亚马逊出品
衣柜字幕组 诚意奉献
麻疹号游轮 船长日记 Captain's log, Pleasure Cruiser Morbillo.
哈瓦那，古巴首都，位于墨西哥湾东端，与美国佛罗里达半岛隔海相望。
当我们正往南-西南航向哈瓦那时 We were sailing south-southwest on course for Havana
发现了异常状况 when we realised something was amiss.
地平线那边是什么？ What's that on the horizon?
不可能啊 But that's impossible.
似乎在一夜之间 It appears a vast expanse of seabed
我们下方升起了一片广阔的海床 has risen beneath us in the night.
穿长袍戴潜水盔的怪人纷纷登船 Strange people in long robes and diving helmets
跟游客们愉快地混在一块 have come aboard the ship and are mingling happily with the passengers,
游客们则以为是我们安排的娱乐项目 who think that we have organised this for their amusement.
那名大祭司已经赢得了套圈奖杯 The High Priest has just won the Quoits contest.
使之发生 使之成真 Make it happen. Make it real.
亚特兰蒂斯被发现了吗？
古老水下城市的新照片曝光
使之发生 使之成真 Make it happen. Make it real.
亚当·扬 敌基督
使之发生 Make it happen.
使之成真 Make it real.
使之发生 Make it happen.
亚当 我还是不理解你和我们说的那些 Adam, I still don't understand the thing you were telling us
温斯利戴
佩帕
布赖恩
外星飞船什么的 about alien spaceships.
如果我是外星人 我才不会转来转去 If I was an alien, I wouldn't be going around giving messages
说什么祝全宇宙和平 of universal peace and goodwill.
我会说：“这是激光枪 I'd say, "This is a laser blaster.
狗狗 恶魔地狱犬及恐猫者
准备受死吧 逆贼” Prepare to die, rebel swine."
如果我是个坐飞碟的外星人 我也会这么说 I'd say that too, if I was an alien in a flying saucer.
要么就 “灭绝” Or, "Exterminate."
显然 外星人以前是那样的 Obviously, the aliens used to do that.
现在他们发送全球和平跟宇宙和谐的信息 Now they give messages of global peace and cosmic harmony,
但全都被政府隐瞒了 and the government hushes it all up.
-为什么？ -政府就是这样的 -Why? -It's what they do.
他们隐瞒外星人 核反应堆 They hush up aliens and nuclear reactors,
还有打秘道的西藏人 and the people from Tibet who have secret tunnels
这些西藏人会偷听我们说话 and are listening to everything we say.
亚当 我觉得这些事吧 Adam, I don't think this stuff is,
你看……不是真的 you know... real.
网上的事可能是骗人的 Things on the Internet can be made up.
这是本杂志 This is magazines.
当然是真的了 亚特兰蒂斯城就是个例子 Of course it's real. Just like the City of Atlantis.
老实说 我不觉得亚特兰蒂斯是真的 Actually, I don't think Atlantis is a thing.
它在海底下 如果有人住那里 It's under the sea. And people live there.
他们怎么呼吸？ How can they breathe?
我打赌他们戴潜水盔 I bet they wear diving helmets.
-对嘛 -你相信这话？ - That's right. - Do you believe that's true?
当然相信 我说的都是真的 Of course it's true. What I say is true.
来自海洋的消息还不仅如此 That's not the only news we're hearing from the ocean.
有些一手报道指出 大西洋上升起的这块土地 Some initial reports claim that the land that's risen
正是沉没的亚特兰蒂斯大陆 in the Atlantic is the sunken continent of Atlantis.
这张据称是亚特兰蒂斯人的照片 This photograph of so-called Atlanteans
拍摄者便是假日游轮上的旅客 has been posted by passengers on a holiday cruise ship.
这年头真是奇了怪了 Strange times indeed.
翻译 季叽馥疾己
翻译 堕天使雪诺
翻译 美少年兔团子
校对 北落师门
时间轴&后期 依依Eva
压制 宽油竹鼠
监制 北落师门
策划 北落师门 & 临冬城的狮子
——————————
———
原著小说作者 特里·普拉切特 & 尼尔·盖曼
原著小说译者 马骁
好兆头
衣柜字幕组
第一季第四集
星期六上午 休闲一刻 Saturday Morning Funtime
欢迎到喜马拉雅/网易云音乐/蜻蜓FM/企鹅FM 关注我们的《右舷电台》
星期六
世界末日
亚茨拉菲尔 权天使 兼职书商
咳 Hmm.
加百列 天使长
-是我啊 -我知道是你 亚茨拉菲尔 -It's me. -I know it's you, Aziraphale.
对 好吧你看 我们得传个话…… Yes. Right. Look, we need to get word upstairs to the...
告诉——告诉老大 to the-- to the Big Boss.
有——有些预言 There-- there's been prophecies.
人类的预言与我们何干？ What's in human prophecies that matters to us?
这 呃 海底的克拉肯苏醒起身了 Well, er, the Kraken wakes and rises from the sea floor.
克拉肯，北欧神话里的巨型海怪。形似章鱼。
亚特兰蒂斯也是 雨林也回来了 So does Atlantis. And the rain forests return.
这些还只是个开头 And that's just for starters.
世界末日大战来了 Armageddon is coming,
而且我很肯定 它要在今天爆发 and I'm fairly certain it starts today.
就在下午茶之后 Just after teatime.
说得对 准确无误 你到底想说什么？ Exactly. Right on schedule. What's your point?
听我说 能不能请你停一下 就一分钟？拜托 Look, will you please stop, just for a minute? Please.
-然后呢？ -我就是…… -Well? -I just...
我就是觉得 我们能做些什么 I just thought there was something we could do.
能 我们能战斗 我们能赢 There is. We can fight. And we can win.
可又不是非得要一场大战 But there doesn't have to be a war.
当然要 否则 我们怎么能赢？ Of course there does. Otherwise, how would we win it?
嗯？ Hmm?
听着 收拾好你在人间留下的摊子 Now look, wrap up whatever you need to wrap up down here.
做好报告 还有…… Report back to active service and...
……甩点肉 ...lose the gut.
加油 Come on.
你是个精悍的战斗机器 You're a lean, mean fighting machine.
说你是什么？ What are you?
我是…… I'm...
我是个软蛋 I'm soft.
差点忘了 Almost forgot.
根据我们的记录 According to our records,
你领到过一把火焰剑 you were issued a flaming sword.
没弄丢吧？ You didn't lose that?
什么 难道我…… What, like I...
难道我会把它随便送人还是怎么着？ I'd just give it away or something?
两件物品已经送到 Two items have been delivered.
两位骑士已经准备上路 Two Horsemen are preparing to ride.
还剩下两件物品需要送达 The last two deliveries still need to be made.
莱斯利 Lesley.
回床上来吧 Come back to bed.
不行 亲爱的 我得送快递 I can't, love. I got deliveries to make.
周六早上还要送？ On a Saturday morning?
还好 就在附近 送两件就好了 Well, at least it's local. Two jobs and I'm done.
莱斯利 Lesley.
这些快递要送去给谁啊？ Who are these deliveries for?
我不知道 亲爱的 I don't know, love.
大人物吧 Someone important.
总部说这订单6000年前就下好了 Head office said the job was booked about 6,000 years ago.
他们开玩笑的 They were joking.
嗯 这公司也就开了80年 Well, the company's only 80 years old.
但我看过文件 But I saw the paperwork.
总之…… Anyway...
我们的工作不是问为什么 ours is not to reason why.
我们的工作……是送快递 Ours... is to deliver packages.
我爱你…… I love you...
虎子 tiger.
我爱你 莫德 I love you, Maud.
米迦勒 天使长
也许有些越界 I may be out of line here,
但从上一次会议后 but I've been following up on Aziraphale's comments
我就一直在查阅亚茨拉菲尔的报告 during our last meeting.
我一直追查到了地球观察档案 I went back through the Earth observation files.
我肯定他能给出一清二白的解释 I'm sure there's a perfectly innocent explanation.
那当然 'Course.
那你会反对我用秘密渠道 Would you have any objection to me following this up
继续追查下去吗？ using back channels?
我们没有秘密渠道 米迦勒 There are no back channels, Michael.
是我 It's me.
是我们的人 亚茨拉菲尔 It's our man Aziraphale.
有没有可能他是在你手下办事？ Is there any possibility he's working for you?
没有吗？ No?
那 好吧 你也许有兴趣调查一下 Well, then, you might want to investigate the activities
恶魔克鲁利的活动 of the demon Crowley.
也许他心里打着自己的算盘 Might be playing his own game.
一点忠告 Word to the wise.
不 我……我的意思是 你不能相信他 No, I'm... I'm telling you, you can't trust him.
你当然能相信我 Of course you can trust me.
我可是天使 I'm an angel.
利古尔 堕天使 地狱公爵
克鲁利 克鲁利 克鲁利 Crowley. Crowley. Crowley.
你一直在玩什么把戏？ What have you been playing at?
我该去哪呢？ Where should I go?
英格兰不行 England's out.
克鲁利 堕天使
美国也不行 America's out.
亚特兰蒂斯？昨天都还不存在 Atlantis? Didn't exist yesterday.
今天出现还是不行 It exists today. Still out.
天文学全书
月亮 The moon.
没有大气层 没有夜生活 No atmosphere. No nightlife.
半人马座阿尔法星 Alpha Centauri.
这时节还是挺好的 That's always nice this time of year.
美丽的星云 看看 Beautiful nebula. Look at that.
我帮着建造的 I helped build that one.
我一向只是提出问题 I only ever asked questions.
以前只要提提问题就足够成为魔鬼了 That's all it took to be a demon in the old days.
伟大计划？ Great Plan?
上帝啊 你在听吗？ God, you listening?
让我看看伟大计划啊 Show me a Great Plan.
行吧 我知道你在考验他们 Okay, I know you're testing them,
你说过你要考验他们 you said you were going to be testing them.
但也不应该把他们考验到灭绝啊 You shouldn't test them to destruction.
不至于要世界末日啊 Not to the end of the world.
国际快运
就不该让它们上路 这些该死的卡车 Shouldn't be allowed. Bloody lorries.
从来不尊重其他路人 No respect for other road users.
从前 其实也没有那么久的从前 In the old days, and it wasn't that long ago, really,
这里每隔十几码就有一个垂钓的 there was an angler every dozen yards,
孩子们玩耍嬉闹 children played here,
爱侣们到这里手牵着手 courting couples came here to hold hands
苏塞克斯，意为“南撒克逊”，英格兰东南部的沿海地区，与法国的诺曼底隔海相望。 此处在古英格兰七国时代为苏塞克斯王国，英格兰统一后为苏塞克斯郡，现分为东西两郡。
在苏塞克斯的余辉下卿卿我我 and to get all lovey-dovey in the Sussex sunset.
他和莫德还没结婚的时候也来过 He did that with Maud before they were married.
他们通常用侧入体位 They came here to spoon
不过 最让人难忘的那次是后入的 and, on one memorable occasion, fork.
是乔基先生吗？有您的快递 Party by the name of Chalky, sir?
“Chalky”在英语里是“白垩”的意思。 在原著小说中，他还有别的名字， 在英国叫怀特，在法国叫布兰科， 在德国叫魏斯，这些名字都是 “白色”的意思。
看看这条河 Look at that river.
是啊 先生 污染了 Yes, sir. It's the pollution.
也可以说是 发展 Progress, you could call it.
真是……他妈的美 It's just so... damn beautiful.
世界真奇妙啊 是吧？别误会 It's a funny old world, though, isn't it? And no mistake.
我是说 你满世界送快递 I mean, you go all over the world delivering,
最后几乎转回到自己家后院来了 and then you wind up practically in your own backyard,
差不多这意思 so to speak.
我去过非洲 I've been to Africa,
去过得梅因 and Des Moines.
那是在美国 先生 That's in America, sir.
现在又回来了 And now here I am.
这是你的包裹 先生 And here's your parcel, sir.
你得签名 You have to sign for it.
拿去吧 There you go.
早晨天发红 羊倌要当心 Red sky in the morning, shepherd's warning.
还是水手要当心来着？ Or is it sailor's warning?
人人要当心 Everybody's warning.
四骑士的第三位 The third of the Four Horsemen
接替了退休的瘟疫 took over when Pestilence retired.
呃…… Erm...
他们曾到过各种有意思的地方 They've had lots of interesting jobs
完成各项有意思的工作 in lots of interesting places.
帮着设计汽油发动机 Helped design the petrol engine,
塑料和高科技除草剂 plastics and high-tech weed killers.
他们杀的人 跟饥荒和战争一样多 They've killed as many people as Famine or as War.
《圣经·新约》：我看见羔羊揭开 七印中第一印的时候， 就听见四活物中的一个活物， 声音如雷，说：“你来！” 我就观看，见有一匹白马！ 骑在马上的拿着弓， 并有冠冕赐给他。 他便出来，胜了又要胜。 （启示录6:1-2）
这便是污染 This is Pollution.
污染
莫德 我爱你
差点被撞到 That one nearly had me.
哦 Oh.
恐怕是已经撞到了 I'm afraid so.
先生 我有一条消息给你 I've got a message for you, sir.
不是包裹 It's not a package.
就是一条消息 It's a message.
那就给我吧 Deliver it, then.
就这一句： It's just this.
“来看” "Come and see."
终于啊！ Finally!
先生 这是什么意思啊？ What does it mean, sir?
是行动的呼召 It's a call to action.
战争和饥荒 War and Famine.
污染与死亡 Pollution and Death.
吾等今日启程 Today, we ride.
行了 别当成是死去 Now, don't think of it as dying.
当成是提早上路以免拥堵吧 Think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.
死亡
你还有其他的《新水瓶座》吗？ Have you got any more of the New Aquarians?
我们得弄清楚一切 'Cause we need to know everything.
安娜丝玛·仪祁 实用神秘学家兼职业后人
我给的那些 你已经读完了？ You read the ones I gave you already?
好吧 行 等一会 Yeah, sure. Hold on.
你们想不想吃点糖果？ Do you kids want some candy?
是巧克力哦 It's chocolate.
-我们不要—— -女巫的糖 -We don't take sweets from-- -Witches.
我吃 I do.
我们再次连线詹姆斯·诺基 And he's back on the line to James Knockey.
那么 转点核电站的事 So, could what happened
可不可能是 at Turning Point Nuclear Power Station
恐怖分子所为呢？ be terrorist activity?
可能！ Could be!
我们只需要找到那些恐怖分子就行了 All we need to do is find some terrorists capable of removing
给这位核电站工作人员配音的是英格兰演员保罗·凯伊， 他在《权力的游戏》中扮演光之王的祭司——密尔的索罗斯。
他们能在无人察觉的情况下 an entire nuclear reactor
转移整个核反应堆 又能让它继续保持运作 while it's still running without anyone noticing.
迪克·图平
可要是没有任何核反应堆 How can it still be producing electricity
它又是怎么发电的呢？ if it hasn't got any reactors?
我们不知道 We don't know that.
我们还希望你们BBC的聪明人 We were hoping you clever buggers at the BBC
牛顿·帕西法 工薪族兼职猎巫人二等兵
能有什么想法呢 would have an idea.
立正！ Attention!
沙德威尔 猎巫人中士
这是我们的国家 This is our country.
此地受到我们的保护 It's under our protection.
俺很想与你同行 Wish I was going with you.
不过俺已经老了 I'm too old now.
不能再藏身草丛里 No more lying in the bracken,
追踪他们的恶行了 spying on their evil ways.
现在就都指望侬了 猎巫人二等兵帕西法 It's all up to you now, Witchfinder Private Pulsifer.
找到介个亚当·扬 盯紧他 Find this Adam Young and keep an eye on him.
如果我们是要和全国的巫师做对抗 Shouldn't there be a few more of us
咱们难道不该有更多人马？ if we're protecting the entire country from witches?
可莫得人说过咱这行是啥易事 二等兵帕西法 Nobody said it would be easy, Private Pulsifer.
给 快穿上 Here. Put this on.
探查钟摆 Pendulum of Discovery.
拇指夹 Thumbscrews.
- 哦 我——我觉得用不—— - 拇指夹！ -Oh, I-- I don't think I'll-- -Thumbscrew!
拇指夹 Thumbscrew.
引火物 Firelighters.
我实在没打算去烧死谁 I'm not actually prepared to burn anyone.
- 引火物！ - 引火物 -Firelighters! -Firelighters.
- 铃铛 - 铃铛 -Bell. -Bell.
- 书 - 书 -Book. -Book.
还有蜡烛 And candle.
铃铛 书 蜡烛 Bell. Book. Candle.
都是干嘛用的？ What are they for?
侬没准要驱个魔啊 You might have to exorcise a demon.
那该怎么执行？ How do I do that?
摇响铃铛 Ring the bell.
点燃蜡烛 Light the candle.
朗读书本？ Read the book?
侬被恶魔攻击的时候 There'll be no time for light reading
可莫得时间让侬念书啊 小子儿 when you're under demonic attack, laddie.
最后一样…… And finally...
别针 pin.
猎巫军
别针？ Pin?
对头 这可是你光明军备中的刺刀 Aye. It's the bayonet in your army of light.
好吧 Right.
那我就 向塔德菲尔德进发了 Well, off to Tadfield, then.
上路吧 猎巫人二等兵帕西法 Off you go, Witchfinder Private Pulsifer.
愿光辉的大军与侬一道儿 And may the armies of glory march beside you.
世界正在发生改变 The world was changing.
那些亚当信以为真的事情 What Adam believed was true
都一件件地成了真 was beginning to happen in reality.
我在拉萨开店 修收音机 生意还不错
我就歇会 喝口酥油茶……
……就跑到这来了 穿成这副样子
可说呢
我刚还在日喀则火车站卖票来着……
哎呀！茶歇过了
早上好 先生 女士 或者中性人 Morning, sir, madam or neuter.
这是您的星球 对么？ This your planet, is it?
嗯 我想是吧 Yes, I suppose so.
- 拥有很长时间了么？ - 不是个人拥有 - Had it long, have we? - Not personally.
它属于一个种族 已经有五十多万年了 我觉得 As a species, about half a million years, I think.
酸雨问题一直没处理吧 是不是啊 先生？ Been letting the old acid rain build up, haven't we, sir?
碳氢化合物可能也一直在随意排放？ Been letting ourselves go with the old hydrocarbons, perhaps?
什么？ Sorry?
好吧 我很遗憾地通知您 先生 Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you, sir,
你们的极地冰盖已远小于 but your polar ice caps are significantly below
此类星球的标准面积 先生 regulation size for a planet of this category, sir.
我们这次就先不管了 We'll overlook it on this occasion.
是这样的 先生 我们接到指示要向您传达一则口信 The fact is, sir, we've been asked to bring you a message.
嗯？我？ Oh? Me?
口信开始：“我们向您传达一条关于宇宙和平 Message runs, "We bring you a message of universal peace,
和宇宙和谐之类的口信” cosmic harmony, and suchlike."
口信结束 Message ends.
哦 那很好呀 Oh, that's very kind.
您知道为什么会有人要我们向您传达这样一则口信么 先生？ Have you any idea why we've been asked to bring you this message, sir?
我估计是因为人类已经能驾驭原子能和 呃—— I suppose what with man's harnessing of the atom and, er--
我们也没搞懂呢 先生 Neither have we, sir.
我们也没搞懂 Neither have we.
侬咋啦？ You what?
我被几个外星人拦了下来 I just got pulled over by aliens.
侬数过他们乳头没啊？ Did you count their nipples?
- 好像没—— - 侬是个猎巫人 -I didn't think-- -You're a witchfinder,
不是猎外星人人 not an alien finder.
不过俺会做个记录的 But I'll make a note of it.
不知道你那几本《新水瓶座》有没有提过这一点 I don't know if this is in your New Aquarian magazines,
但我觉得我们应该拯救一下鲸鱼 but I was thinking we ought to save the whales.
鲸鱼其实是会唱歌的 Whales can sing, actually.
而且脑容量极大 And they have very big brains.
但是已经极其濒危了 And there's hardly any of them left.
既然它们那么聪明 If they're so clever,
还天天生活在海里干什么？ what are they doing in the sea all day?
就游游泳 吃吃吃 Just swimming and eating things
还唱唱歌—— 老天爷 说得我都想当鲸鱼了 and singing and-- Oh, my God, I want to be a whale.
好吧 Right.
那我们就拯救拯救鲸鱼 We'll save the whales, then.
所有鲸鱼 All of them.
这并不是一艘捕鲸船 This is not a whaling ship.
这是科考船 This is a scientific research ship.
面对国际社会的质疑，日本曾多次辩称捕鲸是“出于科研目的”而非商业行为。
近日他们的科考项目是 Currently what it is researching is the question,
一周内能捕获多少鲸鱼？ How many whales can it catch in a week?
船员们在雷达上没有看到一条鲸鱼或者金枪鱼 They see no whales on the radar, no tuna,
一点大过鳀鱼的生物都没有 nothing bigger than an anchovy.
而此时此刻 海底却似乎在下沉 And now, the sea bottom appears to be dropping.
怎么可能！
船长说过了……
……这是仪器故障
喂！……海平面又在上升了
上升了30米！
在上层深渊的雷霆中 Beneath the thunders of the upper deep,
远在深海之下 far, far beneath in the abyssal sea,
沉睡着海怪克拉肯 the Kraken sleepeth.
现在它正徐徐醒转 And now it's waking up.
第五艘于今日摧毁的日本捕鲸船
巨型海洋生物真实影像
北太平洋
科学家们纷纷对会有这般巨型的海洋生物 Scientists have pronounced themselves baffled
出现表示非常困扰 by the appearance of the enormous sea creature,
网友们开始用“克拉肯”称呼这种生物 which the Internet has begun to refer to as "the Kraken",
- 这是传说中的海怪的名字 - 啥玩意？ -after the sea beast of legend. -What?
迪尔德丽·扬
据日本政府发言人称 It appears to be targeting whaling ships,
亚瑟·扬
巨兽似乎专门攻击捕鲸船 according to a spokesman for the Japanese government.
而千百万份寿司晚餐高呼着复仇 And a million sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.
我在琢磨……克鲁利的问题 I've been thinking... about Crowley.
- 绝对有猫腻 - 唉 你瞅瞅 -Something's not right. -Oh, look at this.
哈斯塔 堕天使 地狱公爵
我本来该打点打点出发去米吉多和那个男孩会面的 I meant to be getting ready to go to Megiddo to meet the boy.
我早该出发了 I should be leaving now.
结果 我杵在这儿守着个桶 Instead, I'm standing here with a bucket,
干等着维修部过来修又一条破水管 waiting for maintenance to come fix another bloody pipe.
噢对了 克鲁利 这个老滑头又干嘛了？ So, Crowley. What's Mr Slick done now?
不好说 I'm not sure.
但我知道绝对没什么好事 But I know it's nothing good.
哦 那不很正常么 他就不该干什么好事 Oh. Well, that's alright, then. He's not meant to do good.
修辞而已 Figure of speech.
那就没干坏事呗 Nothing bad, then.
不干坏事？ Nothing bad?
所以 So...
他没摊上什么事么？ he's not in trouble?
他绝对摊上事了 He's definitely in trouble.
- 要不就早晚得摊上 - 要上报么？ -Or he will be. -We going in?
现在不行 得有证据 Not yet. We need proof.
一旦有了证据 可就有他喝一壶了 But once we've got it, he's toast.
听着肯定不好受啊 And that's gonna hurt.
什么 喝一壶？ What, being toasted?
哈 可不 Oh, yeah.
利古尔和哈斯塔对话中的三处“toast”分别表示“完蛋”、“烧烤”和“敬酒”。
来 喝一壶 Right. Toast.
回归末日之战的正轨 Back to Armageddon, then.
你瞅瞅！ Look at that!
预言提醒！
猎巫人将于12：05到达
“當青鳥戰車翻轉 "When robins blue chariot inverted be,
三輪朝天 three wheels in the sky,
一男子將帶瘀傷來到你床 a man with bruises be upon your bed,
頭疼欲裂需柳木粉” aching his head for willow fine."
他受伤了 快点 咱们得帮帮他 He's hurt. Come on, we should do something.
得让他离车远一点 可能会爆炸的 We should get him away from the car. It might blow up.
电视上都这么演 They do that on telly.
迪克·图平炸不了的 Dick Turpin won't blow up.
你们想不想知道我为什么给车起名迪克·图平 You're probably wondering why it's called Dick Turpin.
这个吧…… Well...
米吉多平原
天启四骑士将自平原驭驾而来 The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will ride over the plain to us,
预言中的末日之战爆发地
然后我们的黑暗…… and then our forces...
我觉得说“黑暗势力大军”有点太长了 I thought "the Forces of Darkness" was a bit long,
所以就叫“黑军一号”吧 so I'm calling us "Darkforce One."
当我们的对手从天上降下的时候 We rise up, pushing through the earth,
我们也穿过地壳爬上地面 while our opposition descend from above.
末日战场哈米吉多顿 This is Armageddon.
世界要在这里终结 This is where the world will end.
是的 希腊语里是这么叫 Well, that's the Greek name for it.
严格说来 这里叫做米吉多平原 Technically, the fields of Megiddo.
你看 考古遗址在这边 Yeah. Archaeological excavations over there,
牛油果园在那边 avocado fields that way.
这的人还种牛油果？ They grow avocados here?
是啊 我们有个段子 Yes. We have a joke.
这么说的： We say...
“此地将爆发一场牛油果大战” "It's going to be one big avocado."
“Armageddon”与“avocado”押头韵且音节数相等。
我呢……我不喜欢听笑话 I, er... I don't like jokes.
我也不讲笑话 I don't do jokes.
每一个在我面前讲笑话的人 And when people do jokes in my presence,
都会很快地吞下自己的舌头 they rapidly find themselves swallowing their tongues.
不对 我瞎说的 No, I tell a lie.
主要是我把舌头给你塞进去 It's mostly me that swallows their tongues.
那么 男孩和地狱犬什么时候到？ So, what time do the boy and the Hell Hound get here?
大约20分钟 About 20 minutes.
大使会在圣殿遗址为他此行拍照留念 The ambassador's here for a photo op with the ruins of the temple.
等他们到了 And when they arrive,
我们主人的儿子就会现出原形 our master's son will come into his own.
拍照留念？ A photo op?
啥——啥——啥叫拍照留念 What's-- what's-- what's a photo op?
又——又是什么笑话么？ Is it-- Is it another joke?
不 无耻的公爵大人 您…… No, Your Disgrace. It's...
呃 您听说过自拍么？ Well, you know what a selfie is?
我觉得自拍应该是恶魔克鲁利发明的 I believe the demon Crowley invented them.
一切就绪之后 男孩和狗 When all is ready, the boy and the dog
还有四骑士将汇聚此地 and the Four Horsemen will converge here.
然后男孩给出命令 And the boy will give the word.
末日大战开打 And Armageddon will begin.
一场……一场牛油果大战 One... one big avocado.
安娜丝玛 我们碰到一个人！ Anathema, we found a man!
- 他出车祸了 - 早就知道了 进来吧 -He was in a car accident. -I know. Come in.
把他抬上楼吧 Let's get him upstairs.
距世界末日还有5小时48分钟
就好像你在等他一样 It's almost like you were expecting him.
是在等 I was.
我倒是希望他不会来 I was hoping he wouldn't come.
如果这个男人不出现 可能预言就不是真的 If he didn't turn up, maybe none of it was real.
不过 既然他来了……那么兽的存在便是真的 But if he's here... then the Beast is real.
- 你说狗狗么 - 不是 没什么啦 - You mean Dog. - No. It's nothing.
反正也不是你们几个孩子需要担心的问题 Nothing you kids need to worry about, anyway.
嘿 你们几个想吃三明治么？ Hey, do you guys want some sandwiches?
家里还有营养丰富的午餐等着我呢 I have a very nutritious lunch waiting at home.
妈妈希望我每次回家都还是有胃口的 My mother likes me to come home with an appetite.
使之发生 使之成真 Make it happen. Make it real.
使之发生 Make it happen.
拜拜 安娜丝玛 Bye, Anathema.
- 一起走么 亚当？ - 我让你们走了么？ -You coming, Adam? -I didn't say you could go.
午饭后见吧 See you after lunch.
- 亚当变了 - 得了吧 - Adam's different. - Don't be wet.
明明就是因为他这样我们才喜欢他啊 Actually, that's why we like him.
他这人不会无聊 He's not boring.
不是 我指什么你们没懂吗 Oh, you know what I mean.
- 你们肯定懂 - 他是亚当嘛 - You must do. - He's Adam.
最好玩的游戏和最有趣的点子都是他想出来的 He comes up with all the best games and all the best ideas.
这没错 可我察觉出一些变化 Yeah, but something's changed.
他和以前不太一样了 He's not the same anymore.
我说句傻话 Can I say something stupid
你别觉得傻 without you thinking it's stupid?
他不让我们出门的时候我真的吓到了 I was scared he wouldn't let us go just then.
这就是说傻话 That's stupid.
其实 我也察觉到了 Actually, I felt that too.
撒迪厄斯·道林 美国驻英外交官
沃洛克·道林 外交官的儿子
哈丽特·道林 外交官夫人
亲爱的 我还是没懂我们为什么来这种地方 Honey, I'm still not clear on what we're doing here.
外交生活就是这样的 This is life as a diplomat.
前一秒你还在伦敦 One moment you're in London,
后一秒就到了以色列古迹 the next we're familially interfacing
全家一起度个假 with Israeli archaeological sites
来个历史真相大发现 on a historical fact-finding vacation.
但此行的安排完全没道理 But it doesn't make any sense.
宝儿 别跟国务院较劲啊 You don't argue with the State Department, hon.
就因为我说咱们第一夫人婊里婊气么？ Is this because I said the President's wife looked like a floozy?
梅拉尼娅·特朗普多次被指责作风轻浮，有失第一夫人身份。
这话我可没说过 Because I never said that.
这位就是咱的地陪 And this is our local guide
带各位参观米吉多的考古遗址 to the archaeological site of Megiddo.
怎么称呼…… Mister...
我叫哈斯塔 I'm Hastur...
拉·维斯塔 La Vista.
“Hasta la vista”在西班牙语里是“再见”的意思 （实际上，第一个字母“H”不发音）。 《终结者2：审判日》中有一句经典台词：“Hasta la vista, baby.”
我是考古学家 I'm an archaeologist.
你们二位当中谁是大使？ Which one of you is the ambassador?
撒迪厄斯·道林 幸会幸会 Thaddeus Dowling, at your service.
- 这是我太太 哈丽特 - 荣幸至极 -My wife, Harriet. -An honour.
唷 Oh.
你肯定就是沃洛克了 You must be Warlock.
你一身屎味 You smell like poo.
这孩子真逗 Funny boy.
我可喜欢听人讲笑话了 Always love a good joke, me.
我听说了你好多事呢 I've heard a lot about you.
- 狗呢？ - 拉·维斯塔教授 - Where's the dog? - -So, Professor La Vista,
行前简报上我了解到米吉多丘 I understood from our briefing that Tel Megiddo
米吉多丘是米吉多古城遗址所在地。 所谓的“丘”（Tel，Tell）是一个考古学概念， 人类在同一个地点生活多年后留下的人造土丘。 其形成是因为人类会在城市原址之上重建城市， 如此多次，城市的基础高度会越来越高，形成土丘。
是提革拉-毗列色王行政中心的一部分 was part of Tiglath-Pileser's administrative centre.
亚述是中东地区历史延续最完整的国家， 形成于公元前2500年， 灭亡于公元前612年至前609年间， 一度成为两河流域最强大的帝国。 亚述历史上有多位提革拉-毗列色国王， 其中提革拉-毗列色一世 （约前1115年～前1077年在位） 被认为是亚述中期最伟大的君主之一。 提革拉-毗列色三世（前745年-前727年在位） 的名字则在《圣经》中多次被提及。
亚述列王的历史故事实在令我拍案—— The Assyrian kings fascinate me--
你丫可闭嘴吧！ Will you shut up!
狗呢？ Where's the dog?
这孩子为什么没有狗？ Why doesn't the boy have a dog?
嗯？ Hmm?
你能听到低语么？ Do you hear voices?
他们都说了些什么？ What are they saying?
都在你耳边低语些什么？ What are they telling you?
- 低语…… - 是啊 -The voices... -Yes.
……我脑海中只有一个声音…… ...in my head all say...
说什么？！ What?!
……你一身屎味 ...you smell like poo.
克鲁利！ Crowley!
<-这是原著作者及编剧尼尔·盖曼本人
星期六
休闲一刻
上午
天堂恶名在上 到底怎么回事 克鲁利？ What the heaven is going on, Crowley?
你都搞了些什么鬼？ What have you done?
哈斯塔啊 我没听懂 你什么意思？ Hastur. Hey. Not following you. How do you mean?
男孩……那个叫沃洛克的男孩 The boy... The boy called Warlock.
我带他去了米吉多平原 We took him to the fields of Megiddo.
但他没有狗 The dog is not with him.
他也对大战一无所知 The child knows nothing of the Great War.
他不是魔君之子 He is not our master's son.
我说我…… He said that I...
我一身屎味 that I smelled of poo.
- 呵 他说得挺对的 - 你死期已到 克鲁利 -Well, you can see his point. -You're dead meat, Crowley.
你他妈的要成为历史了 You're bloody history.
你给我等着 我们这就去给你收尸 You stay where you are. We're coming to collect you.
今批准 牛顿· 帕西法 为英国猎巫人军队 二等兵 侬已被获准……
你是猎巫人二等兵牛顿·帕西法 You are Witchfinder Private Newton Pulsifer.
显然是有治安官掺合进来给了你 Apparently, all magistrates are enjoined to give you
足量的干燥引火物 as much dry kindling as you need
让你烧死所发现的 to burn any witches,
任何一名女巫 巫婆或者老妖精 hags or beldam you discover.
呃……我其实不是真正的猎巫人 Er... I'm not actually a real witchfinder.
也没什么所谓女巫 There aren't really any witches.
我本来是个……电脑工程师 I'm actually a... computer engineer.
我就是需要找点事做 不想家里蹲 I just needed something to get me out of the house.
嗯 Hmm.
我是安娜丝玛·仪祁 I'm Anathema Device.
我就是女巫 I really am a witch.
你得看一眼这个 跟你有关 You should read that. It's about you.
看了能节省点时间 It will save time.
我…… I...
“當青鳥戰車翻轉 "When robins blue chariot inverted be,
三輪朝天 three wheels in the sky,
一男子將帶瘀傷來到你床 a man with bruises be upon your bed,
頭疼欲裂需柳木粉” aching his head for willow fine."
说你呢 出车祸 还有阿司匹林 That's you, the car crash and the aspirin.
阿司匹林也称乙酰水杨酸，源自柳树皮中发现的化学物质。 早在2400年前，柳树皮就用来治病，古希腊医学家希波克拉底就用它来治头痛。 1763年，在牛津大学的沃德姆学院，爱德华·斯通首次从柳树皮中发现了其有效成分水杨酸。
你听说过艾格尼丝·风子么 Have you ever heard of Agnes Nutter?
应该没有 I'm afraid not.
三百多年前的一名女巫 A witch from 300 years ago.
我是她的后人 I'm her descendant.
艾格尼丝·风子 女预言家
你的一位祖先在柴堆上烧死了她 One of your ancestors burned her at the stake.
- 姦淫·帕西法 - 或者说试图烧死她 -Adultery Pulsifer. -Or tried to.
不可奸淫·帕西法 猎巫人
祖先？ Ancestors?
不可奸淫·帕西法 Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery Pulsifer.
嗯 Hmm.
你的家族显然是很有要烧死我们家的劲头 Your family obviously has a tendency to burn mine,
所以我就…… so I...
把你的火柴拿走了 I took your matches.
我没打算烧死任何人 I'm not going to burn anyone.
我知道 你要是想烧的话 艾格尼丝会告诉我的 I know. Agnes would have told us if you were.
她写下了所有这些预言 整理成册 于1655年出版 She wrote all these prophecies in a book published in 1655.
她居然预言到我会撞车？ Did she know I was going to crash my car?
是的 Yes.
也不算 No.
还是算吧 Yes.
我们家对艾格尼丝精良准确的预言 My family has been trying to figure out
的分析工作已经进行了快400年 Agnes's Nice and Accurate Prophecies for 400 years now.
你完全可以说我是个职业后人 You could say we're professional descendants.
一共有多少则预言啊？ How many prophecies are there?
几千条 Thousands.
平均来说 一个月一则 It averages to about a prophecy a month.
不过 其实随着世界末日临近 近些年越来越频繁了 Oh, more now, in fact, as we get closer to the end of the world.
那么世界末日何时发生呢？ When is that supposed to be?
呃……大概还有4小时15分钟 Er... in around four hours and 15 minutes.
胡说八道 世界怎么可能就在今天终结啊 Oh, come on. The world isn't really going to end today.
根据艾格尼丝的预言 世界末日将始于今天下午 The end of the world starts here in Tadfield,
就在这里 塔德菲尔德 this afternoon, according to Agnes.
- 就是有样东西我一直找不到 - 什么东西？ -I just can't find it. -"It"?
敌基督 恶兽 The Antichrist. The Great Beast.
我找了很久很久了 就是怎么也找不到 I've been searching for it, but it's impossible to find.
“在豬背之末 幼獸將奪取世界 "Where the Hogge's Back ends, the young beast will take the world,
亞當之語將終於火焰與黑暗” and Adam's line will end in fire and darkness."
猪背 Hogge's back.
亚当·扬 Adam Young.
他家的地址是猪背巷4号 And his address is number four, Hogback Lane,
亚当·扬 猪背巷4号 塔德菲尔德
在塔德菲尔德 Tadfield.
- 你说什么？ - 是亚当·扬 -What did you say? -Adam Young.
他住在猪背巷4号 He lives at 4 Hogback Lane.
我的任务就是来探查他情况的 I was told to keep an eye on him.
你怎么……？ How did you...?
啊 我都没——卧槽 Oh, I didn't-- Shit.
是亚当 太……太吓人了 Adam, that's... that's crazy.
那孩子可好了 就是他和他小伙伴 He's such a sweet kid. Him and his friends
把你带过来的 were the ones that brought you in here,
我觉得 他算村子里最招人喜欢的小孩了 I mean, he's the sweetest kid in the village.
我觉得 他怎么看都不可能是终结世界的恶兽啊 I mean, he can't be the Great Beast at the end of the world.
走吧 Come on.
我们不想跟你走 We don't want to go with you.
真的……我真的不想走 Actually...I really don't.
你这样很讨厌啊 I don't like this.
回家没意义的 There's no point in going home.
家还要紧么 地球都要完蛋了 It doesn't matter. That's all done now.
可我们根本不想跟你走 But we don't actually want to go with you.
你们想 You do.
你知道你们为什么要跟随我么 温斯利 You know why you're all coming with me, Wensley?
因为你们已经无路可走了 Because there's nowhere else to go.
有什么意义？ What's the point?
等我们长大之后世界上还能剩下点什么？ What's going to be left when we grow up?
眼睛所见都是不断恶化的自然环境 Everywhere you look, there's all this environment going on.
动物被猎杀 自然资源被消耗殆尽 Everything's being killed or used up,
却没什么人在乎 and no one takes it seriously.
所有人都想当然地以为世界自有办法恢复如常 Everyone thinks that somehow it'll all just get better again.
这叫什么道理啊？ Where's the sense in that?
亚当 你这么想是错的 我才不要跟你走 Adam, this is all wrong. I'm not going with you.
- 但你会的 - 这样一点都不好玩 -But you are. -It isn't actually funny.
温斯利说得对 Wensley's right.
这游戏好蠢 而且你现在阴阳怪气的 It's a stupid game. And you're being weird.
我们的职责就是重启这个世界 It's our job to make it start again.
对吧 狗狗？ Right, Dog?
天使！我错啦 Angel! I'm sorry.
我道歉 那些话我无心说的 I apologise. Whatever I said, I didn't mean it.
跟我合作吧 我都道歉了 行了吧？好嘞 Work with me, I'm apologising here. Yes? Good.
- 快上车吧 - 哈？才不 -Get in the car. -What? No.
地狱的势力已经察觉了我的疏忽 The forces of Hell have figured out it was my fault.
但是我们可以一起跑的嘛 去半人马座阿尔法星 But we can run away together. Alpha Centauri.
那边又大又宽敞 没人找得到咱俩的 Lots of spare planets up there. Nobody would even notice us.
克鲁利 你可真是不讲理 Crowley, you're being ridiculous.
听着 我——我——我很肯定自己能—— Look, I-I-I'm quite sure if I can just--
找到合适的人 疏通疏通 然后问题就都解决了 just reach the right people, then I can get all this sorted out.
哪还有合适的人 只有上帝 There aren't any right people. There's just God,
她老人家行踪诡秘 什么都不跟我们讲 moving in mysterious ways and not talking to any of us.
嗯 是啊 所以我要找全能的上帝沟通一番 Well, yes, and that is why I'm going to have a word with the Almighty,
请求她来修正一切错误 and then the Almighty will fix it.
少做梦了 That won't happen.
你这么聪明 You're so clever.
聪明如你居然还能冒这种傻气？ How can somebody as clever as you be so stupid?
我宽恕你 I forgive you.
我回家了 天使 I'm going home, Angel.
收拾好东西我就滚蛋 I'm getting my stuff and I'm leaving.
飞向群星 想都不带想你的 And when I'm off in the stars, I won't even think about you.
我也经历过 I've been there.
没他你能过得更好 You're better off without him.
克鲁利！ Crowley!
我们就和你简单聊聊嘛 We only want a little word with you.
我们知道你在家 We know you're in there.
克鲁利！ Crowley!
这儿呢 二位 In here, people.
来啦 Hi.
那——那——那可是圣水！ That's-- that's-- that's holy water!
我真想不到一个恶魔竟——竟——竟然—— I can't believe even a demon would-- would-- would--
圣水！真——真—— Holy water! That's-- that's...
他又没对你动手！ But he hadn't done nothing to you!
还没 Yet.
你…… You...
你吓不到我 You don't frighten me.
你知道这是什么吗？ Do you know what this is?
此段台词致敬1971年经典美国警匪片《肮脏的哈里》（Dirty Harry）。
这是一个浇水用的喷壶 This is a plant mister,
原台词为——“这是点44口径的麦格农，世界上威力最大的手枪，它能把你的脑袋直接打飞……
现在市面上最便宜最高效的一款 cheapest and most efficient on the market today.
它能把细水喷雾喷到空气中 It can squirt a fine spray of water into the air.
瓶子里装的是圣水 It's filled with holy water.
可以把你变成那样 It can turn you into that.
虚张声势 You're bluffing.
……你可以问问你自己：‘我觉得自己运气怎么样？’哈，怎么样啊，你这个废物？”
或许是 或许不是 Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not.
问问你自己： Ask yourself:
你觉得自己运气怎么样？ do you feel lucky?
还不错 你呢？ Yes. Do you?
- 嗷！ - 该走了 克鲁利 - Ow! - Time to go, Crowley.
在吗？我知道敌基督在—— Hello? I know where the Anti--
你好 我是安东尼·克鲁利 Hi, this is Anthony Crowley.
你知道该怎么做 留言要有范儿 You know what to do. Do it with style.
别动！ Don't move!
在你让自己丢脸之前 There's something very important you need to know
有件非常重要的事情你得知道 before you disgrace yourself.
我知道敌基督在—— I know where the Anti--
好好 现在不太方便 有个老朋友在 Yeah, it's not a good time. Got an old friend here.
但是—— But--
那么 你肯定通过测试啦 Well, you've definitely passed the test.
你已经准备好和大人们一起玩了 You're ready to start playing with the big boys.
你说什么？你疯了 What? You're mad.
地狱君王得确保你是值得信赖的 The Lords of Hell had to make sure you were trustworthy
我们才能在即将到来的战争中 把被诅咒的军团 before we gave you command of the legions of the damned
交给你指挥 in the war ahead.
现在 哈斯塔 And, Hastur,
地狱公爵 Duke of Hell,
- 你高分通过了测试 - 我？ - you've come through with flying colours. - Me?
现在 我——我不指望你能相信我 哈斯塔公爵 Now, I-I wouldn't expect you to believe me, Duke Hastur.
那我们为什么不和黑暗议会沟通一下呢？ But why don't we talk to the Dark Council?
看看他们能不能说服你 Let's see if they can convince you.
你在给黑暗议会打电话？ You're calling the Dark Council?
是的 Yes, I am.
他们说“再见啦 笨蛋！” And they say, "So long, sucker!"
你或许在疑惑克鲁利去了哪 You're probably wondering where Crowley has gone.
我
正在呼叫
恶魔可不受物理约束 Demons aren't bound by physics.
许多年以来 人们花了很多时间从理论上 Over the years, a huge number of theological man-hours
讨论这个问题： have been spent debating the question:
“多少个天使可以在一个大头针的尖上跳舞？” "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?"
为了回答这个问题 我们需要信息 To answer it, we need information.
首先 天使不跳舞 Firstly, angels don't dance.
这是标志着一个天使的 It's one of the distinguishing characteristics
极具区分度的特征 that marks an angel.
所以 答案是零个 So, none.
严谨一点 几乎是零 At least, nearly none.
在19世纪80年代末 亚茨拉菲尔在一个 Aziraphale had learned a dance called the "gavotte"
加沃特是一种法国古代的民间舞曲，又译嘉禾舞曲。17世纪时加沃特舞曲在法国宫廷中非常流行。
位于波特兰广场的秘密绅士俱乐部 in a discreet gentlemen's club
学会了一种叫作“加沃特”的舞蹈 in Portland Place in the late 1880s.
一段时间后 他就跳得相当好了 After a while, he had become fairly good at it,
几十年后 加沃特舞彻底过时之后 and was quite put out when, some decades later,
亚茨拉菲尔非常难过 the gavotte went out of style for good.
所以假设说的舞蹈是加沃特舞 So providing the dance was a gavotte,
那么答案就是简单的“一个” the answer is a straightforward "one".
话说回来 你或许就又会问多少个恶魔 Then again, you might just as well ask how many demons
可以在一个大头针的尖上跳舞 can dance on the head of a pin.
毕竟他们的血统都是相同的 They're of the same original stock, after all.
而且至少恶魔会跳舞 And at least demons dance.
尽管不是那种你觉得优雅的舞蹈 Not what you'd call good dancing, though.
对于恶魔或天使来说 For demons or for angels,
体型和身材只是个人的选择 size and shape are simply options.
因此 如果你靠得足够近去观察 So, if you look from really close up,
关于在大头针上跳舞唯一的问题 the only problem about dancing on the head of a pin
我
正在呼叫
是电子之间那些大空隙 is all those big gaps between electrons.
那就是克鲁利去的地方 That's where Crowley has gone.
那也是哈斯塔跟去的地方 That's where Hastur is following.
此刻 他们都在电话系统里 Right now, they are both travelling incredibly fast
- 飞快地穿行 - 哇——噢！ - through the telephone system. - Whoa-oh!
唔——呼——呼！ Whoo-hoo-hoo!
克鲁利！ Crowley!
你逃不过我的！ You can't escape me!
无论你从哪出去 我也会出去！ Wherever you come out, I'll come out too!
三 二 一 Three, two, one.
你听见了吗？克鲁利！ You hear me? Crowley!
你好 我是安—— Hi, this is An--
你在哪 你个小畜生？ Where are you, you little runt?
我听见你的声音了 I heard your voice.
你 还有你最好的朋友亚茨拉菲尔 You and your best friend Aziraphale,
你们都死定了 you're dead meat.
地狱公爵哈斯塔现在被困在了 Hastur, Duke of Hell, is now trapped on a tape
克鲁利古老的电话答录机内的一盘磁带上 inside Crowley's antique telephone answering machine.
我在哪？别把我丢在这 Where am I? Don't leave me here.
- 我知道敌基督在哪 - 哦不 - I know where the Antichrist is. - Oh, no.
- 我知道敌基督在—— - 哦不 你不会的 - I know where the Antichrist-- -Oh, no, you wouldn't.
你怎么敢 你…… You wouldn't dare, you...
你条阴险小蛇！ you snake!
28分钟前
你好啊 亚茨拉菲尔 Hello, Aziraphale.
哦 米迦勒 Oh, Michael.
乌列 Uriel.
乌列的字面意思是“神之光”，是犹太教及基督教文化中一位天使长的名字。
圣德芬 天使长
圣德芬 Sandalphon.
你们好 呃…… Hello, erm...
我们刚刚得知一些有关你的 We've just been learning some rather disturbing
乌列 天使长
令人不安的消息 things about you.
你这个天使 是不是有点堕落了？ You've been a bit of a fallen angel, haven't you?
你是不是还勾结敌人？ Consorting with the enemy?
哦 我——我——我没有勾结敌人啊 Oh, I-I-I haven't been consorting.
别以为你那戴墨镜的男朋友 Don't think your boyfriend in the dark glasses
能在地狱给你搞到特殊待遇 will get you special treatment in Hell.
他也有麻烦了 He's in trouble too.
亚茨拉菲尔 是时候选择你的阵营了 Aziraphale, it's time to choose sides.
其实 我已经——我已经想了很多 I've-I've actually been giving that a lot of thought.
有关 呃 这个选择阵营的事 The, erm, the whole choosing sides thing.
呃 我想的是 显然得有两个阵营 Erm, what I think is that there obviously has to be two sides.
这是关键 所以人们才能做出选择 That's the whole point. So people can make choices.
这才是——这才是做人的意义 That's-- that's what being human means.
做出选择 Choices.
但——但那是——那是对他们来说 But-- but that's-- that's for them.
我们作为——作为天使的工作应该是维持这一切的运转 Our job as-as angels should be to keep all this working
这样他们才能做出选择 so they can make choices.
你想太多了 You think too much.
你……你不能这样 You...you mustn't.
你为什么要这样？ Why would you do this?
我们是好人 我必须警告你—— We're the good guys. I have to warn you that--
我要把这次交涉全部上报给…… that I'm going to take this entire interaction up with...
上报给……更高层的领导 up with... a higher authority.
你真的觉得高层会接你的电话吗？ You really think upstairs will take your call?
你太可笑了 You're ridiculous.
哦 太好了 要开始了 Oh, this is great. It's starting.
你们……你们…… You...you...
坏天使 bad angels.
在我看来 如果所有的核弹都爆炸 Seems to me it'd serve everyone right
万物重新开始 向着好的方向发展 if all the nuclear bombs went off and it started again,
这对每个人来说都是好的 only properly this time.
然后我们就能解决所有问题了 Then we could sort it all out.
这些炸弹都爆炸了 There's all these bombs going off.
人们会死的 People get killed.
为了我还未出生的后代考虑 我反对 Speaking as a mother of unborn generations, I'm against it.
你们都会没事的 我会确保这件事 You'd all be fine. I'd see to that.
整个世界都归我们所有 这一定很诡异 是不是？ It'd be wicked, eh, to have the whole world to ourselves, wouldn't it?
我们可以玩很棒的游戏 我们可以和真正的军队开战 We could have amazing games. We could have war with real armies.
但是那时就没有人了 But there won't be any people.
他们都死了啊 They'd all be dead.
哦 我可以给我们造一些新的人 Oh, I can make us some new people.
亚当 求你放我们回家吧 Adam, please let us go home.
- 我想要我妈妈和爸爸 - 不行 - I want my mummy and my daddy. - No.
我会给你们造出新的妈妈和爸爸 I'll make you new mummies and daddies.
求你了 亚当！ Please, Adam!
亚当 你在干什么？！ Adam, what are you doing?!
有几个朋友要过来了 I've got friends coming soon.
你们会喜欢他们的 他们很像你们 You'll like them. They're a lot like you.
他们将要帮助我终结这一切 They're going to help me make it all stop.
亚当 求你了 我动不了！ Actually, Adam, please, I can't move!
我不喜欢这个游戏！ I don't like this game!
你们等着吧 事情会变得很诡异的 You wait. It's going to be wicked.
所以我们找到这个亚当 然后呢？ So we find this Adam, and then what do we do?
阻止他 Stop him.
他会开启末日之战 He's bringing Armageddon.
那 我们礼貌地请求他停下？ So, we ask him nicely to stop?
我也不知道 艾格尼丝没说 I don't know. Agnes doesn't say.
她转去说了一些有关…… She goes off on stuff about...
你和我的事 you and me.
- 比如呢？ - 哦 一些愚蠢的事 - Like what? - Oh, stupid stuff.
你……你不想知道的 You...you don't want to know.
猪背巷离这儿不远 Hogback Lane isn't far from here.
抓紧了！ Hold on!
我又不是傻子！ I'm not an idiot!
英格兰哪有龙卷风啊！ You don't get tornados in England!
今天就有！ We do today!
第691则预言！ Prophecy 691!
大风会停下几秒钟 然后双倍增强 The wind should drop in a few seconds, then redouble.
在大风重新袭来之前 我们有不到一分钟时间 We'll have less than a minute to go back inside
回到屋里 before it starts again.
懂了吗？ Got it?
好的 懂了 Okay. Got it.
躲到床下！ Under the bed!
这太疯狂了 This is insane.
这里不该有龙卷风的 You don't get tornados here.
艾格尼丝有没有说我们接下来做什么？ Did Agnes say what we have to do next?
讓命運之輪旋轉 Let the wheel of fate turn.
聽從内心的選擇 Let hearts enjoin.
在我之外還有其它火焰 There are other fires than mine.
儅旋風呼嘯 When the whirlwind whirls,
- 對彼此敞開心扉吧 - -“对彼此敞开心扉吧”！ - reach out to one another. - -"Reach out to one another"!
世界快要走到尽头了 可我—— The world's about to end, and I've--
我从来没—— I've never--
从没抢过银行 never robbed a bank.
我从没收过停车罚单 I've never got a parking ticket.
我从没吃过泰国菜 I've never eaten Thai food.
我从没出过国 I've never been abroad.
我从没学过任何乐器 I've never learned to play a musical instrument,
我也从没…… and I've never...
亲过女孩子？ Kissed a girl?
没 一次都没有 No, not even once.
茉莉小屋
哈 Huh.
我给你煮了一壶好茶 I made you a nice cup of tea.
按你喜欢的方式做的 I made it just the way you like it.
九块糖 加炼乳 Nine sugars and condensed milk.
侬滚开 侬放浪女人 Awa' wi' ye, ye murrain plashed berrizene.
哦 沙德威尔先生 这是你说过的最好的话了 Oh, Mr Shadwell. You say the nicest things.
俺把他送去了末日门口 I've sent him into the jaws of doom.
- 谁啊？ - 二等兵帕西法 - Who? - Private Pulsifer.
是咧 他还只是个小子 俺让他自个儿去了 Aye, he's just a lad. I let him go alone.
俺该跟他一块去的 I should have gone with him.
他不过只是出一天的美差而已 Well, he's just having a nice day out.
这可不太寻常 That's unusual.
俺是个坏人 还是个更差劲的猎巫人中士 I'm a bad man and a worse Witchfinder Sergeant.
不敢相信俺让他自个儿去了 I cannot believe I let him go alone.
俺应该去找他 I should go to him.
有趟火车就到塔德菲尔德 There's a train to Tadfield.
俺的公交月票坐不得火车 I can't get there on my bus pass.
也莫得钱来买火车票 There's not funds for a train ticket.
哦 俺不用侬的钱 Oh, I'll not travel on the wages
都是卖淫和装神弄鬼骗来的 of harlotry and ghost-raising.
再备五英镑买三明治和咖啡 You'll need an extra five pounds for a sandwich and a coffee.
等一下 Wait.
我们是不是该先一起吃个饭什么的？ Shouldn't we have dinner or something first?
嘘 没时间了 Shh. No time.
那好吧 如果你不肯拿我的钱 Well, if you won't take it from me,
找那几个打来电话的人怎么样？ what about one of those nice men that called?
克鲁利先生不会提前给俺钱 Mr Crowley won't give me an advance.
俺觉得他是黑手党 I think he's Mafia.
但是书店那个南方娘炮 But the southern pansy in the bookshop
没准好说话 might be a soft touch.
是咧 他可有钱 Aye, he's got money.
哪怕现在 小帕西法可能在黑夜的女儿手中 Even now, young Pulsifer could be suffering
遭受着难以想象的折磨 unimaginable tortures at the hands of the Daughters of Night.
俺不敢想他在遭受着什么 I can't imagine what he's going through.
是咧 俺们不能把自己人扔在那 Aye, we can't leave our people in there.
他们可能在用各种方式对待他 They could be doing all manner of things to him
就现在 right this moment.
其实 哪怕他们确实这么干 我也不觉得 Well, I don't suppose it'll be the end of the world
这就是世界末日了 沙先生 even if they are, Mr S.
求你了 亚当！ But, please, Adam!
我们得回家了！ We have to go home!
这就是你们的家！在这里 和我一起！ This is your home! Here, with me!
你们不需要回家或者上学什么的 You don't have to go home or go to school or anything.
或是做你们不想做的事 再也不用 Or do anything you don't want to do, ever again.
亚当 快停下！ Adam, just stop it!
闭嘴！ Shut up!
快停下！停下！停下来！ Just stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
别说了！你们现在都得闭嘴了！ Stop talking! You all have to stop talking now!
所有人 不许说话！ Everybody, stop talking!
暂停营业
你好 Hello.
我是权天使亚茨拉菲尔 This is the Principality Aziraphale.
我想找 呃…… I'm looking for, erm...
高层领导 a higher authority.
有人在吗？ Is there anybody there?
我们打烊了！ We're closed!
这件事真的非常严重 This really is frightfully important.
我打算直接报告最高领导 I'm prepared to take this all the way to the top.
我 呃…… I, erm...
我——我——我得和全能的上帝说话 I-I-I need to speak to the Almighty.
说吧 亚茨拉菲尔 Speak, Aziraphale.
我是在和…… Am I speaking to...
上帝说话吗？ God?
你在和梅塔特隆说话 亚茨拉菲尔 You are speaking to the Metatron, Aziraphale.
梅塔特隆，又译米达伦，犹太教和基督教文化中的天使，据称是上帝的代理人书记官， 象征智慧和博学。他的躯体在天使里最为庞大，背生36翼。
和我说就是和上帝说了 To speak to me is to speak to God.
我替全能的上帝发言 I am the voice of the Almighty.
啊 是的 但是你替全能的上帝发言 Well, yes. But you are the voice of the Almighty
就像是 呃 总统发言人 in the same way as, erm, a presidential spokesman
是——是替总统发言一样 is-is the voice of the President.
事实上我需要直接和上帝对话 I actually need to speak directly to God.
对我说的话就是对上帝说的话 What is said to me is said to the Almighty.
想说什么呢 亚茨拉菲尔？ Well, Aziraphale?
我想投诉几个天使的行为 I want to complain about the conduct of a few angels.
但是重——重要的事是敌基督 But the-the important thing is the Antichrist.
我知道他是谁 也知道他在哪 I know who he is, I know where he is.
很好 干得很棒 Good work, well done.
所以就没必要搞那些 呃 So there doesn't need to be any of that nonsense about, erm,
三分之一的大海都变成了血什么的 a third of the seas turning to blood or anything.
没必要开战了 我们可以拯救所有人 There needn't be a war. We can save everyone.
重点不是避免战争 The point is not to avoid the war.
而是赢下它 The point is to win it.
啊 Ah.
呃…… Erm...
哪种 呃 什么事可以成为战争的导火索呢？ What sort of, er, initiating event will precipitate the war?
我们觉得多国之间的核战争 We thought a multi-nation nuclear exchange
是个不错的开始 would be a nice start.
很有想象力 Very imaginative.
战斗即将开始了 亚茨拉菲尔 The battle commences, Aziraphale.
- 加入我们 - 马上就来 - Join us. - In a jiffy.
一眨眼的工夫就好 Two shakes of a lamb's tail.
字面意思是“小羊摇两下尾巴的时间”
还有一些事情需要收尾 Just a-a couple of things left to tie up.
那我们把大门给你开着吧 We will leave the gateway open for you, then.
别磨蹭了 Do not dawdle.
好的 非常…… Yes. Jolly...
非常好 jolly good.
- 在吗 我知道敌基督在—— - 你好 我是安东尼·克鲁利 - Hello. I know where the Anti-- -Hi, this is Anthony Crowley.
你知道该怎么做 留言要有范儿 You know what to do. Do it with style.
我知道你是谁 你个傻子 是我给你打的电话 Well, I know who you are, you idiot. I telephoned you.
听着 我知道敌基督在—— Listen, I know where the Anti--
好好 现在不太方便 有个老朋友在 Yeah, it's not a good time. Got an old friend here.
- 可是—— - 侬个恶魔！ - But-- - You foul fiend!
和黑暗力量一伙！ In league with the forces of darkness!
沙德威尔中士？ Sergeant Shadwell?
侬个禽兽！ You monster!
引诱女人去做侬邪恶的勾当 Seducing women to do your evil will.
哦 我想你可能走错店了 Oh, I think perhaps you've got the wrong shop.
侬被恶魔附身了 俺会为侬驱魔 You are possessed by a demon, and I will exorcise you
就用铃铛 书和蜡烛 with bell, book and candle.
是的 呃 好吧 Yes, er, fine.
但是 麻烦你 离那个圆圈远一点 But, please, keep away from the circle.
它还——还开着 It's-- it's still powered up.
铃铛 Bell.
我真的不是恶魔 I'm honestly not a demon.
艾格尼絲·風子的 準確精良預言書
我-我不知道你以为看到了什么 但是—— I-I don't know what you think you saw, but--
书！ Book!
麻烦你 你——你——你必须远离这个圆圈 Please, you-you-you must keep away from the circle.
实际上就是个蜡烛 Practically a candle.
你看这圆圈还开着 你没做好保护措施 Look the circle is on, and it would be very unwise
就踩进去 太不明智了 for you to step into it without the proper precaution.
无论你觉得看到了什么 Whatever you think you've seen,
别穿过那个圆圈 你个蠢人！ don't cross the circle, you stupid man!
恶魔 别再后退了！ Evil, returning no more!
哦…… Oh...
我操 fuck.
有人吗？ Hello?
音乐之声 剧院节目单
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