亚马逊出品
衣柜字幕组 诚意奉献
伊甸园
公元前4004年
亚茨拉菲尔 权天使 兼职书商
亚茨拉菲尔 东方大门的天使 Aziraphale. Angel of the Eastern Gate.
我主有何吩咐？ Yes, Lord?
亚茨拉菲尔 我给你的那把 Where is the flaming sword I gave you, Aziraphale,
用来守护伊甸园的炎剑在哪？ to guard the Gate of Eden?
剑？哦对 Sword? Right.
嗯……呃…… Um... uh...
又大又尖 锋利的东西 是的 Big, sharp, cutty thing. Yes.
呃…… Uh...
哦 一定是 呃—— Oh, must have, uh--
一定是放在这下面某个地方了 must have put it down here somewhere.
呃…… Um...
下次忘的就是我的脑袋了 Forget my own head next.
哦 天呐 Oh, dear.
美索不达米亚
公元前3004年
你好啊 亚茨拉菲尔 Hello, Aziraphale.
克蠕戾 Crawley.
所以 把炎剑给了凡人 So, giving the mortals a flaming sword.
克鲁利 堕天使
结果怎么样啊？ How did that work out for you?
其实 全能的上帝再也没提起过这事 The Almighty has never actually mentioned it again.
可能是件好事吧 Probably a good thing.
这都是在干嘛？ What's all this about?
造了个大船还装进去一个行走的动物园？ Build a big boat and fill it with a travelling zoo?
我听说 上帝有点生气 From what I hear, God's a bit tetchy.
要灭绝人类呢 Wiping out the human race.
《圣经·旧约》：因为再过七天，我要降雨在地上四十昼夜，把我所造的各种活物都从地上除灭。（创世纪7:4）
用狂风暴雨 Big storm.
所有人？ All of them?
只有当地人 Just the locals.
我觉得全能上帝对华夏民族没啥意见 I don't believe the Almighty's upset with the Chinese.
对西方大陆那些人也是 Or the Native Americans.
还有南方大陆的人类 Or the Australians.
- 还没生气而已 - 而且上帝 -Yet. -And God's not actually
也没打算消灭所有的当地人 going to wipe out all the locals.
你看 挪亚 就上面那个 I mean, Noah, up there,
据《圣经·创世纪》，上帝因世间充满罪恶而降下 四十昼夜的大雨，毁灭了世界。上帝欣赏挪亚是个义人， 命他建方舟以避祸，并在每个品种的动物中 都选出一对公母带上方舟。挪亚活了950岁， 500岁时生了三个儿子闪、含和雅弗。 洪水泛滥时挪亚600岁。
他的家人 儿子和他们的妻子 his family, and his sons, their wives,
他们都不会有事的 they're all going to be fine.
但是要淹死其他人？ But they're drowning everybody else?
连小孩都不放过？可不能杀死小孩啊 Not the kids? You can't kill kids.
嗯哼 Mm-hmm.
这种事一般来说我们这些人才会做啊 Well, that's more the kind of thing you'd expect my lot to do.
是的 但当这些都过去 Yes, but when it's done,
全能的上帝将会挂起一个新的东西 叫作“彩 虹” the Almighty's going to put up a new thing, called a "rain bow",
《圣经·旧约》：我把虹放在云彩中， 这就可作我与地立约的记号了。 我使云彩盖地的时候，必有虹现在云彩中， 我便记念我与你们和各样有血肉的活物所立的约， 水就再不泛滥毁坏一切有血肉的物了。 （创世记9:13-15）
用来承诺再也不会淹死任何人 as a promise not to drown everyone again.
那可真善良 How kind.
你不能评判全能的上帝 克蠕戾 You can't judge the Almighty, Crawley.
上帝的计划是—— God's plans are--
你是要说“不可言喻的”吗？ Are you going to say "ineffable"?
可能吧 Possibly.
喂！闪！ Oy! Shem!
闪，挪亚的长子，传说是亚洲人的祖先，也是犹太人的祖先。
那只独角兽要跑啦 That unicorn's going to make a run for it.
哦 太晚了 太晚了！ Oh, it's too late. It's too late!
好歹你们还有一只 Well, you've still got one of them.
父啊 求你了 Father, please.
你得原谅他们 You have to forgive them.
各各他
啊！ Aah!
公元33年
他们不知道他们在做什么 They don't know what they are doing.
啊！ Aah!
你来瞧这可怜虫 是为了幸灾乐祸吗？ Come to smirk at the poor bugger, have you?
幸灾乐祸？我吗？ Smirk? Me?
反正是你们这些人把他钉上去的 Well, your lot put him on there.
我可没参与决策过程 克蠕戾 I'm not consulted on policy decisions, Crawley.
对了 我给改了 Oh, I've changed it.
- 改什么了？ - 我的名字 -Changed what? -My name.
“克蠕戾”就不太适合我 "Crawl-y" just wasn't really doing it for me.
有种在你脚边蠕动的感觉 It's a bit too... squirming-at-your-feet-ish.
可你就是条蛇啊 Well, you were a snake.
所以现在叫什么？ So, what is it now?
梅菲斯托费勒斯？阿斯摩太？ Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?
梅菲斯托费勒斯，简称梅菲斯特、墨菲斯托，德意志地区民间传说中的恶魔；阿斯摩太，多次出现在古犹太典籍中的恶魔。
克鲁利 Crowley.
嗯 Hmm.
你有没有 呃…… Did you, uh...
见过他？ ever meet him?
见过 Yes.
看上去是个非常聪明的年轻人 Seemed a very bright young man.
我给他展示了世界上所有的王国 I showed him all the kingdoms of the world.
为什么？ Why?
他只是加利利的一个木匠 He's a carpenter from Galilee.
加利利，又译加里肋亚，以色列北部地区名，最重要的城市是著名港口海法。
没什么机会旅行 His travel opportunities are limited.
那一定很疼 That has got to hurt.
他说了什么让大家这么反感？ What was it he said that got everyone so upset?
“善待彼此” "Be kind to each other."
哦 这样 难怪了 Oh, yeah. That'll do it.
罗马
8年后
你们这有什么？ What have you got?
给我来一壶你觉得能喝的东西 Give me a jug of whatever you think is drinkable.
一壶自酿棕啤 Jug of house brown.
两塞斯特斯 Two sesterces.
塞斯特斯，古罗马时期的一种货币， 在共和国时期为小型银币， 帝国时期改为大型铜币。
克蠕戾——克鲁利？ Crawley-- Crowley?
这…… Well...
在这遇见你可真是太巧了 Fancy running into you here.
还是个恶魔呢？ Still a demon, then?
这是哪门子傻逼问题 “还是个恶魔呢”？ What kind of stupid question is that, "Still a demon"?
不然我还能是什么 土豚吗？ What else am I going to be, an aardvark?
干杯 Salutaria.
在罗马长待吗？ In Rome long?
就来很快地诱惑个人 Just nipped in for a quick temptation.
- 你呢？ - 我想试试 -You? -I thought I'd try
盖厄斯·佩特罗尼乌斯·阿尔比特（前27-66）， 古罗马帝国尼禄统治时期的廷臣、诗人。 据传，讽刺小说《Satyricon》（爱情神话） 便是他的作品。这部小说中有 对古罗马时代晚宴的描写，菜品包括牡蛎。
佩特罗尼乌斯的新餐馆 Petronius' new restaurant.
我听说他做牡蛎很棒 I hear he does remarkable things to oysters.
我从来没吃过牡蛎 I've never eaten an oyster.
哦 Oh.
哦 那 让我来诱惑你—— Oh, well, let me tempt you to--
哦 不 Oh, no.
不 那是——那是你的工作 是吧？ No, that's--that's your job, isn't it?
威塞克斯王国
威塞克斯王国 是英格兰七国时代位于西南部的一个盎格鲁-撒克逊人的王国， 意为“西撒克逊人的王国”，境内多沼泽、湿地。
公元537年
有人吗？ Hello?
我 圆桌骑士亚茨拉菲尔 I, Sir Aziraphale of the Table Round,
圆桌骑士 是传说中不列颠的亚瑟王朝廷内最高等的骑士。
在这里要和 am here to speak
黑骑士对话 to the Black Knight.
哦 好吧 Oh. Right.
呃……你好 Um... hello.
- 对 过来 - 我…… - Yeah, come. - I...
我是来会见黑骑士的 I was hoping to meet with the Black Knight?
你已经找到了黑骑士 蠢材 You have sought the Black Knight, foolish one.
但你的死期也到了 But you have found your death.
是你在里面吗 克蠕戾？ Is that you under there, Crawley?
是克鲁利 Crowley.
你到底在搞什么把戏？ What the hell are you playing at?
没事的 伙计们 我认识他 他不是坏人 It's alright, lads. I know him. He's alright.
我在散播怨恨 I'm here spreading foment.
那是什么 一种粥吗？ What is that, some kind of porridge?
不 我在挑起异议与不和 No. I'm, you know, fomenting dissent and discord.
亚瑟王在这片土地已经散播了 King Arthur's been spreading too much
亚瑟王 是公元5世纪到6世纪间不列颠的一位国王，其主要事迹是在西罗马帝国崩溃后率领当地的凯尔特人和罗马人抵抗 盎格鲁-撒克逊人入侵英格兰。有的学者认为亚瑟王在历史上并不存在，仅仅是一个捏造出来的神话人物。
太多的和平与宁静 peace and tranquillity in the land,
所以我在 煽动不和 so I'm here, you know, fomenting.
好吧 我是来煽动和平的 Well, I'm meant to be fomenting peace.
所以我们都在这个潮湿的地方努力工作 So we're both working very hard in damp places
结果都在做无用功？ and just cancelling each other out?
你也可以这么说 Well, you could put it like that.
这儿是有点潮 It is a bit damp.
不如我们待在家算了 Be easier if we both stayed home.
干脆给总部发消息 If we just sent messages back to our head offices
就说我们完成了任务 有何不可？ saying we'd done everything they'd asked for, wouldn't it?
但那是在撒谎 But that would be lying.
呃 可能吧 但结果都是一样的啊 Eh, possibly, but the end result would be the same.
互相抵消了 Cancel each other out.
可是 我亲爱的同伴们…… But, my dear fellow...
他们会检查的 well, they'd check.
米迦勒有点……注重细节 Michael's a... bit of a stickler.
米迦勒，天使长，天主所指定的伊甸园守护者，也是圣经提到唯一具有天使长头衔的天使。
惹加百列生气也不是什么好事 You don't want to get Gabriel upset with you.
哦 比起验证地面上的任务报告 Oh, our lot have better things to do
我们的人还有更好的事可做 than verifying compliance reports from Earth.
只要能拿到报告 As long as they get the paperwork,
他们看起来就挺高兴的 they seem happy enough.
只要你时不时地被看到正在 As long as you're being seen to be doing something
做些什么就好了 every now and again.
不！绝对不要！ No! Absolutely not!
我很震惊你竟然会暗示这种事情 I am shocked that you would even imply such a thing.
我们没什么好说的了 We're not having this conversation.
一个字都别再说了 Not another word.
- 行吧 - 就是这样！ -Right. -Right!
伦敦 环球剧场
1601年
牡蛎！ Oysters!
- 橘子！ - 来点葡萄吧 麻烦了 -Oranges! -Some grapes, please.
- “生存还是毁灭 这是一个值得考虑的问题” - 它们看上去很好吃 - To be or not to be, that is the question. -They look scrummy.
出自威廉·莎士比亚《哈姆雷特》。
“哪一种更高贵” Whether 'tis nobler in the mind
“默然忍受命运的 to suffer the slings and arrows
- 暴虐的毒箭……” - 我以为你说我们在这儿不显眼 -of outrageous fortune... -I thought you said we'd be inconspicuous here.
混入人群当中 Blend in among the crowds.
我本来是这么想的 Well, that was the idea.
- 等一下 - 橘子！ - Hang on. - Oranges!
这难道就是莎士比亚的一出悲剧？ This isn't one of Shakespeare's gloomy ones, is it?
- 怪不得没人看 - 嘘 那是他 是他 -No wonder nobody's here. -Shh. It's him. It's him.
麻烦了 先生们 能否请您帮个小忙？ Prithee, gentles. Might I request a small favour?
您可否 作为观众 Could you, in your role as the audience,
配合一下我们的表演？ give us more to work with?
你是说 当他父亲的鬼魂出现时 You mean, like when the ghost of his father came on,
我就大喊“他在你背后！” and I said, "He's behind you!"
就是这样 这非常有帮助 Just so. That was jolly helpful.
让台上的每个人觉得受到了赏识 Made everyone on stage feel appreciated.
多一些配合 A bit more of that.
很好 伯比奇老师 麻烦您 Good Master Burbage, please.
理查德·伯比奇（1567-1619），英国著名演员，莎士比亚的商业伙伴和好友， 也是莎士比多部亚戏剧首演时的主角扮演者。其父詹姆斯是演员、剧院经理和老板。
台词说得再流畅些 Speak the lines trippingly.
我在这上面就是浪费时间 I am wasting my time up here.
不 不 你演得很好 No, no, you're very good.
我很喜欢所有的…… I love all the...
对话 talking.
你的朋友怎么看？ And what does your friend think?
哦 他不是我的朋友 Oh, he's not my friend.
我们从没见过 不认识 We've never met before. We don't know each other.
我觉得你应该继续你的表演 I think you should get on with the play.
是啊 伯比奇 请继续 Yes, Burbage. Please.
从头开始 From the top.
“生存还是毁灭” To be or not to be.
“这是一个值得考虑的问题” That is the question.
生存！我是说 毁灭！ To be! I mean, not to be!
加油 哈姆雷特！振作起来！ Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!
“哪一种更高贵 默然忍受命运的 Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
- 暴虐的毒箭……” - 他演得很棒 是不是？ -the slings and arrows... -He's very good, isn't he?
在威廉·莎士比亚作品《安东尼与克莉奥佩特拉》中，这句台词是“Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety.” 借马克·安东尼的部将爱诺巴勃斯之口说出，用以形容“埃及艳后”克莉奥佩特拉。
“岁月不能枯萎他 Age does not wither,
习俗也不能腐烂他无限的千姿百态” nor custom stale his infinite variety.
嗯！ Mmm!
我喜欢 Yeah, I like that.
“死了 睡着了” To die. To sleep.
- “什么都完了……” - 你到底想要什么？ -No more... -What do you want?
你为什么总是暗示 Why ever would you insinuate
我或许可能是目的不纯？ that I might possibly want something?
你不是个什么好东西 You are up to no good.
很显然 那我理解的 你就是个好东西咯？ Obviously. You're up to good, I take it?
干了很多好事？ Lots of good deeds?
不遗余力地……做好事 No rest for the...well, good.
周末我得去爱丁堡 I have to be in Edinburgh at the end of the week.
- 喔 - 要送去几个祝福 -Oh. -A couple of blessings to do.
完成一个小小的奇迹 A minor miracle to perform.
很显然 我得骑马 Apparently, I have to ride a horse.
骑马 顶屁股 Hard on the buttocks, horses.
要让我说 是个重大设计缺陷 Major design flaw, if you ask me.
我这周也打算去爱丁堡来着 I'm meant to be heading to Edinburgh too this week.
诱惑一个部族首领偷牲口 Tempting a clan leader to steal some cattle.
听上去没多难啊 Doesn't sound like hard work.
“被轻蔑的爱情的惨痛和官吏的横暴” The pangs of despised love and the insolence of office.
还是《哈姆雷特》。
- “和小人的鄙视……” - 这就是为什么我觉得我们应该…… -And the spurns that we are... -That's why I thought we should...
其实 有点浪费精力 Well, bit of a waste of effort,
我们两个还都大老远跑去苏格兰 both of us going all the way to Scotland.
此时，苏格兰王国与英格兰王国尚未合并。
你不是真的在提议…… You cannot actually be suggesting...
我推测的…… what I infer...
你暗示的事情吧 you are implying.
你的推测是？ Which is?
只有我们其中一个人去爱丁堡 把两件事都做了 That just one of us goes to Edinburgh, does both.
祝福和诱惑 The blessing and the tempting.
又不是没这么干过 We've done it before.
都十好几次了 Dozens of times now.
- 计划安排—— - 别说出来 -The arrangement-- -Don't say that.
我们各自的总部真的不在乎 Our respective head offices don't actually care
事情是怎么做成的 how things get done.
他们就是想知道他们可以把这事划掉了 They just want to know they can cross it off the list.
可如果地狱发现了 他们就不仅仅是生气了 But if Hell finds out, they won't just be angry,
他们会摧毁你 they'll destroy you.
没必要让人知道这件事 Nobody ever has to know.
抛硬币决定谁去爱丁堡 Toss you for Edinburgh.
好吧 我选正面 Fine. Heads.
恐怕是反面 你得去趟苏格兰了 Tails, I'm afraid. You're going to Scotland.
每次表演都是这样 朱丽叶 It's been like this every performance, Juliet.
太烂了 Complete dud.
得需要个奇迹才会有人来看《哈姆雷特》 It'd take a miracle to get anyone to come and see "Hamlet".
行 好吧 Yes, alright.
这个我来吧 我请客 I'll do that one. My treat.
- 哦 真的吗？ - 我还是更喜欢那些喜剧 -Oh, really? -I still prefer the funny ones.
巴黎
1793年，法国大革命进入高潮。这一年当中，路易十六被处决、 雅各宾派执政、革命主要领导人让-保尔·马拉遇刺、 拿破仑在土伦战役大显身手登上历史舞台。
1793年
……错误—— ...mistake--
呃 错误 Uh, erreur.
法语有点生疏了 Bit out of practise at the French.
呃…… Um...
我会说英语 I speak English.
你听 Listen to that.
断头台刀铡落下的声音 The fall of the guillotine blade.
据说，被斩首的路易十六早年曾亲自参与断头台的设计，并将其改良，以减轻死刑犯的痛苦。
是不是很可怕？ Is it not terrible?
是的是的 砍掉那个可怜女人的头 太可怕了 Yes. Yes, cutting off that poor woman's head. Terrible.
那是皮埃尔在行刑 是个菜鸟 It is Pierre. An amateur.
他总是太早放开绳子 Always he let go of the rope too soon.
你很幸运 是我 让-克劳德 You are lucky that it is I, Jean-Claude,
将会把你这个叛徒的脑袋从肩膀上砍掉 who will remove your traitorous head from your shoulders.
你看 这一切都是一个可怕的错误 Look, this is all a terrible mistake.
- 我觉得你没明白—— - 我有一个好消息给你 -I don't think you understand-- -I have good news for you.
你是我手下 You are the 999th aristo
死在断头台上的第999个贵族 to die at the guillotine by my hand.
不过是第一个英国人 But the first English.
现在…… Now...
拜托 不要 Please. No.
让我灵肉分离 这是个可怕的错误 Dreadful mistake, discorporating me.
哦 那会是个彻底的噩梦 Oh, it'll be a complete nightmare.
真是禽兽 Animals.
禽兽不会用巧妙的机器 Animals don't kill each other
互相残杀 天使 with clever machines, angel.
只有人类才这么干 Only humans do that.
克鲁利 Crowley.
哦 天啊 Oh, good Lord.
你到底干了什么 What the deuce are you doing
被关在了巴士底狱？ locked up in the Bastille?
巴士底狱 始建于14世纪，建成初期作为军事城堡投入使用， 目的是防御百年战争中英格兰人的进攻。战争结束后于14世纪末 被改为王室监狱，专门关押政治犯；巴士底要塞于是成为 法国专制王朝的象征，也就有了后来“巴士底狱”的名字。
我以为你就是个开书店的 I thought you were opening a book shop.
我是啊 Well, I was.
可我有点饿 I got peckish.
“有点饿”？ "Peckish"?
如果你非得知道 我想吃可丽饼 Well, if you must know, it was the crepes.
只有在巴黎才能吃到最好的 You can't get decent ones anywhere but Paris.
还有奶油蛋卷 And the brioche.
所以你在革命期间穿过海峡 So you just popped across the Channel during a revolution,
就是因为你想咬点东西？ because you wanted something to nibble?
- 还穿成这样？ - 我有我的标准 -Dressed like that? -I have standards.
我听说这里事情有点失控但是—— I'd heard they were getting a bit carried away over here but--
是啊 这可不是失控了 Yeah, this is not getting carried away.
这是用大型砍头机器高效地 This is cutting off lots of people's heads very efficiently
砍掉人们的脑袋 with a big head-cutting machine.
你为什么不完成一个奇迹直接回家？ Why didn't you just perform another miracle and go home?
上个月我被批评了 I was reprimanded last month.
他们说我完成了太多琐碎的奇迹 They said I'd performed too many frivolous miracles.
从加百列那里得到了言辞激烈的提醒 Got a strongly worded note from Gabriel.
好吧 我就在附近是你走运 Well, you're lucky I was in the area.
我想是的 I suppose I am.
你为什么会在这？ Why are you here?
我的人赞扬我工作表现出色 My lot sent me a commendation for outstanding job performance.
所以这一切都是你的恶魔行径？ So all this is your demonic work?
不是 人类自己想出来的 No. The humans thought it up themselves.
和我没关系 Nothing to do with me.
我想我应该谢谢你 Well, I suppose I should say thank you
呃 来救我 for the, uh, rescue.
别这么说 Don't say that.
如果我的人听说我救了一个天使 If my people hear I rescued an angel,
我就会是陷入麻烦的那个 I'll be the one in trouble.
我们那群人可不会给我什么粗鲁的提醒 And my lot do not send rude notes.
无论如何 我很感激 Well, anyway, I'm very grateful.
如果我请你吃午饭呢？ What about if I buy you lunch?
穿成这样？ Looking like that?
这其实 几乎算不上是个奇迹 Well, barely counts as a miracle, really.
穿成那样 他是自找麻烦 Dressed like that, he's asking for trouble.
午饭吃什么？ What's for lunch?
来点可丽饼怎么样？ What would you say to some crepes?
伦敦 圣詹姆斯公园 1862年
听着 我在想 如果这一切都出错了呢？ Look, I've been thinking. What if it all goes wrong?
你和我 我们有很多共同点 We have a lot in common, you and me.
我哪知道 I don't know.
我们一开始或许都是天使 We may have both started off as angels,
但是你堕落了 but you are fallen.
我也不能说是堕落了吧 I didn't really fall.
我就是 你懂的…… I just, you know...
慢慢悠悠往下溜达 sauntered vaguely downwards.
我想让你帮个忙 I need a favour.
我们都达成过共识了 克鲁利 We already have the agreement, Crowley.
互不干涉彼此的行动 Stay out of each other's way.
不到必要时刻绝不互相帮忙 Lend a hand when needed.
这次不一样 This is something else,
万一出事了 吃不了我可不想兜着走 for if it all goes pear-shaped.
一说吃我又馋了 I like pears.
反正真要出问题了 If it all goes wrong,
我需要保险一点的后路 I want insurance.
什么后路 What?
写下来了 隔墙有耳 I wrote it down. Walls have ears.
哦 没有墙 树木有耳 Well, not walls. Trees have ears.
鸭子有耳 Ducks have ears.
鸭子是有耳朵的吧 Do ducks have ears?
肯定有 鸭子之间互相交流要靠耳朵啊 Must do. That's how they hear other ducks.
这忙我帮不了 Out of the question.
为什么？ Why not?
这东西会把你彻底摧毁的 It would destroy you.
我可不给你自杀药 克鲁利 I'm not bringing you a suicide pill, Crowley.
我不是要自己用 就是个保险 That's not what I want it for. Just insurance.
圣水
我不傻好吗 克鲁利 I'm not an idiot, Crowley.
你知道我得惹上多大麻烦么 如果我…… Do you know what trouble I'd be in if...
如果他们知道了我在结交敌人？ if they knew I'd been fraternising?
这个我说什么都不能给你 It's completely out of the question.
结交敌人？ Fraternising?
算了 咱们的交情你爱怎么叫怎么叫 Well, whatever you wish to call it.
我不认为关于你这个请求还有继续争论下去的必要性 I do not think there is any point in discussing it further.
我认识很多可以结交的人呢 天使 I have lots of other people to fraternise with, angel.
- 用你说啊 - 我可不需要你 -Of course you do. -I don't need you.
说得好像谁还需要你似的 明摆着的 Well, and the feeling is mutual, obviously.
明摆着的 Obviously.
伦敦
1941年
格洛齐尔先生 哈莫尼先生 Mr Glozier. Mr Harmony.
菲尔先生 你迟到了 Mr Fell. You are late.
不过别担心 But not to worry.
给元首的书带来了吗？ You have the books for the Fuehrer?
带了 Yes, I do.
多本预言书 Books of prophecy.
奥特维尔·宾斯 罗伯特·尼克松 谢顿嬷嬷 Otwell Binns, Robert Nixon, Mother Shipton.
奥特韦尔·宾斯（1872-1935），英国小说家、一神教牧师。 其小说作品多为冒险、神秘题材。 罗伯特·尼克松，英格兰预言家，可能出生于1467年。关于他的事迹， 不同来源互相冲突，此人是否真实存在过仍然存疑。 厄休拉·谢顿（约1488-1561）又称谢顿嬷嬷，英国预言家。 在她去世后80年，她的作品才第一次出版。
都按要求拿来了初版 First editions, as requested.
我们要的还有一本 What about the other book we told you to bring us?
元首明确说过他特别需要那一本 The Fuehrer was most definite that he needs it.
里边很多预言都已经成真了 It has the prophecies that are true.
有本真正的预言书在手 这场战争就离胜利不远了 With the true prophecy book, the war is as good as won.
《女巫艾格尼絲·風子的精良準確預言書》 The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch.
不幸的是 没有 我认为那是预言书类型中的圣杯了 No luck. I'm afraid that is the Holy Grail of prophetic books.
关于圣杯的传说有两个起源，一是亚瑟王传说， 二是最后的晚餐上，耶稣的门徒们用圣杯喝下 象征耶稣之血的葡萄酒，此圣物下落不明。 在西方文化中，“圣杯”通常指因具有重大意义 而受到追逐但又捉摸不定的物品或目标。
元首也确实想要圣杯的 The Fuehrer also wants the Holy Grail.
还有命运之矛 你就不帮着也追寻一下下落么？ And the Spear of Destiny, should you run across them.
命运之矛，耶稣基督被挂上十字架后刺向他肋部的长矛，现藏于奥地利维也纳霍夫堡宫帝国宝藏展厅。
为什么少了艾格尼丝·风子的著作？ Why are there no copies of Agnes Nutter's book?
我们说得很明确了 钱不是问题 We have made it clear that money is no object.
如约拿来我们就让你发大财 You will be a very rich man.
因为未售出的《女巫艾格尼絲·風子的精良準確預言書》 The unsold copies of The Nice and Accurate Prophecies
早就被出版方销毁了 were destroyed by the publisher,
我是说 全部销毁 which is, well, all of them.
一本都没能卖出去 It never sold a single copy.
但是我找到了出版方1655年的目录 But I found the publisher's catalogue for 1655,
上边收录了一条艾格尼丝·风子的预言 and it does list one of Agnes Nutter's prophecies.
说了什么？ What was it?
她对1972年的一则预言 Her prophecy for 1972.
“勿要購買彼塔馬克斯” "Do not buy Betamax."
Betamax 是索尼公司于1975推出的一种家用录像带格式， 但因市场竞争关系，80年代初该格式就被淘汰， 使用该格式的录像机成了摆设。
彼得·马克斯是谁？ Who is Peter Max?
完全没概念 I have no idea.
我会跟元首传达的 I will pass it on to the Fuehrer.
这几本预言书这个周末差不多 These volumes of prophecy will be in Berlin
就能送到柏林 by the end of the week.
元首会非常感激的 The Fuehrer will be most grateful.
你真是帮了大忙了 菲尔先生 You have been exceedingly helpful, Mr Fell.
真是遗憾 我们得就地处决你 但是你也别丧气 Such a pity you must be eliminated, but take heart,
就当是死于闪电战了呗 just another death in the Blitz.
Blitz 在德语中为“闪电”之意。闪电战是指二战初期 纳粹德国使用的一种轰炸机配合地面装甲部队进行迅速突击的战术， 该名词最早出现于1935年一本德国军事期刊， 1939年德国闪击波兰后，该名词开始被西方媒体广泛采用。 希特勒本人认为这是“一个极其愚蠢的词” （ein ganz blödsinniges Wort）。
这就不是很厚道了嘛 That's not very sporting.
你好像并不担心自己的死活啊 朋友 You do not appear worried, my friend.
他是不担心 He's not worried.
她是谁？ Who is she?
她啊 我熟识的双面纳粹间谍 She, my double-dealing Nazi acquaintance,
她会确保这批书籍送不回柏林 is the reason why none of those books are going back to Berlin,
也会把你们这些小间谍头子 and why your nasty little spy ring
都送进监狱度过余生 will be spending the rest of the war behind bars.
容我介绍一下 罗丝·蒙哥马利上尉 Let me introduce you to Captain Rose Montgomery
效力于英国军事情报处 of British Military Intelligence.
谢谢你的介绍 Thank you for the introduction.
我方对你们二人了如指掌 Our side know all about you two.
就是她招募了我来为你们工作 She recruited me to work for you.
现在她还会告诉你们这栋建筑 And now she's going to tell you that this building
已经被英国的特工们包围了 is surrounded by British agents,
而你们二位这就—— and that you two have been--
那句美国俏皮话怎么说的来着？ What is that lovely American expression?
耍戏给猴看了 Played for suckers.
- 嗯 这话—— - 好啦 各位！ -Yes, about that-- -Right. Everyone!
都现身吧！ Come on!
把他们包围起来！ Round them up!
罗丝 你的人到底去哪了？ Rose, where exactly are your people?
我们已经到了 We are all here.
容我介绍一下 Allow me to introduce
她的两个姓氏均化用自二战时期著名人物。 伯纳德·蒙哥马利子爵（1887-1976）， 英国陆军元帅，指挥过阿拉曼战役、 西西里登陆和市场花园行动， 并参与了诺曼底登陆的策划与指挥工作。 爱德华·克莱恩施密特（1879-1977）生于德国， 美国电报专家，是电传打字机的发明者， 二战时效力于美国情报部门。 克莱恩施密特是常见的德国姓氏， 意为“小铁匠”。 此外，格蕾塔也是常见德国女子名， 二战期间有一位名为格蕾塔·伯泽尔（1908-1947） 的护士就职于拉文斯布吕克集中营， 负责挑选进入毒气室的囚徒。 她有句名言“如果他们（指囚徒）不能工作，那就让他们烂掉”。 1947年，她在德国汉堡受审并被处决。
格蕾塔·克莱恩施密特小姐 Fraulein Greta Kleinschmidt.
她是为我们效力的 She works with us.
你成功愚弄了这个笨蛋书商
干得好嘛 亲爱的
不费吹灰之力 亲爱的
他可好骗了
“耍戏给猴看” 这话我可得记住了 "Played for a sucker". I must remember that.
我耍戏给猴看 你也耍戏给猴看 I am played for a sucker, you are played for a sucker,
他 她 它…… 早晚都要耍戏给猴看 he, she, it... will be played for a sucker.
呣 说到哪儿来着？ Now, where were we?
啊 对了 得杀了你 Oh, yes. Killing you.
别啊 You can't kill me.
我可不想写报告 There'll be paperwork.
现眼了 圣地烫脚 Sorry, consecrated ground.
啊！跟光脚踩海滩一样扎得慌 Oh! It's like being at the beach in bare feet.
你来干嘛？ What are you doing here?
免得你惹事生非 Stopping you getting into trouble.
我该猜到的 真是不意外 I should have known. Of course.
这些家伙是给你打下手的 These people are working for you.
屁 他们就是群半吊子纳粹间谍而已 No. They're a bunch of half-witted Nazi spies
在伦敦各处流窜 running around London,
敲诈勒索 滥杀无辜 blackmailing and murdering people.
我就是不想看到你丢脸罢了 I just didn't want to see you embarrassed.
安东尼·J·克鲁利先生 Mr Anthony J. Crowley.
久仰大名了 Your fame precedes you.
- 安东尼？ - 你不喜欢啊？ -Anthony? -You don't like it?
不是 没有 我哪说不喜欢了 我就是得适应一下 No, no, I didn't say that. I'll get used to it.
赫赫有名的克鲁利先生？ The famous Mr Crowley?
你俩就这么死了真是可惜呢 That's such a pity you must both die.
J是什么的缩写啊？ What does the "J" stand for?
就是个J而已 真的 It's just a "J", really.
瞧瞧那是什么！ Look at that!
满满一坛的圣水 A whole fontful of holy water.
都没有守卫看着嘿 It doesn't even have guards.
废话真多 赶紧处决了他俩 Enough babbling. Kill them both.
过不了一分钟 一架德军轰炸机就会扔出一枚炸弹 In about a minute, a German bomber will release a bomb
投掷到这里 that will land right here.
你们要是跑得够快呢 说不定还没捡回条命 If you all run away very, very fast, you might not die.
死一点不好玩 You won't enjoy dying,
尤其是死后要经受的各种折磨 definitely won't enjoy what comes after.
你觉得我们会信这鬼话啊？ You expect us to believe that?
今晚的轰炸目标是伦敦东区 The bombs tonight will fall on the East End.
是啊 改变轰炸地点的最终决定只需要我在最后一刻 Yes. It would take a last-minute demonic intervention
略施诡计干预一下 对吧 to throw them off course, yes.
你们一个个的都在浪费宝贵的逃命时间 You're all wasting your valuable running-away time.
而且30秒之后真要有炸弹掉下来 And if, in 30 seconds, a bomb does land here,
我和我朋友就要实打实地施展一个奇迹 才能死里逃生啊 it would take a real miracle for my friend and I to survive it.
实打实的奇迹？ A real miracle?
杀了他们 他俩真是烦死了 Kill them. They are very irritating.
你来救我真是太好了 That was very kind of you.
闭嘴吧你 Shut up.
实话实说嘛 Well, it was.
至少我不用上交一堆报告了 No paperwork, for a start.
啊 我的书 Oh, the books.
噢 我忘了抢救那几本书了 Oh, I forgot all the books!
唉 肯定都炸成…… Oh, they'll all be blown to...
我在最后一刻略施诡计了 Little demonic miracle of my own.
载你回家呗？ Lift home?
伦敦 苏活区
1967年
脏驴子
那 斯派克 你就是出大力的人了 So, Spike, you're the muscles,
你要一直拽着绳子 you'll be hauling on the ropes.
那她是顺着绳子飘下去的人咯？ And she'll be going down on the ropes then?
等一下 Hang on.
你是哪位？ Who are you?
俺听说侬需要个带队的 I understand you need a locksman.
我约见的是纳克先生 I was expecting Mr Narker.
嗯 纳克先生把这个机会让给俺了 Well, Mr Narker's passed on to his reward.
俺来接手他的活计 I've taken over the business.
他是俺室友 知道点啥都跟俺说 He was my cellmate. He taught me everything he knew.
俺叫沙德维尔 My name's Shadwell.
请坐 沙德维尔先生 Please, sit down, Mr Shadwell.
请叫俺一等兵沙德维尔 Lance Corporal Shadwell.
侬要是不介意的话 If you don't mind.
所以到底是什么这么珍贵 So, what's so valuable
有人会把它放在教堂里过夜保管 that they're going to leave it in a church at night?
具体你们要帮我偷什么 等到了教堂 We'll go over the details of what you're obtaining for me
我们再一一过一遍 when we get there.
你们的报酬少不了的 You will all be very well compensated.
有什么问题么 一等兵沙德维尔？ You have a question, Lance Corporal Shadwell?
去教堂偷东西 Stealing from a church.
这里边莫得巫术什么事儿吧 有莫？ There's nae witchcraft involved here, is there?
没有 No.
完全和巫术无关的偷窃计划 Completely witch-free robbery.
嚯 可惜嘹 Mm. Pity.
还有问题么 Any other questions?
侬不会就是个巫师吧 You are not yourself a witch,
术士啥的 给猫瞎起名的那号人？ warlock or someone that calls your cat funny names?
不是巫师 也不养宠物 还有问题吗？ Not a witch. No pets. Anyone else?
我们的报酬有多少？ What are we getting paid?
预付你们一百 A hundred now,
完事之后再给一百 another hundred when the job's done.
要是没闹出什么动静来 还能再多一百 A hundred more to keep schtum.
克鲁利先生！ Mr Crowley?
可以和侬唠几句不？ May I have a moment of your time?
行啊……一等兵沙德维尔 Yes... Lance Corporal Shadwell.
你是个哪门子一等兵呢？ What are you a lance corporal in?
你也不像个当过兵的 You don't look like an army man.
嗯 俺正要和侬 Well, that is precisely the matter upon which
唠唠这事 I planned to talk to you.
侬还记得今晚早些时候 You might remember earlier this evening,
俺问过一个关于巫术的尖锐问题 I asked a rather pointed question about witchcraft.
- 记得 - 嗯 俺可是某个庞大组织中 -Yes. -Well, I am a proud member
非常骄傲的一员 of an enormous organisation.
特庞大 Vast.
与巫师作斗争的秘密军团 A secret army that battles the forces of witchery.
您可真是个善人 How nice for you.
猎巫人军团 你莫准听说过嘞 The Witchfinder Army. Perhaps you've heard of it.
哈？你不说是秘密军团么 What? I thought you said it was secret.
这个吧 侬也说不好像侬这种体面人 Well, you never know when a gentleman such as yourself
说不定啥时候会需要这样的组织支援呢 might have need of such an organisation.
俺们可都以一顶十的好汉 A man with hundreds of pounds to throw around.
侬要是需要 If you need us,
猎巫军会随时待命 the Witchfinder Army are here for you.
一整只军队么？ A whole army?
考虑下咯 Think it over.
侬知道去哪儿找俺 You know where to find me.
脱衣舞
成人用品
你在这干吗？ What are you doing here?
我有话跟你说 I needed a word with you.
说什么？ What?
我在苏活区工作 我听说一些事 I work in Soho. I hear things.
我听说你集结了一群……不法之徒 I hear that you're setting up a... caper
准备打劫教堂 to rob a church.
克鲁利 那样太危险了 Crowley, it's too dangerous.
圣水杀死的不仅仅是你的肉身 Holy water won't just kill your body.
那是从里到外完全摧毁 It will destroy you completely.
您老105年前就跟我说过这些话了 You told me what you think 105 years ago.
而且我也并没有动摇过 And I haven't changed my mind.
但是你赌上性命我实在看不下去 But I can't have you risking your life.
这么危险的事物就更不用说了 Not even for something dangerous.
因此 So...
你把行动叫停吧 you can call off the robbery.
可别拧开盖啊 Don't go unscrewing the cap.
真的是圣水？ It's the real thing?
最圣洁的了 The holiest.
你说了那么一堆 还是给我了 After everything you said.
我该说谢谢么？ Should I say thank you?
别了吧 Better not.
那 要不要我载你去什么地方？ Well, can I drop you anywhere?
不用了 谢谢 No, thank you.
哎 别这么失望嘛 Oh, don't look so disappointed.
或许哪天咱们能…… Perhaps one day we could...
我也说不好 I don't know.
出去野餐一次 Go for a picnic.
或者去丽茨吃一顿 Dine at the Ritz.
我可以载你一程的 去哪都行 I'll give you a lift. Anywhere you want to go.
你车速太快了 我受不了 克鲁利 You go too fast for me, Crowley.
翻译 季叽馥疾己
翻译 堕天使雪诺
翻译 艾丽娅的缝衣针
校对 北落师门
时间轴&后期 依依Eva
压制 宽油竹鼠
监制 北落师门
策划 北落师门 & 临冬城的狮子
——————————
———
原著小说作者 特里·普拉切特 & 尼尔·盖曼
原著小说译者 马骁
好兆头
衣柜字幕组
第一季第三集
艰难时期 Hard Times
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抱歉 打对了！ Sorry. Right number.
暂停营业
我不过就是去总部把现在所有的问题解释一下 I'll just go to head office and explain it all.
对 那 加百列 嗯…… Yes. So, Gabriel, um...
听好 加百列 Listen, Gabriel,
星期五
最神圣的大天使加百—— most holy Archangel Gabr--
世界末日前一天
不行 这样太正式了 No, that's too formal.
你好 加百列 额滴老伙计 Hello, Gabriel, me old mate.
现在有个孩-孩-孩子我们必须处理掉 There is a-a-a child we have to deal with
然-然后万事万物就能回归正轨 and-and make everything OK again.
啊 上帝啊 Oh, God.
你好 加百利 Hello, Gabriel.
我觉得你应当了解一些情况 Just thought you ought to know
因为当初医院人员很不凑巧地搞混了两个婴儿 that due to an unfortunate mix-up in a hospital,
敌基督被安置给了错误的家庭 the Antichrist has been mislaid.
但是没关系 我已经找到他了 But it's alright, because I've found him.
他现在就住在英国一个叫做塔德菲尔德的村子里 He's living in the English village of Tadfield.
他的11岁生日就是…… And his 11th birthday was the start of...
呃 末日的开始 uh, the end of things.
我已经有他的地址了 所以我们只需要前去消灭他便是 I have his address, and so we just have to eliminate him now,
然后万事万物回归正轨 没错 then everything could still be OK, yeah.
他现在有一条很大只的地狱犬陪着他 He'll have an enormous Hell Hound with him.
应该不会难找 He won't be hard to spot.
假设地狱犬也有所期待的话 This wasn't, insofar as the Hell Hound
那现在的生活和 had had any expectations,
它想象中的末日来临前的日子 what he had imagined life would be like
狗狗 恶魔地狱犬及恐猫者
肯定是完全不一样的 in the last days before Armageddon.
形态塑造性格 Form shapes nature.
小型犬身上的某些 There are certain ways of behaviour
正常举动 appropriate to small dogs,
实际上是与生俱来的 which are in fact welded into the genes.
他让隔壁那只大肥橘猫吃了一惊 He'd surprised the huge ginger cat from next door,
然后试图以惯用的怒目而视把它吓成 and had attempted to reduce it to cowering jelly
一坨哆哆嗦嗦的果冻 by means of the usual glowing stare.
过去这招屡试不爽 It had always worked in the past.
狗狗希望能再进行一次更加深入的猫咪实验 Dog was looking forward to a further cat experiment,
亚当·扬 敌基督
包括围着它欢蹦乱跳 which would consist of jumping around
和激动地汪汪叫 and yapping excitedly at it.
我真不敢相信！ 真是信了邪！ I can't believe it! I can't believe it!
我的家族保管了三百五十年保管得好好的 Three hundred and fifty years my family kept it safe.
三百！五十年！ Three hundred and fifty years!
安娜丝玛·仪祁 实用神秘学家兼职业后人
我怎么这么傻！ So stupid!
快来 狗狗 Come on, Dog.
你好 你没事吧？需要帮忙吗？ Hello, are you OK? Can I help?
没事 I'm fine.
可是你都哭了 But you were crying.
我知道 I know.
你好啊 Hello.
这么说挺傻的 This is going to sound so stupid,
但是我丢了本书 把我生活节奏完全打乱了 but I lost my book and it all just got a bit much.
我可以帮你找找 I can help you look for it.
哦 你太贴心了 Oh, that's sweet of you.
那本书我家族保管了很多年了 It's been in my family for a long time.
我也写过一本书 I wrote a book once.
讲的是个海盗 他是个很有名的侦探 It was about this pirate who was a famous detective.
我敢说肯定比你丢的那本精彩多了 I bet it was a lot more exciting than any book you've lost.
尤其是太空船里的那一段 Especially the bit in the spaceship
恐龙出现 where the dinosaur comes out
跟牛仔们打了起来 and fights with the cowboys.
我敢打赌 我那本书准会让你高兴起来 I bet it'd cheer you up, my book.
我叫亚当 住在猪背巷 I'm Adam. I live in Hogback Lane.
谢了 亚当 Thanks, Adam.
哦 我叫安娜丝玛 Oh, I'm Anathema.
你住在附近么？ Are you from around here?
这里就是我的世界 This is my world.
从猪背林到大坑 From Hogback Wood to the Dip,
再从老采石场到池塘 and from the old quarry up to the pond.
你有没有见过两个男人 他们开一辆很大的黑色老爷车？ You haven't seen two men in a big black vintage car, have you?
他们把书偷走了？ Did they steal it?
职业偷书贼 Professional book thieves,
他们会开着车到处偷书 probably go around in their car stealing books.
不不不 他们不是有意的 No, no, no, they didn't mean to steal it.
你要来点柠檬汁吗？ Do you want some lemonade?
我们要闯进那间小屋 Are we going to have to break into the cottage
大战女巫吗？ and battle the witch for it?
那是我的小屋 That's my cottage.
我租的 I'm renting it.
请恕我冒昧问一句 Look, excuse me for asking,
如果这不算隐私的话 if it's not a personal question,
你是女巫吗？ but are you a witch?
不是 我是个神秘学者 No, I'm an occultist.
哦 那就没问题了 Oh, well, that's alright, then.
来啊 傻狗 Come on, you silly dog.
好几百年来 茉莉小屋的门上 There had been a horseshoe over the door
都挂着一个马蹄铁 of Jasmine Cottage for hundreds of years.
它能保护居民 对抗邪恶 至少人们是这么认为的 It protected the inhabitants from evil, or so they believed.
你可以让它待在花园里 You can just leave him in the garden.
不行 它要服从指令 No. He has to do everything he's told.
我爸说只有训练好了 它才能留下来 My father says I can only keep him if he's properly trained.
好了 狗狗 快进去 Now, Dog, go inside.
好孩子 也没那么难嘛 对吧？ Good boy. It wasn't that hard, was it?
地狱犬进入小屋 The Hell Hound entered the cottage
它的身上又有来自地狱的一部分被烧掉了 and a little bit more of Hell burned away.
牛顿·帕西法 工薪族兼职猎巫人二等兵
這頂帽子為 獵巫人少校 不可姦淫·帕西法 所有
严格来讲 Strictly speaking,
沙德维尔不是猎巫军的领导者 Shadwell doesn't run the Witchfinder Army.
根据沙德维尔手中的薪水册记录来看 According to Shadwell's pay ledgers,
这支部队由猎巫人将军史密斯统领 it is run by Witchfinder General Smith.
其下是猎巫人上校格林和琼斯 Under him are Witchfinder Colonels Green and Jones,
以及猎巫人少校杰克森 罗宾逊和史密斯 and Witchfinder Majors Jackson, Robinson and Smith.
此外 还有猎巫人少校平底锅 Then there are Witchfinder Majors Saucepan,
罐头 Tin,
已去世的牛奶瓶 Milkbottle, deceased,
和橱柜 and Cupboard,
这是因为沙德维尔有限的想象力 because Shadwell's limited imagination
到这里就开始枯竭了 had been beginning to struggle at this point.
旺兹沃思最好的咖啡馆
早餐
午餐
晚餐
沙德威尔 猎巫人中士
沙德维尔中士 Sergeant Shadwell.
克鲁利先生 Mr Crowley.
你看上去不错 You're looking well.
生活自律 Clean living.
令尊怎么样 And your father, how is he?
你长得很像他 你知道吗 You resemble him very much, you know.
大家都这么说 他很好 So they tell me. Yeah, he's well.
我准备了薪水册 I've prepared the ledger.
阁下 需要给这些人支付薪水了 The men need paying, Your Honour.
世风日下 猎巫人不好当 It's hard times for Witchfinders in today's degenerate age.
我不必过目了 That won't be necessary.
250英镑 Two hundred and fifty pounds.
我周六给你钱 I'll drop the money off for you on Saturday.
只收现金 要装在信封里 Only in cash, in an envelope.
我不接受刷卡 Don't take plastic.
你真让我吃惊 You astonish me.
那么…… So...
在牛津郡有个村子叫塔德菲尔德 There's a village called Tadfield, in Oxfordshire.
派你最好的人手过去 Send your best people down there.
我在寻找一个男孩 大概11岁 I'm looking for a boy. He's about 11.
我没有别的信息了 I don't have anything more than that.
但要寻找一切奇怪之处 But look for anything... strange.
这个 呃 男孩…… This, uh, boy...
他是巫师吗？ he's a witch?
有可能 Possibly.
不过得先找到他 对吧？ We'll have to find him first, won't we?
对 Aye.
我这边最好的探员 Well, my best operative,
要数猎巫人中士桌子 that would be Witchfinder Lieutenant Table.
一有消息就打给我 Call me if you find anything.
和猎巫中士辣椒 Witchfinder Sergeant Pepper.
我们家族全都拥有神秘力量 All my family have had occult powers,
好多代都是 going all the way back.
我们可以找到魔力射线 We can find ley lines.
好 魔力射线是什么？ Right. What's ley lines?
看不见的能量线 连结着蕴含能量的各处 Invisible lines of force linking places of power.
我身边围绕着这些看不见的能量线 Amazing there being all these invisible lines of force around
我却看不见 真神奇 and me not seeing them.
我们能看到气场 We can see auras.
那是什么？ And they are?
人周围的彩色光环 This coloured forcefield surrounding someone.
每个人都有 Everyone's got one.
我能根据气场的强度和颜色 And I can look at its strengths and colour
看出你现在的感觉 and tell you how you're feeling.
太厉害了 学校为什么不教我们这些？ That's brilliant. Why don't they teach us about them at school?
因为学校是国家用来压迫人的工具 Because school is a repressive tool of the state.
那我的气场是什么颜色的？ So, what colour's my aura then?
亚当 我看不见你的气场 Adam, I can't see your aura.
你说每个人都有气场 You said everybody's got one.
我不知道 亲爱的 I don't know, hon.
这是一门艺术 而非科学 It's an art, not a science.
那还有什么是学校不教我们的？ So, what else don't they teach us at school?
他们用棍棒打死小海豹 They're clubbing baby seals.
他们砍伐雨林 They're cutting down the rain forest
只为了有便宜的汉堡包吃 so you can get a cheap hamburger.
小心转基因食品 Watch out for genetically modified food.
更别提全球变暖了 Don't get me started on global warming.
……那是因为鲸鱼有巨大的大脑 And that's because whales have huge brains,
他们无缘无故猎杀鲸鱼 and they're hunting them for no reason.
核电站 Nuclear power stations.
核电站是垃圾 Nuclear power stations are rubbish.
没错！没错 就是垃圾 Yes! Yes, they are.
有次校外教学我们去了核电站 We went to one on a school trip,
那里连泡泡都没有 and there was nothing bubbling,
没有绿烟 and there wasn't any green smoke,
也没有人穿太空服 and there weren't anyone in those space suits.
-真没劲 -就是啊 -And it was so dull. -Well, yes,
我们需要废除核电站 but we need to get rid of them.
没有泡泡 活该被废除 Serves them right for not bubbling.
亚当 我得回去工作了 Adam, I have to get back to work.
不过如果你对这些事情感兴趣的话 But if you're interested in any of this stuff,
我这里有些旧杂志 I have some old magazines here.
你不想看的话也没关系 You don't have to read them if you don't want.
帅呆了 Wicked.
古老水下城市的新照片曝光
亚特兰蒂斯被发现了吗？
西藏密宗大师：真真假假
如果安娜丝玛能明白 It might have helped Anathema
她看不见亚当气场的简单原因 to understand what was going on,
也许会有助于她了解 if she understood the very simple reason
这究竟是怎么一回事 why she couldn't see Adam's aura.
这跟时代广场上的人们 It's for the same reason that people in Times Square
看不见美国是一样的道理 can't see America.
亚茨拉菲尔…… So, Aziraphale...
收到你的信息了 got your message.
你有重要情报吗？ Have you got something big?
加百列 天使长
请讲 Lay it on us.
什么？ I'm sorry?
发生什么事了？ What's happening?
乌列 天使长
好……那个…… OK, ahem, so...
米迦勒 天使长
是这样的…… Well, ahem...
圣德芬 天使长
关……关于敌基督 It's-- It's about the Antichrist.
怎么了？ Yes?
我认为…… I think that, um...
这也不是不可能 Well, it's not impossible,
在考虑过一切…… uh, considering all--
一切可能性之后 那个—— all the alternatives that the--
那边 the other side,
可能弄丢了他 might have lost track of him.
“那边”？ The "other side"?
弄丢了他？ Lost track of him?
他是美国大使的儿子 He's the sonof the U.S. ambassador.
一直接受监视 He's under constant surveillance.
那边正把他送去 The other side are currently transporting him
米吉多平原 to the plains of Megiddo.
显然那里是传统的世界末日起始点 Apparently, that's the traditional starting point.
中东动荡不安 一切都水到渠成 Middle Eastern unrest. Everything else just follows.
天启四骑士启程 The Four Horsemen ride out.
天堂和地狱间的最终大战 Last great battle between Heaven and Hell.
是的 那个…… Yes. Well, um...
恶魔克鲁利有可能…… it's possible that the demon, Crowley,
他是一个狡猾的对手…… a-a-a wily adversary...
我得说他总会让我提高警惕 Keeps me on my toes, I can tell you.
不过大使之子…… But the, um, ambassador's, uh, son, uh...
-有可能是个幌子 -幌子？ -Well, it may have been a ruse. -A ruse?
真正的敌基督可能…… And the actual Antichrist might be, um...
在别处 somewhere else.
在哪里？ Where?
不确定 Not sure.
我是说我……我可以找到他 I mean, I-I-I could find out.
我有一队……探员 I have a team of... agents.
很敬业的一群人 A dedicated team who--
可以去调查各种可能性 who would investigate the possibility.
嗯…… Um...
假如 hypothetically speaking,
果真如此的话…… if that were the case--
亚茨拉菲尔 这也不会改变任何事 It wouldn't change anything, Aziraphale.
地球被创造出来之前 There was war in Heaven
天堂早就爆发战争了 long before the Earth was created.
克鲁利和其他人被逐出天堂 Crowley and the rest were cast out,
但事情并未真正解决 but nothing was ever really settled.
看来是这样 I suppose it wasn't.
但不需要再开战了 对吧？ But there doesn't have to be another war, does there?
亚茨拉菲尔 虽然我们很感谢你的假设 As much as we appreciate your hypotheticals, Aziraphale,
恐怕我们还有其他事要做 I'm afraid we have other things to do.
毕竟地球不会自我毁灭 The Earth isn't going to just end itself, you know.
是不会 没错 No. Yes. Right.
你好 Hello.
我是R·P·泰勒 R.P. Tyler.
居民委员会的 Neighbourhood watch.
年轻人 我不禁注意到 I couldn't help but notice, young person,
你有一张地图 that you have a map.
你是在踩点吗？ Casing the joint, are we?
我 我租下了茉莉小屋 I'm-- I'm renting Jasmine Cottage.
天啊 你是美国游客 Oh, good Lord, you're an American tourist.
抱歉 我还以为你在寻摸什么东西 Sorry. Thought you were a person of interest.
哦我 我的确是的 Oh, I-- I am.
是这样 11年前 Listen, 11 years ago,
有东西来到这个村子 something came to this village.
某种野兽或生物 Some sort of beast or creature.
如果你是居民委员会的 And if you're neighbourhood watch,
也许注意到了 maybe you noticed.
塔德菲尔德是非常体面的村庄 Tadfield is a perfectly respectable village.
如果你是来这边抽大麻 If you're coming here to smoke your fatty spliffers
搞得神智不清的话 and bimble off to woo-woo land,
我建议你还是去别处吧 then I suggest that you go elsewhere.
比如回美国去 Like back to America.
“抽大麻”？ "Fatty spliffers"?
那你们觉得呢？ What did you think of that, then?
那个天使下凡太久了 That's an angel who's been down there too long.
我不信任他 I don't trust him.
是假设才怪 Hypotheticals, indeed.
牛津郡村庄再现白色圣诞节
不可思议 英格兰众多城镇中 唯有塔德菲尔德积雪将近八厘米
神奇的气候条件 让苹果树产量大增
埃拉·沃尔夫诺思 撰文及配图
喂？ Hello.
请找猎巫中士沙德威尔 Witchfinder Sergeant Shadwell, please.
或是他的某位军官也行 Or, um, one of his officers.
我这就去看他是否有空 I shall endeavour to see if he is available.
稍等 Hold on.
特蕾西夫人 放浪女人兼灵媒
喂嘿 沙德威尔先生 Coo-ee, Mr Shadwell.
你好 亲爱的 Oh, hello, dear.
你好 特蕾西夫人 Hello, Madame Tracy.
滚开 妓女 Away with you, harlot.
有位绅士打电话找你 There's a gentleman on the telephone for you.
听上去谈吐优雅 Sounds ever so refined.
周日我要买点好肝做给我俩吃 And I'll be getting a nice bit of liver for us for Sunday.
那我宁可与魔鬼打交道 I'd sooner sup with the devil.
如果你能把上周的盘子还给我 So if you could just give me the plates back from last week.
那就太好了 There's a love.
喂？ Aye?
沙德威尔中士 Sergeant Shadwell.
-我是 你-懂-的 -谁？ -It's you-know-who. -Who?
我啊 你的……赞助人 Me. Your, um, sponsor.
听着 你现在有可用的人手吗？ Listen, do you have any men free?
我需要他们探听点消息 I need them to poke about a bit.
探听？ Poke?
你要他们去哪儿打探？ Where exactly do you want them poking?
塔德菲尔德 Tadfield.
是牛津郡的一个小地方 It's a small town in Oxfordshire.
我需要你们去监视一个男孩 There's a boy I need placed under observation.
我 我需要知道他全天候的下落 I-I need to know where he is at all times.
我可以把他的地址给你 I can give you his address.
我会派最精良的小队过去 I'll put a squad of my best men onto it.
好极了 太感谢你了 Oh, good. Thank you so much.
对了 我早该问候一下猎巫人少校牛奶瓶 Oh, and I should have asked about Witchfinder Major Milkbottle.
听说他英年早逝 我深感遗憾 I was so sorry to hear of his untimely end.
我送了花 I sent flowers.
是的 很感谢你送的花 Aye, the flowers were appreciated.
以及多给他家人的20英镑 And so was the extra £20 for the family.
他是位英勇之人 He was a brave man.
听你说他过世的时候 我大吃一惊 Oh, I was flabbergasted when you told me how he died.
是啊 英勇之人 Aye. A brave man.
我下周会去书店 I'll be by the bookstore, um, next week
收取年费 to pick up your annual dues.
亲爱的朋友 请派精英部队去塔德菲尔德 Squad of best men to Tadfield, dear fellow.
我下达进一步指令之前 都让他们在那里待命 And keep them there until I give you more orders.
那个男孩叫做…… Now, the boy is called...
亚当·扬 Adam Young.
他的地址是塔德菲尔德猪背巷4号 And his address is number four, Hogback Lane, Tadfield.
记下来了吗？ Have you got it?
当然 阁下 Absolutely, Your Honour.
- 塔德菲尔德 我记住了 - 好 掰掰 -Tadfield it is. -Right. Pip-pip.
你的人手到位之后通知我一声 And let me know when your men are in position.
掰掰 Pip-pip.
好个南方娘炮 Great southern pansy.
找到巫师没啊 猎巫人二等兵帕西法 Find any witches yet, Witchfinder Private Pulsifer?
比巫师更好的发现 Even better than that.
我找到了更有意思的内容 I found something really interesting.
嗯 Hmm.
我发现了一些不同寻常的天气规律 I've discovered some unusual weather patterns.
牛津郡那边有个小镇 There's a town in Oxfordshire
那里的气候状况非常奇怪 with some very strange weather events.
哦？下血雨吗？ Oh? Raining blood?
还是下鱼雨？ Or raining fish?
夏日里让作物枯萎的诡异霜冻 Satanic frost in summer withering the crops
就因为有巫婆和农民吵了一架？ after some hag got into an argument with a farmer?
不是 只是…… No. It's just...
那里全年的天气都极其完美 it always has perfect weather for the time of year.
侬管介也叫现象？ You call that a phenomenon?
一年四季的正常天气那就是不正常 Normal weather for the time of year isn't normal.
干爽的秋季 炎热的八月长夏 Crisp autumns, long, hot Augusts.
那种小时候做梦都想遇到的天气 The kind of weather you used to dream of as a kid.
过去11年里每年的平安夜那里都会下雪 It's snowed there every Christmas Eve for the last 11 years.
俺莫兴趣 Not interested.
就找巫师和巫术造成的现象儿 Just look for witches and witch-caused phenomenon-enoms.
他自称“瑞文·塞布尔博士” He called himself "Dr Raven Sable",
字面意思“黑色渡鸦”
但你更熟悉他另一个名字 but you know him by another name.
荒
饥
他最爱饥饿 He loves hunger.
热衷于看到豪华餐厅里的人们食不果腹 He loves people not eating enough in fancy restaurants.
女士 这是您的主菜 Your main course, madam.
鸡肉蓉加少量西兰花果冻 Chicken froth on a reduction of broccoli gel
搭配蘑菇泡沫 with a mushroom foam.
主厨还推荐您首先享用这一道 And the chef recommends that you have this first.
一包薰衣草香的空气 A balloon filled with lavender-scented air.
这是头盘 It is the first course.
我才意识到 It just occurred to me.
我还从未见过这么一大屋子如此饥饿的富贵食客呢 I've never seen a room full of rich people so hungry before.
他经营着一家连锁快餐店 He's a businessman with a chain of restaurants.
汽车旅馆
汉堡大王
餐厅
现在他要有新品发布了 And he's about to launch something new.
嚼™：非食物饮食 Chow: Food-free food.
背景音乐：“猫王”埃尔维斯·普雷斯利《Hound Dog》
美国 爱荷华州
人工面包 人工汉堡肉 Artificial bun. Artificial burger.
没有一点土豆成分的薯条 Fries that have never seen a potato.
非食物蘸酱 Foodless sauces.
然后……我们一样非常值得骄傲的新品 And... we're rather proud of this:
纯人工莳萝味腌黄瓜 a completely artificial dill pickle.
这款奶昔当中绝不含任何真正的食物成分 The shake doesn't contain any actual food content either.
嗯 所有奶昔都不会含任何真正的食物成分 Well, nobody's shakes contain any actual food content.
来 试用一下吧 OK, let's try it out.
每次嚼™出餐的时候要按一下这个按钮 Press this button when you hand over the Chow.
不可以说这是“食物” 要叫“嚼™” And don't call it "food". It's Chow.
嚼™系列非食物餐饮 包含纺线 Chow-brand unfood contains spun,
编制成股的蛋白分子 plaited and woven protein molecules
专为无视您的消化酶设计 designed to be ignored by your digestive enzymes,
零卡甜味剂 代油脂 纤维物质 no-cal sweeteners, oil replacements, fibrous materials,
含染色剂与香精 嚼™为可食用代餐 colourings and flavourings. Chow is an edible substance
不可与食物相混淆 and must not be confused with food.
享用嚼™有助于您减重 脱发 肾功能衰竭 Eating Chow can help you to lose weight, hair and kidney functions.
还可能引起大便失禁 祝您用餐愉快 May cause anal leakage. Enjoy your meal.
收件人 塞布尔？ Party, name of Sable?
我就知道是您 I thought it was you.
我看了一圈 心想应该是那个“留了胡子穿着高档西装的高个绅士” I looked around, I thought, "Tall gent with a beard, nice suit."
您的包裹 请在这里签一下字 There's a package for you, sir. You have to sign for it.
有一则关于“猫王”埃尔维斯·普雷斯利 的都市传说，称他以早逝的方式成功退隐，在某餐馆做起了杂工。
一副天平 The measuring scales.
《圣经·新约》：揭开第三印的时候，我听见第三个活物说： “你来！”我就观看，见有一匹黑马！骑在马上的， 手里拿着天平。我听见在四活物中似乎有声音说： “一钱银子买一升麦子，一钱银子买三升大麦， 油和酒不可糟蹋。”（启示录6:5-6）
终于来了 Finally.
我得飞去英国 I'm flying to England.
我马上通知机场 您什么时候返航？ I'll let the jet know. When are you returning?
谁知道呢？ Who knows?
把我所有的预约都推掉 Cancel all my appointments.
推多久？ For how long?
可预见的未来 The foreseeable future.
嚼™
《猎巫人手册》 第二版 教学指南
沙德维尔中士 Sergeant Shadwell,
您还记得我提过的那个村子吧 you know the village I was telling you about
气候非常完美的那个 with the perfect weather?
嗯 根据手册上的说法 Well, according to the manual,
巫师是可以影响天气的 witches can influence the weather.
我是不是可以明天去那天转悠一圈 What if I was to sort of nip over there tomorrow,
稍微查看一下情况？ have a little look round?
油钱我自费 I could pay for my own petrol.
内个村子 不会刚好叫塔德菲尔德吧？ This village, it wouldn't be called Tadfield, would it?
您怎么知道的？ How did you know that?
嗬 Aye.
嗯 俺觉得去侦察一番也无妨 Well, I suppose it can't do any harm.
侬明早9点过来一趟 再出发 Be here at 9:00 in the morning, afore you leave.
过来做什么？ What for?
穿戴上侬主持正义的盔甲 Your armour of righteousness.
是我 It's me.
去第三约见地跟我碰下头 Meet me at the third alternative rendezvous.
是旧演奏台 19路公交车 Is that the old bandstand, the number 19 bus,
还是大英博物馆的咖啡厅？ or the British Museum café?
当然是演奏台！我15分钟后到 The bandstand! I'll be there in 15 minutes.
爸爸 你知道我们周围其实处处都是魔力射线么？ Dad, did you know that there are ley lines everywhere?
亚当 我不知道 魔力射线都是骗小孩的 No, Adam. Ley lines are rubbish.
亚瑟·扬
哦 迪尔德丽 你肯定爱看这段 Oh, you'll like this bit, Deirdre.
他们把枪粘在桌子底下了 They've taped the gun under the chair.
迪尔德丽·扬
才不是骗小孩的 It's not rubbish.
是的话就不会出版在杂志上了 They wouldn't write about it in magazines if it was rubbish.
还有挖地道的西藏人躲在隐秘的地道里 There's people from Tibet watching everything we do
监视着我们的一举一动 through hidden tunnels.
我觉得我还是去睡觉算了 I think I might go to bed early, actually.
你觉得他还好么？ Do you think he's alright?
他没事的 He's fine.
所以呢 Well?
- 有新动向么？ - 啊…… -Any news? -Um...
你想知道什么样的新动向？ What-what kind of news would that be?
我是说 你追踪到了失踪的敌基督姓甚名谁 Well, have you found the missing Antichrist's name,
家庭住址和鞋码了没？ address and shoe size yet?
他的鞋码？为——为什么我还要知道他的鞋码？ His shoe size? Why-- Why would I have his shoe size?
我逗你呢 我这边一无所获 It's a joke. I've got nothing either.
这就是神圣计划 克鲁利 It's the Great Plan, Crowley.
是哦 有句讲句 Yeah. For the record,
真是操他妈的 great pustulent mangled bollocks
稀烂狗屁神圣计划！ to the Great blasted Plan!
愿你得到宽恕 May you be forgiven.
我才得不到宽恕呢 I won't be forgiven.
永远都得不到 Not ever.
这是恶魔横行世界的一大特征 That's part of a demon's job description.
无可宽恕 这才是我 Unforgiveable. That's what I am.
你曾经是个天使 You were an angel once.
那都多久之前的事了 That was a long time ago.
我们一起找到那男孩 我的探子们能找到的 We find the boy. My agents can do it.
然后呢？ And then what?
我们把他消灭掉？ We eliminate him?
反正咱俩中的一个得动手 我个人是不想杀小孩的 Someone does. I'm not personally up for killing kids.
你才是恶魔 我是善的一方 You're the demon. I'm the nice one.
我可不能谋害儿童 I don't have to kill children.
- 你打住 - 如果你杀了他 -Uh-uh-uh... -If you kill him,
世界得以解放 then the world gets a reprieve
而天堂也不会双手染血 and Heaven does not have blood on its hands.
哦 是你不想双手染血吧？ Oh, no blood on your hands?
你还真是自命圣洁啊 That's a bit holier-than-thou, isn't it?
我还就是比你圣洁得多呢 这才是关键问题 I am a great deal holier than thou. That's the whole point.
你得自己动手杀了那孩子 You should kill the boy yourself.
用点圣洁的手段 Holi-ly.
我不会杀人的 I am not killing anybody.
真是可笑 你太可笑了 This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous.
我真是不懂为什么自己还在跟你说话 I don't even know why I'm still talking to you.
- 是的 坦率讲 我也不懂 - 够了 我走了 -Well, frankly, neither do I. -Enough, I'm leaving.
你不能就这么走了 克鲁利 You can't leave, Crowley.
你能去哪啊 There isn't anywhere to go.
这么大一个宇宙 It's a big universe.
即使这个世界最终变成了一锅滚烫的浓汤 Even if this all ends up in a puddle of burning goo,
我们也能一起逃跑 we can go off together.
一起逃跑？ Go off together?
听听你这说的什么话 Listen to yourself.
咱俩这朋友当了有多久了？ How long have we been friends?
都六千年啦！ Six thousand years!
朋友？我们可不是朋友 Friends? We're not friends.
我们是天使和恶魔 We are an angel and a demon.
咱俩一点共同点都没有 We have nothing whatsoever in common.
- 我根本就不喜欢你 - 拉倒吧 -I don't even like you. -You do.
我就算知道敌基督身在何处 Even if I did know where the Antichrist was,
我也不会告诉你的 我们站在相反的立场上 I wouldn't tell you. We're on opposite sides.
我们明明有自己的立场 We're on our side.
那还有什么“自己的立场” 克鲁利 There is no "our side", Crowley.
不存在了 Not anymore.
到此为止吧 It's over.
好啊 Right.
那么 那就…… Well, then...
祝你末日快乐咯 Have a nice doomsday.
真是绝了 Brilliant.
《新水瓶座》
总第4097期
3.20美元
核能？
算了吧！
我们能把地球变成
无核区吗？！
你可以做到的 You can do it.
末日已近 It's getting closer.
地狱渐强 It's getting stronger.
- 这就比较—— - 不能够的事 - That's a bit-- - Impossible.
这是在逗我么？ Is this a joke?
就在刚刚有240兆瓦的电量 240 megawatts of power
由这个发电站输出 埃瑞克 are currently being produced by this power station, Eric.
可是 根据我们的仪表读数 It's just, according to our indicators,
电力是凭空输出的 nothing's producing them.
什么叫我必须进行授权 What do you mean I have to authorise it?
就没别人了么？ Is there anyone else?
我知道我是能源部大臣 I know I'm the minister.
嗯 那行吧 Well, then, yes.
我授权你们把那个狗屁阀门打开 I authorise you to open the bloody thing up.
哦 Oh.
还真是难得一见的奇景了 There's something you don't see every day.
偌大个核燃料仓 里边连个反应堆都没有 An enormous room without a nuclear reactor in it.
可是……这完全空了啊 But... there's nothing there.
也不是完全 头儿 Not nothing, chief.
好像有颗柠檬果露糖 It looks like a sherbet lemon.
修正一切 终结一切 Mend it all. End it all.
终结一切 End it all.
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