亚马逊出品
衣柜字幕组 诚意奉献
伦敦 苏活区
星期四
距世界末日还有两天
请问有什么可以帮到您？ Can I help you?
我想购买一个这种有形物体 I would like to purchase one of your material objects.
- 书 - 一本书 -Books. -Books.
亚茨拉菲尔 权天使 兼职书商
我们不妨到一个私密的地方讨论这笔交易 Let us discuss my purchase in a private place,
加百列 天使长
因为我想买的是 呃…… because I am buying, uh...
色情文学？ Pornography?
色情文学 Pornography.
加百列 来后面的屋子吧 Gabriel, come into my back room.
我们人类特别容易尴尬 We humans are extremely easily embarrassed.
我们得悄咪咪地买色情图书 We must buy our pornography secretively.
人类真是太单纯…… Human beings are so simple...
比顿夫人的 家政料理
太好骗了 and so easily fooled.
是啊是啊 Yes.
咳 干得漂亮 你——你骗过了他们所有人 Ahem, good job. You-- You fooled them all.
还记得圣德芬吗？ You remember Sandalphon?
圣德芬：基督教神学体系中的天使长，身材极其高大。
呃……所多玛和蛾摩拉就是你干的吧 Uh... Sodom and Gomorrah.
根据《圣经·旧约》，耶和华因为 所多玛与蛾摩拉的罪恶，要毁灭两城， 亚伯拉罕向他求情，耶和华提出， 若在城中能找到十个义人， 他就收回成命。结果， 耶和华所派的两位天使一去，所见义人， 唯有罗得一家，天使告诉罗得 到山上避难，逃难时切不可回头看。 罗得的妻不遵神谕回头看了一眼， 化作盐柱。《古兰经》中亦有类似记载。
你毁了不少东西 You were doing a lot of smiting
还把人都变成了盐 and turning people into salt.
印象深刻 Hard to forget.
这里闻起来有点……邪恶 Something smells...evil.
杰弗里·阿彻（1940年-），英国政治家、作家， 1992年被封为终身贵族滨海韦斯顿男爵。 1985年，他被撒切尔夫人任命为保守党副主席， 次年因招妓丑闻而被迫退休。 1987年，阿彻控告《每日星报》在报道其 招妓丑闻时有不实报道，并胜诉。 1999年，阿彻好友声称自己在其要求下 在1987年的审判中作了伪证。 2001年，阿彻因伪证罪被判入狱。
哦 那恐怕是杰弗里·阿彻的书 Oh, that'll be the Jeffrey Archer books, I'm afraid.
其实 我们就是顺路过来 Well, we just wanted to stop by
查看一下敌基督的近况 and check on the status of the Antichrist.
怎么？出什么问题了？ Why? What's wrong?
我——我是说 如果有什么问题 I-- I mean, if there is something wrong,
我可以让我的人去处理 I could put my people onto it.
没有问题 一切都很完美 Nothing's wrong. Everything's going perfectly.
发生了很多事 都是好事 There's a lot happening. All good.
都是好事？ All good?
嗯 一切都按神圣计划进行着 Well, all going according to the Divine Plan.
地狱犬已经被放了出来 The Hell Hound has been set loose,
现在天启四骑士也被召唤了 and now the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are being summoned.
天启四骑士 本为死亡、战争、饥荒、瘟疫，工业时代以后，瘟疫被污染所取代。
死亡 污染 饥荒 战争 Death, Pollution, Famine, War.
好吧 Right.
是谁召唤的他们呢？ Who exactly summons them?
不是我们部门的 Not my department.
那种事我们肯定都外包了 I believe we outsource that sort of thing.
要我说 也是时候了 About time, that's what I say.
战争里怎么能没有战争骑士呢 You can't have a war without War.
圣德芬 这句妙啊 Sandalphon, that is very good.
战争里怎么能没有战争骑士 You can't have a war without War.
我没准会用到这句呢 是吧？ I might use that. Huh?
不管怎样…… Anyway...
没问题吧？恶魔地狱犬怎么样了？ no problems? How was the Hell Hound?
我——我没留下仔细看 I-- I didn't stick around to see.
多谢你的色情图书！ Thank you for my pornography!
干得很棒 Excellent job.
“战争里怎么能没有战争骑士” "You can't have a war without War."
太妙了 Clever.
克鲁利 堕天使
欢迎回来 现在 政府的外交发言人 Welcome back. Now, the government's foreign affairs spokesman
将会对近期国际上日渐紧张的局势 will be here to comment on the recent increase
作出回应 in international tensions.
不过首先 你知道你的冰箱里都有什么吗？ But first, do you know what's in your fridge?
早上好 克鲁利 Morning, Crowley.
就过来看看 Just checking in.
哈斯塔 堕天使 地狱公爵
利古尔 堕天使 地狱公爵
椅子不错 Nice chair.
嗨 伙计们 Hey, guys.
我们是来问问敌基督的事 It's about the Antichrist.
对 很棒的小孩 随爸爸 Yeah. Great kid. Takes after his dad.
我们在国务院的线人 Our operatives in the State Department
已经安排那小孩的一家人 have arranged for the child's family
飞往中东 to be flown to the Middle East.
在那里 他和恶魔地狱犬 There, he and the Hell Hound
会被带到米吉多山谷 will be taken to the Valley of Megiddo.
米吉多位于以色列，处于三大洲交汇的十字路口，是人类历史上最早的定居点之一。 在基督教的神话体系中，米吉多正是善恶之间最终对决（末日大战）的战场。 末日大战的战场“哈米吉多顿”（Armageddon）的词源便是米吉多。
四骑士将会开启他们的终极征途 The Four Horsemen will begin their final ride.
- 耶 - 末日之战就要开始 -Yay. -Armageddon will begin.
最后一战 The final combat.
自从反叛以来 我们一直致力于这一战 It's what we've been working towards since we rebelled.
我们是堕天使 We are the fallen.
别忘了你的身份 Never forget that.
这也不是那种说忘就忘的事啊 Well, it's not the sort of thing you forget.
我不信任你 克鲁利 I don't trust you, Crowley.
事情都好着呢 Everything's going just fine.
我又不是有意堕落的 I didn't mean to fall.
只是和错误的人一起混了 I just hung around the wrong people.
得有个人去召唤 Somebody has to summon
天启四骑士 the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
不过现在他们把这种事都外包了 But they outsource that sort of thing these days.
认识一下召唤者吧 Meet the Summoner.
他需要送达车里的四个物品 He has four items to deliver in his van.
他为国际快运公司工作 He works for the International Express Company.
他即将在一个曾经的战场完成第一次运送 And he's about to make his first delivery in a former war zone.
有时候 不管怎样 和平会突然到来 Sometimes, despite everything, peace breaks out.
北非 某无主之地
人们厌倦了打仗 痛苦和死亡 People get tired of fighting, and pain, and death,
都愿意重新开始 and are willing to start all over again.
不好意思 你是谁？ Excuse me, who are you?
卡麦恩·朱伊季勃 国民世界周刊的 Carmine Zingiber. National World Weekly.
Zingiber：本意是“姜”。
战地记者 War correspondent.
这是好事啊 我的朋友 Well, this is good, my friend.
有国际媒体的记者在场 It is good that a member of the world press is here
见证我们签署和平协议是件好事 to see us sign the peace accord.
好的 陛下 请您先签名 Right, well, if you'd like to sign this first, Your Highness,
然后是总理 接着是最高领袖 and then the Prime Minister, then the Supreme Leader,
最后再给您三位合个影 then we'll get a photograph of all three of you together.
等等 他先签？ Wait. He signs first?
谁先签只是个走个形式嘛 It is just a formality who signs first.
走个形式？你让我成了国内民众的笑柄 A formality? You make me a laughingstock in my country,
然后你说这是走个形式？ and you call that a formality?
总得有人先签这个和平协议吧 Somebody has to sign the peace agreement first.
的确 那就我先签 They do, and it's me.
哦 别管我 女士们先生们 Oh, don't mind me, ladies and gents.
哦 天气不错啊 是吧？ Oh, what a day, eh?
差点没找到这地方 Nearly didn't find the place.
有些人就是不相信路标 对吧？ Someone doesn't believe in signposts, eh?
是您的包裹 小姐 Package for you, miss.
您 呃……需要您在这签收 You, uh...you have to sign for it.
这个地方真的挺好 Well, it's a lovely place you got here.
真的 我一直都想来这里度假 Yeah, I always wanted to come here on my holidays.
- 终于啊 - 把剑放下 -Finally. -Put it down.
哦 你个小可爱 Oh, you sweet thing.
那怎么可能呢？ That's not gonna happen, is it?
抱歉啦 伙计们 Sorry, folks.
真希望能留下来跟你们好好认识认识…… I'd love to stay and get to know you all better...
可惜公务在身 but duty calls.
她是四骑士之首 She's the first of four.
战争里可不能少了她 And you can't have a war without her.
她很长一段时间里都在想法杀时间 She's been killing time for so long now.
杀时间 有时也杀人 Time, and sometimes people.
现在 60个世纪的等待即将结束 And now, 60 centuries of waiting are about to end.
翻译 美少年
翻译 艾丽娅的缝衣针
翻译 季叽馥疾己
翻译 堕天使雪诺
校对 北落师门
时间轴&后期 依依Eva
压制 宽油竹鼠
监制 北落师门
策划 北落师门 & 临冬城的狮子
——————————
———
原著小说作者 特里·普拉切特 & 尼尔·盖曼
原著小说译者 马骁
好兆头
衣柜字幕组
第一季第二集
书 The Book
欢迎到喜马拉雅/网易云音乐/蜻蜓FM/企鹅FM 关注我们的《右舷电台》
这也是一个关于一位女巫 This is also the story of a witch,
一个猎巫人和一本书的故事 a Witchfinder, and a book.
这个故事开始于约360年前 And that story starts about 360 years ago,
英格兰 兰开夏
1656年
那是英格兰最后一次对女巫施用火刑 with the last witch burning in England.
猎巫人少校帕西法 都准备好了 Witchfinder Major Pulsifer, all is prepared.
那女巫在哪？ Where is the hag?
在她的小屋里 她没起疑心 In her cottage. She suspects nothing.
我以为你已经用别针测过了 I thought you'd tested her with a pin.
我们测了 用的是猎巫人配发的别针 We did. Regulation-issue Witchfinder's pin.
- 把她扎了个遍 - 结果呢？ -Pricked her all over. -And what was the result?
她说治好了她的关节炎 She said it cured her arthritis.
嗯 Hmm.
还有什么其它指控？ Of what else is she accused?
预测未来 基本上是吧 Predicting the future, mostly.
她告诉布尔科克女士 She told Mistress Bulcock
一个叫“奸淫”的人将会来到小镇上 that Adultery would be coming to town.
真是胡扯 Such nonsense.
说的是你吧？ That's you, isn't it?
不是我 It's not me.
猎巫人二等兵马格斯 我的名字 My given name, Witchfinder Private Maggs,
是不可奸淫 is Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery.
不过你可以叫我“猎巫人少校帕西法” But you can call me "Witchfinder Major Pulsifer".
所以你不叫“奸淫·帕西法”？ So they don't call you "Adultery Pulsifer"?
当然不 They do not.
善良的送奶工…… Good milkman...
不用再送牛奶了 bring no more milk,
从今以后都不用了 not this day or ever,
因为我将要在今天死于火焰中 for today I am to die in flames.
你的 艾格尼丝·风子 Yours, Agnes Nutter.
附注：转达我对你妻子最好的祝福 P.S. My best wishes to your wife.
女巫！女巫！ Witch! Witch!
他们来晚了 They're late.
我听说 即便没人追她 She runs, I have heard tell,
她也会跑步 with no one pursuing her.
对 她说每天 Aye. She says running each morning
以一种不淑女的方式绕着村庄跑步 in an unladylike manner around the village
有助于健康 doth improve her health.
真是怪胎 Monstrous.
或许她跑步时有看不见的恶魔在追逐这女巫 Perhaps invisible demons pursue the witch as she runs.
不是的 她说这对人有利 No, she says it's good for you.
她还说我们应该多吃粗粮 She said we should get more fibre in our diet.
我告诉她 我说 往外拣碎石头太难了 I told her, I said, it's hard enough picking out the gravel.
是的 她一定是疯了 Aye, she is obviously mad.
但我们如何确定她是个女巫？ But how can we be certain she is a witch?
她治好了我的痘疹 She cured me of the howling pox.
还治好了我儿子的痢疾 And cured my son of the bloody flux.
很显然 是个女巫 Obviously, a witch.
女巫 Witch.
奸淫·帕西法…… Adultery Pulsifer...
还有善良的人们 good people,
你們真磨蹭 thou art tardy.
我10分钟前就该被点着了 I should have been aflame 10 minutes since.
好吧 Right.
风子女士？ Mistress Nutter?
- 嘿！ - 嘿！ - Hey! - Hey!
喂！ Oi!
这可真不寻常 风子女士 This is most irregular, Mistress Nutter.
都靠近點 善良的人們 Gather thee right close, good people.
聚攏過來 直到火焰灼傷汝等 Come close until the fire near scorch ye,
因我要汝等見證 for I charge ye that all must see
英格蘭最後一位女巫之死 how the last true witch in England dies.
讓我的死成為傳達給世界的一個信息 And let my death be a message to the world.
来吧 Come.
来吧 我說 聚攏過來 Come. Gather thee close, I say.
好好記住胡亂插手未解之事者 And mark well the fate of those who meddle
會有何等下場 with such as they do not understand.
哦 该死 Oh, bugger.
这顶帽子属于猎巫人少校不可奸淫·帕西法
下一个村子的人们 Among the folk from the next village,
随后都在讨论着 there was much subsequent debate
这个灾难到底是由上帝还是由撒旦带来的 as to whether this disaster had been sent by God or by Satan.
然而 在艾格尼丝的小屋中找到的一个纸条 However, a note found in Agnes' cottage
说明了无论神圣或是邪恶的干预 suggested that any divine or devilish intervention
都得靠艾格尼丝的裙子才能真正实施 had been materially helped by Agnes' petticoats,
她在裙子里藏了50磅火药 in which she had concealed 50 pounds of gunpowder
和30磅钉子 and 30 pounds of roofing nails.
哦 该死 Oh, bugger.
艾格尼丝还留下了一个盒子和一本书 Agnes also left behind a box and a book.
给她的女儿和女婿 They were to be given to her daughter and her son-in-law,
约翰和美德·仪祁 John and Virtue Device.
“亲爱的风子女士 "Dear Mistress Nutter,
我们非常乐意包装 we take great pleasure in enclosing
您的书籍的手稿 your author's copy of your book.
我们相信这本书会大卖 We trust it will sell in huge numbers,
是的 甚至可能还会二次印刷 yea, and be reprinted even unto a second printing.
您的 比尔顿和斯卡格斯 出版商” Yours, Bilton and Scaggs, publishers."
《女巫艾格尼丝·风子的精良准确预言书》 The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter.
“让人想到鼎盛时期的诺查丹玛斯” "Reminiscent of Nostradamus at his best."
诺查丹玛斯（1503-1566），法国预言家、医生， 其代表作为四行体诗写成的《预言集》（Les Propheties）。 其支持者从中发现了不少对后世事件的准确预言， 如1666年伦敦大火，法国大革命，两次世界大战 （包括两枚原子弹将摧毁广岛和长崎）， 以及拿破仑、希特勒和唐纳德·特朗普的崛起。
厄休拉·谢顿（约1488-1561）又称谢顿嬷嬷，英国预言家。在她去世后80年，她的作品才第一次出版。
——厄休拉·谢顿 Ursula Shipton.
这是什么意思啊 约翰？ What does this mean, John?
这意味着 美德 尽管艾格尼丝已经死了 It means, Virtue, that even though Agnes is dead,
我们也必须研究她的书 we must study her book.
因为你妈妈知道未来 For your mother knew the future.
“第2214則預言 "Prophecy 2,214.
在1980年12月 In December 1980,
一個不能吃的蘋果將會出現 an Apple will arise no man can eat.
投資喬布斯大師的機器吧 Invest thy money in Master Jobbes's machine,
這筆財富將會保你生活無憂” and good fortune will tend thy days."
嗨 我说 这就是胡言乱语 Oh, I mean, this is balderdash.
艾格尼丝留给她的这本书 The book Agnes left behind her
是整个人类历史上 唯一一本 was the sole prophetic work in all of human history
对接下来350多年的发展进行了完全正确的预测 to consist entirely of completely correct predictions
加利福尼亚 马里布
的预言书籍 concerning the following 350-odd years.
11年前
它对末日之战达到高潮之前的一系列事件 Being a precise and accurate description
同样作出了细致而准确的描述 of the events that would culminate in Armageddon.
每个细节都毫无偏差 It was on the money in every single detail.
敌基督降生的那一晚 在马里布的一处住宅中 On the night the Antichrist was born, in a house in Malibu,
艾格尼丝·风子的曾曾曾曾曾外孙女 Agnes Nutter's great-great-great-great-great granddaughter
正在预言书的扉页上涂鸦 was drawing on the title page.
形象地讲 她人生这本“大书”就这样被翻开了 And, metaphorically, the book had just begun to tick.
好了 安娜丝玛 背一下第2214条预言 Okay, Anathema. Prophecy 2,214.
“安娜丝玛”的英语原意是“诅咒”、“革出教会”。
“在1980年12月 "In December 1980,
一個不能吃的蘋果將會出現” an Apple will arise that no man can eat."
这条也太傻了 妈妈 什么事情都没说清楚 That one's stupid, Mom. It doesn't mean anything.
我母亲1980年从苹果公司购买了五千股 My mom bought 5,000 shares in Apple in 1980.
如今市值已经有四千万美元了 That's worth $40 million today.
然后是第2213条 Okay, 2,213.
诡异的天气？
天启四骑士？
“四者將騎行而來 三者騎行在天 二者亦如此 "Four shall ride, and three shall ride the sky as two,
一者騎行在焰 and one shall ride in flames,
其勢無物可當 and there shall be no stopping them.
無魚 無雨 惡魔束手 天使亦然 Not fish, nor rain, neither devil or angel.
汝亦現身于斯 安娜絲瑪 And ye shall be there also, Anathema."
看见没？ You see?
她给你安排了很特别的计划啊 亲爱的 She's got special plans for you, mi amor.
艾格尼丝给我们的任务很简单 Agnes gave us the easy job.
我们只需要确保所有的事情都对家族有益就行 We just had to make sure everything was good for the family.
你命中注定要拯救世界 You're the one that's going to have to save the world.
而与此同时 在萨里郡多尔金 Meanwhile, in Dorking, Surrey,
不可奸淫·帕西法的 Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery Pulsifer's
曾曾曾曾曾孙子 great-great-great-great-great grandson
几个小时以前就应该上床睡觉了 should have been in bed hours ago.
牛顿？ Newton?
你早该睡了 亲爱的 It's after your bedtime, dear.
再等一会 妈妈 Just a few more minutes, Mum.
我在修电脑呢 I'm putting the old computer back together.
你个小科学天才又在做实验了 You young scientists and your experiments.
也不算是实验吧 妈妈 It's not really an experiment, Mum.
我就换一下插头 I just changed the plug.
好了 It'll work now.
真希望电力公司的人不要再发那么大火了 I do hope the man from the electric isn't going to be upset again.
- 真是不合理 - 宝贝别担心 -It's not fair. -Oh, don't worry, love.
这要赶上世界末日那才叫不合常理呢 It's not as if it's the end of the world.
现在
迪克·图平
迪克·图平（1705-1739），英国著名路匪。
我就想说 祝你新工作顺利啦 I just wanted to say, well, good luck on the new job.
希望这次你能在新公司留下去 I hope it works out this time.
- 我敢肯定没事的，妈妈 - 你这孩子老是不走运 -I'm sure it'll be fine, Mum. -You've just been unlucky.
我给你做了三明治 I made you sandwiches.
你是？ And you are?
牛顿·帕西法 负责薪资结算 Newton Pulsifer. Wages clerk.
新来的 I'm new.
抱歉 我想问一下 Excuse me, I was just wondering,
有没有什么办法我不用把文件打在电脑里的？ is there a way that I could do this without putting it in the computer?
你是想问怎么才能既进到薪资数据库里…… Is there a way of accessing the wages database...
又不需要用到电脑么？ without using a computer?
或者有谁可以帮我打印出来吗？ Or maybe someone could print it out for me,
这样我可以笔头做整理 and then I could do the sums on paper.
注意啦 大家谁对战斗训练有兴趣的？ Okay, who's excited by the training initiative?
举手我看一下 好吗？ Let's see some hands. Yeah?
我就跟你说一下 诺曼 Just so that you know, Norman,
我刚刚在人事部门投诉了 I've registered a complaint with HR
你这个所谓战斗训练的馊主意 about this whole training initiative nonsense.
这就是个团建活动 珍妮丝 It's a team-building exercise, Janice.
而且我也跟你说一声哈 And, um, just so as you know,
团队里可没有“我”这一说 懂吗？ there's no "I" in "team", yeah?
但是建设需要的是“我们俩” 奈杰尔 But there's two "I's" in "building", Nigel.
训练“我”也一定会参加的 And an "I" in "exercise".
行了 就这样吧 Yeah. Alright.
那个 可以所有人都注意听一下么？ So, can I have everybody's attention, please?
抱歉 我就再摁一下回车键就接着听您说 Sorry, I've just got to hit return and I'll be with you.
- 呃！ - 诶呀 - Oh! - Uh-oh.
不好意思 我跟电脑不太对付 Sorry, just not very good with computers.
要帮把手吗 迪克？ Need a hand, Dick?
迪克·图平
其实不是我叫迪克 那是我车的名字 My name's not actually Dick. It's the car's name.
最大承重15公斤
你要想知道缘由的话我可以告诉你 You can ask me why, if you like.
英国边检
您好 Hello.
“阿撒尼玛·仪祁？” "Athaneema Device"?
安娜丝玛·仪祁 很古老的姓氏了 Anathema Device. It's an old family name.
拜访英国的目的？ Purpose of your visit to the United Kingdom?
嗯 我应家族预言要求 Well, I'm commanded by an ancient family prophecy.
要用尽我所能支配的所有智慧和巫术 I'm going to use all the wisdom and witchcraft at my disposal
来追查黑暗之心的下落 to hunt down the heart of darkness,
并尽我所能去摧毁它 and then do all that I can to destroy it
以防它把这世界引向灭亡 before it brings about the end of the world.
什么？ I'm sorry?
来度假 Vacation.
嗨 妈妈 Hello, Mum.
新工作？ The new job?
嗯 还挺顺利的 Yeah, it's going really well.
同事们都特好 They're great.
- 可喜欢我了 - ……他们就是从侬的鼻子眼底下飘过去侬也发现不了 - They love me. -……Walk past them with your noses in the air.
先挂了 妈妈 Bye, Mum.
俺们需要畏惧的只有一件事 侬这些小娘炮 There's only one thing we have to fear, you sissies,
不是什么全球变暖 也不是什么核末日危机 and it's not global warming, and it's not nuclear Armageddon.
巫术所致的作物 枯萎病/邪恶的凝视/ 裸舞（尤其令人深恶 痛绝）/崇拜恶魔/ 有太多乳头/给猫咪 起奇怪的名
有谁说的上来吗？ Can anyone here tell me what it is?
哈！侬说不上来 Ha! You don't answer.
侬说不上来 说明侬知道俺讲了实话 You don't answer, because you know it's true.
他们藏身在人群之中 They are hidden in our midst.
而俺就是画在人性与黑暗之间的那条红线 I'm the thin red line that stands between humanity and the darkness.
- 没错 俺说的就是—— - 巫师？ -Yea, I'm talking about-- -Witches?
是咯 巫师 Aye, witches.
他们潜伏在正义的背后 They lurk behind a facade of righteousness.
莫得人阻挡得了他们 And there's naebody can stop them...
除了俺 but me.
过去啊 猎巫人可受尊敬咯 In the old days, Witchfinders were respected.
马太·霍普金斯 猎巫人将军 Matthew Hopkins, Witchfinder General...
马太·霍普金斯（约1620-1647），著名英国女巫猎人，主要在英格兰东部活动。
……从前他在每个乡镇上每找到一个巫师 ...he used to charge each town and village ninepence
都会向镇上的人索要九便士 for every witch he found.
大家伙还真的给 And they paid.
那么 您是 猎巫人将军吗？ Are you, um, Witchfinder General?
哦 俺可不是 Oh, I am not.
这世上哪还有什么猎巫人将军 There is no longer a Witchfinder General.
也莫得猎巫人上校了 Nor is there a Witchfinder Colonel,
猎巫人少校也莫有 连个上尉都莫有 a Witchfinder Major, not even a Witchfinder Captain.
不过嘞 还有个猎巫人中士 There is, however, a Witchfinder Sergeant.
就是在下咯 And you're looking at him.
嗯 很高兴认识你 沙德维尔先生 Well, pleased to meet you, Mr Shadwell.
唔 俺来杯茶 九块糖 Um, cup of tea. Nine sugars.
再来包洋葱芝士味的薯片 And a packet of cheese and onion crisps.
您稍等 Coming right up.
侬掏钱啊 小子儿 Get your wallet out, laddie.
要俺说呢 侬可不想把自己手头紧当成 Bit of advice: You never want to appear tight-fisted
给别人的第一印象吧 on first acquaintance.
- 谢谢 - 而且别叫俺沙德维尔“先生” - Thank you. - And it's not "Mr Shadwell".
俺是中士 猎巫人中士沙德维尔 It's "Sergeant". Witchfinder Sergeant Shadwell.
侬叫啥啊 小子儿 What's your name, lad?
牛顿 牛顿·帕西法 Newton. Newton Pulsifer.
帕西法 Pulsifer?
侬这么一说 俺听着耳熟啊 That's a familiar name, now you mention it.
牙口都是自己个儿的不？ You have your own teeth?
嗯 Yes.
- 你有几个乳头？ - 什么？ -How many nipples have you got? -What?
乳头 小子儿 有几个？ Nipples, laddie. How many?
就 一般人一样两个 Um, just the usual two.
成…… Okay...
明儿11点去这个地方找俺 Be here at 11:00 tomorrow.
带把剪子 Bring scissors.
加入专业队伍
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抗击黑暗势力。提供制服和基本培训。大量战地升迁机会。
做个男子汉！
猎巫人中士 沙德威尔
电话：0207 946 7725
英国总部地址：伦敦市克劳奇区詹姆斯党街11号36b公寓
帽子遗失
书本遗失
特里叔叔的帽子 于苏活区书店附近遗失……
塔德菲尔德 茉莉小屋
星期四
距世界末日还有两天
放那就可以了 非常感谢 Just put it there. Thanks so much.
多漂亮的小村子啊 是吧？ What a gorgeous village, huh?
谢啦 Thank you.
塔德菲尔德
好的 Right.
开工吧 To work.
多简单的任务 Easy job.
送出敌基督 盯紧他的动向 Deliver the Antichrist. Keep an eye on him.
简单好做的任务 是吧？ Nice, straightforward job, eh?
不是那种随随便便就能被恶魔给搅黄的事 是吧？ Not the kind of thing any demon is going to screw up, right?
公寓中让克鲁利投入很多个人精力的 The only things in the flat Crowley devotes any personal attention to
只有那些盆栽 are the houseplants.
在七十年代早期他听说了和植物聊天这个方法 He had heard about talking to plants in the early '70s,
认为这是个绝妙的主意 and thought it an excellent idea.
但“聊天”这个词并不足以描述克鲁利的行为 Although "talking" is perhaps the wrong word for what Crowley does.
那是虫眼儿么？ Is that a spot?
是不是？ Is it?
是吧 你们知道对于叶子长虫眼我是个什么态度吧 Right, you know what I've told you all about leaf spots.
我决不接受有洞的叶子！ I will not stand for them!
你瞧瞧你干的好事 You know what you've done.
我真是太失望了 You've disappointed me.
真是的 哎呀呀 Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
花花草草们！ Everyone!
跟你们的朋友说再见吧 Say goodbye to your friend.
他就是搞不定这烂枝叶 He just couldn't cut it.
现在呢 你得去经受比让我看见虫眼还要痛苦的惩罚了 Now, this is going to hurt you so much more than it will hurt me.
所以你们几个 给我好好长！ And you guys, grow better!
他所做的是向盆栽们灌输对神的敬畏 What he does is put the fear of God into them.
更准确地说 是对克鲁利的敬畏 More precisely, the fear of Crowley.
这里的盆栽是全伦敦最繁茂 The plants are the most luxurious,
最翠绿 最美丽的 verdant and beautiful in London.
同时也是最担惊受怕的 Also, the most terrified.
《艾格尼丝·风子的精良准确预言书》？ The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter?
非常抱歉 帮不了你 I'm so sorry, I can't help you.
哈 我当然知道她是谁 Well, of course I know who she was.
生于1600年 自爆于1656年 Born 1600, exploded 1656.
但是她的著作已经买不到了 But there are no copies of her book available.
不是 我没法报价 我压根就没有 No, I can't name my price. I don't have it.
没人有—— Nobody has--
呃 您说您何必要讲这样的话呢 Well, there really is no need for that kind of language.
特蕾西夫人
沙德维尔
啊 您好 Um, hello.
我是看到了报纸上的广告过来的 I'm here about the advert in the paper.
嗯 “特蕾西夫人揭开帷幕” Well, Madame Tracy draws aside the veil
除周四外每天下午 every afternoon except Thursdays.
应该还有另一条广告 I think there must be another advert.
啊 是啊 Oh, right.
进来吧 亲爱的 你走运了 Come in, dear. You're lucky.
我一个常客今天来不了了 One of my regulars had to cancel.
现如今 如果没有预约我是不提供那些稀奇古怪的服务的 Now, I don't do anything kinky except by prior arrangement.
而且我的膝盖也大不如从前了 And my knees aren't what they were.
再有就是 如果你想让我对你“严加管教”一番 Also, if it's strict discipline you'll be wanting,
你得赶紧告诉我 毕竟我得花上半个小时 you'd better tell me now because it can take me half an hour
才能挤进那件皮衣 to squeeze into the leather pinny.
您说什么？ I'm sorry?
你到底是不是来体验高阶绅士 Are you not here for intimate personal relaxation
私密舒缓减压服务的？ and stress relief for the discerning gentleman?
不是 No.
我过来加入猎巫人大军 I'm here to join the Witchfinder Army.
哦！ Oh!
沙德维尔先生是说过他在等客人 Mr Shadwell said he was expecting a visitor.
他这里好久没来过客人了 It's just been him for so long.
嘛呀 Aye.
沙德维尔先生 快看 你的新兵来了 It's your new recruit, Mr Shadwell, look.
侬滚开 娼妇 Away with you, harlot.
放浪女人 耶洗别 Scarlet woman. Jezebel.
耶洗别， 《圣经》中记载的以色列王亚哈的王后，常以祭拜圣人之名行奸淫邪恶之事。
哦 沙德维尔先生 Oh, Mr Shadwell.
我给你们二位沏茶去 I'll bring you both tea.
加奶加糖么 孩子？ Milk and sugar, dear?
他已经入伙了 耶洗别 He's in the army now, Jezebel.
他得自己个儿泡茶 He'll make his own tea.
对抗邪魔
欢迎加入猎巫人大军 新兵蛋子 Welcome to the Witchfinder Army, new recruit.
侬现在正式成为猎巫人二等兵帕西法 You are, as of now, Witchfinder Private Pulsifer.
俺们的组织从前很强大的 We used to be powerful.
很受大家重视 We used to be important.
- 呕 - 加炼乳 小子儿 -Oh. -Condensed milk, lad.
- 再加—— - 九颗糖 -And I take-- -Nine sugars.
莫得错 Exactly.
俺们现在是那道隔开 We were the line of fire
黑暗势力与那些不相信巫师存在的可怜无知群众 between the darkness and the poor unsuspecting folk
的火热战线了 who don't believe in witches.
- 哼！ - 可是 沙德维尔中士 -Hmm! -But, Sergeant Shadwell,
这些活如今不应该是教会在做么？ don't the churches do that these days?
扯淡呢 小子儿 Nay, laddie.
对抗黑暗？ Against the darkness?
这是场战争 It's a war.
而且侬知道俺们要用的第一样武器是个啥不？ And you know what our first weapon is?
哦！猎巫人上校“先下手为强”达里波的专用雷电枪么？ Oh! The Thundergun of Witchfinder Colonel "Get 'em before they get you" Dalrymple?
原著小说中“先下手为强”的称号 属于另一名猎巫人贺瑞斯·纳克。 达里波的称号为“汝不可吃任何血食 亦不可施魔法或遵守时间”。
非也 小子儿 Nay, laddie.
那玩意再也用不了咯 That'll never be used again.
这个腐坏的年代已经用不上它了 Not in this degenerate age.
不赖啊 Very good.
而且侬知道俺们拿剪子是干嘛用么？ And you know what we do with them?
不是 仔儿 No, lad.
俺们要读报 We read.
女巫
无法解释的现象
现像 现相
事情 侬清楚啥意思
然后剪下来 And we cut.
你好 我是安东尼·克鲁利 Hey, this is Anthony Crowley.
你知道该怎么做 留言要有范儿 You know what to do. Do it with style.
我这边还没线索 No leads yet my end.
你那边呢？ Anything at your end?
听着 我有点想法 Listen, I have sort of an idea.
什么？ What?
啊 你在啊 11年前你调包婴儿的时候 Ah, hello. When you did the baby swap 11 years ago,
会不会哪里出了岔子？ could something have gone wrong?
啥？ What?
- 你弄丢了那个男孩 - 是“我们”弄丢了他 -You've lost the boy. - "We've" lost him.
有个小孩不见了 A child has been lost.
- 不过你知道他的年龄 - 是“我们”知道 -But you still know his age-- -"We" know.
今天是他的生日 他11岁了 His birthday. He's 11.
-你说来倒容易 -不会难到哪儿去 -You make it sound easy. -Well, it can't be that hard.
我只希望他没出事 I just hope nothing's happened to him.
出事？他才不会出事咧 Happened? Nothing's happened to him.
他让一切变糟 He happens to everything.
我们只需找到他的出生证明 So, we only have to find his birth records.
可以通过医院档案查询 Go through the hospital files.
-然后呢？ -然后咱们找到那个孩子 -And then what? -And then we find the child.
再然后呢？ And then what?
注意行人 Watch out for that pedestrian.
她既然在街上走 就应该知道有多大风险 She's on the street. She knows the risk she's taking.
看路——看着路 Just watch the-- Watch the road.
那 那家医院在哪儿？ Wh-Where is this hospital, anyway?
在牛津附近的一个叫塔德菲尔德的村子 A village near Oxford, Tadfield.
克鲁利 你不能在伦敦中心区开到145公里 Crowley, you can't do 90 miles per hour in Central London.
-为什么不能？ -你会把咱们害死 -Why not? -You'll get us killed.
应该说是会造成不便的灵肉分离 Well, inconveniently discorporated.
音乐 不如我来放点……音乐吧？ Music. Why don't I put on a little... music?
“地下丝绒”是什么？ What's a Velvet Underground?
你不会喜欢的 You wouldn't like it.
哦 就像比波普爵士乐 Oh. Bebop.
比波普爵士乐是一种开始于40年代早期的爵士乐新类型， 发展到1945年才开始显山露水，极富革命性， 在当时看来很极端。
呀！ Yah!
亚当 我还是没法相信 你爸竟然允许你养狗 I still can't believe your dad let you keep him, Adam.
我当初发现一只猫时 Actually, when I found a cat
狗狗 恶魔地狱犬及恐猫者
还得张贴公告说我们发现了一只走失的猫 we had to put up a notice saying we found a lost cat,
温斯利戴
然后我们得还回去 and then we had to give her back.
这是我生日 而且他没戴项圈 It's my birthday. And he wasn't wearing a collar.
亚当·扬 敌基督
我们也问过了 没人通报有狗走失 And we asked, and nobody's reported a missing dog.
我们家的狗不喜欢我 它假装我不存在 Our dog doesn't like me. It pretends I'm not there.
布赖恩
你们知道吗？我的表妹夏洛特说 在美国 Did you know that my cousin Charlotte says that in America,
有商店卖39种口味的冰淇淋 they have shops that sell 39 different flavours of ice cream.
温斯利戴曾被命名为杰里米 Wensleydale's first name is Jeremy,
但没人这么叫他 but nobody's ever used it,
连他的父母都不这么叫 他们叫他“小家伙” not even his parents, who call him "Youngster".
温斯利戴总有一天 All that stands between Wensleydale
会成为注册会计师 and chartered accountancy is time.
冰淇淋没有39种口味 There aren't 39 different flavours of ice cream.
佩帕
全世界的冰淇淋都没有39种口味 There aren't 39 flavours of ice cream in the whole world.
佩帕的名字是皮平·凯兰崔尔·月之子 Pepper's given first names were Pippin Galadriel Moonchild.
皮平和凯兰崔尔都是《魔戒》中的角色，当年的嬉皮士们将这本书视作圣典。
她是在一个命名仪式上得到这名字的 She had been given them in a naming ceremony
那个泥泞的谷地上有几只绵羊 in a muddy valley field that contained several sheep
以及一些会漏水的聚乙烯帐篷 and a number of leaky polythene tents.
六个月后 因为受够了雨水 那里的人们 Six months later, sick of the rain, the men,
以及先后吃掉大麻作物和帐篷的绵羊 the sheep who ate first their marijuana crop and then their tents,
佩帕的母亲返回塔德菲尔德 Pepper's mother returned to Tadfield
报名注册了社会学课程 and enrolled in a Sociology course.
有可能的 如果把冰淇淋混合起来的话 There could be, if you mixed them up.
好比草莓和巧克力 You know, strawberry and chocolate.
每个小团体都需要像布赖恩这样的人 Every gang needs a Brian.
总是脏兮兮的 支持亚当的发明 提供他需要的一切 Always grimy, always supportive of anything Adam invents or needs.
香草和巧克力 Vanilla and chocolate.
巧克力和香草 Chocolate and vanilla.
草莓 香草和巧克力 Strawberry and vanilla and chocolate.
总之 没人能把狗狗从我身边夺走 Anyway, nobody's going to take Dog away from me.
我们要一起走完这一生 对吧狗狗？ We're together to the end. Aren't we, boy?
蝾螈之眼和狗之舌 Eye of newt and tongue of dog,
西北偏北 north by northwest.
那儿 There.
是西南方 And it's southwest.
你肯定就在这里某处 You must be here somewhere.
有个女巫住进了茉莉小屋 There's a witch moved in to Jasmine Cottage.
-真是蠢话 -才不是呢 蠢蛋 - That's stupid. -It's not stupid, stupid.
亨德森太太跟我妈妈说 那个女人订了一份女巫的报纸 Mrs Henderson told my mother that the lady there gets a witches' newspaper.
不好意思 我爸说世上没有什么女巫 Excuse me. My father says there's no such thing as witches.
女巫有自己的报纸很合理 It makes sense that witches would have their own newspaper.
我爸订了份《垂钓者邮报》 My dad gets the Angler's Times,
我打赌世上的女巫肯定比垂钓者多 and I bet there's loads more witches than anglers.
闭嘴 我想告诉你们一些事情 Shut up. I'm trying to tell you things.
那报纸叫《通灵新闻报》 It's called the Psychic News.
她是个女巫 She's a witch.
实际上 世上早就没有女巫了 因为我们发明了科学 Actually, there are no more witches, because we invented science
所有教区牧师都会烧死女巫 这是为她们好 and all the vicars set fire to the witches for their own good.
这叫西班牙宗教裁判所 It was called the Spanish Inquisition.
我觉得到处放火烧死别人 肯定是不允许的 I don't reckon it's allowed, going round setting fire to people.
要不人们岂不是烧起来没个够 Otherwise people'd be doing it all the time.
如果你是教区牧师就没问题 这样做还能防止女巫下地狱 It's alright if you're a vicar and it stops the witches from going to hell.
我想 只要能摆正心态，她们还会感激不尽呢 So I expect they'd be quite grateful if they understood it properly.
我们可以是新的西班牙宗教裁判所 We could be the new Spanish Inquisition.
实际上 我们不可能是西班牙宗教裁判所 Actually, we can't be the Spanish Inquisition,
因为我们并不是西班牙人 because we're not actually Spanish.
我去过巴塞罗那 我能教你们西班牙语 I've been to Barcelona. I can teach you Spanish.
他们经常说“olé” They say "olé" a lot.
西班牙语“olé”，多用于表达赞美之情。
我们在开始烧女巫前应该练习一下 We should practice before we start burning witches.
我们应该稳扎稳打 从小处做起 We should start small and work our way up.
交给我吧 Leave it to me.
这一带就是塔德菲尔德 看着眼熟吗？ This is the Tadfield area. Does it look familiar yet?
确实眼熟 附近应该有个空军基地的 You know, it does. I think there's an air base around here somewhere.
空军基地？ Air base?
你不会以为美国外交官的妻子 Well, you don't think American diplomats' wives
会在不知什么地方的 usually give birth in little religious hospitals
教会小医院里生孩子吧？ in the middle of nowhere, do you?
当然不是 必须让一切显得自然而然 No, it all had to seem to happen naturally,
所以下塔德菲尔德有一处空军基地 so there's an air base at Lower Tadfield.
孩子要生了 基地医院还没做好准备 Things started to happen, base hospital isn't ready.
我们在那儿的人说 "Oh", our man there said.
“沿这条路走有家接生医院” "There's a birthing hospital just down the road."
就这么搞定了 And there we were.
相当严密的计划 Rather good organisation.
完美无瑕 Flawless.
本应该成功的 It should have worked.
不过邪恶总是暗藏自我毁灭的种子 Ah, but evil always contains the seeds of its own destruction.
不管一个邪恶计划多么宏大 多么周详 No matter how well-planned, how foolproof an evil plan,
无论这个计划表面上多么成功 no matter how apparently successful it may seem upon the way,
到最后它总会从罪孽的岩石上跌落 消失 in the end it will founder on the rocks of iniquity and vanish.
在我看来 只是惯常地出了岔子而已 For my money it was just an ordinary cock-up.
-你们好 -你好 -Hey, guys. -Hi.
帽子真好看 Nice hat.
其实这是我们用纸板做的 Actually, we made it out of cardboard.
是为了玩游戏 It's for our game.
很时髦 你们在玩什么？ Stylish. What are you guys playing?
- 英国宗教裁判所 - 快过来 温斯利戴 - The British Inquisition. - Come on, Wensleydale.
听起来很有趣 这游戏要怎么玩？ Sounds like fun. How does the game work?
我是大裁判官 布赖恩是首席用刑者 I am chief inquisitor. Brian is head torturer.
我们正在找女巫 And we're trying to find a witch.
听起来很合理 Oh. Sounds very sensible.
-你们要怎么找？ -看好了 - How do you do that? - Watch.
汝可是女巫？ Art thou a witch?
Olé？ Olé?
是？ Yes?
你不能说是 你要说不 You can't say yes. You've got to say no.
然后呢？ Then what?
然后我们就对你用刑 直到你承认为止 Then we torture you until you say yes.
等等 你们要对他用刑？ Wait, you're going to torture him?
我们造了一个刑具 We built a torturing machine.
这看起来像个秋千 It looks like a swing.
不过显然在这种情况下 我其实就是个女巫 But, obviously, in this situation, I actually am a witch.
我有一顶大尖角帽 家里还养了一只猫 I have a big pointy hat, and we have a cat at home, and--
而且我还借了妈妈的扫帚 and I borrowed Mum's broom.
听着 谁也没说你不能当女巫 Look, no one's saying you can't be a witch,
但你要说你不是女巫 but you just have to say you're not a witch.
如果我们一问 你就马上承认 There's no point taking all this trouble
我们干吗要费这么大劲 if you're going to go round saying yes the minute we ask you.
-回答不是就好 -可是—— - Just say no. - But--
邪恶的老太婆 汝可是女巫？ Art thou a witch, oh, evil crone?
不好意思 亚当 为什么所有活儿都要我干？ Excuse me, Adam, why must I do all the work?
我正在被用刑 实际上这是很痛苦的 I'm being tortured here. Actually, this is very painful.
我在考虑承认自己是女巫 I am thinking of admitting to being a witch.
如果我不能玩 那我就回家了 I'm going to go home if I can't have a go.
我不明白为什么乐子全让邪恶女巫得去了 Don't see why evil witches should have all the fun.
你要继续推我 You have to keep pushing.
-小朋友 -什么事？ - Hey, kid. - Yeah?
-我能问个问题吗？ -可以 -Can I ask you something? -Yeah.
这里有没有出现巨大野兽 或是发生怪事？ Are there any great beasts or strange things happening?
这里有狗狗 他是野兽 Well, there's Dog. I mean, he's a beast.
来 狗狗 打个招呼吧 Come on, Dog, say hello.
这不是我在找的那种野兽 Not what I was looking for.
等一下 我得告诉他们要做什么 Hold on. I have to tell them what to do.
好了 邪恶女巫温斯利戴 别再坐了 All right, evil witch Wensleydale, don't do it again.
现在你从用刑的秋千上下来 换别人坐 And now you get off the torturing swing and let someone else have a turn.
好吧 你们这些小孩真滑稽 Right, well, you kids are hilarious,
但我要接着寻找了 再见 but I'm going to keep looking, so, bye.
你确定是这里吗？ Um, are you sure this is the right place?
这里——这里看起来不像医院 This-- This doesn't look like a hospital.
而且…… And...
……这里有一种爱的感觉 ...it feels loved.
没错 绝对就是这里 No, it's definitely the place.
你说“爱的感觉”是什么意思？ What do you mean "loved"?
就是和你那句话相反的意思 Well, I mean the opposite of when you say,
“我不喜欢这里 感觉毛骨悚然” "I don't like this place. It feels spooky".
我从来不这么说 我喜欢毛骨悚然 I don't ever say that. I like spooky.
我可是毛骨悚然的头号粉丝 我们去找修女们吧 Big spooky fan, me. Let's go talk to some nuns.
啊 哦 Ah! Oh!
蓝色的？ Blue?
-哦是颜料 -喂！ - Oh, it's paint. - Hey!
你们都被击中了！ You've both been hit!
我不知道你们以为自己在玩什么—— I don't know what you think you're playing at right--
啊 Aah!
-吓人真好玩 -是啊 对你来说很好玩 -Well, that was fun. -Well, yes, fun for you.
看看我的大衣都成什么样了 Look at the state of this coat.
我让它保持最好的状态 已经超过180年了 I've kept this in tip-top condition for over 180 years now.
我永远别想把这污渍洗掉了 I'll never get this stain out.
-你可以用神迹把它搞掉 -嗯…… -You could miracle it away. -Hmm...
对 但…… Yes, but...
我始终会记得那里曾经有块污渍 well, I would always know the stain was there.
我是说在内心深处 Underneath, I mean.
哦 谢谢 Oh, thank you.
了不起的武器装备 Impressive hardware.
我检查了这把枪 I've looked at this gun.
根本没什么用 It's not a proper one at all.
只能发射颜料弹 It just shoots paintballs.
你们那帮人不是反对枪支吗？ Don't your lot disapprove of guns?
在正确之人手上就没关系 Unless they're in the right hands.
然后他们就会重视道德争议 Then they give weight to a moral argument.
我想是这样 I think.
道德争议？真的假的？ A moral argument? Really?
走吧 Come on.
绝对是这里 This is definitely the place.
管理培训不再意味着 Management training no longer meant
非让人们枯坐在不可靠的幻灯片投影仪前不可 watching half a dozen unreliable PowerPoint presentations.
塔德菲尔德庄园
联合全球控股
主动出击课程
如今这年月 公司有更高的期望 Firms these days expected more than that.
他们旨在培养领导力潜能 They wanted to establish leadership potential,
团队合作精神和主观能动性 group cooperation and initiative,
因此允许员工发射颜料弹 which allowed their employees to fire paintballs
射击任何让自己不爽的同事 at any colleagues who irritated them.
不知道修女都跑哪儿去了？ Wonder where the nuns went.
克鲁利正在翻看的塔德菲尔德庄园手册里 The brochure for Tadfield Manor Crowley is inspecting
没有一处提到 fails to contain any sentences along the lines of,
“直到11年前 这座庄园都被当成医院使用 "Until 11 years ago, the manor was used as a hospital
虽说这里的撒旦教会修女们对如何执行邪恶计划并不特别在行” by an order of Satanic nuns who weren't actually very good at it".
会计部的米莉给我胳膊肘上来了一下 Oh, Millie from Accounts caught me on the elbow.
-谁赢了？ -你们都要输了 -Who's winning? -You're all going to lose.
见鬼 你刚才做了什么？ What-- What the hell did you just do?
这个嘛 他们想要真枪 Well, they wanted real guns,
我就满足他们的心愿 so I gave them what they wanted.
我一直跟你们说不要相信采购部的人 I always said you couldn't trust those people from Purchasing.
混蛋 The bastards.
外面的人正在互相射击 There are people out there shooting at each other.
这有助于他们探讨道德争议 Well, it lends weight to their moral argument.
每个人都有自由意志 Everyone has free will,
包括杀人的权利 including the right to murder.
你应该把这里看成是宇宙的微缩标本 Just think of it as a microcosm of the universe.
我想成为平面设计师 I wanted to be a graphics designer,
为滚石乐队设计唱片封面 design LPs for the Rolling Stones,
但就业辅导员说他从没听说过那支乐队 but the careers teacher said he hadn't heard of them.
-于是我这36年都在核查BF-18表格 - So I spent 36 years double-checking form BF-18.
他们不能就这样打发我 “哦 诺曼 你可以提早退休 They couldn't just say, "Oh, Norman, we're giving you early retirement.
拿着这块表 滚去照顾你的金盏花吧” Have a watch, bugger off and tend your marigolds".
好 如果他们要开战…… Well, if they want war...
我们就和他们战到底 we're going to give them war.
行了 伙计们 让我们干翻这群杂种 Okay, guys, let's get the bastards.
他们在互相残杀 They're murdering each other.
没 他们没有 没人在杀人 No, they aren't. No one's killing anyone.
他们都会奇迹般地逃出生天 They're all having miraculous escapes.
否则就不好玩了 It wouldn't be any fun otherwise.
你知道吗 克鲁利 You know, Crowley,
我的内心深处一直觉得 I've always said that deep down,
你真的是个心存仁善…… you really are quite a nice--
闭嘴！ Shut it!
我是个魔鬼 没有心存仁善 I'm a demon. I'm not nice.
我心里永远没有仁善 心存仁善是四个字 I'm never nice. Nice is a four-letter word.
英语里nice由四个字母组成，很多脏话也都是四个字母组成。
-我不会允许—— -不好意思 先生们 - I will not have-- - Excuse me, gentlemen.
不好意思打断你们的亲密交流 有什么我能帮忙的吗？ Sorry to break up an intimate moment. Can I help you?
-是你 -圣徒和魔鬼保佑啊 是克鲁利大人 -You. -Saints and demons preserve us, it's Master Crowley.
玛丽·饶舌 前圣贝利尔唠叨修会的修女
你用不着那么干 You didn't have to do that.
直接问她不就行了 You could have just asked her.
哦…… Oh...
当然 当然 不用 对啊 of course, of course. No. Yeah.
“不好意思 女士 我们是两个超自然生命 "Excuse me, ma'am, we're two supernatural entities
只不过是想找到恶名昭彰的撒旦之子 just looking for the notorious Son of Satan.
不知道你是否愿意协助我们调查？” Wonder if you might help us with our enquiries?"
呃 啊 听着……你好 Um, ahem, look... hello.
就随便问问而已 11年前你应该不是这里的一名修女吧？ You weren't by any chance, a nun here at this convent 11 years ago, were you?
我是 I was.
真是恶魔般的好运 Luck of the devil.
我给你的那个婴儿怎么样了？ What happened to the baby I gave you?
我把他和美国大使的儿子掉包了 I swapped him with the son of the American ambassador.
他真是个善良的人 Such a nice man.
曾经担任驻斯温顿大使 He used to be ambassador to Swindon.
然后特蕾莎·唠叨修女来带走了另外那个婴儿 Then Sister Theresa Garrulous came and took the other baby away.
那个美国大使 他叫什么名字？ This American ambassador, what was his name?
他从哪里来 又把那孩子怎么样了？ Where did he come from and what did he do with the baby?
我不知道 I don't know.
记录肯定有记录 Records. There must have been records.
是的是有很多记录 Yes. There were lots of records.
我们很擅长保存记录 We were very good at keeping records.
好吧 记录在哪？ Well, where are they?
被火烧掉了 Burned in the fire.
哈斯塔！ Hastur!
行吧 你还记得那婴儿别的什么？ Well, is there anything you remember about the baby?
他有可爱的小脚趾头 He had lovely little toesie-woesies.
咱们走吧 Let's go.
你醒来后 只觉得刚做了个你最喜欢的美梦 You will wake, having had a lovely dream about whatever you like best.
哇 Oi.
你还以为他会自己现身 对吧？ You'd think he'd show up, wouldn't you?
还以为我们能设法探测到他 You'd think we could detect him in some way.
他不会现身不会在我们面前 有保护态 He won't show up. Not to us. Protective camouflage.
他自己甚至都不知道 但他的力量 He won't even know it, but his powers will keep him hidden
会使他免于遭到神秘力量的窥探 from prying occult forces.
神秘力量？ Occult forces?
你和我 You and me.
-我没有神秘力量 -哦…… -I'm not occult. -Oh...
天使不神秘 我们的是神力 Angels aren't occult. We're ethereal.
还有其他办法可以找出他吗？ Is there some other way of locating him?
我他妈的怎么知道？ How the heaven should I know?
世界末日大战就这一次 你也知道 Armageddon only happens once, you know.
你又不能回炉重来 直到搞对为止 You don't get to go round again until you get it right.
不过有件事我是知道的 要是我们不找到他 But I know one thing, if we don't find him,
那不再是一场终结所有战争的战争 it won't be the war to end all wars.
而会是终结所有一切的战争 It'll be the war to end everything.
大部分关于巫术的书会告诉你 Most books on witchcraft
女巫施法时是赤裸的 will tell you that witches work naked.
那是因为大部分关于巫术的书 是男人写的 This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.
“幽暗之夜和闪烁之月……” "Darksome night and shining moon..."
来吧 Come on.
这整个地区有种非常奇特的感觉 There's a very peculiar feeling to this whole area.
你居然感觉不到 I'm astonished you can't feel it.
除了正常之外我什么都感觉不到 I don't feel anything out of the ordinary.
可这感觉到处都有 遍布周围 But it's everywhere. All over here.
爱 Love.
爱的闪光 Flashes of love.
你开始胡说八道了 You're being ridiculous.
我们现在最不需要的就是—— Last thing we need right now is--
你撞到人了 You hit someone.
我没有 I didn't.
有人撞到我了 Someone hit me.
要有光 Let there be light.
你是怎么弄出来的？ How the hell did you do that?
我觉得我撞到头了 I think I hit my head.
就是这样 骨头没事 That's it. No bones broken.
我的自行车 My bike.
哦 Oh.
这些老物件 复原能力超强 Amazingly resilient, these old machines.
你是要去哪里？ Where do you need to get to?
不 不 我们不会送她去 No, no, we're not giving her a lift.
不可能 没地方放自行车 Out of the question. There's nowhere to put the bike.
但是有自行车架 Except for the bike rack.
上车吧 亲爱的 Do get in, my dear.
那 我们要送你到哪？ So, where are we taking you?
回村里 我会给你指路 Back to the village. I'll give you directions.
背景音乐：Queen《Bicycle Race》
听着 我的自行车 没有变速器 Listen, my bike, it didn't have gears.
我知道我的自行车没装变速器 I know my bike didn't have gears.
左拐 Make a left.
哦 主啊 请治好那辆车吧 Oh, Lord, heal this bike.
我确实有点过了 I got carried away.
哦 我在这儿下车 Oh, you can drop me off here.
哦 看哪 没有变速器 Oh, look, no gears.
-只是一辆及其普通的双轮车 -自行车 -Just a perfectly normal velocipede. -Bicycle.
我们能走了吗？ Can we get on?
上车 天使 Get in, angel.
你好啊 亲爱的 怎么样了？ Hola, mi amor. How is it going?
不怎么样 Lousy.
有没有进展啊 是要找——？ Any progress in finding the--?
幼兽和小兽？ The young beast and the lesser beast?
它肯定在村子北端 It must be at the north end of the village.
我很肯定 只是不知道具体的位置 I'm certain of it. I just can't figure out where.
你有没有用你的摆坠？ Have you used your pendulum?
妈妈 我不是小孩子了 Mom, I'm not a kid.
如果太靠近 信号铺天盖地 If I get too close, the signal swamps me.
远了 我就没法校准 Further away, I can't get an accurate fix.
亲爱的 那本书里永远都有答案 Mi amor, the answers are always in the book.
只是有时要事后才能明白 It's just sometimes you don't see them till afterwards.
那本书 The book.
见鬼了 妈妈 我回头再打给你 Holy shit, Mom. I'm going to have to call you back.
嗯 Mm.
你知道 我们也许要靠另一个人类才能找到他 You know, we might get another human to find him.
-什么？ -人类擅长寻找另一个人类 -What? -Humans are good at finding other humans.
他们已经找了几千年了 They've been doing it for thousands of years.
而那孩子部分是人类 And the child is partly human.
其他人类也许能感应到他 Other humans might be able to sense him.
他是敌基督 He's the Antichrist.
他有自动防御能力 He's got an automatic defence thingy.
猜忌会从他身边滑落就像…… Suspicion slides off him like...
就像是水滴从不管什么东西上滑落 whatever it is water slides off.
还有别的主意吗？ Got any better ideas?
哪怕就一个好点的主意？ Or one single, better idea?
我还是不懂你为什么要让他养那条狗？ I still don't know why you let him keep that dog.
那天是他生日 而且 唉 我也不知道 It was his birthday. And, oh, I don't know,
亚瑟·扬
迪尔德丽·扬
他看着那条狗的样子 还有那条狗看着他的样子 the way that he was looking at the dog and the dog was looking at him.
就像他们是命中注定要在一块的 As if they were made for each other.
亚瑟 你有时候心肠也挺软 Arthur, you are a softy sometimes.
这评价让人火大 I resent that remark.
-那条狗现在在哪里？ -拴在外头 -Where's the dog now? -Tied up outside.
亚当问起他能不能带狗进屋 Adam asked if he could have him in his room,
但我说绝对不行 but I said absolutely not.
“绝对不行” 我这么说的 "Absolutely not", I said.
来啊 狗狗 Come on, Dog.
这是在干嘛？ What was that about?
哦 就是看看亚当 Oh, just checking on Adam.
当他睡着的时候 你知道…… He's quite sweet, you know...
他还是挺可爱的 when he's asleep.
他睡着的时候 对 When he's asleep, yeah.
听着 有些事我应该告诉你 Look, there's something I should tell you.
我有……“关系” I have a... "network"
那些训练有素的人类探员 of highly trained human agents
遍布全国各地 spread across the country.
眼下 我可以安排他们搜寻那孩子 Now, I could set them searching for the boy.
你有？我也——我也有类似的 You do? I actually--I actually have something similar.
人类探子 Human operatives.
天哪 你不觉得他们应该协力合作？ Gosh, do you think they ought to work together?
我不觉得 I don't think that's a very good idea.
从政治的角度上讲 My lot are not very sophisticated,
我那批人不怎么圆滑 politically speaking.
对 对 我的也不怎么样 No, no, neither are mine.
那我们就让各自的探子去找那孩子？ So we tell our respective operatives to look for the boy?
那你有更好的主意吗？ Unless you have a better idea?
-鸭子！ -什么鸭子？ -Ducks! -What about ducks?
就是水滴滑过的那个 They're what water slides off.
好好开车吧 拜托 Just drive the car, please.
你知道吗 如果你把全世界人类排成长队 You know, if you lined up everyone in the whole world
让他们描述地下丝绒乐队 and asked them to describe the Velvet Underground,
没有一个人会说“比波普” nobody at all would say "bebop".
咦 后面有本书 Oh, there's a book back there.
哦 不是我的 我不看书 Well, it's not mine. I don't read books.
它应该属于你撞到的那个年轻小姐 It has to belong to the young lady you hit with your car.
我手头的麻烦事够多了 I'm in enough trouble as it is.
我是不会去归还失物的 I'm not going to start returning lost property.
那是你们的活 That's what your lot do.
艾格尼丝·风子的 精良准确预言书
你干嘛不送到塔德菲尔德邮局去 Why don't you just send it to the Tadfield post office,
寄给“骑自行车的美国疯女人”？ addressed to "the mad American woman with the bicycle"?
哦 呃……不错 好啊 行吧 Oh, uh...jolly good, yes. Rather.
好 那么 我俩都去联络各自的人类探子？ Right, so we'll both contact our respective human operatives, then?
就这么着 All right.
-你还好吗？ -当然了 好得很 -Are you alright? -Perfectly, yes.
啊 棒棒的 Uh, tip-top.
-真是呱呱叫 -呱呱叫？ -Absolutely tickety-boo. -Tickety-boo?
你路上小心 Mind how you go.
好的 Right.
行吧 真是奇葩 Well, that was a thing.
亚茨拉菲尔尤为他所收藏的预言书而自豪 Aziraphale was particularly proud of his books of prophecy.
大多都是初版 First editions, usually.
每一本都有签名 And every one was signed.
他有吉普赛人玛莎 伊格内修斯·西比拉 He had Martha the Gypsy and Ignatius Sybilla
吉普赛人玛莎和伊格内修斯·西比拉都是留有署名著作的预言家、神谕者，但有人怀疑其是否真实存在过。
吉普赛人玛莎
伊格内修斯· 西比拉
和奥特韦尔·宾斯的作品 and Ottwell Binns.
奥特韦尔·宾斯（1872-1935），英国小说家、一神教牧师。其小说作品多为冒险、神秘题材。
诺查丹玛斯
诺查丹玛斯给他的赠言是 Nostradamus had signed,
“向我的老朋友亚茨拉菲尔致以最诚挚的祝愿” "To myne olde friend Azerafel, with beste wishes".
他的藏本上有谢顿嬷嬷本人洒出的酒 Mother Shipton had spilled drink on his copy of her book.
他甚至拥有拔摩岛的约翰最初手写的卷轴 He even owned an original scroll in the handwriting of St John the Divine of Patmos,
拔摩岛的约翰是《圣经·新约》中《启示录》的作者， 古代很长时间里，主流基督教会都认为他就是 耶稣十二门徒中的圣约翰，但现代学者根据 一些古代文献，提出这两位约翰并不是同一人。
他的《启示录》是空前绝后的畅销书 whose "Revelation" had been the all-time best seller.
但有本书他之前一直都没能得手 But there was one book he didn't have.
一本他仅仅听说过的书 One book he had only heard of.
《艾格尼絲·風子的精良準確預言書》 The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter.
完美記述從現代到世界末日的人類歷史
包含眾多奇聞逸事及智慧箴言
比出版過的所有書籍更加全面
記述未來奇異時代 以及神奇自然界中的各種趣聞
媲美諾查丹瑪斯的傳世名作
——厄休拉·謝頓
第3008則 當天使在自己的書店里 3008. When that the angel readeth these words of mine,
念出我寫就的文字時 in his shop of other men's books,
末日確已降臨於吾等 then the final days are certes upon us.
睜開汝眼去理解 Open thine eyes to understand.
睜開汝眼去閱讀 我要說 Open thine eyes and read, I do say,
愚蠢的權天使啊 foolish principalitee,
汝之可可要……涼了” for thy cocoa doth grow... cold".
“汝之可可要涼了？” "Thy cocoa doth grow cold"?
什么可可——噢！ What cocoa-- Oh!
有什么消息吗？找到失踪的敌基督了没？ Any news? Found the missing Antichrist yet?
没 没有消息 没有 什么都没有 No. No news. Nothing. Nothing at all.
如果我有什么消息 会告诉你的 肯定会 If I had anything, I would tell you, obviously.
立刻就告诉你我们是朋友啊 你干嘛要这么问？ Immediately. We're friends. Why would you even ask?
哦 我这边也没消息 Oh, there's no news here either.
有什么消息就打电话给我 Call me if you find anything.
那肯定啊 你怎么就觉得我不会告诉你呢？ Absolutely. Why would you think I wouldn't?
……將平原裂為海岸。
第3817則。 按照聖約翰《啟示錄》 中的獸名數目，往 塔德菲爾德呼喚他。 汝將見此征兆： 汝呼喚他之時， 小獸正用後腿行走， 恰似一隻跳舞熊。
數目
呼喚
塔德菲爾德
等等 Hang on.
“凡有聰明的 可以算計獸的數目 "Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast,
出自《圣经·新约》（启13:18）。
因為這是人的數目 for it is the number of a man.
他的數目是六百六十六” And his number is six hundred threescore and six."
666是基督教文化中的“兽名数目”，解释方法繁多， 其中一种说法认为它是隐藏着敌基督名字的密码。 希特勒、古罗马暴君尼禄的名字均可通过一定计算方式解释为666。
不会那么简单吧？ It can't be that simple, can it?
当然 我得先拨塔德菲尔德的区号 I'd have to put the Tadfield area code first, of course.
塔德菲尔德 0-4-6-三个6 我是亚瑟·扬 Tadfield, 0-4-6-triple-6. Arthur Young here.
爸 你看 我教会狗狗用后腿走路啦！ Dad, look, I got Dog to walk on his hind legs!
……汝將見此征……
……汝呼喚他之時，小……
……用後腿行走，恰似……
……熊。
抱歉 打对了！ Sorry, right number!
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