfield Air Base.
为啥？ Why?
世界末日 大战会在那里展开 World ending. That's where it's all going to happen.
没多久了 我也会去的 Quite soon now. I'll head there too.
只需找一具可用的肉身 I just need to find a receptive body.
- 比预想的难多了 - 我才不去呢 -Harder than you'd think. -I'm not going to go there.
我真的得有副躯壳 I do need a body.
不能附在你身上可惜了 Pity I can't inhabit yours.
- 呕 - 天使 恶魔…… -Ooh. -Angel, demon...
- 可能会撑爆的 - 哕…… -probably explode. -Blehh...
那就塔德菲尔德见了 So I'll meet you at Tadfield.
但咱俩都得行动些了 But we're both gonna have to get a bit of a wiggle-on.
- 什么？ - 塔德菲尔德 空军基地 -What? -Tadfield, Air Base.
这我听见了 什么叫“行动些” I heard that. It was the "wiggle-on".
寻求智言者快请进 Enter all seekers after wisdom.
望尔等已做好准备揭开帷幕 Only if you are prepared to part the veil
聆听逝去之人的智慧言语 and receive wisdom from those who have gone before.
我们来此聆听您的智言 特蕾西夫人 We are here to receive your wisdom, Madame Tracy.
噢！ Oh!
真是进行降神仪式的绝佳天气 Very good weather for a séance.
您有什么特殊要求么 对天气 Did you have them do it special, the weather,
- 对您的灵力有影响么？ - 没有啦 亲 -with your psychicness? -No, dear.
他们都在等我们呢 They're waiting for us.
我的罗恩 还有灵体 都等急了 Our Ron and the spirits, they're waiting.
而我们也非常期待 And we are looking forward
聆听他们所要传达的声音 to hearing what they are going to say to us,
但还请先祭上你们的诚意 after we've made our donations.
亚茨拉斐尔急需寻找一位宿主附身 Aziraphale had to find a host to inhabit.
而四骑士也对他们最后的骑行急不可待 And the Four Horsemen needed to come together for their final ride.
战争 天启四骑士之红骑士
拜访英国的目的？ Purpose of your visit to the U.K.?
饥荒 天启四骑士之黑骑士
我要向着世界末日的起点骑行 I ride to where the end of the world begins.
有意思 Sounds like fun.
快乐肥猪餐馆 （改动几个字母就变成了“哈利·波特餐馆”）
四杯茶 谢谢 一杯要红茶 Four cups of tea, please. One of them black.
再要个奶酪三明治 And a cheese sandwich.
请坐吧 我一会给您端过去 You take a seat and I'll bring it over for you.
你们有四个人 是吗？ Four of you, are there?
是的 There will be.
我在等几个朋友 I'm waiting for friends.
那你最好在屋里等咯 You're better off waiting in here.
外面成了地狱了 It's hell out there.
没 还没成呢 No. Not yet.
战争 War.
太久不见啦 It's been a long time.
饥荒 Famine.
说来有趣 咱们几个就这样重聚了 Feels funny, all of us getting together like this.
有趣么？ Funny?
嗯 Hmm.
几千年来 我们都在等待 We've spent all these thousands of years
伟大时刻 现在终于等到了 waiting for the big day, and finally it comes.
待会还得在暴雨里骑行呢 We'll have a thunderstorm to ride in.
知道我们还要骑行多远么？ Any idea how far we've got to ride?
污染 天启四骑士之白骑士
- 一百英里 - 我还以为还要更远一点呢 -A hundred miles. -I would have thought it'd be farther, somehow.
过程不是目的 到达才是关键 It's not the travelling, it's the arriving that matters.
有他的消息吗？ Any sign of him yet?
左侧屏幕中我们可以看出，积分榜第一名是“T·普拉切特” （代表特里·普拉切特，原著小说作者之一），第二名往后全都是名叫“死·亡”的人。
游戏结束
您什么时候到的？ When did you get here?
我从未离开过 I never went away.
死亡 天启四骑士之灰骑士
您的茶要凉了 阁下 Your tea is getting cold, Lord.
好久不见了 It's been a long time.
而今吾等将骑行 But now we ride.
没错 而今吾等将骑行 Yes. Now we ride.
她进入状态了 She's going under.
没必要惊讶 Nothing to be alarmed about.
她只是在给自己往彼方搭一座桥梁 She's just making herself a bridge to the other side.
她的灵魂向导很快就来 Her spirit guide will be along soon.
你在吗 我的灵魂向导 Are you there, my spirit guide?
啊 天辣…… Ah, begorrah...
系我啊 'tis me.
小女孩柯琳·欧丽芮 Little Colleen O'Leary.
柯琳于1746年死于都柏林 当时才九岁 Colleen died in Dublin in 1746 when she was nine years old.
但她的灵力超强的 But she was very psychic.
柯琳 你好啊 姑娘 Colleen. Hello, dear.
我的罗恩你见到了吗？ Is my Ron with you?
我有太多话要告诉他了 I've got so much to tell him.
嗯 柯琳想问一下 Ah, Colleen wants to know
在座的是否有一位史考基先生？ if there's anyone named Mr Scroggie here?
是的 在下就是 Actually, that's my name.
好的 柯琳想知道 Yes. Well, Colleen wants to know
你是否认识一位名叫…… if you've ever known anyone named...
- 约翰的人 - 没有 -John. -No.
- 要不就是吉姆 - 没有 -Or it could be Jim. -No.
- 汤姆呢？ - 没 -Tom? -No.
- 史蒂夫？ - 没 -Steve? -No.
- 戴夫？ - 我在赫默尔·亨普斯特德镇的时候认识一个叫戴夫的 -Dave? -I knew a Dave from Hemel Hempstead.
对嘛！他就是这么告诉我的 Yes! So, you see, that's what he's saying.
他提到了赫默尔·亨普斯特德镇 他想告诉你 He's saying Hemel Hempstead. He wants you to know
他在帷幕之后过得很好 that he's doing very well beyond the veil.
我前几天还碰见他在遛狗 看着还挺健康的 I saw him walking his dog the other day and he looked perfectly healthy.
人有时走得很突然的 比如我母亲 People go very suddenly. Like my mum.
请你老娘好好排她的队 朱莉娅·佩特利 Your mum can bloody well wait her turn, Julia Petley.
我可是七年的老顾客了 明明该我优先的 I've been coming here for seven years. I do have seniority.
快点 你跟我罗恩说—— Now, you tell my Ron--
噢！ Ooh!
- 是我们的罗恩吗？- 不 这回来真的了 -Is it our Ron? -No, it's something real.
你会讲德语吗？ Sprechen sie Deutsch?
-是你吗 罗恩？ -罗恩？ -Is that you, Ron? -Ron?
不是罗恩 绝对不是 Not Ron. Definitely not.
好吧 我想和罗恩·奥默罗德说话 Well, I want to speak to Ron Ormorod.
他个子不高 秃顶 He's rather short, balding on top.
你能让他过来吗？谢谢 Can you put me through, please?
啊 好吧 这儿是有个灵魂 Ah, well, there does appear to be a spirit
符合你的描述 matching that description
他正努力引起我们的注意 trying to attract our attention.
好吧 Very well.
我可以让你们说两句 但是你们得赶快 I will hand you over, but you must be very quick.
我正在努力转变世界末日 I am attempting to avert the Apocalypse.
行 Right.
你好 布伦达 Hello, Brenda.
罗恩？ Ron?
怎么…… What...
你听上去就像…… You sound like...
是你 you.
就是我 布伦达 I am me, Brenda.
这里很冫——冷 It's c-cold here.
行吧 总之上周末我去了克丽丝特尔的婚礼 Right, so I went to our Krystal's wedding last weekend.
就是我家特蕾西的大女儿 That's our Tracy's eldest.
然后他们开始上韩国菜了 And they start serving Korean food.
就说嘛 我和其他女人一样开得起玩笑 Well, I can take a joke as well as the next woman.
-布伦达！ -我正要说到重点呢 -Brenda! -I'm getting to the good bit.
然后 我就拿起泡菜 我说 So, I hold up the kimchi and I say,
“那好 你觉得我要怎么处理这玩意？” "What you expect me to do with this, then?"
于是吧 Whereupon, without even
完全不知羞耻啊…… the grace to look ashamed...
-布伦达！ -怎么了 罗恩？ -Brenda! -Yes, Ron?
自-自-自从结婚以来 Y-Y-You never g-gave me a chance
你始终都没让我说完半句话 to get a word in edgeways when we were married.
现在我死了 And now I'm dead.
哦！我只想和你说一句话 Oh! There's only one thing I want to tell you.
你以前从没这样和我说话 You've never spoken to me like this before.
罗恩 当心 你有心脏病 Ron, remember your heart condition.
我已经没有心脏了！ I don't have a heart anymore!
-布伦达？ -怎么了 罗恩？ -And Brenda? -Yes, Ron?
闭嘴！ Shut up!
是不是很感人？ Wasn't that touching?
行了 好吧 呃 很高兴遇到你们 Right, well, uh, lovely to meet you all.
出去 Out.
戏演完了 Show's over.
还得拯救世界 没时间浪费了 World to save. Can't lollygag.
好吧 这次真值啊 真有趣 Well, that's very good value. Very entertaining.
很高兴你喜欢 Glad you enjoyed it.
距世界末日还有1小时43分钟
克鲁利这会儿正堵在路上 Crowley is currently stuck in a traffic jam
他想离开伦敦去找亚当 as he tries to get out of London to find Adam.
据官方统计 And it's official.
这是英国史上最严重的一次交通阻塞 This is the biggest traffic jam in England's history.
为什么？ Why?
亲爱的 你改动了M25公路 What you did to the M25
堪称恶魔之作啊 was a stroke of demonic genius, darling.
哦 不 不 不 不 不 Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
这次交通阻塞 The traffic jam is being caused by problems on the M25,
是环绕伦敦的M25公路造成的 the freeway that circles London.
克鲁利与M25公路的设计有莫大的关系 Crowley had a lot to do with the design of the M25
时间回溯到1970年代 back in the 1970s.
于是 在贿赂之下 So, thanks to three computer hacks,
背景音乐：皇后乐队《Another One Bites the Dust》
靠着三次黑进电脑 selected bribery,
再加上我连夜移动了几个路标 and me moving some markers across a field one night,
M25伦敦环路 the M25 London orbital motorway,
本来应该是这个样子 which was supposed to look like this,
哈斯塔 堕天使 地狱公爵
别西卜 堕天使 地狱亲王 苍蝇之王
利古尔 堕天使 地狱公爵
然后 在1986年开通之时 will, when it opens in 1986,
实际上是这个样子的 actually look like this,
代表了古代姆大陆黑暗祭祀密语中 and represent the dread sigil Odegra
姆大陆是一个传说中存在于太平洋的大陆， 南起塔希提岛、北接夏威夷、东至复活节岛、 西至马里亚纳群岛，东西长约8000公里， 南北宽约5000公里，面积相当于南北美洲面积的总和。 现在的波利尼西亚群岛、美拉尼西亚群岛、 密克罗尼西亚群岛岛上的居民， 据说就是姆大陆移民的后裔。 随着现代大陆板块理论的成熟， 姆大陆的传说彻底破灭。
可怕的魔符印记Odegra in the language of the dark Priesthood of Ancient Mu.
“Odegra”意思是 “万岁 地狱巨兽 世界吞噬者” "Odegra" means, "Hail the great beast, devourer of worlds."
能给我来个欢呼吗？ Can I hear a "wahoo"?
一旦建成 Once it's built, the millions of motorists
将会有数以百万的司机绕它奔腾 who grumble their way around it
就像是水流过转经筒 are going to be like water on a prayer wheel,
研磨出无限的轻量级邪雾 grinding out an endless fog of low-grade evil
把整个伦敦环绕在内 that will encircle the whole of London.
怎么了 哈斯塔公爵？ Yes, Duke Hastur?
电脑是什么？ What's a computer?
总之 你究竟希望我们做什么？ So, what exactly do you propose we do about this?
在目前的情况下 Given the circumstances,
我们两个都得尽量变通 we're both going to have to be extremely flexible.
别碰她 你这…… Get your hands off her, you...
-他在哪儿？ -谁？ -Where is he? -Who?
有个南方娘娘腔 Some southern pansy.
我听到他在说话 提出下流的要求 I heard him, making lewd suggestions.
不是“一个”南方娘娘腔 中士 Not just "a" southern pansy, Sergeant.
是“那个”南方娘娘腔 "The" southern pansy.
魔鬼！ Demon!
你知道这是什么吗？ You know what this is?
四根指头 一根大拇指 Four fingers, one thumb.
行了 在我把你送上天堂之前 Now, you get out of this good woman's head
滚出这好女士的脑袋 before I blast you to kingdom come.
沙德维尔先生 这就是问题 That's the trouble, Mr Shadwell.
天堂 Kingdom come.
就要来了 It's going to.
亚兹拉菲尔先生正要解释 Mr Aziraphale has just been explaining it.
你过来好好喝杯茶 You come and have a nice cup of tea,
听他说 and listen to him.
在亚当得到他的能力之时 As Adam came into his power,
这世界欢迎他的方式 连克鲁利都料不到 the world welcomed him in ways not even Crowley had expected.
我憋不住了 I can't hold it in.
这 要是车流开始动了怎么办？ Well, what if the traffic starts moving again?
这可是M25公路 It's the M25.
你总不能就这样跑出去在路中间撒尿啊 You can't just get out and have a widdle in the middle of the road.
我能 我这就去 I can, and I will.
万岁 地狱巨兽 Hail the Great Beast.
你说什么 霍拉斯？ What'd you say, Horace?
万岁 地狱巨兽 Hail the Great Beast,
世界吞噬者 devourer of worlds.
万岁 地狱巨兽 世界吞噬者 Hail the Great Beast, devourer of worlds.
万岁 地狱巨兽 Hail the Great Beast,
世界吞噬者 devourer of worlds.
万岁地狱巨兽 Hail the Great Beast
世界吞噬者…… devourer of worlds...
突如其来地 M25公路 The M25 had become, unexpectedly,
竟成为一道环绕伦敦的火焰魔环 a burning magical ring of fire that surrounded London.
没人能进出 Nobody was getting in or out.
M25公路由克鲁利一手促成 如今又把他困在其中 Crowley had made it, now Crowley was trapped inside it.
行吧 M25公路现在是一道无法穿越的地狱火环 Right. The M25 is now an impassable burning ring of infernal fire,
还是我的错 and that's my fault.
赶紧啊 塔德菲尔德 塔德菲尔德 塔德菲尔德 Come on, Tadfield. Tadfield. Tadfield.
建议各位司机避开伦敦M25环路 Motorists are being advised to avoid the M25 London orbital motorway
因为 按交通部发言人的话说 because, in the words of a Transportation Department spokesman,
“公路起火了之类 ” "It's on fire or something."
这话到底是什么意思？ What does that even mean?
我知道敌基督在哪里 I know where the Antichrist is.
我知道敌基督在哪里 我知道敌基督在哪里 I know where the Antichrist is. I know where the Antichrist is.
-比格斯先生……？ -怎么了？ - Mr Biggs... - Yes?
我打电话来是关于一桩车祸 I'm calling about a car accident
和你有关但并不是你的错 that was not your fault that you were involved in.
我靠 Bugger.
根据原著小说，他们有个“让别人离开浴室”的计分表，这位姑娘每天的战绩都遥遥领先。
又碰到个洗澡的！
他开始骂人了！
-你好？ -布洛尔太太？ - Hello? - Mrs Blore?
什么事？ Wha' is it?
我打电话来是关于一桩车祸 I'm calling about a car accident
您最近遇到的那一桩 that you were recently involved in.
您可以申请索赔 You are eligible for compensation.
哦 老天啊 Oh, for Heaven's sake.
还记得几分钟前皇后乐队的《Another One Bites the Dust》吗？
又死人了！
名字：
编号：
安东尼·寇鲁利
喂？ Yes?
您好 寇鲁利先生 Hello, Mr Cowwley.
我打电话来是关于一桩意外车祸 We're calling about an accident you had.
这 呃 并不是意外 莉莎 而且我不是克鲁利 It, eh, wasn't an accident, Lisa. And this isn't Crowley.
呃 你——你怎么知道我的名字？ Um, h-how do you know my name?
我知道很多事 莉萨 I know lots of things, Lisa.
我应该感谢你放我自由 对吧？ I should be grateful to you for setting me free, shouldn't I?
我的意思是 我应该亲自道谢 I mean, I should thank you personally
顺便见见你的朋友 and meet your friends.
呃…… Uh...
我得挂了 I'm hanging up the phone now.
太迟了 Too late.
正需要来这么一顿 I needed that.
舒坦 Right.
所以真的有敌基督？ So there really is an Antichrist?
眼下 敌基督活着 The Antichrist is alive
就在地球上 中士 and on the Earth at this moment, Sergeant.
他将引发世界末日大战 He is bringing about Armageddon.
我相信你可以明白 I'm sure you can see
任何一位明治之人 that the imminent destruction of the world
都不会任由世界毁灭 is not something that any reasonable person would permit.
-的确 -对吧？ -No. -Am I correct?
-是啊 -敌基督嘛…… -Aye. -The Antichrist...
他必须死 沙德维尔中士 must be killed, Sergeant Shadwell.
而你……就是执行者 And you... are the man to do it.
这个嘛 俺可不确定 Well, I don't know about that.
呃 俺们是猎巫军 只杀女巫 Um, the Witchfinder Army, we just kill witches.
我相信你已经杀了不少女巫吧 I'm sure you've killed lots of those.
这个 早些年吧 Well, early days.
侬说的那个敌基督 他有多少个乳头？ This Antichrist of yours, how many nipples does he have?
哦……呃……好多个 Oh...uh... oodles of them.
一大堆乳头 Pots of nipples.
长满了乳头 哈-哈-哈！ Nipples everywhere. Ha-ha-ha!
那俺就跟你干了 Then I'm your man.
那么 中士 你有什么武器？ Now, Sergeant, what weapons do you have?
哦 有这个 Oh. Here.
行 还有更管用的吗？ Yes, anything more substantial?
呃 俺有大头钉…… Um, I've got pins...
还有猎巫人上校达里波的雷电枪 and the Thunder Gun of Witchfinder Colonel Dalrymple.
- 什么都能发射 比如银子弹 - 那是对付狼人的 -It'll fire anything. Silver bullets. -That's werewolves.
- 呃……大蒜？ - 对付吸血鬼的 -Ehh... Garlic? -Vampires.
嗯 板砖？ Hmm. Bricks?
那应该管用 哈！ That should do nicely. Ha!
拜托了 肯定有办法穿过去 Come on. There must be a way across it.
燃烧的路 艾格尼丝 你预言过吗？ Burning roads. You predict this, Agnes?
怎么没目录啊？ Why isn't there an index?
你永远都逃不出伦敦 You'll never escape London.
什么东西都不能 Nothing can.
哈斯塔啊 在语音留言里过得还好吗？ Hastur. How was your time in voicemail?
真好笑 哈-哈 想说笑话就多说几个 克鲁利 Funny, ha-ha. Joke all you like, Crowley.
你无路可逃了 There's nowhere to run.
你们现在不该列队备战吗？ Aren't you to be lining up, ready for battle around now?
地狱永不遗忘 Hell will not forget.
地狱永不宽恕 Hell will not forgive.
你知道敌基督在哪儿 对吧？ You know where the real Antichrist is, don't you?
你永远都找不到他 You'll never reach him.
你完了 克鲁利 You're done, Crowley.
你还以为自己能穿得过去？ Think you're going to get across that?
无路可走了 There's nowhere to go.
你等着瞧 Let's find out.
莫扎特
什么——什么——你为什么要开车？ What-- what-- why are you driving?
这是——什么——停下来 That's-- what-- Stop this thing.
你知道我最喜欢时间的哪一点吗 You know the thing I like best about time,
就是每一天 is that every day it takes us further away
它都在带我们远离14世纪 from the 14th century.
我真的不喜欢14世纪 I really didn't like the 14th century.
-不过 你倒是挺喜欢的 -是啊 -You'd have loved it, then. -Yeah.
14世纪 他们连车都没有 They didn't have any cars back in the 14th century.
可爱 聪明的人类发明了汽车 Lovely, clever human people inventing cars,
还有机动车道 还有雨刮器 and motorways, and windscreen wipers.
-你得承认他们厉害 -对 啊！ -You got to hand it to them. -Yeah. Aah!
停车 结束了 Stop it. It's over.
你完了！听到没 克鲁利？ You're doomed! You hear me, Crowley?
你完了 不管发生什么 完了！ You're doomed. Whatever happens. Doomed!
看吧？今天已经开始好转了 See? This day's already got better.
背景音乐：皇后乐队《I'm in Love with My Car》 任何CD（原著为磁带）放在克鲁利的车里超过两星期都会变成《皇后乐队精选集》。
停下！你会害我们俩都解体的！ Stop this! You'll discorporate us both!
-这不好笑！ -加油！ -This is not funny! -Come on!
不得不去 那就去得漂亮！ If you've got to go, then go with style!
我恨你！ I hate you!
你是我的车 You are my car.
从崭新开到现在 你可不能烧起来 I've had you from new. You are not going to burn.
连想都别想 Don't even think of it.
哈-哈！ Ha-ha!
克鲁利拥有其他魔鬼没有的东西 Crowley has something no other demons have,
那就是想象力 an imagination.
眼下 他想象着自己完好无损 Right now, he's imagining that he is just fine,
而那一吨着火的金属 橡胶和皮革 and that a ton of burning metal, rubber and leather
则是一辆能完好运作的车 is a fully functioning car.
他的旅程从自己的宾利开始 He had started the journey in his Bentley,
如果不能以这辆宾利结束 and he was damned if he wasn't going to finish it
他是绝对不能接受的 in the Bentley as well.
研究员正在赶来 The boffins are on their way.
这会儿 任何东西都无法离开伦敦 In the meantime, nothing is getting out of London.
你确定？ You sure about that?
这是……？ What was...?
现在 这事不归我们管 Right now, that's someone else's problem.
他刚还在挥手 He was waving.
听着 很抱歉我把你们都禁言了 Listen, I'm sorry I made you all shut up,
但我会让你们再次开口的 but I'm going to make it so you can talk again,
我们一起来玩个游戏 and we'll all play a game.
大家都来见见我的新朋友们 We're all going to meet my new friends.
你们会非常喜欢他们的 You'll like them so much.
到我这来！ Come to me!
来啊 我们仍然还是朋友 Come on. We can still be friends.
等所有人都死后 After all the people have gone,
你们可以统治剩下的世界 you can rule the world that's left.
温斯利 美洲给你 Wensley, you can have America.
佩帕 亚洲和俄罗斯给你 And Pepper, you get Asia and Russia.
布莱恩 欧洲和非洲归你 And Brian, you can have Europe and Africa.
还有狗狗 澳大利亚是你的 And Dog, you can have Australia.
那我们就统治了整个世界 So we'd rule the world.
可是你呢 亚当？ But what about you, Adam?
什么？ What?
哪一块归你？ What bit are you going to have?
我就在这儿 和以前一样 I'll be here, same as always.
就你自己一个人？ On your own?
我不想去别的地方 I don't want to go anywhere else.
这里还有我们的猪背林 And this is our Hogback Wood too.
我们也不想去美洲或者亚洲 We don't want to go to America or Asia.
你们要服从我的命令 You will do as I say.
否则呢？ Or what?
你能拿走我们的嘴 还可以把我们固定在这儿 You've already taken our mouths and frozen us here.
我们逃不了 We can't get away.
其实 他可以直接弄死我们 Actually, he could kill us.
是啊 你是可以那么干 Yes, you could do that.
现在你们可以随意走动了 You aren't frozen anymore.
你们想去哪就去哪 看到了吧？我不在乎你们去哪 You can go anywhere you want. See? I don't care where you go.
-再见 亚当 -再见 亚当 - Goodbye, Adam. - Goodbye, Adam.
-那好吧 再见 亚当 Actually, yes. Goodbye, Adam.
你们说“再见”是什么意思？ What do you mean "goodbye"?
不要再跟着我们了 Stop following us.
我没跟着你们 I'm not following you.
我们不是你的朋友了 我们不喜欢你 We aren't your friends anymore. We don't like you.
我不管 I don't care.
狗狗 回来 Dog, come back.
狗狗！ Dog!
让他们走吧 你拥有全世界 Let them go. You have the world.
你拥有力量 你拥有荣耀 You have the power. You have the glory.
让他们走吧 Let them go.
把我的狗还给我！ Give me back my dog!
它不是你的狗 它属于它自己 He's not your dog. He's his own dog.
我觉得它不再喜欢你了 I don't think he likes you anymore.
你真的很吓人 你也不是我们的朋友 You're really scary, and you aren't our friend.
你不是任何人的朋友 你要烧毁这一切 为什么？ You aren't anybody's friend. You're going to burn all this away. Why?
就因为一些成年人把事情搞砸了 Because some adults mucked things up.
这是你改正事情的理由 而不是毁灭它们 That's a reason to fix it, not destroy it.
回来吧 求你们了 Come back. Please?
看这里啊 小宝贝 你好呀 亚当 Come on, little one. Hello, Adam.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我刚刚不…… I wasn't...
我刚刚脑子不太清醒 I don't think I was thinking straight.
现在好了 I am now.
亚当 你做了什么？ Adam, what have you done?
我不知道 I don't know.
但无论我开始了什么 我们都得阻止它 But whatever I've started, we've got to stop it.
我们需要自行车 We need our bicycles.
五分钟后在这集合 Meet back here in five minutes.
我们要去哪？ Where are we going?
亚当 Adam.
亚当 骑上车以后 要去哪？ Adam, after we get our bikes, where are we going?
世界的尽头 离这里不远 The end of the world. It's not far.
- 我知道了 - 哦 是吗？ - I've got it. - Oh, yeah?
如果艾格尼丝告诉你该怎么做 If Agnes tells you what to do,
并且我们得把事情做好的话 and we need to do this right,
那你就挑一张卡片 随便挑一张 then you just need to pick a card, any card.
“儅天空變爲深紅色……” "When the skies are crimson seen..."
这点她可说对了 Well, she got that bit right.
“……你們必須在鐵鳥不再降落的地方 "...then ye both must stand between the world of life
擋在生命與戰爭之間” and the world of war, where the iron bird lands no more."
看到没？ See?
这可能是在说我们 It could be talking about us.
“鐵鳥不再降落的地方” "Where the iron bird lands no more."
铁鸟 那可能是飞机 Iron bird. That could be a plane.
- 嗯哼 - 它们不在哪降落？ - Mm-hmm. - Where don't they land?
小镇外有一个美国空军基地 There's an American Air Force base outside of town.
那里不再降落飞机了 They don't land planes there anymore.
我在村里的酒吧认识了几个在那工作的人 I met some of the guys who work there at the village pub.
但我们为什么要去那呢？ But why would we go there?
我是说 那里遗留的 I mean, all they have left in there
全都是通讯设备了 is communication technology.
电脑什么的 Computers and stuff.
没有能爆炸的东西 Nothing explosive at all.
哦 我的天哪 Oh, my God.
亲爱的女士 在我看来 Dear lady, it seems to me,
我们走着会更快点 we could make better time walking.
这玩意每小时能跑上10英里就是奇迹了 It'd be a miracle to get past 10 miles an hour.
奇迹 对啊 就是这样 Miracles. Yes. Right.
呃 沙德威尔中士 麻烦你 Uh, hold on extremely tightly, Sergeant Shadwell,
一定要抓紧了 if you'd be so kind.
哇哦！ Whoa!
别向下看 沙德威尔中士！ Don't look down, Sergeant Shadwell!
我们要出发啦！ And off we go then!
R·P·泰勒 塔德菲尔德居民委员会成员
恐怕我们迷路了 I'm afraid we're lost.
路标一定是被风吹倒了 The signposts must have blown down.
我们在找空军基地 We're looking for the air base.
第二个路口右转 Well, it's second on the right.
其实 也不完全是向右 Well, it's not exactly on the right.
要先左转 但你们会发现 You go to the left, but you'll find
路最终会绕回到右边的 that it winds its way around to the right eventually.
路标上写着“波瑞特巷” It's signposted "Porrit's Lane".
你们会进入一个村庄 路过公牛巷和提琴巷 You'll come into the village, you go up past the Bull and Fiddle
你们不会错过的 and you can't miss it.
我没怎么记住 Not sure I got that.
我记住了 出发吧 I did. Let us go.
“在鷹巢的後面 一棵大梣樹已經倒下” "Behind the eagle's nest a great ash hath fallen."
就这些？ That's it.
我跟你说 我们家族多数人曾以为这条预言 You know, most of my family thought it was something
俄国革命：是1917年于俄国发生的一系列革命运动的统称，包括著名的二月革命和十月革命。 这些运动最终导致俄罗斯帝国灭亡、苏联建立。
讲的是俄国革命 to do with the Russian Revolution.
我说 这些地方都有很严肃的人 You know, these places have some pretty serious people
拿着巨大的枪来守卫 with some extremely big guns guarding them.
哪怕我们没有在硬闯时被击中 And if we don't get shot trying to break in,
我们也会在一个没有窗户的小牢房里 then we're going to spend the last few minutes
度过世界末日前的最后几分钟—— before the world ends in a little cell without any windows in it--
好了 我觉得你有点过于兴奋了 Okay. I think you're getting yourself a little overexcited.
我没有 我是在很冷静地担心 I'm not. I'm getting myself quite calmly worried
我们会被枪击中 然后关进牢房里 about being shot, and then put in a cell,
“坐水凳”是一种古老的刑讯手段， 15世纪西班牙宗教裁判所 即使用此方法对异端分子进行审问。 被刑讯者被绑在一条特制的长凳上， 此种长凳脚部略高于头部。 在被刑讯者头部盖上布后，在头部间歇性浇水。 如此会让被刑讯者产生溺水的错觉而恐惧 （又不至于被溺死），以达到招供的目的。 二战期间入侵东南亚的日军和纳粹德国 均使用过“坐水凳”来审问犯人。 二战后亦有部分国家和地区使用这种刑讯手段。 “911”事件之后，美国中央情报局广泛使用 “坐水凳”进行刑讯的报导屡见报端， 引起广泛争议。2009年1月， 奥巴马政府禁止有关部门使用“坐水凳” 和其他一些非人道的审讯方法。
接着坐上水凳 最后被枪毙 and then waterboarded, and then shot again.
别担心 如果有人要朝你开枪 Don't worry, Agnes would have definitely told me
艾格尼丝肯定会告诉我的 if someone was going to shoot you.
严禁拍照 严禁录像
管制区域警告
警告
美国空军辖区 闲人免进 任何到访者均需出示证件
必要时使用致命武力
美国空军 航空基地
尼尔·盖曼著 美国众神
就是这里了 This is the place.
就这？有点不起眼 Is this all there is? I thought it'd be more impressive somehow.
这几千年的等待 All these thousands of years waiting,
就为了这一百英里的骑行 just for a ride of a hundred miles.
如果末日之战降临于世 它就会无处不在 If Armageddon is anywhere, then it is everywhere.
我们碾过这些围栏吧 Let's crash through the barriers.
不 我们进去 完成工作 然后出来 No. We go in, we do the job, we go out.
地形障碍无关紧要 The geography is immaterial.
军官 突击检查 Surprise inspection, officer.
我没收到任何突击检查的通知 长官 I was not informated on any surprise inspection, sir.
如果你听说了 那就不叫突击了 不是吗？ Well, if you had, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?
我可以…… Can I...
我可以检查一下证件吗 长官？ Can I see some kind of identification, sir?
很好 长官 Very good, sir.
别告诉他们我们要来了 军官 Don't tell them we're coming, officer.
我们想要出其不意 We want it to be a surprise.
“在鷹巢的後面 一棵大梣樹已經倒下” "Behind the eagle's nest, a great ash hath fallen."
这她可说对了 Well, she's on the money there.
管制区域警告
干得好 迪克·图平 Nice going, Dick Turpin.
你的车还真叫“迪克·图平” You really do call your car "Dick Turpin".
是啊 Yes.
我猜你一直期待 某一天有人会问你为什么 I bet you're hoping one day someone's going to ask you why.
或许吧 Maybe.
是哈 Right.
不可能这么容易吧 一定不可能 It can't be this easy. It really can't.
这儿肯定有卫兵和监控摄像头 There's going to be guards and security cameras.
我们要去哪？ Where are we going?
那里 There.
你怎么知道？ How do you know?
因为我生命中的一切 Because everything in my life,
艾格尼丝400年前写在书里的一切 everything Agnes wrote down on that book 400 years ago,
一切都指引我到这里 everything is all leading me here.
就在此时 和你一起 Now. With you.
我就是知道 I know.
- 我们到底要怎么阻止他们？ - 快走 - How are we going to stop them exactly? - Come on.
叫它军事基地挺蠢的 It's stupid calling it a military base.
我在开放日的时候去过 I went up there on their open day,
他们甚至都没有枪什么的 and they didn't even have guns and things.
只有很多无线电 碟形卫星天线之类的东西 Just lots of radios, satellite dishes and stuff.
是啊 全是旋钮和转盘 Yeah, it was all knobs and dials.
蠢爆了 Stupid.
你的新朋友去哪干什么？ What are your new friends going to do here?
我想他们要接入全世界的军用网络 Well, I suppose they could patch into the worldwide military net
然后向所有电脑发出指令 and issue orders to all computers
来激活所有的自动系统 然后开战 to activate all automated systems and start fighting.
实际上 那应该挺难做到的 Actually, that would be quite difficult.
对于他们来说 并不难 Not really. Not if you're them.
距世界末日还有31分钟
喂 你们！停车！ Oi, you! Stop!
我说了 停车！ I said stop!
亚当·扬 我就知道是你 Adam Young, I thought it was you.
还有你们几个 家长知道你们出门了吗？ And the rest of you. Do your parents know you're out?
出门又不犯法 Actually, it's not like there's a law against being out.
我是说 我们不会因为“出门”被送进监狱 I mean, you can't get sent to prison for "being out".
你们四个捣蛋鬼今晚要去哪？ Where are you four troublemakers going this evening?
还有 别冲我吐舌头 小女士 And don't stick your tongue out at me, young lady,
否则我得和你妈妈说几句 or I'll have words with your mother.
- 我们要去空军基地 - 如果你同意的话 - We're going to the air base. - If that's alright with you.
其实 要不是你同意了 我们还不想去呢 I mean, we wouldn't want to go there if it wasn't alright with you.
亚当·扬 别以为我不会跟你爸告状！ Adam Young, don't think I won't talk to your father!
谁给我把螺丝刀？ Can someone pass me the screwdriver?
你他妈是谁啊？ Who the hell are you?
我既不属于地狱 也不属于天堂 I am neither of Hell nor Heaven.
这地方到底有什么特殊的？ What's so special about this place anyway?
这是一个秘密的通讯枢纽 This is a classified communications hub.
一切信息都从这里经过 Everything comes through here.
看到了吧 他们造出这些 所以他们就不用上战场打仗了 See, they've made it so they don't even have to fight anymore.
- 机器会替他们完成一切 - 除了死亡 - Machines will do it for them. - Except the dying.
对于某些事情 When it comes to some things,
机器永远无法代替人类 machines will never replace people.
我有预感 I can feel it.
再过五分钟 Another five minutes,
全世界就将处于战争之中 and the whole world will be at war.
一旦战争开始 And once the war begins,
饥荒随之而来…… the famine comes...
然后是污染 then the pollution.
该干正事了 We're in business.
他们接管了所有的电 They are taking charge of the electricity, all of it.
在他们的统治下 它即将苏醒过来 And under their rule, it is coming to life.
他们熔断了继电器 关闭了开关 They're fusing relays. They're closing switches.
他们关掉了电灯 They're turning off the lights.
他们掌控一切 They are in control.
让我们开始吧 Let's get this show off the road.
美国 北达科他州
已激活
发射
发射开关A
- 弹头已全部激活 - 搞什么？ - All warheads armed. - What the heck?
你刚刚真的说了“搞什么”吗？ Did you really just say "what the heck"?
给我接通战略司令部的网络司令部 出事了 Get me STRATCOM Cyber Command. Something's happening.
StratCom即Strategic Command，美国战略司令部， 为美国国防部下属的十大联合作战司令部之一， 负责空间作战、信息作战、导弹防御、情报侦察监视、 全球打击、战略威慑、大规模杀伤性武器等领域。美 国军方另有网络司令部（Cyber Command）， 亦为十大联合作战司令部之一。
已经开始了 It has begun.
核密码已经输入 Nuclear codes delivered.
全部核武器 已激活
一切准备就绪 只待最终的倒计时 Everything is set in motion for the final countdown.
剑已出鞘 The sword is raised,
随时开战 ready to strike.
“火鸟”號核潛艇
北大西洋
“火鳥”号核潜艇
北大西洋
到底发生了什么？
从克里姆林宫发来的加密信息
我觉得我们开战了！
和谁？
你觉得还能是谁？
乌克兰？
接着说……
乌兹别克斯坦？
所有国家！
不仅仅会有核污染的毁灭 It's not just nuclear destruction.
还会有化学污染 It's chemical too.
我最喜欢的最信赖的伙伴都是化学污染 And my favourite standbys are all chemical.
无论你怎么说 Say what you like,
钚可能会带来上千年的不幸 plutonium may give you grief for thousands of years,
而砷的打击是永久性的 but arsenic is forever.
战争 污染 然后就是凛冬 The war, the pollution and then the winter.
我喜欢冬天 那么寒冷 I like the winter. So cold.
那么干净 那么饥饿 So clean. So hungry.
背景音乐：皇后乐队《We Will Rock You》
啊 不好意思 打扰一下 Ah, excuse me. Sorry to bother you.
我好像有点迷路了 I seem to have got slightly lost.
塔德菲尔德空军基地怎么走？ Tadfield Air Base?
有些事情总是很难说出口 There are some things it is very difficult to say.
R·P·泰勒真正想说的是： What R.P. Tyler truly wants to say is:
你的车着火了 Your car is on fire.
但是他不能 我是说 这个人一定知道啊 不是吗？ But he can't. I mean, the man must know, mustn't he?
或许这是一种恶作剧？ Perhaps it's some kind of practical joke?
所以他说…… So he says...
你可能拐错弯了 Might have taken the wrong turn.
路标被吹倒了 Signpost blown down.
很容易犯的错误 Easy mistake to make.
所以 前面第二个路口右转 So, second on the right.
而他想说的其实是…… When what he wants to say is...
年轻人 你的车着火了 你还坐在里面 Young man, your car is on fire, and you're still sitting in it,
说实话 这车已经不适合再开了 and frankly, it's in no fit condition to drive.
好的 知道了 很好 Right. Got it. Terrific.
- 年轻人？ - 怎么了？ - Young man? - Yes?
对于每年这个时候来说 这天气不同寻常啊 Very unusual weather for the time of year.
恐怕我没注意到 I'm afraid I hadn't noticed.
那可能是因为你的破车在着火！ That's probably because your stupid car is on fire!
距世界末日还有17分钟
侬瞅见这手指头了没 小子儿？ You see this finger, laddie?
这根手指头能把侬送回造物主那里去 This finger could send you to your maker.
情况真的十万火急 It really is vitally important
我们得和管事的人对话 that we speak to whoever is in charge.
他说的是实话 如果他撒谎我会知道的 He's telling the truth. I'd know if he wasn't.
你能不能不打断我说话？我在试图—— Will you please stop interrupting? I am trying--
我就想着替你说几句好话—— I just thought I'd put in a good word for--
是的 我明白 但你真的必须—— Yeah, I understand, but you must really--
能不能安静点？你们两个 Will you please be quiet? Both of you.
我是说 夫人 我必须请您—— I mean, ma'am, I must respectfully ask you to--
背景音乐：皇后乐队《Bohemian Rhapsody》
现在的车可没有这性能了 You wouldn't get that sort of performance from a modern car.
- 克鲁利？ - 嘿 亚茨拉菲尔！看来你搭上了顺风车 - Crowley? - Hey, Aziraphale! I see you found a ride.
- 裙子不错 很衬你 - 哈！ - Nice dress. Suits you. - Ahh!
这个年轻人不让我们进去 This young man won't let us in.
交给我吧 Leave it to me.
当兵的 Army human,
我的朋友和我都大老远来了 然后—— my friend and I have come a long way, and--
这是你们谁干的？ Which one of you did that?
好的 这些孩子麻烦可大了 Okay, those kids are in big trouble.
你们这些人也是 别动！ And so are you people. Don't move!
所有恶果即将找上门来 All the chickens are coming home to roost.
不留活口 No more chickens.
激活倒计时开始 Countdown to activation initiated.
我们的君王 我们的主人 Our lord, our master.
我们的朋友 他是我们在等待的人 Our friend. He's all we've been waiting for.
当他加入我们 When he joins us,
我们就变得完整了 we will be complete.
亚当不知道接下来会发生什么 Adam didn't know what was going to happen next,
但他知道他该做什么 but he did know what he had to do.
那么 这些人是什么样的？ So, what are these people like?
不知道 Don't know.
他们是成年人吗？ Are they grownups?
- 你们这些孩子在这做什么？ - 没事的 - What the hell are you kids doing here? - It's alright.
听着 孩子 这里是军方土地 Listen, kid, you're on military property.
我觉得你们都需要睡会 I think you all need to go to sleep now.
所有士兵 All you soldiers.
我在这！ I'm here!
他来了 He is here.
现在 一切就要终结 Everything ends now.
时间就要结束了 Time is over.
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